Variation: Chapter 23
Variation: A Novel
NYFouette92: OMG. No way. The way I RAN to the comments!!!
Waking up next to Allie ranked as one of my favorite lifetime moments. It was right above graduating from rescue swimmer school, and just below the first time Iâd seen her clinging to that sinking boat, all flustered cheeks and big brown eyes.
I propped my head on my hand and shamelessly watched her sleep, her body curled toward mine even though we were in separate sleeping bags, and noted the dark circles her long lashes rested against. Weâd come to bed early when Iâd realized sheâd fallen asleep against my shoulder next to the campfire, but even a good ten hours of sleep wasnât going to help the exhaustion sheâd driven herself into. It had nothing to do with yesterdayâs hike, or the late-afternoon swim either.
âI donât want to wake you,â I whispered. âBut I know you love bacon, and if we wait any longer, there wonât be any left.â Not with my nieces and nephews running amok.
She rustled with a deep breath, then sank farther into the pillow.
âAllie,â I said softly.
Her eyes fluttered open, and my heart lurched as she smiled at me. âHudson,â she murmured, then fell right back asleep.
Yeah, I could get used to waking up like this every single day for the rest of my life.
You canât even get her to agree to a summer. But I would.
If it wasnât for our mission to humanize Caroline, I would have let Allie sleep and brought back breakfast, but unfortunately, my sister would see that as Allie being spoiled instead of me being thoughtful.
âHey, love,â I tried again. âYouâd better wake up or youâll have to catch the only protein youâll get for breakfast with a pole and a lure.â
âI donât know how to fish,â she muttered as her eyes opened again.
I grinned. âWell aware. We need to get moving.â
She nodded with a groan of protest, and we both unzipped our bags. âLook at us, making it through the night without falling prey to the one-bed trope.â Her feet hit the floor.
âThe what?â We both rummaged through our packs on separate sides of the queen-size bed, pulling out clothes.
âYou know, like in a book or a movie where the couple canât stand each other, but thereâs only one bed left at the inn, and they end up sleeping together.â She turned her back, and I did the same, repeating the same awkward dance weâd done last night to get ready for bed. One-room cabins didnât exactly leave room for privacy, and neither of us was willing to risk being caught out on the porch while the other changed if any of my family happened to walk by.
âDonât worry.â I yanked my shirt over my head. âWe still have tonight.â
âShit,â she muttered as I pulled on my shorts.
âProblem?â I focused on my socks and shoes to keep from turning around.
âI got marshmallow all over the front of my sweatshirt trying to help Juniper with sâmores last night, and now everything in the forest is stuck to it.â
I reached into my bag and pulled out my black hoodie, then threw it backward over my head to her. âTake mine.â
âIâm dressed. You can turn around,â she said, a hint ofâdare I thinkâhappiness in her voice. âAnd thank you.â
I tucked my phone into my pocket, just so I could snag some pictures, then turned and stared as Allie walked around the end of the bed.
Holy fucking hell was she perfect.
âShould we get going?â She pulled the wavy mass of her hair into some kind of topknot.
My hoodie swallowed her, shorts and all, leaving the impression that she was naked underneath, and drawing all my focus to those long flawless legs. Perfect, toned, silk-smooth legs Iâd had over my shoulders, her thighs locking so beautifully tight around my head as I lickedâ
âHudson?â
I swallowed. âYeah, we should go.â
âYou all right?â She pushed the sleeves up her arms.
âYep.â I followed her out the door and into the crisp morning air. âJust remembering the way you taste.â Honesty was the best policy . . . when possible.
She startled. âWell, good morning.â
âWould have been a way better morning if Iâd woken you up with an orgasm.â We started down the worn path toward the other cabins. âI do enjoy breakfast in bed.â
âYou canât say things like that.â Her cheeks flushed, and birds chirped in the trees.
âYou like it when I say things like that.â We passed cabin eight. âYou also like it when I call you love, when I kiss the side of your neck, and you definitely like it when I use both my fingers and my tongueââ
She covered my mouth with her hand, bringing us to a standstill.
I leaned into it and kissed the center of her palm.
Her eyes flared and her hand fell away. âSomeone could hear.â
âIs that your only protest?â I grinned.
She glanced at my mouth once. Twice. Then she sighed and whipped her head forward, pulling the sleeves of my hoodie down over her hands. âThatâs not happening again.â
I caught up as she walked down the trail, picking up the pace as we passed seven. âSo you said the first time.â
âWhat is this, anyway?â She pointed to the logo above her chest.
âNice change of subject. Itâs the rescue swimmer emblem.â I looked her over, then put my eyes solidly on the trail. âYou look good in my clothes.â Shit, I was not prepared for the immediate swell of possessiveness in my chest.
âSo others may live.â She read it upside down.
âItâs our motto.â We passed six.
âAs in youâre willing to die?â She glared up at me.
âKind of comes with the territory.â I couldnât help but smile right into her narrowed eyes. âCome on, you knew what I wanted to do. You knew it was dangerous.â
âContemplating dream careers at sixteen is a little different than you actually flying off into potential death every day.â Two lines appeared between her brows as she looked forward and we passed five.
âHowâs the reality of your dream career measure up to what you thought it would be?â We broke off the main path and took the smaller one toward what sheâd called the outhouse but which was a full bathing station, indoor plumbing and everything.
âI donât know.â She shook her head. âItâs everything I wanted, and sometimes even better than I could have dreamt, especially when performing. But itâs also so much worse.â
âHold on.â I reached for her arm, stopping us just in front of the building. âAre you not happy?â Was I wrong in thinking the injury had sucked the joy out of her?
âDefine happy.â She lifted her brows. âIâm at the top of my gameâor will be once Iâm fully healedâand have a contract as a principal dancer at one of the most prestigious ballet companies in the world. I get to do what I love every single day and they pay me for it.â
âNot that you need the money,â I reminded her.
âIâm happy. Or at least content.â She headed into the restroom.
âRight,â I muttered as she closed the door.
A few minutes laterâwith brushed teethâwe headed into the chaos of the pavilion, which was in full breakfast mode.
Dad and Caroline stood at the flattop, laughing as they cooked, while Mom stacked the camping dishes to prepare to serve.
âAllie!â Juniper raced over and slammed into Allie, throwing her arms around her middle.
âHey kiddo.â Allie hugged her back, then smoothed the hair out of her eyes. âHow did you sleep?â
I caught Caroline watching from the corner of my eye.
âNot bad!â She bounced back on her heels. âWeâre rope swinging today!â
âOh.â Allie tensed. âThat sounds . . . exciting.â
âYouâre going to have so much fun!â She ran off to play with the twins.
âAnd suddenly, Iâm chopped liver.â I brought my hand to my heart.
âAwh.â Allie clasped my hand, leaned into me and smiled, crinkling her freckle-spattered nose. âIs Hudson not the favorite for the first time in his life?â Her eyes lit with mischief, and if I hadnât fallen for her eleven years ago, that look would have done it. Hook. Line. Sinker.
âFine. You can be Juniperâs favorite.â I locked my arm around her waist and bent my head to hers. âAs long as Iâm yours.â I kissed her, slow and sweet, savoring the hint of mint that clung to her lips. She rose up and kissed me back, and I seriously debated telling my family to fuck off so I could carry her back to our cabin, but I kept my tongue behind my teeth.
I was never going to get enough of this.
âWhy did you two even bother getting out of bed?â Gavin asked as he walked by.
âGood question,â I said against her mouth as I broke the kiss.
âBehave,â Allie ordered, her smile turning my heart end over end.
âNot in my vocabulary.â I let her go reluctantly so we could grab food, then mentally groaned when Allie sat at Caroline and Gavinâs table. Time to work.
âNice hoodie,â Gavin said with a grin.
âLike it?â Allie glanced down. âIâm thinking of adding it to my Hudsonâs Hoodies collection.â She bit into a piece of bacon.
If she used her teeth on me, Iâd give her every hoodie I owned.
âSo whenâs the big day for your promotion?â Caroline asked me.
âYouâre getting promoted?â Allie raised her eyebrows at me.
âYou didnât know?â Caroline countered, then sipped her coffee.
âI hadnât told her.â I narrowed my eyes on Caroline before turning toward Allie. âBecause I donât know when it will happen. I made the list, but when you actually make rank depends on how many people they promote a month and how fast the list moves, so probably not until September. Maybe October.â
âCongratulations.â She smiled. Yeah, I was never going to get enough of that either.
âAnd where are you thinking of heading next, since your duty-station preferences are due like what . . . in a few weeks?â Gavin asked, side-eyeing Caroline.
âYour what?â Caroline fumbled her coffee but kept it from spilling. âYouâre not leaving, are you?â
âYou get to choose where they assign you?â Allie asked.
I shot Gavin a look, and he had the nerve to shrug. âKind of. My three years are almost done here. We give them a list of our top duty stations and they try to pair us according to the needs of the Coast Guard.â
âCape Cod is your top, right?â Panic crept into Carolineâs eyes. âAnd what do you mean try?â
Allie slid her hand to my knee.
âOf course, Iâll put Cape Cod as my top choiceââ
Allie tensed and her hand spasmed.
ââbut just like the rest of the military, I serve at the needs of the military. My promotion means Iâll be looking to manage my own shop.â
âOkay?â Carolineâs brow furrowed.
âItâs a job title. I donât just swim. We already have someone who manages the shop here, and if he stays, there wonât be a slot for me. And if they let me stay anyway, it would . . .â Fuck, how did I say this to her?
âIt would hold back his career,â Gavin finished, setting his metal mug on the table. âBaby brotherâs gotta fly the coop if he wants to keep climbing the ladder.â
Caroline stared, panic leaching into her blue eyes.
Fuck. I had one favor I could call in at the assignments desk, and that look meant Iâd probably have to use it to stay.
âIs there a slot for you in Sitka?â Allie asked.
âThere might be,â I answered softly.
âItâs what youâve always wanted.â She stroked her thumb along the outside of my knee and nodded, the corners of her mouth curving. I slid my fingers over Allieâs and we both ate one-handed.
âYou canât go to Alaska.â Caroline shook her head. âWhat would . . .â
âYou do?â Gavin interrupted. âThatâs what youâre worried about, right? What you would do if he went and lived his life. You could, I donât know, take Mom and Dad up on their offer to help, or hire a babysitter like every other working parent in America.â
Oh, shit. âDonât,â I warned Gavin. âI can fight my own battles.â
Caroline flinched. âStaying near your family is a battle?â
âThatâs not what I meant,â I said quietly.
âYou know the café makes almost nothing with the overhead,â she hissed at Gavin.
âSell the fucking thing. We all know you hate it.â He gestured at Allie. âEven Allie probably knows you hate it and she only ate there when she was a kid.â
Allie quickly took a drink of her coffee to avoid answering.
âKeep your voice down. Mom and Dad will hear you.â Caroline dug in to her scrambled eggs. âThey built it from the ground up and, contrary to popular belief, I love that place. Itâs just been harder to run on my own than I thought it would be. I never imagined Iâd be doing it without Sean. I know how much you guys do for Juniper and I hate that I have to lean on you.â
âWe know,â I said gently, and Gavin backed off.
âIs there anyone else you trust to keep an eye on her?â Allie asked carefully.
âAbsolutely not.â Caroline shook her head. âIâve seen too many crime documentaries.â
Allie cleared her throat. âSheâs welcome at our house if you need extra hands.â
âThank you.â Caroline stiffened. âBut weâre not a charity case to take on so you Rousseau girls can feel good about yourselves. And I donât want a houseful of professional ballerinas distorting her body image or putting ideas into her head that I canât afford and donât support.â She cringed, which was the only thing that saved her from me losing my shit. âRespectfully. Sorry, Iâve seen too many of those documentaries too.â
âI understand.â Allie popped a piece of bacon into her mouth, and I squeezed her hand supportively, then glared at Caroline.
She shot me an apologetic look and sagged in her seat.
The rest of breakfast passed in awkward silence, and I kept Allieâs hand in mine the entire time.
âHow about you and I do the dishes?â Allie asked me once we were done.
Carolineâs jaw dropped.
âExcellent idea. Iâm down for anything that gets you wet,â I teased.
âExcuse us,â Allie said to my siblings as she got up from the table. âI have to go wash his mouth out.â
I happily followed.
âDonât tire him out,â Gavin called after us. âWeâre rope swinging this afternoon!â
âOh goody,â she muttered.
âI donât think so,â Allie said as we sat on a blanket near the lakeshore that afternoon, watching Gavin pull the rope swing up the steep embankment at the base of the giant tree. Years had washed away some of the dirt on the lake side of her roots, but she was still standing.
âYouâll love it,â Juniper promised, sitting between Allieâs outstretched legs. Their toenails were the same color of pink. When had that happened?
âHow deep is that water?â Allie asked, her fingers deftly braiding Juniperâs hair. âWhat happens if he smacks into a tree? Or lands on someone? And itâs humid today. What if your hands slip on the rope?â
âYouâre about as fun as Mom,â Juniper accused.
âMeaning sheâs utterly delightful?â Caroline dropped down on Allieâs other side and I shot her a warning look. âThank you for braiding her hair. You didnât have to.â
âNo problem.â Allie tied it off with an elastic. âThree sisters. I can braid in my sleep.â
Three. She still counted Lina.
Gavin swung out on the rope, sitting on the barrel-top-size wooden disk that served as a seat, then let go at the highest point of the arc. He flew for no more than a second, then splashed into the water cannonball-style.
âSolid eight,â I called out and clapped, and Juniper hollered.
âMom, can I?â she asked.
âGo ahead. Just make sure thereâs someone in the water!â Caroline finished in a yell, because Juniper was already running for the tree where the twins waited.
âTakes after you.â Allie nudged me, then drew her long legs up and wrapped her arms around her knees. Sheâd ditched the hoodie, and the hot-pink straps of her bikini peeked out of the collar of her MBC T-shirt.
âShe does,â Caroline agreed. âMaybe sheâll be a rescue swimmer too.â
âOr you could let her dance,â I countered, my ire from this morning getting the best of me.
âDonât start.â Caroline pulled her hair up.
âShe could be one of the greats,â I prodded, wrapping my arm around Allieâs hip. âSheâll never know if you donât let her try.â
âYour perception is skewed by your proximity to the Rousseaus,â Caroline replied, watching Juniper. âTalent like Allieâs is rare.â
Allie blinked. âWhile I think that might be the nicest thing youâve ever said to me, Iâd argue that Hudsonâs talent is far rarer.â
Holy shit, was that a compliment? My head swung toward hers, finding her attention fixated on Mason as he swung out over the lake and splashed into the water.
âThan a professional ballerina?â Caroline reached for her backpack, taking out her sunscreen.
âSure. Thereâs about four thousand of us throughout the country, but only three hundred and fifty Coast Guard rescue swimmers.â She leaned into me. âMakes him far more precious.â
âHmm.â Caroline studied Allie for a second. âYouâre a principal, right? The top of your field?â
âYes.â Allie nodded, tensing slightly. âAs long as I can fully recover.â
Carolineâs gaze skimmed to Allieâs feet. âAnd whatâs left to accomplish? What motivates you when thereâs no competition, no promotion to attain, noââher focus shifted to meââfantasy duty station?â
âIâm not a prima, let alone an assoluta.â A wry smile twisted Allieâs mouth. âWhich my mother loves to remind me. So thereâs that to work toward. And if by some miracle that title is bestowed upon me, then Iâd still compete with my biggest rival, as always.â She glanced at my sister. âMyself. Thereâs always something I can do better, some technique Iâll always strive for but never perfect.â
âBecause perfection is the goal?â Caroline asked, but there was no bite in her tone.
âAlways.â Allieâs smile slipped, but she quickly bolstered it. âAnd itâs unobtainable, so thereâs never a shortage in motivation.â
âYouâre pretty perfect to me.â I brushed my lips over her temple.
She scoffed, but her eyes sparkled. âSays the man who had to teach me to ride a bike.â
âAllie!â Juniper called, cupping her hands around her mouth. âWill you braid Melodyâs hair before she swings?â
Allie nodded. âHave an extra hair tie in that bag?â she asked Caroline. âMine are all back at the cabin.â
Caroline dug into the bag and handed the elastic to Allie.
âThanks.â She brushed a quick kiss over my lips and pulled away before I could grab hold of her to deepen it. âBe right back.â
âHow many principals?â I asked as she climbed to her feet on the blanket. âThereâs three hundred and fifty of me, but out of the four thousand professional dancers, how many of them are principals, like you?â
âOh, honey.â She backed away with a smirk. âDonât make me hurt your feelings.â
I scoffed, and she headed down the slope.
âSomethingâs different between you two,â Caroline noted, spraying her legs with the sunscreen. âSheâs . . . lighter. I donât mean skinnier, or anything about her weightââ
âI know what youâre saying.â I watched as Allie reached Melody, then started braiding her curly blond hair. âHer injury was devastating both physically and mentally, but sheâs coming back to herself. Little by little, sheâll get there.â
âSheâs smiling too.â Caroline sprayed her arms. âI would guess thatâs all you.â
âI wouldnât mind being the reason.â I smiled when Juniper laughed at something Allie said. âBut Iâm not taking credit for the work sheâs put into herself.â
âWere you always in love with her? Or just this time around?â
My gaze flew to Carolineâs.
âOh, come on, youâre about as subtle as a hippo in a pet store.â She offered the sunscreen, and I shook my head since Iâd already applied some. âNo judgment. Iâm just being nosy.â
âAlways,â I answered as Allie finished up Melodyâs hair. âIt took me until that second summer to realize what the feeling was, but I fell for her the first day I met her. She was clinging to the side of the worldâs oldest rowboat, and she lifted her chin and demanded I get Eva to safety first, even though she was bleeding. She asked if I had siblings and said there was nothing more important to her than her sisters. I was a goner and didnât even know it.â
Carolineâs head tilted as her gaze bounced like a ball between Allie and me. âThatâs . . . annoyingly relatable. And admirable.â
âBecause youâre determined not to like her?â I took my hat off and set it next to Allieâs, then started on my shoes.
âI know sheâs not her sister.â Carolineâs mouth pursed. âBut thereâs just something about herâabout that whole familyâthat sends warning signals screaming through my brain. Theyâve always used their money, their influence, to further themselves. Screw whoever got stepped on.â
âBecause her mother cut your best friend from your ballet class?â I set my shoes and socks on the blanket. âAnd yes, I know about that. Itâs kind of fucked up that you got to take ballet and you wonât let Juniper.â
âTaking those classes is one of the reasons I wonât let her,â Caroline argued. âIt was two years, and the girls were mean. The teachers were mean. You heard Allie. Thereâs an impossible standard of perfection that always leaves you feeling like youâll never measure up. You think I donât see the circles beneath Allieâs eyes?â
I couldnât fight her on that last observation. âBut you think sheâs admirable, so weâre getting somewhere.â
Caroline rolled her eyes. âI think what she did was admirable, but the Rousseau girls always stick together, so Iâm not surprised.â Concern puckered her forehead. âIâm still worried sheâll break your heart when she leaves, just like the first time.â
âThatâs not what happened.â I stripped off my shirt and stood, watching Allie shake her head at Gavin as he gestured to the rope swing.
âI was there,â Caroline countered, stretching her legs over the blanket. âI didnât know why you were crushed and silent before you left for basic, but now it makes sense. I remember the devastation on your face, and the emptiness in your eyes. You wouldnât talk to meâto anyoneâand Gavin told me not to poke.â Her tone sharpened. âSo donât tell me she didnât break your heart. I saw the truth with my own eyes.â
âYou saw your truth.â I pivoted to look down at my big sister. âBut mine? I left her. I broke her. She was in the hospital, for fuckâs sake, looking at months of rehabilitation. Her sister died, and I didnât show up for her. She woke up and I was gone. I was the prick and broke my own heart. Not Allie.â
âYou wouldnât do that.â Carolineâs jaw dropped, and she looked at me like Iâd suddenly become a stranger. âYou save people, Hudson. You donât leave them.â
âBut I did.â If she knew that I was constantly lying to her, she wouldnât be so certain about my character. I was currently the hero in Juniperâs story, but Iâd be the villain in Carolineâs once she learned that particular truth. I crouched to look her in the eye. âTruth always differs depending on whoâs telling the story, and in complicated situations, there are countless variations. But when it comes to that summer, in every single variant, Iâm the asshole who wasnât strong enough to hold on to her.â
A splash sounded in the lake behind me, and the kids cheered Gavinâs name.
âWhy would you . . .â She shook her head.
âI was a selfish fuck who cared more about what I wanted than what she needed.â My chest constricted like a vise. âIâm the one who has to earn her back, not the other way around, and it would really help if you could just lay off and be one less obstacle to overcome, because sheâs it for me, Caroline. This summer might be all I have with her, but sheâs it.â
Caroline blinked in surprise, then glanced at Allie. âOkay,â she said slowly, then nodded at me. âOkay.â
âThank you.â Relief lifted at least a hundred pounds off my back.
I walked down to the shore as Juniper went flying off the swing, then came up with a shout of victory as Gavin treaded water nearby.
âWeâre up after Melody,â I told Allie when I reached her side.
âVery funny.â She watched, completely rapt as Mel caught the rope and started dragging it up the slope.
I knew that look. Sheâd worn it the night I met her at the bar with Gavinâs motorcycle. My girl wanted to swing and thought she shouldnât.
âIâm dead serious.â
Allie snorted. âNo way. I think Gavin flew fifteen feet through the air on his last jump. If I come down wrong . . .â
âItâs water, not concrete. Your mom isnât here, Allie. You can have a little fun. Itâll be good for you.â I watched the expressions change on her face, her brow furrowing at first, then rising slightly as she pressed her lips between her teeth and tilted her head to the side. âThe lakeâs a good twenty feet deep around there. Itâs safe.â
She side-eyed me. âItâs a God-only-knows-how-old rope tied to a God-only-knows-how-healthy tree that can bear God-only-knows how much weight, intoââ She sucked in a breath as Mel hopped onto the seat and swung down and out, letting go at the perfect time to fall into the lake, squealing until she hit the water.
âYou want to,â I prodded. âI can see it.â
âLike you know when I want things,â she muttered, folding her arms. âI have a great poker face.â Which she immediately ruined by raking her gaze over my torso and biting her lip.
âMaybe to everyone else.â I palmed her waist and turned, tugging her against me. âThe waterâs just how you like it, love. Wet. Deep. Safe. Come play.â
âYou did not just make a sex joke.â Her gaze darted to the water.
âYou can trust me. I wonât let anything bad happen to you.â All traces of teasing left my voice.
That got her full attention. She winced, then quickly smoothed her expression. âYou canât promise that.â
I brought my left hand up to her cheek and cupped her face, getting the feeling that she wasnât just talking about the swing. âThatâs exactly what Iâm promising. Weâll do it together.â
âAnd what if Iâm too scared to let go? Are you just going to fly off and leave me hanging?â She swallowed.
âI wonât let go until you do,â I promised, stroking her cheek. âWeâll swing back together, relaunch, and try it again. As many times as you need.â My stomach clenched. âYou just have to have a little faith in me.â
She searched my eyes. âDo you think Iâm absurd for being nervous? I mean, the kids arenât scared.â
âYouâre not absurd.â A smile tugged at my mouth. âThey were scared the first time too. Youâre just getting a later start.â
âWere you scared? Wait. Donât answer that.â She threw up a hand and stepped out of my arms. âYouâre never scared, which makes you a shitty barometer.â She blew out a slow breath. âAll right. Letâs do it.â
âReally?â My grin was instant.
âStop asking and letâs do it before I lose my nerve.â She yanked her shirt over her head, and I did my absolute best to keep my eyes off the swells of her breasts.
Damn my memory, I could still feel the hard buds of her nipples in my mouth, hear her little gasps of pleasure. Not right now. For fuckâs sake, we were surrounded by my family, and I was twenty-eight years old, not some hormonal teenager. This was most definitely not the time.
She shimmied out of her shorts.
Never mind. I was a kid in a candy store and Allie was pure sugar. Every inch of her was delectably perfect. Somehow, I managed to shut my mouth without drooling, and walk her down to the rope.
The kids climbed out, and Gavin trailed after them. âI donât know how the hell you tread water constantly,â he griped. âIâve got to go to the gym.â
I laughed, then took hold of the rope as Allie leaned out over the ten-foot embankment. âYou ready?â
âWe both canât sit on that thing.â She motioned to the wooden disk.
âWeâre going to stand.â I held the rope steady. âYou hop on first, and Iâll pull us up the hill, and then jump on with you.â
She stared at the disk. âYou could just let me go.â
âI could, but that would make me an asshole.â I crooked my hand at her. âCome on, Allie.â
âThis is the stupidest thing Iâve ever done.â She gripped the rope with both hands, then stepped onto her side of the disk.
God help us if I ever took her bungee jumping.
âGood girl.â I locked eyes with her, then dug my heels into the ground and backed up, dragging her up the hillside. âIâm not going to jump on until you want me to.â
âYour exact word was need, if I recall,â she muttered.
âNow whoâs making sex jokes?â I bit back a smile and we reached the sweet spot for taking off. âYou tell me when.â
She took a deep breath, then another, and another, adjusting her grip on the rope. âHow will I know when to let go so I donât hit the shore down there instead of the water?â
âIâll tell you.â
âOkay. Letâs go.â She nodded.
âYouâre sure?â I prepared to launch.
âRight now!â she ordered.
I jumped with both feet and landed on the disk, then momentum swung us down the hill.
Allie shrieked, and I let go with one hand, wrapping my arm around her waist as we cleared the shore and shot out over the lake. I waited for the water to turn that deep blue that equaled depth, and shouted, âNow!â
The second I saw her let go, I did the same, and we flew.
The lake rushed up to meet us, and I held my breath before we hit. Water engulfed us, rushing over our heads. I slid my hand from her waist and grabbed her hand before I kicked for the surface.
I popped up a second before she did.
She gasped when she hit air, and I let her hand go so she could tread water, remembering that what was second nature to me wasnât to her. âThat was . . .â Her eyes locked on mine and she smiled wide. âThat was incredible!â
And then she laughed.
I fell in love with her all over again. Not the quiet, observant girl sheâd been, or the friend Iâd let down, but the woman sheâd grown into, beautiful and strong, scarred and still laughing.
She launched forward, threw her arms around my neck, and pressed her mouth to mine.
I kept us afloat, and then kissed the shit out of her, tilting my head and stroking my tongue into her mouth. I groaned at the taste of her, the delectable scrape of her fingernails along the back of my neck, and the heat of her body pressed against mine.
She whimpered, and the sound had me hard in seconds.
Need barreled down my spine, and I grasped the nape of her neck as she wound her legs around my waist, trusting me fully to keep us above the surface. Iâd never wanted anyoneâanythingâthe way I needed Allie. I kissed her like she was air and Iâd spent the last decade swimming for the surface.
âHey! There are kids out here, you know!â Gavin called out.
Allie pulled away, breathing hard and fast.
Fuck the rest of this day, I was taking her straight back to the cabin.
She must have seen my intention in my eyes, because hers flared, and she untangled herself, then swam slowly for shore.
I took off after her and prayed the water would cool my dick down enough to not scar my family for life. It was close, but I was in presentable shape by the time we got there.
Allie and I walked out of the lake and onto the little beach beneath the drop-off, where we were momentarily hidden from view. I pulled her into my arms, and she brought her hands to my chest, but didnât push me away. âI want you.â I lowered my forehead to hers. âI will do anything to be with you, to keep you, to make this work. I have never felt anything more real in my life.â
She sucked in a breath. âIt would never work. Iâm going back to New York.â
âI donât care. Youâre here now. Give me your now.â My hands flexed on her waist. âTell me you feel it.â
She squeezed her eyes shut, then nodded. âI feel it. Itâs real.â
Thank you, God.
A shape flew over our heads, and our heads turned as Juniper swung out over the lake, then shouted happily as she let go. She hit with minimal splash as Mason and Melody cheered from above.
âSheâs not supposed to do that unless thereâs someone in the water,â I muttered, staring at the surface of the lake. My brow furrowed when she didnât immediately pop up, and I started counting as the hair on the back of my neck rose.
âHudson,â Allie whispered, her hands falling from my chest when I reached nine.
I turned fully toward the lake, then strode in, making it to twelve by the time the water reached my waist.
âHudson!â Caroline screamed from above us.
âStay here,â I called back to Allie, then dove.