Chapter Twelve - The Nerd

The Nerd

I can't sleep.

The darkness of my room is deafening. I can hear an old clock ticking away somewhere, reminding me of the passing time. Of the fact that I have school in a just a few hours and need to sleep.

I hate this.

I pull the jacket to my chest, burying my nose against the fabric. But it no longer brings me comfort. Liam's scent is barely there, replaced by fresh air and the scent of dirt and trees. The smell of the quarry.

Bad memories of that night flood my mind and I push the jacket away. Tears fill my eyes at the loss. I've only had it a short time but it's like losing a dear friend.

My hands raise to my mark, trailing over the edges. I want Liam. Not just physically. I want him here with me. I want to be surrounded by him. Protected.

The emptiness I feel is painful. Unnatural. Ever since Liam marked me it's haunted me and now I know why. Now I know what Liam meant when he said he would never fully claim me. Now I know that the emptiness will never go away.

His mark will forever cause me to suffer. As if I haven't suffered enough already.

Sleep.

If I sleep, I'll have nightmares.

I will protect you.

"How?" I whisper into the darkness.

Trust me.

I do trust my wolf. Implicitly. Rolling to my side I shut my eyes, letting out a small sigh as sleep finally finds me.

And just as I feared the nightmares return in force. The sounds of crushing metal and shattering glass. The screaming. The blood.

I wake up with a jolt, old pain and agony ripping through me. Tears stream down my cheeks and my lungs struggle for air. Panic. That's what I feel. Bone chilling panic. And there's nothing I can do but let it ride over me, suck me down into the abyss, leave me shaking and empty.

You are safe.

I'm not safe. I'm never safe.

You are. Just breathe.

I do as my wolf says. I breathe. In and out. In and out. Until the pain is gone and I'm just a shaking mass of nerves. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've barely slept at all. But outside dawn is breaking and I have school.

Forcing myself out of bed I shower and dress, my mark effectively covered by my shirt collar and hair. Then I grab my book bag and head downstairs to find food. As I walk into the dining room Samuel greats me with a wide smile. "Good morning."

I smile back weakly. "Morning."

"Didn't sleep well?"

I shrug. "Happens sometimes." Breakfast is already laid out on the table and I fix myself a plate. I eat quietly while Samuel reads the newspaper. He seems to know I'm not up for conversation and I enjoy the comfortable silence.

Just as I'm finishing my bagel Roland walks in and the room goes from comfortable silence to charged energy. For twins it really is amazing how different Samuel and Roland are. Samuel calm and quiet, Roland wild and unhindered.

The tattooed wolf clasps my shoulder with a toothy grin. "Bonjour, ma chére. I will be your chauffeur this morning."

I can't help but grin back, my sour mood lifted just by being around these two. "Okay." Fetching my book bag I give Samuel a little wave, "Bye."

"Wait," Samuel says, picking up a lunch bag and handing it to me. "I packed you a lunch."

It seems so stupid, the sharp bloom of warmth and happiness I feel over something as silly as a packed lunch. But it's not. Not to me. Taking the bag, I say softly, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Have a good day," Samuel replies with a kind smile. "And don't let my brother get to frisky in the car."

Giggling, I joke, "I'll try my best."

Roland places a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "I would never."

Both Samuel and I give him a look.

"No trust." Shaking his head Roland wraps a strong arm around my shoulders and steers me out of the dining room and outside. Jin is waiting with a pissed off expression by a beaten up looking jeep half covered in mud.

"Did a bit of four wheeling this morning," Roland says at my expression.

I nod. "I see."

"I'll take you some time. You'd love it." Leaning down Roland murmurs in my ear. "It's a good way to get dirty."

I blush. Chuckling, Roland opens the passenger door for me ignoring Jin's evil glare. Jin sits in the back with arms crossed, staring out the window.

The drive to school is surprisingly pleasant. Roland talks nearly non-stop, telling stories of four wheeling in the Louisiana bayou. He keeps switching from English to French, which I doubt he even realizes, so I can't understand half of what he's saying, but I find it amusing and engaging nonetheless.

And I'm grateful for the distraction. The further we drive from Moorwood, from Liam, the worse the emptiness inside me becomes. To the point I'm shocked I can breathe at all. My hand rubs over my heart and more than once I nearly ask Roland to turn around.

But I can't and I don't. I have to learn to live without Liam. To live with the pain and emptiness.

When we arrive at school Roland lets me know he'll be back to pick us up, giving me a cheeky grin. Then I head for my first class while Jin goes to the main office for his schedule. As I suspected no one even noticed I was gone...except Sarah.

Her eyes widen as I walk into the chemistry room. She seems different. Paler. Unkempt. I give her an evil look which she returns with equal venom. I know she won't say anything, not unless she wants the world to know she tried to help her boyfriend rape me.

Walking past her I take my seat at the back of the class with clenched fists. Anger sears hot inside me over what that bitch did and I would love nothing more than to slap her in her pretty face.

Do it.

I shake my head. I can't get violent in the middle of the classroom.

Yes, you can.

"You're awful," I mutter.

And you are talking to yourself.

Damn, you.

Just saying. Only crazy people talk to themselves.

I probably am crazy.

Thankfully, the rest of the class is oblivious to my internal conversation, chattering softly. But all talking ceases as Jin enters the room. I hear several girls gasp as he glances around, his dark eyes pinpointing on me. With his hands in his pockets he strides over to me casually, taking the empty seat next to me and propping his feet up on the table.

Immediately the class erupts into loud whispers.

"Who is he?"

"Is that her boyfriend?"

"No way, just look at him."

I slink down in my seat, wishing I could vanish into the floor.

My chemistry teacher, Mr. Whitmore, a man in his seventies with a hunched back and puffy white hair, walks into class. Pulling out a little card from his pocket, he says, "We have a new student..." he pauses, squinting down at the card, "Mr. Jin Grey." Looking up Mr. Whitmore glances around until he finds Jin. "Welcome. And we don't allow headphones in class, Mr. Grey."

The entire class turns around in their seats to stare at Jin. I huddle into myself, leaning away from Jin. I can only imagine how Jin feels. Like a bug under a microscope.

Jin frowns, but doesn't say a word. Instead he just stares poor Mr. Whitmore down until the old man says shakily, "But I'm sure we can make an exception..."

And that is how the first half of school goes. Jin never says a word, casually dismissing anyone who dares to approach him. He is in every one of my classes and at the end of each one he walks right beside me to the next. By the time the lunch bell rings the entire school is talking about me and the "new scary Asian guy".

So much for flying under the radar.

As we head for lunch Amber Tyler surprises me by stopping me in the hall. Frankly, she looks like shit. She's dressed in sweats and a baggy flannel shirt. Her dark hair is curly and frizzed and there are dark circles under her eyes. She definitely doesn't look like one of Sarah Young's entourage.

She gives a concerned look, her eyes red and tearful. "Abby...Abigail. I'm so h-happy you're okay." Wiping at tears she murmurs, "I thought...I'm so sorry."

As she starts to cry it hits me. Amber must have known, or at least suspected, what Sarah and Noah had planned. And I can't be mad at her. Not really. Amber is a nice person deep down. Nice, but...

Weak.

This time I don't argue that point with my wolf. Cupping Amber's shoulders I try to reassure her. "It's okay..."

"It's not okay," she all but cries. "I should have s-said something. I let that b-bitch control my w-whole life. If you were hurt..."

"Nothing happened," I lie.

She blinks up at me, her dark brown eyes haunted and unsure.

"Really," I say. "They weren't there so I left. And that was it."

"Really?" she hiccups.

"Yup." I cast Jin a nervous glance. He's leaning against a locker, watching quietly. "I've just been out sick."

"Oh, thank god," Amber sobs. "Noah went missing and when you didn't come back...I just thought the worst..."

"I'm fine, really."

She nods. "Okay." Wiping at more tears she gives me a watery smile. "I must look like shit. I'm going to go clean up." She gives me another smile before slinking away to the bathroom.

I let out a pent up breath. That could have been a disaster.

Ignoring the look Jin is giving me I start walking towards the cafeteria. "I'm starving."

Sitting down at an empty table by the windows I unpack my lunch. Jin sits across from me and just watches. Which is super unsettling.

Taking out my sandwich I offer him half. "Want some?"

He shakes his head and looks out one of the windows.

I shrug. At least I tried...

Not letting his mood get me down I happily eat the lunch Samuel packed me. Just as I'm finishing one of my classmates with thick glasses sitting crookedly on his nose and light unruly blonde hair walks shyly to the table. His white shirt is wrinkled and half- tucked into his corduroy pants, as if he pulled it right out of the laundry basket and dressed in a hurry.

It takes me a few seconds but then I recognize him as the boy that nearly tripped in the hallway as I was leaving school after Noah's invite.

He gives Jin a scared look before stammering nervously, "Hey, Abigail...um...I-I hope you're feeling better...?"

Giving him a reassuring smile I nod. "Yea, thanks."

"Great. That's...great. Um...you were assigned as my partner in history class while you were out..." Stopping he readjusts his glasses, then rushes out, "I just wanted to go over the project with you."

"Oh! Sure." I motion for him to sit down.

He gives Jin another nervous glance before taking a seat and pulling out several books from his bag. "So, I thought our report could be on the Civil War."

I nod. "Okay."

"Great. Um...I already did some research. I can give you my notes..." He digs around in his bag again, pulling out a beaten up looking notebook with papers sticking out at odd angels. "They're kind of messy," he admits sheepishly.

"That's no problem...uh..." Blushing slightly I admit, "I actually can't remember you name..." Damn, do I feel like such an ass.

How about Nerd Boy?

Shut up!

He shrugs. "Everyone forgets...It's Chris...Christopher, actually. Eagle. Christopher Eagle."

I blink, just holding back a giggle. Even the way he says his name is nerdy.

Told you.

"Sorry," I apologize. "I should be better about that. Everyone forgets my name too."

He nods with a small smile. "No problem." Raising a fist in the air he declares. "Us nameless people got to stick together."

I hear a sound. Like a snort. Staring over at Jin my mouth nearly drops. He's...smirking.

Raising a brow Jin gives me a look, as if daring for me to say something. Which I most certainly will not.

Clearing my throat, I turn back to Chris. "So, about this project?"

******

AN: What do all think of Christopher? I just love his character. He's so cute! Like a puppy.