10 - I need you

Clarke woke up and felt a strong arm around her. Then she recalled the previous evening. How they went on a date and kissed after it. How Clarke couldn't fell asleep, thinking about Lexa. How she ended up sleeping next to her.

She could feel Lexa's steady breath on her neck. Lexa had her head buried into Clarke's neck. Clarke didn't want to wake up her, so she decided to lay still. Especially, because she couldn't move. That's how tight Lexa was holding her.

And then she felt on her neck opening eyes and smirk. She turned to see Lexa smiling.

"Good morning," Lexa said. Her raspy voice sent shivers down Clarke's spine. Lexa was still holding her.

"Good morning," Clarke answered, also smiling.

Lexa looked at Clarke's lips and slowly leaned to kiss her. Clarke closed her eyes and got closer. The kiss was soft and short. Clarke was the one who pulled away. Lexa followed Clarke's lips, but Clarke only laughed at that.

Lexa took her arm off of Clarke and as Clarke was standing up, Lexa's alarm started ringing.

"We should probably get ready," Clarke said and went to the bathroom. Lexa was just staring at her, with a happy grin. Clarke disappeared in her room, then came back to the bathroom, only in her T-shirt and pants. Lexa blushed hard at it, and also stood up, then changed into some clothes.

"You know, I wouldn't sleep so well without you," Lexa said, as both of them were washing their teeth, and she looked at Clarke in the mirror. The blonde only blushed ai it and smiled at Lexa. "I don't remember the last time I woke up with the alarm."

"You know... you didn't wake up with the alarm. One minute before it," Clarke teased her, nudging her.

Lexa rolled her eyes, and Clarke laughed at it.

They got ready in the next ten minutes. Clarke put some jeans, and then went to Lexa's room, the brown-haired followed. Clarke looked around it and found, what she was looking for on one of the armchairs.

She put Lexa's hoodie on, and turned around to face, surprised, but satisfied Lexa.

"I think it suits you," Lexa muttered, and stepped closer to Clarke putting her hands on Clarke's hips. She leaned into a quick kiss, and both of them headed downstairs.Abby was sitting there, looking at something on her phone. When she heard them, she looked at them, smiling.

"Good morning, girls," she nodded at them, then noticed Clarke's sweatshirt. "Clarke, is that your hoodie?"

Lexa smiled proudly and started saying. "It's-"

"Mine. It's mine," Clarke interrupted her. Lexa only looked at her confused. It hurt her, but she hid it well. "I bought it. Some time ago." Clarke didn't look at Lexa again this morning.

They ate breakfast. Abby tried to talk with them, but they were answering only by some mutters. After it, they went to Clarke's car. Inside it, when the door closed, Clarke immediately looked at Lexa and said:

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Lexa nodded. But it wasn't fine for her.

"No. It's not. And I'm really, really sorry."

"Clarke, it really is okay," she looked at Clarke's not convinced face. "It's fine," she laughed. Clarke also nodded and drove away. Under school, they noticed Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, and Luna, sitting together. As Clarke was next to Lexa, Lexa took her hand, but Clarke harshly ripped it off and looked shocked at Lexa.

"What, are you doing?!" she shouted-whispered.

Lexa opened her mouth to answer but then shut it. She pinned her now much more hurt look to the ground and walked away to the other side. Clarke only looked before her, with huge regret. She wanted to walk to her, turned her, and kissed her. But she didn't. She fought this urge and again looked at the bunch of her friends.

Now Bellamy noticed her. He waved at her. She answered the same and headed to them.

This day lasted, what felt like forever for Clarke. After all the periods, Clarke waited for Lexa on the parking lot. She waited there for five minutes, then ten, then twenty. But Lexa didn't show up. Clarke slowly drove away to home. But no one was there. She had literally no idea, where

Lexa could go. So she did something, what she wasn't doing, for a really long time.

She took her notebook out and started drawing. As usual, she didn't know what she was doing until it was done. She lost the time, as she was drawing strong jawline, big arms, soft lips, gorgeous green eyes, that were stalking her, all day, even though she didn't know that.When it was done, she looked at it. It was Lexa. She drew her in dark colors, and only her green as forest eyes were colorful.

Clarke decided to check if maybe Lexa was in her room. But she wasn't. Clarke was still the only person in this house. She took off Lexa's hoodie. Once again she smelt Lexa's scent, then put it on Lexa's bed. And on this hoodie, Clarke put her drawing.

Clarke didn't know what she could tell Lexa. So, she thought that maybe this would change something.

Clarke was a mess right now. And she didn't know how she was supposed to deal with it. She wished that she could talk about it with someone. With anyone.

Clarke made her homework, took a long shower, that was supposed to be relaxing. It wasn't, though. Again, she checked on Lexa's room, to find only a disappointment. She fell asleep, resigned.

The next morning she was woken up, harshly. Lexa walked into Clarke's room, without knocking, and looked at her. She was angry, really angry. She gave Clarke a stare, that immediately set Clarke up.

She looked at Lexa as apologetic as she could. Then she noticed what Lexa was holding.

"What, the hell, is that?!" Lexa screamed at Clarke, showing her the painting Clarke drew yesterday. On Lexa's high voice, Clarke jumped. She has never heard Lexa screaming.

"Lexa. I'm sorry," Clarke whispered. She wanted to step closer. But she didn't. She was just standing there, like some straight sculpture.

"You are sorry? You have no right, to be sorry!" Lexa scrunched the painting, and throw it on Clarke's bed. Then took a few steps closer to Clarke, pointing at her. Clarke backed a little. "We kissed!" At that Clarke looked at her shocked, and scared at the open door, searching for Abby. "Abby is not here!" Lexa screamed, turning Clarke's attention back on her. "We kissed! Then you went to my bed! You even put my hoodie on! And after that, first, you lied to your mother, then when I just wanted to hold your hand, you took it away. Looking at me, like I was some trash!" A lonely tear streamed down Lexa's cheek, but she angrily whipped it out.

"Lexa-" Tears started forming in Clarke's eyes.

"What?! You're ashamed of me?"

"No!" Tears started streaming. "Of course not! You are the best person, I have ever met!" Clarke for a moment looked at her shoes, then back at Lexa. "It's not about you."

"It's not you, it's me? Really?"

"It's really is me! I'm scared, okay? All of it, it's just new for me. I never thought that I would feel something to another girl." Clarke tried to take Lexa's hand. Unsuccessfully. Lexa only backed a little, leaving Clarke under the wall. "I'm scared. Of what my mom, or friends, would say. I'm scared-" the last sentence, she whispered, looking at Lexa.

"What do you want me to say, Clarke?" The anger was still noticeable in Lexa's eyes. "I'm scared, too. I'm opening to you. Showing you, my flaws, my defects. I'm trying, to feel something again. I'm becoming fully vulnerable. You become my weakness! I see a chance, for real life. And then you--you throw me away. Like I mean nothing."

"You don't mean nothing!" Clarke looked shocked at Lexa. How could she even think that?

"Well, you're acting like that."

"I just need some time, okay?" Clarke stepped closer and took Lexa's face. This time, she didn't move away. She just looked at Clarke with tears in her eyes. "I need time. To tell my mom. To tell my friends. To tell it myself. To fully understand that," Lexa nodded, and looked down, with pain and understand. Clarke took Lexa's chin, to make her, look at her. "And I need you! I need you, to be here, for me. I need you, to help me understand that." Clarke whipped out the tears, that were on Lexa's cheek. "Will you help me?" she smiled hopefully at her. Lexa nodded.

Their lips again connected after, what felt like forever, for both of them. Lexa gently pulled away and rested her forehead on Clarke's.

"I will wait for you, Clarke."

"Thank you," Clarke nodded and hugged her, as tight as she could.

She held her and promised herself to never let her go.

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