Chapter 15 - Why Am I Here? Pt. 2

Evander

I followed after Aaron silently, confused by his actions. Why wasn't he telling me what I did wrong? Did I even do anything to upset him? I wouldn't be able to know unless he told me.

I heard Aubrey greet Aaron and the other didn't even answer. Aubrey's bright smile fell a bit and it made me speak up. "Don't dump your issues with me onto Aubrey, Aaron."

"Issues? What's going on?" Aubrey asked, rightfully confused and slightly hurt.

Aaron didn't answer and slammed the bathroom door shut, leaving Aubrey and me in silence. I sighed in frustration, running a hand through my hair. One moment I feel like we were making a proper connection and the next he's withdrawn and running away. "What happened to you two? Why is Aaron upset?" Aubrey asked me quietly.

"I do not know. We were talking and I leaned in to kiss him. He suddenly stood up and started talking about leaving. I fear that I scared him away," I admitted.

I walked over to sit on the bed, looking at Aubrey carefully to gauge his reaction.

"He ran away from a kiss?" He asked carefully.

"That's what it seemed like to me, yes. He also mentioned needing to talk to both of us about something. I'm not sure what, though. Perhaps that also influenced his actions."

Aubrey bit his lip. "I'm sure Aaron didn't mean to be rude," he offered up in defense of the other.

"Even if his intentions weren't that, he was still harsh. He didn't need to pull you into our issues," I told him.

He blushed lightly and nodded, looking down at the sheets. "I'm sorry if you feel hurt or anything," I added carefully.

"I'm not hurt," he said quickly, looking up at me with wide green and brown eyes.

"Good. Now, what do you think we should do now?"

We both turned to look at the closed bathroom door. It was dead silent. I still felt that anger and frustration welled up inside me from what just transpired. Why couldn't Aaron communicate with us and explain what had gone wrong? Were we not all adults here?

"Maybe we should give him some space," Aubrey suggested. "He looked really upset. Do you think...do you think he doesn't like us anymore?"

I was taken aback by Aubrey's words. "What? Why do you think that?"

"Well, I don't know. He can be really distant sometimes. Like he's afraid. And with what just happened, what if he doesn't like us? What if he doesn't feel the mate bond as strongly as I do?"

Tears formed in his eyes and I reached out to catch one that fell from his lovely brown eye. Scooting closer, Aubrey crawled into my lap, allowing me to run my hand through his curls comfortingly. The sweet scent of his blood quickly filled my senses. "I'm sure he cares about us as much as you do. It's been such a short period of time since we all met. Maybe he just feels a bit shy."

"Maybe," he whispered. "I don't feel like you guys are strangers, though. Maybe it's because I'm a nymph, but my feelings for you two are so strong already and I'm worried they won't be returned."

Reaching down to lift his chin, I offered a gentle smile. "I do care. Even if I'm not compelled by the bond yet like you two are, I still feel that attraction that ties us all together. You have nothing to fear, Aubrey," I whispered.

He gave me a watery smile. "Thank you, Evander."

We sat like that for a bit, Aubrey leaned against my chest as I continued to play with his soft hair when we heard a knock at the door. I put Aubrey down onto the bed and went over to the door, unlocking it after peeking into the peephole. "Hello. Erin was it?"

"Uh, yeah, hi," the alpha said with a smile. "Is Aaron up? I know he likes to wake up early and stuff, and I wanted to invite you guys to breakfast."

I hesitated for a moment. Did I tell him that Aaron was locked away in our bathroom or did I lie? Even if I was against letting someone else meddle with our personal affairs, my understanding was that if anyone could get Aaron to open up, it would be his alpha. They seemed very close, an advantage that neither Aubrey nor I had just yet. "Actually, if you could come inside for a bit, that would be great."

"Um, okay?"

Erin entered the room and I closed the door behind him. Aubrey looked at the two of us curiously. "Where's Aaron?" The wolf asked, looking around.

"Locked in the bathroom," I answered bluntly.

"Wha-"

"Aaron and I had a bit of a problem earlier and now he doesn't want to talk to us. At least, I don't think he does. Maybe it would be a good idea if you could try and get him to open up?" I asked.

"Oh," Erin said with a nod. "I'll give it a shot, but he's very stubborn."

"Please."

Erin walked over to the bathroom door and knocked on it gently.

"I don't want to talk right now, Evander, so please, go away," Aaron said loudly, but his voice sounded off.

"It's me, Erin. Open up so you can face me or link me. Either way, I'm not letting you sit around by yourself to cry."

He was crying? How did Erin detect that from Aaron's voice? It didn't sound tear-filled or particularly sorrowful. It sounded blank and cold. The benefit of being a childhood friend.

The door opened just enough for Erin to slip through, then it shut again. With a sigh, I walked back over to the bed. For some reason, I felt defeated. Perhaps it was because Aaron trusted someone else more than he did his own mates, but I understood why. He didn't know us very well, but he'd known Erin for years. They grew up together. They would always have a bond that he would never have with us. Maybe, one day, he would confide in us like he does with Erin, but we weren't at that point yet.

So why do I still feel hurt by it?

.

.

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Aaron

The moment Erin entered the bathroom, he noticed my red eyes and pulled me into a hug. I refused to cry loudly in front of him - not that I had been sobbing before - but I let out a few silent tears.

He pulled us both to the ground with me in between his legs, my back to his chest. I was instantly reminded of the way I used to be comforted as a child. Of course, Erin would remember. Mom did this for him, too. The thought of that made my chest tighten.

"Talk to me," Erin said firmly.

"Evander almost kissed me," I blurted out.

"Okay, and that made you bolt?" He asked.

"Yes- no- I don't really know," I stumbled over my words.

I recounted what happened on the balcony the best I could and he listened carefully. I left out what important conversation I wanted to talk about with my mates because I felt like they deserved to know about it first. I could lie to Erin once and then pull him aside to explain it, but I didn't want to lie to my mates any more.

You're doing that now whether you acknowledge it or not.

"Okay...so, why did you run, Aaron?" Erin asked me.

I couldn't look at him, so I focused on our hands. My clammy hands were clasped together and his covered both of mine. Even if it felt comforting, I couldn't help but think about how warm and comfortable Aubrey and Evander were. I'd always thought that there were only two people in this entire world who could make me feel safe in their arms, but now that number has become four.

Well, three.

"I...I panicked," I admitted. "My stomach twisted in knots and I panicked. I didn't know what to do. And when I got here I fought off a panic attack. I-it scared me."

"The kiss?"

My breath hitched. Could I tell him this? Would he think I was weird? Who was I kidding, I was weird. Who panicked over kissing their mate? And Evander even initiated the damn kiss! The one person in this relationship who wasn't compelled by a fated mate bond. How ridiculous. "Yes," I whispered. "I was afraid of the kiss."

Erin went silent. I feared his reaction. Would he yell at me? Tell me to man up? To get over it?

You're a whiny little brat. You will never be the man our pack needs as a beta. I would've been better off having a daughter over a filthy-

No. I squeezed my eyes shut to try and block out that voice. I hated that voice. Erin must've sensed my shift in mood because he squeezed my hands gently before lifting his hands off mine to hug me closer to his body. "Stop. I know what you're thinking about. That old bastard doesn't control you. His words mean nothing," he said firmly.

"Goddess, you know me so well it freaks me out sometimes," I said bitterly.

"Two decades of friendship does that, Aaron," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Ew, don't talk like that. You make us sound old."

Erin laughed loudly. "I'm serious, though. Please, ignore that voice in your head and just talk to me. I would never say anything to hurt you the way he did."

I hummed, thinking about the decision I was about to make. I'd already decided to wait to tell my mates about my powers first, but what about...that? Then again, who better to tell than Erin? He could help me when I needed it. I wasn't ready to admit to my mates what I was, but maybe...maybe I could start with myself and Erin.

You haven't even said the word aloud, idiot.

"I-" my voice caught in my throat as my anxiety went up.

"Deep breaths. If it's too much to tell me then don't," Erin said.

"I was afraid of the kiss because..."

"Because?"

"Um, you see...I'm-"

Damn it. I grit my teeth together, trying to mentally beat myself up. Why couldn't I get the words out?! Just speak! Speak, you fuc-

"I'm asexual."

The words popped out before I even realized what was happening, but once they were out, I felt like I was about to be crushed under the weight of the silence from Erin.

"I'm asexual," I repeated slowly, trying to force myself through the silence. "I was afraid of the kiss because I was afraid of what could happen next. I'm...disgusted by sex. I know, it's really weird or whatever. I just can't...I can't think about my mates wanting something like that from me if I will never feel that...way..."

Erin was still silent. My stomach dropped as I slowly turned around in his arms. "Erin?" I asked hesitantly.

His face was full of sadness. What was that look supposed to even mean? "Hey, man, if you pity me, don't. I don't need-"

"I'm not pitying you," Erin said, his face suddenly much harder. "I'm angry at myself for not noticing sooner. And after all those jokes I've made. Goddess, I'm sorry, Aaron. I should've known."

His words made me pause. "You don't think I'm weird?"

Erin raised an eyebrow. "You are weird, but not because of your sexuality. What's weird is that you think you're weird for being asexual. Why would you think that?"

"Because I'm not normal?" I prompted. He gave me a blank stare, so I continued. "Everyone else likes sex and has sexual attraction! Everyone else is normal. I'm not. I feel like I'm an alien sometimes. Like I'm missing a part of me that makes me human."

"Aaron, you're not human," he argued. "You're more than that, literally. And just because you don't experience the same thing others do, doesn't make you less normal or whatever. It makes you different, sure, but not abnormal."

We both went silent again. I was suddenly a lot...happier. A weight had been lifted off my chest. He wasn't mad, or rude, or disrespectful. Not that I thought Erin of all people would be that way, but you can't get rid of that irrational fear sometimes. It takes over; it's taken me over.

"I'm so glad I told you," I breathed out in relief.

"Well, I'm glad you told me, too. Now, when are you going to tell your mates?"

"I don't know," I admitted with a frown. "I'm worried about what they will think. Will they be hurt? I'm supposed to be their mate. I'm supposed to want to kiss them and...other stuff."

Erin laughed lightly. "It'll be fine. They're your mates for a reason. Why would the Moon Goddess pair you up with people that would hate your sexuality?"

"The Moon Goddess is a bitch and you know that," I said seriously, to which he laughed again.

I don't get why he was laughing. She was a bitch. The amount of shit she put Erin through makes me want to reach into the celestial heavens and smack her repeatedly. "Okay, are you done moping now? You let it all out? We need to go soon. I came here to invite you guys to breakfast, not look at your ugly crying face," he teased.

"Shut up," I grumbled, turning around to punch him in the chest. "Thank you, Erin. This...really helped."

"What are friends for? And now, you'll have me around to help you out. Just make sure you tell them someday soon. They deserve to know."

"I know."

We both got up from the floor and left the bathroom. Evander and Aubrey looked at us with curious eyes, but I looked anywhere but their faces.

"Alright, I'll be downstairs waiting for you guys. Hurry up. After breakfast, we're going to discuss what to do next."

"Oh, that reminds me," I said. "I'll explain at breakfast don't worry. But, I have a plan I think we should follow."

Erin nodded his head and left with a final wave, leaving my mates and me in silence. Okay, time to apologize. "I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry that I didn't talk, Evander, and I'm sorry I was so rude, Aubrey," I said, still avoiding looking at them.

Aubrey jumped up and ran over to hug me. I was shocked by the sudden embrace, but I accepted it anyway. I held him close to my chest and breathed in his wonderful scent when I felt another pair of arms come up from behind me. Evander pulled me into his chest and I breathed a sigh of relief. They weren't mad.

"It's alright, Aaron. Please, don't beat yourself up about it," Evander said.

"Yeah, you were upset. We're just glad you're okay now," Aubrey added, his face buried in my neck.

"Thank you," I whispered, unable to say anything.

Goddess. The day just started and I'm already exhausted. We haven't even begun our mission yet and I'm already ready to call it quits for the day. But, before that...

"I have to talk to you guys about something."

~~~

Erin to the rescue! I'm so proud of my babies. Aaron finally admitted out loud that he's ace and Erin was there to support and encourage him.

I just realized how PERFECT this chapter was for this week since this week is Asexual Awareness Week! Like, this was such a wonderful coincidence lol.

Anyway, yeah! One hard conversation over and onto the next. Aaron still has to tell Erin about his ability and he has to tell Aubrey and Evander about his sexuality and his ability.

Also, y'all saw some more snippets of this mysterious "old bastard" huh? Ooo, I can't wait for y'all to see what comes up next XD

I think this book may be longer than Blueberry Scones. I'm not quite sure yet. Lol by this time, Joshua and Wren were realizing they were mates and were kissing and stuff. I don't think there will be many kisses in the near future, at least not from Aaron's pov ;)

Stay tuned for more insanity and thank you so much for reading!

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