Chapter 17
If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
Ania had a nightmare.
People next to her disappeared one by one, leaving her alone in the pitch-dark darkness.
âMomâ¦â
Wandering in the darkness, Ania called out to the vanishing people.
âDad!â
However, they left without a trace.
âRicktman!â
Like someone who never existed from the beginning, no one was by her side.
âEdward!â
Ania shouted desperately, but no one answered. The unpredictable darkness just roamed around her.
âDonât leaveâ¦â
Youâre alone.
No one loves you.
Echoing voices surrounded Ania, and she screamed.
Please come back.
I was wrong.
I wonât make the same mistake again.
Donât leaveâ¦
After crying for a while, when she opened her eyes, Ania realized it was a nightmare.
When she wiped her eyes in a daze, clear traces of tears were on her hands.
She felt shiveringly cold because her whole body was soaked in a cold sweat.
Also, a cold wind was blowing from somewhere.
Ania raised her head to see where the cold wind was coming from.
She noticed that the window, left open while she slept, let in the chilly early winter breeze, causing the thin curtains to flutter wildly.
âBrr, itâs coldâ¦â
Though it was only a nightmare, an ominous feeling lingered in her chest.
Whether due to the effects of the dream or the fact that the window was left open, Ania realized that her hands and lips were lightly trembling.
Ania covered her trembling body with a blanket and closed the window.
She slowly walked to the full-length mirror in the cold room, only to find a swollen, unattractive woman standing there.
âIn this stateâ¦â
No matter who looked at her, it was an unpleasant sight.
The idea of having a meal with Edward in this condition was downright repulsive.
However, a promise was a promise.
They decided to have meals together daily while she stayed at the mansion.
Ania tried her best to cover her swollen eyes and face with her hands and applied makeup, but there wasnât much change.
Her face looked so ugly that she crumpled the lipstick in her hand and threw it on the floor.
At that moment, a gentle knock on the door echoed.
âMy Lady, the meal is ready.â
It was the maid who came to wake her up every morning.
Without responding, Ania sniffled.
âMy Lady?â@@novelbin@@
The maid knocked on the door again.
Ania suddenly found the sound of the knocking on the door unbearable.
Frustration built up as she looked at her deformed reflection and burst out angrily.
âI wonât eat!â
âUh, My Lady?â
However, it seemed the maid didnât leave at the sound of Aniaâs rejection.
The maid spoke again with a trembling voice.
âMy Lady, My Lord is waiting.â
âI said I wonât eat!â
As Ania forcefully exclaimed, the maidâs startled gasp was heard from beyond the door.
âDonât come in! Donât ask questions! Just leave me alone!â
âI apologizeâ¦â
As the maidâs footsteps faded, Ania finally took a deep breath.
With a sigh of relief, her agitated feelings calmed a bit, and she began to feel a faint sense of embarrassment.
âI didnât mean to get angry like that.â
Why did she always end up getting angry at the people around her?
It happened at the ball, too.
She remembered getting angry for no reason at Edward, who had done nothing wrong.
Ania buried her face in the pillow, suppressing a quiet cry.
Why does she keep losing her temper with others?
In the quiet sobs, she acknowledged that she might be the kind of person Edward could tire of.
Even so, the sadness came from the realization that he was the only one who had stayed by her side when everyone else grew tired and left.
She had needlessly gotten angry at Edward, the one person who had stayed by her side when everyone else abandoned her.
And she attacked him without reason.
If Edward disliked her, she could do nothing but cry.
The fact was painfully bitter, and Ania couldnât stop the tears from pouring out.
***
After finishing breakfast, when I headed to the training ground, I noticed the resentful expression on Ricktmanâs face and the lifelessness of his eyes.
âMy Lordâ¦â
Although I was practically a sold man, Ricktman had always treated me as a noblemanâs son and provided me with aristocratic treatment.
However, his expression, filled with resentment, sent me shivers today.
âLetâs begin todayâs training.â
The atmosphere was tense, and as expected, Ricktman showed no mercy.
A swiftly swung sword hit me, and though it was just a practice blade, it hurt as if I had been hit with a real one.
âRicktman.â
âYes, My Lord.â
âToday, the sword feels unusually fast.â
âItâs your imagination, My Lord.â
Ricktman swung the sword again emotionlessly.
While he usually lowered his skill to make it suitable for a sparring match, todayâs attack was ruthless.
I twisted my body to avoid and block the sword, which hit me like a ton of bricks.
âMaster, you should counterattack.â
âRicktman, just a momentâ¦â
âTo protect Miss, you need to become stronger, donât you think?â
In the end, I raised both hands, signaling the end of the training.
As usual, my whole body was soaked in sweat, and Ricktman had beads of sweat running down his forehead.
Wiping away sweat with a towel, I sat down, and unexpectedly, Ricktman, who would usually say, âLetâs end todayâs sparring here,â while sheathing his sword, came over and sat next to me.
âMy Lord.â
âDonât make me talk. Iâm dying from pain.â
âIn that case, you donât have to respond. I want to tell you something, whether itâs off-topic or not.
Wiping away the beads of sweat that had formed, Ricktman, with a casual expression, began to speak.
âIt may be an overstepping remark, but do you happen to know why Miss Ania got angry?â
It wasnât a simple question; he knew the answer.
Heâs asking if Iâm aware that Iâm the reason.
âI said I wonât respond.â
âIs that soâ¦â
Ricktman quickly agreed and looked up at the sky.
Snowflakes began to fall, and as the world was dyed in silence, Ricktman, who broke the silence, continued.
âMy Lady is more delicate than you might think.â
He said with a faint smile.
âAlthough she may appear rigid and mature, it seems sheâs still quite young.â
âIt doesnât appear so to me.â
âHaha. Well, you are her husband, after all.â
âWhat does that have to do with anything?â
âIn front of the man she loves, a womanâs heart wants to act like a child.â
It was utterly nonsense.
Ania Bronte is a villainess.
A villainess who knows her charm and uses it.
âDelicate person, my foot.â
Lichtman fell for Aniaâs show of pretense.
âWhat do you want to say, Ricktman?â
âJust a request to take good care of My Lady.â
The retired knight stood up, patting his rear as he laughed.
âI may be the My Ladyâs guard, but Iâm not the one to protect her heart.â
***
The next day, Ania still didnât leave her room, leaving her meals untouched.
Although I was worried about her, unfortunately, I also had a schedule.
It was strange timing for such an arrangement, but it was an invitation I couldnât refuse.
It was for a firearms demonstration under the command of the Crown Prince.
You might wonder what kind of firearms were in a medieval setting, but this era was rapidly advancing.
We were transitioning from the age of swords and bows to the age of gunpowder.
Thanks to this, as a representative knight of the Radner family, I had to go to the imperial capital to demonstrate the new weapon, the musket.
âThe carriage is ready.â
âIâll be right out.â
After fixing my appearance and putting on the well-prepared knightâs uniform, I left the room.
But something strange happened.
As I walked down the corridor, Aniaâs room caught my eye.
Then, unknowingly, I found myself stopping in front of her door.
âMy Lady is more delicate than you might think.â
Ricktmanâs words from yesterday echoed in my ears, and the image of Aniaâs wounded expression at the ball surfaced vaguely.
âWhat does that have to do with me?â
I didnât need to concern myself with Aniaâs feelings. I just had to adjust enough to continue our married life.
After all, I was only here to survive and eventually return to my original world.
Despite consciously turning my head away from Aniaâs room and taking a few steps, my heart kept feeling uneasy.
âSighâ¦â
My steps faltered as if someone were holding me back.
Eventually, I found myself back in front of Aniaâs room.
After lightly tapping on the door, I took a deep breath and spoke.
âMy Lady.â
ââ¦â
No response. I knocked again.
âI apologize for yesterday.â
There were many things I wanted to say, but standing in front of the door, my mind went blank, and I couldnât remember why I should be sorry.
âIâll be going now.â
Eventually, with those words as the last, I turned around and walked towards the main gate.
Upon boarding the carriage, the coachman immediately urged the horses into motion.
Inside the carriage, as it exited through the main gate, I could see Ania.
She leaned against the window, gazing into the distance with a vacant expression.
Her ears and nose were tinged with red due to the chilly wind.
A woman who could easily catch a cold with such a fragile bodyâ¦
âMy Lady!â
As I called out to Ania, she lowered her head and looked at me.
I wanted to caution her about catching a cold, but when I met Aniaâs eyes, my words seemed to freeze.
It felt as if my heart, like a boy experiencing love for the first time, couldnât stop pounding.
ââ¦â
Meanwhile, the carriage distanced itself from the mansion.
Aniaâs face became smaller and smaller, like a distant dot.
I stared at her shrinking face, my mouth still unable to move, as the carriage drove away.