Decisions

There's times when I think it's too far gone

Other times I'm fooled by the smile he gives me

Tearing my doubts to shred

Resurfacing all the self denials and pain I went through

Traumatic only to go back inside his arms

Wishing it was only a mistake

But decisions were made

Yet, couldn't I just think what a broken man?

Sober as can be without a care in the world

Maybe it's me

I'm only this person and I can't be the woman he desires to be as broken as him

Myself knows the horrors I go through

No one can even mend the way I do because they need someone

I needed myself more than anyone

It was the only thing that got me through

You claim it's meant to be through everything we've been through

God I never meant to hurt you, but I was always so forgiving

Willing to put that in the past and hoping

While slowly pieces of me were handed out

Then again, I decided to stay

Maybe we both make the wrong decisions at times

But, for my sake please lord, make this one not end me