24- Voices

Jimmy POV

(1 month later)

Can we kill him?

The voice in my head asked me. We were sitting in our kitchen and the voice was trying to taunt me to kill Jessica’s boy toy. I forgot his name.

‘No’ I said to her ‘let it go’

But he’s mean to us. He’s too cocky for his own good.

Can we rip his tongue out at least?

‘NO’ I thought ‘Shut up and leave me alone’

Party pooper

I sighed and concentrated on my coffee. It was the only thing that didn’t taste like cardboard beside blood. I looked around the table; nobody was paying attention to me just how I liked it. I knew that I had an expressionless face and body posture. They couldn’t know what was happening inside my mind and I was glad. They couldn’t know how much work it was to not follow the voices demands. She never stops talking like a constant buzzing in my ears that prevented me from completely understanding what was happening around me. I just hopped I had enough strength not to kill my family.

Stop that thought girl, you know I don’t kill family. And Siana, I don’t kill her. Hmm, she’s a great toy don’t you think?

Although, Daddy and his new son in law are starting to get on my deepest nerves.

‘Everyone gets on your nerves. And Siana is more than a toy, you know that’

I know, but where is the fun in admitting that, hmm?

By the way, not everyone gets on my nerve. Most people do though.

“Jamie” mom’s voice pierced through my conversation. “Are you ready for school?”

I nodded and started to clean my empty cup of coffee. I grabbed my bag and met my sisters outside. Mom was still nervous around me but I knew she wouldn’t throw me away. She was the one who understood best what I went through. Even my alter ego liked her.

Dad though, I didn’t really care about him. He has been trying, I’ll give him that. But it was already too late and he sometimes said things that were inappropriate. So I let him try, in hopes that I could meet him part way. Not as easy as it sounds.

And forget about Jessica’s mate. He has not spoken a word to me since the night of the massacre not to mention he barely looks at me. If it weren’t for my sister’s incomprehensible love for that idiot, I would have ended him a long time ago. Even I would have enjoyed poking his intestines with my fingers.

I’m bored

Why can’t we do anything fun during the day? We can be subtle about it.

I ignored her as best I could. We arrived at school later than usual and my sisters pushed me to walk faster so we wouldn’t be late for the first class. I didn’t even know what we had.

Who cares?

We arrived in class before the first bell rang and made our way to our seats. I sat between Siana and Jazzy in the back of the room. Siana smiled at me before giving the teacher her undivided attention.

Do you really listen this crap?  Boring.

I tried to ignore her annoying voice and listen to the teacher as much as I could. The problem was the teacher was not speaking loud enough to be heard over the voices. I was starting to get a headache for trying.

“Jimhaya Hundale” the teacher finally screamed though I didn’t understand why he said my name. “Care to answer the question?”

I looked on the board and found it was filled with equations. It was empty the last time I checked. I guess we were in math. Which one did he want me to answer?

Don’t answer, it’s a trick

Just kill him and we can get out of here. Come on, he’s ugly anyway.

I’m waiitingggg

You do know it-

Silence. I looked down and found Sianas hand on my leg. She looked worried, I think. I put my hand on hers and squeezed, showing her I didn’t want her to let go and I was able to answer the question.

Siana had no idea what she did for me. She didn’t know that she kept the voices away when she touched me. It used to be when I was around her but She is getting restless. Every time Siana was in physical contact with me, I could actually think normally.

The class dragged on and I ignored the teacher. I was listening to the silence, enjoying it as much as I could before the voice came back. The loud bell brought me back from my dreamlike state and Siana let go of my leg.

That was not cool, girl

‘Leave me alone’ I told her but she only laughed in my face.

And where would the fun be in there, hmmm?

I walked down the hallway, beside my sisters. Siana had left. I think she told me where she was going but I didn’t understand what she had said. Someone bumped into me while I was going to my next class.

“Watch it freak” the boy said.

Ohohoh, so sweeeeeet. New meat. Let’s have him for lunch. She started laughing. I hated when she laughed. It was so loud I couldn’t hear anything else.

I must have looked at him blankly because he spoke again. I watch his lips opening and closing, but the words never reached my ears.

One bite, please, just one bite and I will leave you alone for now

It was tempting. She knew what she was doing to me and I would have done what she asked of me yet again just have five minutes of silence but my sisters had other ideas. They shielded me with their bodies and ganged up on the boy. He was scared shitless by the time they finished with him and started apologising. I think.

I grabbed Jazzy’s hand and the voices dimmed into a whispered tone. Jazzy almost had the same effect as Siana but I could still here Her speaking to me. We walked away to our lockers and Siana was waiting for us. She and my sisters started talking animatedly while I came up to her and dropped my forehead on her back. There it was again, the silence.

“Jimmy what-

Putting my fingers on her lips, without looking I might add, and shushed her. I motioned her to continue with the conversation and concentrated on the vibrations of her body every time she spoke. It was a weird sensation but everything about Siana was alive. That’s what I liked about her: she finds the positive in everything and I have no idea how she does that.

The headache started to fade until the bell rang again. Remind me to destroy that thing later.

Why? I enjoy the sound of the bell. It means I get to talk to you again.

Do you know how bored I get every time you shut me out? EXTREMLY

How about you break that girl’s arm there? Just one arm. It will be fun

I looked at the girl she was talking about. She was average, looked inoffensive and had nothing to do with us.

It’s her nose the problem. Her nose! Why had I not thought of that?

Rip her Nose off, now that would be awesome.

God, why couldn’t she leave me alone?

You can’t get rid of me little girl, you and I are one. Together to the end

I started drumming my fingers on my thighs, trying to block her out. My body was on autopilot and walked to our destination as I spent all of my attention on trying to keep control. She was trying to ride in the driver’s seat. I stopped once we arrived at the door of our second class of the day.

“Jamie, are you ok?” Jessica asked

“I need to go” I said before teleporting myself out of the school. I landed in front of the Golden Fist in the Underground city. She had won again.

Finally. It was about time you brought us here. She said happily with a woot.

I walked into the fighting club and tried to find Cameron. The club was mostly empty because it was not night time yet and the best fights weren’t scheduled until later. My body was shaking and my fingers wouldn’t stop drumming on my thighs. She was impatient.

When we found Cameron by the bar, we sped towards him and stopped inside his personal space.

“I need- I need someone bad, right now” I manage to say in a shaky voice.

I can’t wait. Ask him for a man so we could play with him

“I have a pedophile that killed eleven girls” Cameron said uncertainly. He knew not to question us “Is that enough for you?”

“We need to play” we said.

He club owner looked at us and he knew. He always knew.

“I will bring him to the torture room. Go, I don’t want you up here any longer”

We nodded and sped our way behind the employee’s door. There was a hidden entrance that only few people knew. She started to laugh.

I love the torture room. The smell is so titillating.

I felt our body shiver in anticipation. I didn’t want to be here, I hated the torture room. Cameron came down with the pedophile.

Oh look at him girl, look at all that flesh. What are we going to do with him?

Please not dissection, please not dissection.

I know, I know. We will cut him into forty- one pieces plus rip all of his teeth. We will keep him alive the entire time. This is going to be thrilling

I looked at Cameron and he had a dark expression. He was not happy. I nodded and he led his men out of the room. The second he locked the door, I let her take control. I could finally relax in the passenger seat while she moved our body to her liking. I blocked myself from the screams and the sight and enjoy the darkness surrounding me.

-          41 pieces and 32 teeth later –

She let me take control hours later. She was satisfied.

Man that was fulfilling. I’m exhausted

I leaned on the wall for support. My body and my mind were tired. I took a few minutes to remember how to move and how to think. Being in the darkness for too long can make me forget who I am.

I left the body where it was and went to the shower on the other side of the room.  The water was cold but my body was numb enough I couldn’t feel it. I washed the blood off of me and my clothes before closing the tap and making my way out of the room.

She has been silent since she let me take control. She’s probably sleeping because her needs were satisfied.

I walked out of the club but I felt Cameron’s eyes on me. He knew. I ignored him and teleported myself back home. It was four o’clock, school must a just finished. The parents were not home yet.

I stayed in my room looking at the wall in front of me when I heard Jazzy walk in. She kneeled between my legs and wrapped her arms around my stomach. She rested her head on my belly and inhaled my sent. I didn’t bother hugging her back. When she looked up, she had sadness in her eyes. Cameron must have told her.

“Why aren’t you getting better?” she asked me.

“I don’t know”

“I thought you could block the voices out” she said stroking my cheeks. I shrugged.

“She’s restless. And the nightmares came back”

Jazzy took a deep breath, trying to figure something out. She always wanted to fix things. I wonder how long she’s going to try before she figures out I’m a lost cause.

I leaned my head on her shoulder and whispered “I’m so tired Jazzy. I just want to sleep”

Jazzy brought my head up and put two fingers on my forehead. She whispered an incantation and my eyes started close and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

“Everything is going to be fine” I heard my sister say before the world disappeared.

No it wouldn’t.

(A little insight in Jimmy's mind and what she struggles with every day)