CHAPTER 19

JULIA

5 Days 'til Christmas Eve

Penny pours us both coffee, setting my mug down with a flourish.

"You're lucky I'm not interrogating you right away," she says, sliding into the seat across from me. "But you've been fidgeting with your scarf for the past five minutes, and that's a dead giveaway."

I freeze, forcing my hands to stay still in my lap. I'm not trying to give myself away, but Penny knows me too well.

"I'm fine. Really."

Her eyebrows arch. "Julia, you're a terrible liar. What's going on?"

I take a sip, stalling for time while I search for the right words. My heart thuds like a drum in my chest. I can't keep this bottled up forever, and Penny won't let me leave until I spill the beans, anyway.

"Kyle and I..." My voice falters, unable to speak it out loud.

Penny leans forward, her eyes wide. "Oh, my god. You spent the night with him, didn't you?"

The heat rises in my cheeks, and I glance toward the door as if someone might overhear us. "Keep your voice down!"

Her grin widens, like she's really enjoying my discomfort. "I knew something was different with you two. So, spill. How was it?"

"It was..." I pause, shrugging as though the nonchalance will stick. "Fine."

"Fine?" Penny's jaw drops dramatically, looking at me like I've just insulted her wedding cake. "Julia, you're practically glowing. 'Fine' doesn't cause that."

My laughter is awkward and fleeting. "It wasn't meant to be serious. Just a casual, one-off thing."

Penny's teasing expression softens. "But it does mean something, doesn't it?"

My coffee swirls aimlessly, mirroring the chaos in my mind. "I don't know. It's different with him."

Her gaze sharpens, latching onto my uncertainty like a hawk spotting prey. "How so?"

I take a shaky breath, feeling the words caught in my throat. "He's not like the others I've dated. I didn't expect anything like this with Kyle. We bicker, we tease-it's always been easy keeping things light. But now... I can't stop thinking about him."

Penny leans back in her chair, crossing her arms. "And that scares you."

"Of course it does!" My emotions erupt, spilling out without restraint. "It was supposed to be simple. A fling. No strings. But he's..." My chest tightens. "He's not supposed to matter."

Penny tilts her head, studying me like she's piecing a puzzle together. "But he does matter?"

I want to deny it, but there's no point. "It's not just that, Pen." My voice cracks as I grip the edge of my scarf. "It's weird, isn't it? I mean, he's your ex. Doesn't that bother you?"

"Julia, for the hundredth time, no. It's ancient history. Kyle and I broke up two years ago because it wasn't right between us, and we both knew it."

"But-"

"No 'but,'" she interrupts firmly, yet her tone is kind. "I'm marrying Chase in five days, Julia. The love of my life. Kyle was never meant to be my person." She pauses, a sly smile curling. "But maybe he's meant to be yours."

Her words hit me like a sucker punch, and I shake my head, desperate to push the thought away. "I don't know if I can give him what he wants."

"Why not?"

"Because..." My voice catches. "Because what if I lose myself? What if I let him in, and it's not enough? What if I ruin everything-not just with him, but with... with you and Chase, your wedding?"

Penny's expression softens further, her hand reaching across the table to cover mine. "Jules, you've always been so fiercely independent. It's one of the things I love about you. But being with someone doesn't mean you lose who you are. The right person will love you for you-not for what they can change about you."

Her words chip away at the walls I've spent years building, yet my doubts remain tenacious. "I don't even know how to let someone in without feeling like I'm losing control."

"Maybe that's something worth figuring out. And Kyle, he's a patient man. If anyone can help you figure it out, it's him."

Penny's words repeat in my head. What if she's right? What if this is worth the risk?

Even as I leave, I still can't shake her words, or the realisation that I've been running from something I might already want.

Because deep down, I know the truth. The fear isn't that Kyle might matter.

It's that he already does.