33- Out of Mind

“When I heard that my favorite student had change attitude over night, I had to come see for myself” Mrs. Adams said to Jimhaya and I.

We were sitting in her office after the dance practice which ended sooner than usual due to the fact that the teacher didn’t want to teach after he was choked by his student. Who can blame him? Anyway here we were now.

“I would like to have a session with you if you wouldn’t mind” Mrs. Adams continued “I am a curious woman and your mind is quite a puzzle. I want to see if you being in charge of the body changes anything to your mind”

“No problem, but I want you to bring Siana in too” She wanted me to do what now?

“I don’t know, it is quite dangerous to bring some else inside another’s mind, if she gets stuck-“

“She won’t” Jimhaya said with determination “We will be there”

“All right” Mrs. Adams reluctantly said. She beckoned me to sit beside them so we were in a triangle. “Siana, I’m sure you remember the meditation process of this ritual correct?” I nodded “Good, I want you to hold my and Jimhaya’s hand. That is good. I want you to close your eyes and relax. It won’t hurt. Now, here is the situation, whatever happens in there, you have to remember you are not part of it. I am your anchor to the real life therefor if you hear my voice, listen to it because it means you are losing yourself. And whatever happens, do not get lost. You must come back the way you came in is that understood” I nodded again “Good luck”

I closed my eyes and let myself relax in a mediated state. I heard the teacher say an incantation before everything went quiet.

I felt nothing at first. Frowning, I was not sure if it worked so I took a peek. Yup, it worked all right. I was standing in a forest clearing.  Mrs. Adams and Jimhaya were no longer there. The clearing was bright and alive with flowers and plants growing and a little stream passed ahead. When I looked up, the sky was dark and full of stars lighting the way. The contrast between the ground daylight and the dark sky surprised me but confirmed that I was in Jimhaya’s mind and everything was an illusion.

I frowned. There was something unsettling here that was making my hair on my arm rise. It was as I stood up that I noticed everything was frozen and empty. There were no animals and no wind. The water in the stream was not moving hence making no noise. I bent a lily with my finger and the flower stayed bent.

“I wouldn’t disturb the peace if I were you” I jumped in surprise and turned around to see jimhaya smiling at me. She tore her eyes away and looked around and waved her hand “Do you like it? We thought a nice place like this would be a good transition”

“It’s nice” I said without gazing away from her beautiful body. Jimhaya was wearing a black gown to her knees and she was not wearing any shoes. Her dark brown hair fell down her back in a natural flow. She held out her hand.

I walked towards her and placed my hand in hers where it belonged. She turned around and together we walked ahead. “Beware where you put your feet because they will show you the way back” she told me. Jimahay was very calm, like the clam before a storm and I knew I was not afraid. I knew I was safe because she was there.

Quite soon in our journey, the warm grass slowly disappeared and replaced with hard cold stone. The clearing had become a mountain. Not far away, where there was no more grass, was a slim figure. It was blurry and I had to quint hard to see it was a person. A lump formed in my throat afraid to know who was there. Jimhaya tugged my hand forward and smiled reassuringly at me but they never reached her eyes.

We got closer to the figure and I managed to identify her as Jimmy. Something was wrong. She was almost transparent, like a ghost. Her eyes were empty and sad. She was staring into space as she sat on the ground motionless. She only had a white dress on.

I took a step forward and the air suddenly became cold and my sharp breath could be seen in puffs. Light dimmed to darkness.

“She’s fading” Jimhaya said behind me. I could feel her heat on my back and it gave me a comfort that I was not alone here.

“What do you mean?” I asked never taking my eyes off Jimmy.

“She’s fading out of existence. Her soul is dying. If she was alone in her body, she would have died of some physical or psychological defect. But the beast and I kept her alive and it’s draining her life away. Touch her”

I turned around and stared in confusion at Jimhaya.

“Touch her, it will do her so much good”

Hesitantly I raised my fingers that weren’t clutch to Jimhaya and slowly brought them to Jimmy. I didn’t think it would work since she did not look tangible but the moment my hand laid on her shoulder it became solid along with the rest of her body. Jimmy took a deep breath as if she had been under water for a long time. She blinked her eyes and a little life found their way back in them. I kept my grip on her shoulder firm because I was afraid that she would disappear again.

“What the- what are you doing here?” Jimmy asked when she saw me. When she saw Jimhaya behind me she growled “You brought her here?” When Jimhaya didn’t answer, Jimmy scoffed before going on her feet. I hugged her tightly with my free arm and she returned it.

“Hey” I said with a smile. It was crazy how worried I was of her and how I had missed her. I hate to be the clingy one but I couldn’t help it when it came to my lover. Jimmy smiled at me softly gazing at me with her blue eyes. I missed her blue eyes I decided.

Jimhaya coughed behind us. “As much as this reunion is revoltingly cute we need to get going. The faster we get Angel out of here the better”

“What is it that you want to show me?” I asked them. Jimhaya pointed the top of the mountain where darkness lurked around.

“The beast” Jimmy answered.

We resumed our journey to the top, as cliché as it sounds. Jimmy was leading the way and Jimhaya was bringing up the rear. Both my hands were securely gripping each of the girls. I could feel the darkness trying to penetrate me and take control. I could hear it calling me to them but the girls were preventing me of following it. They reminded me of where I was and who I was.

We reached the top in what seemed like hours but I was nowhere near out of breath. There was a crater in the middle of the mountain and what lived there cut my breath short. Sleeping in the pit was a giant beast. It was pure black and the light around it seemed to be absorbed by it. It looked about twelve feet tall and eight feet wide. I could see its huge paws resting under its head. The claws were about six inches long. The head was massive and it had a muzzle. Its eyes were closed and I didn’t even have to see its teeth to know they were about four inches long. Black chains surrounded its entire body and attached themselves around metal links anchored to the stones walls.

“That thing lives inside of you?” I whispered. I didn’t trust my voice at the moment.

“Yup” both girls replied.

“This is what happens when you can’t control the hunger inside you” Jimhaya said.

“It grows until it takes more space in your soul than you can afford” Jimmy finished.

I took a step closer to properly see the bottom. I felt the girls tighten their grip on my hands and I could barely hear their warning. Something was intriguing about the way the beast’s chest was raising up and down. It was captivating but I leaned too close. A small rock fell from under my feet and went tumbling down the crater and hitting the beast on its nose.

“What did you do?” Jimhaya growled beside me. “I told you not to disturb anything”

I didn’t understand. I felt Jimmy pulling me away from the ravine. I was about to turn until I saw it open its eyes. I froze in my tracks as the giant red eyes stared at me like I was prey.

“We have to move now” Jimmy yelled at me breaking the eye contact. I turned around and sprinted behind Jimmy and down the mountain. I heard a shrill shriek coming from the pit and then a crash. I flinched but continued running down.

“Don’t look back” Jimhaya yelled from behind me. We arrived at the grass line before both Jimhayas’ stopped and turned around.

“What are you doing?” I screamed as I stopped. Jimmy came beside me and took my hand.

“The beast woke up and it’s not happy. You shouldn’t have come here” I loud roar erupted from the mountain.

“Look at me” I turned my head to my lover. I was panting and my heart was pumping so fast I had trouble breathing. “Whatever you do, don’t look back. Follow your footsteps and make sure you don’t step out. Mrs. Adams will get you out only if you make it to the clearing. And no matter what, don’t listen to the voices, they will try to drag you into the darkness but they can’t hurt you unless you let them” she gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

“What about you?”

“I will be okay, this is my mind after all” she smiled sadly before moving towards Jimhaya. The red eyed girl gave me a salute and a smirk and turned around to face whatever was coming.

I turned around and started running again but this time without the girls’ protection. I felt things brushing against my skin but I couldn’t see anything. The darkness had surrounded my view but I made sure to keep my eyes on my trail. My footsteps were emitting a yellow light which gave me some reassurance that I was going the right direction.

Siana.

Come Siana, we won’t hurt you

Come play

I heard the voices circling me but nobody was there. I could feel my heart beat and my trembling hands. ‘Don’t give in’ I thought repeatedly.

Let’s play Angel

It’s nice here

Jimmy’s voice whispered in my ear. I swapped my hand to my ear to try and get rid of the voice but I just heard them laughing.

Naughty, naughty Angel

I was having trouble finding my trail as everything was getting darker then I heard an explosion behind me. Startled I looked behind me; biggest mistake in my life. Masked heads floated before my eyes each with different expressions. I screamed in fear as they flew through me. I felt their presence in my body as they tried to take control and push me into the darkness.

“Keep going” I faintly heard Jimmy’s voice. With much needed strength, I opened my eyes, which I was not aware of their closing and continued my way to the clearing. I could see the faces beside me, talking and laughing but I wouldn’t give in. I was suffocating.

I opened my wings in an attempt to bring light so I could breathe. “Oh light of my past, present and future; come to me for I call you. Come”

Light emerged from my being giving me just enough to see where I was going. The voices screeched but I ignored them. Then I heard one voice that made me stop in my tracks.

Ana? What are you doing Ana?

Stop hurting yourself. Come with me

Please, I will take care of you, I promise

My mother’s voice echoed in my head. She was the only one who called me Ana.

I will take care of you

Tears fell down my face. I missed my mother. I missed her so much it hurt me. I remembered when my mother would always promise to protect me, to take care of me. I have not heard her voice in since I was a child and brought back so many memories.  At that moment, I frankly did not care the caressing touch I felt on my cheek or the fact that I couldn’t see anymore. I let myself drown in the sweetness of my mother’s embrace.

Suddenly, something slammed into me throwing me in the air. I landed on the ground with a thud and lost my breath for a moment. When I regained oxygen, I noticed that the touches were gone and the voices had dimmed. I opened my eyes and found myself face to face with a deformed wolf head. Its eyes were bright red and the pupils were staring at me. Its teeth were almost five inches long. The wolf snarled at me reminding me of the danger. I crawled backwards and it followed me without breaking eye contact.

My hand touched something but I didn’t dare to see what it was. I felt skin. I closed my eyes shut as the beast pounced on me but it never made contact. I slowly opened my eyes and noticed that I was back into Mrs. Adams office. Jimhaya had replaced the beast position as she was crouched in front of me. Her hands were resting by my hips and her crouched legs were in between mine. This was not Jimhaya. It was the beast who had taken control.

“Don’t make a move” I heard Mrs. Adams say behind me and squeezed my hand. Her hand was the object I had grabbed with when the beast pounced.

I was dizzy, and my breath came in short puffs. Black dots covered my sight and everything was a blur but I could still see the beast moving forward slowly. When it was inches from my face, she tilted her head and sniffed me. I closed my and stayed frozen in place but I had an odd feeling that she was not going to hurt me. Once she was done sniffing me, I felt it lick just above my top lip and my eyes burst open in surprised. The beast passed a thumb under my nose and came out with blood. I blinked a couple of times hoping I was dreaming but the beast, in Jimmy’s body, cocked her head to the side a murmured a single word before my world fell into darkness.

“Mine”