AN: This chapter has Liam's POV. At first I was going to post them as bonus chapters but it just fits in so well with this part of the story and I think it's time for you all to get a glimpse inside his head.
The Alpha
Liam's POV
The rage.
White hot. Burning.
I can't snuff it out. It burns and burns.
She should be shreds!
My wolf's voice is laced with undeniable fury. It's a reflection of my own emotions. I would love nothing more than to make that happen.
You hesitated. Why?
Jin was faster.
Liar. You hide your true self.
I'm done hearing this. I try to force my wolf down, block him out, but he will not relent.
And Abigail? She went against your orders.
Abigail shouldn't have gone against me in front of the pack. It was foolish. So damn foolish. I warned her. Why must she constantly defy me? Why can't she understand?
A part of me knows she never will. She can't sense my emotions. She can never fathom just how violent my wolf is. How much I struggle to keep him at bay. To keep her safe.
It rips me apart. I want her to know me better than anyone. It's unfair and unnatural for me to feel her as I do and to not have her know me in kind. She should be the one to ease me, to understand me better than I do myself. But she can never mark me and I will never know that connection with her.
It's a painful realization.
I can't fault her for the way she was born. And I can't remain angry with her for standing against me. She doesn't understand. And a part of me enjoys her fire. She's normally so full of panic and anxiety. It's a welcome change in her when she gets angry.
What about the others? They defy your will.
They only wish to keep Abigail safe.
That is for us to do!
"They are keeping her safe from us!" I shout.
He doesn't respond, growling loudly. Running a hand through my hair I take a calming breath. My wolf is pacing, clawing, snarling to be free. His emotions are an assault on my mind. Furious one second. Hungry with lust the next. He want's blood. He wants to feel it dripping from his claws. Taste it on his tongue. And he wants his mate. Now. Right fucking now.
He isn't the only one. My body is throbbing for her. Burning. A flame I can't extinguish. Every moment of every day I yearn for her. There was no reprieve. No relief. Christ, I don't know how much longer I can stand it.
Even now Abigail haunts me. Her scent lingers in every corner of my room, in the air, in my bed...
This is wrong. All of it.
Seventeen.
She's seventeen-years-old. She's a child. A god damn child. Disgust makes my mouth taste bitter. I shouldn't want her as I do. It's perverted.
I grow tired of this. She is no child.
I will not be taken by my wolf's primitive notions. In his eyes Abigail is a woman, he would take her like a beast.
We are alpha. We take what we want.
I won't. No matter how much I desire her. Abigail's age aside I can't trust myself. Our kiss still haunts me. I remember every detail. Her taste, her need, the feel of her beneath me. So perfect. It overwhelmed me. I lost control for only a moment - just one - and I hurt her.
Staring down at my hands I clench my fists, my sharp claws glinting in the firelight. I can't take that risk again.
She was gone for one day and you had her pinned against the door.
How dare my wolf blame that on me. He was the one losing his god damn mind over the scent of other males on our mate.
You blame me? How weak.
Go to hell.
You will snap if this continues.
No. I can fight this desire. I'm not some animal controlled by my instincts.
If you will not claim her then let me rise.
And risk her death? Never.
That will not happen.
I snort, pacing an endless circle before the fireplace. I can't trust my wolf with Abigail. Not after what happened that night in the woods.
We didn't know. Her scent overwhelmed us.
A mistake that nearly killed Abigail. Never will I forget clutching her cold body to my chest as her blood flood hot from my bite. A normal werewolf would have healed all but instantly, would have even found pleasure in what I'd done. Abigail felt only pain.
Her suffering was my torture. Even my attempt to ease her only harmed her more. I could feel how sick the pain medication made her - and her distaste in me for forcing it on her as I did. I can't go through that again.
I know better now. I will be...gentle.
A demented laugh escapes my throat. Gentle? My wolf doesn't know the meaning of the word.
Damn you!
He howls with frustration. The sound echoes in my mind, blocking out all else. I feel him attempt to rise. My body shakes as I fight him back. My wolf is strong and wild. Dominant to the core. I know he would control me completely if I ever allowed it.
I refuse to bow to his will. I am the master.
"Stop. You would take her like an animal," I snarl.
I will not kill her.
I laugh again like a crazed maniac, shaking my head. He doesn't deny my words. I know damn well how my wolf likes to fuck. Abigail would be no exception. His lust for her was like nothing else I've ever known. He'd break her, rip her apart.
The very thought makes my stomach twist sickeningly. She's too small. Too fragile. I won't risk it. I won't let my wolf have her. Ever.
No!
My wolf slams against my mind, demanding freedom. I clench my jaw, my hand gripping the mantle of the fireplace. I feel the stone begin to crack under my fingers.
You make us suffer. You make her suffer.
I know that. I feel it. Abigail's pain is my pain. Our pain. And I despise it. I want to give her everything. I want her to be happy.
Happy? You forced her away from us.
"Enough," I snap. "You think I enjoy this?"
Do you?
He knows damn well that I don't. Abigail should be here with me. Always. My heart aches for her. The simple act of forcing her to sleep in another room nearly broke me. And Abigail wasn't stupid. She knew exactly what I was doing by giving her another bedroom - pushing her away. The look on her face in that moment was a knife in my heart.
I drop my head to my hands. I hate myself.
As you should.
A swift knock sounds at my bedroom door. I know who it is. Her natural scent is doused in some exotic perfume. My nose crinkles with distaste.
This one...
My wolf is back on the prowl, his rage increasing once more. As does my own. My fangs physically ache to tear her apart.
She knocks again. Loud. Demanding. The audacity of it. How dare she demand my attention? I am the alpha.
Reaching out with my mind I find Samuel. "My room. Now."
Samuel's response is swift and a little worried. "Yes, Alpha."
Stalking to my bedroom door I yank it open. Amelia is standing on the other end, a smile teasing her red lips. She's dressed in a black lace nightgown. It leaves nothing to the imagination and it's obvious why she's here.
"Alpha," she murmurs. There's a familiar gleam in her eyes and I can smell her desire through the dense layer of perfume.
Disgusting.
Not like Abigail. My mates scent is soft and enticing, just like her. It pulls me in, an irresistible temptation. And with every passing moment this woman taints the air, destroying any reminiscence of Abigail with her foul stench.
I want to kill her.
My wolf is in agreement. He's pacing within my mind, back and forth, aching to rip her limb from limb.
"What is it?" I bark.
My attitude goes either unnoticed or ignored. "Didn't you miss me?" Amelia pouts. Reaching out she trails a finger down my chest.
I glare at her. The very fact that she would even consider seducing me when she knows my wolf has chosen another is demeaning. Abigail would never be so brazen and selfish. "Why are you here?"
She smirks, stepping closer. So damn stupid. Has she no concept of the danger she's in? No instincts? "Isn't it obvious," she responds sweetly. "I'm here to please you, Alpha."
"What makes you think I want that?" I ask flatly.
She gazes up at me, unfazed. "That half-breed can't possibly give you what you need." Laughing softly, she twirls a lock of hair around her finger. It irritates me. This woman is neither coy nor innocent. "Besides, I know just how you like it. She could never handle you."
My back stiffens, a deep growl reverberating through my mind. My wolf is right on the edge. Samuel had better get here fast...
Amelia continues completely oblivious to my rage, "To think she dared to challenge me. If not for Jin-"
My anger reaches its limit. Before Amelia can blink I'm gripping her by the throat. I let my claws dig into her skin, feel her blood running hot over my fingers. "You damn fool," I grate. "You should be thankful Jin got to you first. Half a second more and it would have been me."
Her eyes widen. "But you said..."
I give her a rough shake. "Abigail is still mine!"
Understanding shines in her eyes. Now she can see it, just how high my wolf is in me. She begins to panic, tugging and clawing at my arm. I can scent her fear, mixing in with that horrid perfume. She doesn't even try to turn or fight back. She knows she won't win.
Pulling her close I let her see the violence in my eyes, my voice low and soft, "Half a second more, Amelia, and you would have been pieces. Half a second more and they would still be cleaning up the blood."
"Alpha," she chokes.
I clench my fist, cutting off her air supply. "If you ever make a move towards Abigail again there'll be nothing left of you. Understand?"
Amelia nods, struggling to expose her neck. She's giving me her submission but I don't release her. My hand tightens and tightens...
She was going to kill Abigail. Take what is mine.
Kill her.
"Alpha!" Samuel rushes over, his hand reaching out and grabbing my shoulder. "She submits."
Do not care. Kill her.
"Alpha," Samuel murmurs, squeezing my shoulder. "You are the master. Not your wolf." His words - though soft and barely audible - cut through my haze. This is why I always call Samuel when my wolf is too high in me. He has a strange effect on werewolves, an ability to calm them, reach them on another level. His old pack feared him for it. I was thankful. He's pulled me back from the edge more times than I can count.
Hissing in a deep breath I release Amelia, smirking as she collapses to the floor and gasps for air.
"Leave, Amelia," Samuel orders.
"Yes, beta," she croaks, struggling to her feet and retreating with her head bowed.
I storm back into my room, snatching up a glass and a decanter of whiskey. "I want her punished," I order harshly. "Severely."
Samuel nods. "Yes, Alpha." He enters my room cautiously, keeping a safe distance. "Are you in control?"
"Lucky for her," I snarl around my glass. "And for you," I add pointedly.
Samuel hikes his chin. It's a bold move, especially with my wolf so damn close to breaking free. "I will not deny my queen."
I glare at him sideways. "She is not your queen."
Taking a seat in a chair by the fireplace Samuel rests one leg over the other and gives me a long look. Crap, I know what this means. He's gone into therapist mode.
"Why do you refuse to accept her?" Samuel asks.
Sitting across from him I take a deep gulp of my drink. I don't have to answer, but I value Samuel's opinion, as I do with all my beta's. Even if it pisses me off when they defy me. "You know why."
"You don't give a shit what the other packs think, nor do you follow their archaic beliefs." His hazel eyes shine knowingly. "We are a pack that defies the norm at every turn. Why would having a half-breed queen make any difference?"
I remain silent, staring him down.
Samuel cocks his head thoughtfully. "It doesn't, no? Denying Abigail has nothing to do with protecting the pack."
"It does," I state simply.
"You're lying, Alpha," Samuel replies with a stern edge to his voice.
"I should punish you for questioning me," I threaten.
"But you won't because I'm right." Crossing his arms, he thinks for a moment. "You're doing this to protect Abigail."
My nostrils flare with irritation. "You're pushing it."
He ignores me. "You know rival packs will target her if you announce her as queen."
I don't respond, turning my head away.
"And you know she can't defend herself. We would protect her," Samuel states firmly.
"How?" I scoff with a cruel laugh. "You saw how she reacted when I tried to keep her out of school. Abigail desires freedom. How can I give her what she wants and protect her every moment of every day?"
"You should tell her this." He looks at me directly. "You should tell her everything. You're only harming her further."
I give him a look as if he's gone insane. "Are you out of your fucking mind? She had a panic attack the first day I met her. I told her she was a werewolf and she went into shock. What do you think will happen when she finds out the rest?"
"You're trying to shield her and I understand why," Samuel replies gently. "But you can't wrap her in a protective bubble forever. There will be a day when she witnesses your true nature for herself. If not for Jin she would have seen it today in the dining room, yes?"
I clench my jaw. This bastard.
He speaks the truth.
That pisses me off even more.
Samuel continues despite the anger rolling off me in waves, "There is no way in hell you would have ever allowed Amelia to harm Abigail. Yet, you made her believe that you would. That you didn't care."
I don't miss the hint of frustration in his voice over my behavior. "She can't get close to me."
"She can't help but get close to you. Every instinct pushes her to you." His brows furrow with worry. "Your current course of action is causing your mate serious harm. You know this. You feel it."
"You think I want this?" I all but yell, my hand tightening around my class until it begins to crack. "It goes against my every instinct. But it's the only way I can protect her."
"From rival packs?"
"From me!" It was seeded deep within, the instinct to protect my mate. I would protect her above all others. From anything. Even from myself.
Samuel's face flashes with an emotion I don't recognize. Sadness or maybe pity. "She will find this all out eventually." He pauses before informing me slowly, "She knows the wolves can communicate among each other."
Damn it.
"All I'm saying, Alpha," Samuel offers carefully, "is you should consider another approach. This isn't working. She's suffering and you know it. She thinks you hate her. And she hates you for it. That must be painful for you?"
"You have no idea," I drawl. Every time she spoke the words my heart shattered.
"Keep pushing her away and you will push too far," Samuel warns.
My eyes narrow. I'm done. "I get it."
"There's also the day you snap and claim her fully," Samuel muses thoughtfully. "None have ever rejected their mate. The pull cannot be denied. It simply doesn't happen. Even you can't defy the bond."
I snarl at him, my patience reaching its limit. "What part of 'I get it' did you not understand?"
Samuel shrugs with a loud sigh. "Alight. I'm done." Standing he heads for the door, pausing to add over his shoulder, "By the way, Abigail is sleeping in your office."