CH 42.3

Do You Still Hate Her? 32 – The person who doesn’t cherish the people who loves them is the wrong one

Shang Mu didn’t care about the box, he simply placed it on the table and continued to deal with his work matters.

It wasn’t until he had finished showering and went to sleep at night, but he opened his eyes again after a full hour.

He looked towards the direction of the table, hesitated for a moment, then got up, turned on the light, and walked over.

“Just a quick look,” Shang Mu reassured himself.

Then he pulled out a chair, sat down, put the doll into a drawer, and directly overturned the box, placing its contents on the table.

There weren’t many things in the box.

Apart from a doll, there were a few romance novels that girls liked to read, a set of high school uniforms, several expired candies, and… many horror movie discs, as well as a thick notebook.

Shang Mu looked at these discs strangely; they had gathered layers of dust, clearly having been there for years.

He hadn’t expected that Shang Lu would actually like watching these kinds of things.

There’s nothing special, so Shang Mu planned to put these things away and rest. However, the moment he picked up the notebook, almost as if guided by some unseen force, he opened it.

The notebook was old, its pages yellowed with age, and the first thing that caught his eye as he flipped it open was a drawing.

A boy sat at a piano, his hands resting on the keys, playing.

The drawing wasn’t particularly well-done, but Shang Mu recognized himself at a glance.

He continued to flip through the pages.

Next were several more drawings, all of him.

There was the drawing of him studying, the drawing of him eating, and the drawing of him sitting in the car and leaving.

Shang Mu didn’t understand why Shang Lu wanted to draw him, but as he flipped further back, he saw another very strange painting.

In the image, there seemed to be four people standing together, holding hands, but each person’s face was painted black.

However, the intensity of the ink was different, and it didn’t even look like they were from the same year.

Just as Shang Mu was about to turn the page, he saw two small words in the bottom right corner: ‘Family Portrait.’

In that moment, it was as if he had been struck by lightning, causing his mind to briefly go blank.

His hand made a choice before his brain could catch up, and he continued flipping the pages backward.

But this time, there were no more paintings, only segments of a diary.

[Mom’s photo looks so gentle, I want to look at it every day. So that’s what Mom looks like.]

[I sneaked a look at Mom’s photo again today, I almost got caught by Dad, that was close.]

…

[I did something wrong, I broke the photo. That room is so dark, I’m so scared. I definitely won’t make Dad angry anymore, I’ll be good and obedient.]

[Am I an unlucky star, a bringer of disaster? I heard the servants whispering like this, what does it mean? The teachers don’t seem to hear when I ask them, and my brother ignores me too. Who else can I ask?]

[Today’s breakfast was delicious. Brother even gave me his fried egg. I’ve been behaving well recently. Does that mean he doesn’t dislike me as much anymore?]

…

[Dad lets me to go to junior high school! Same school as Brother! Even though he’s in the high school division, I can still see him every day.]

[Brother didn’t want to ride in the same car with me. I was so sad to be late on the first day of school. But Brother waited for me after school and said a sentence to me on the way home, even though it was just ‘you’re so noisy.’]

[Why did my Brother suddenly start living at school? TAT]

[No one in the family talks to me. I guess I’ll talk to the ants.]

…

[Why did Brother scold me? Did I do something wrong?]

[Seems like I’ve upset my Brother again. I’m so clumsy.]

[Brother hasn’t spoken to me for a week.]

[It’s been a month.]

[I hate the cousins, I hate them coming to our house.]

[I hate my big brother too.]

…

[Brother gave me candy.]

[Brother actually gave me a romance novel! He said the girls in his high school class read this, so I want to read it too!]

[Brother actually started talking to me! He asked where I want to go and what my wishes are after the college entrance exam. He said I can ask him for advice on choosing colleges. I’m so happy.]

[I don’t hate Brother anymore, I still like him the most.]

…

[I had a fight with Brother, and this time he pushed me. I feel like crying.]

[Brother looks really sad, and I feel so sad too. But I really didn’t tattle to Dad. How did Dad find out he’s dating?]

…

[I like Brother.]

[Brother said he’ll give me a birthday present next month! Does that mean he realized he misunderstood me? I’m so happy. I need to apologize to Brother properly too. I shouldn’t have sneaked up to talk to that girl. I won’t do something like that again in the future.]

Seeing this, Shang Mu suddenly recalled that day.

At that time, Shang Lu was a senior in high school. He discreetly sent the household servants away and brought his first girlfriend back home. Unexpectedly, Shang Lu was at home due to feeling unwell.

Although he was already in college at that time, his father strictly forbade him from dating before graduation. So, he immediately asked his girlfriend to leave and pretended that she was there to promote a product, acting calm as he went upstairs.

However, later the girlfriend told him that his little sister caught up with her and had a conversation, and the girlfriend really liked his little sister.

As if nothing had happened, Shang Mu went from being nervous to relieved.

But a month later, the girlfriend was suddenly sent abroad by Father Shang. He tried countless methods but couldn’t contact her again.

As a result, he had the most intense fight ever with Shang Lu, and then… he gave her the rose manor.

It wasn’t her?

Shang Mu’s hands suddenly trembled. After a long time, he turned to the next page of the diary.

…

[I hate Brother]

These three words were crossed out, and new ones were written: [I hate Shang Mu, I hate this family.]

Further along, this diary only recorded some trivial matters of life, like a classmate giving her a delicious pastry, tripping on the road today and being taken to the infirmary by a stranger classmate, the teacher praising her at the competition, her sadness when Chi Yan was going abroad, and so on.

There was no mention of anything related to him, not a single word.

Shang Mu had once detested his little sister, Shang Lu.

In his vague memories, before the birth of his sister, he had a happy family with a gentle mother and kind father; everything was so beautiful.

However, his sister’s arrival took away his mother’s life and changed his father as well.

Shang Mu felt countless times that this was unfair.

Why is it that when his little sister makes a mistake, she is only locked in that dark room, while he, despite not having done anything wrong, has to suffer the consequences of Shang Lu’s mistakes and endure physical punishment while locked in his father’s study?

Then, after his father strikes him, his father looks at him and says, “Your sister’s face resembles your mother’s too much. You’ll have to endure these hardships for her sake, and you should discipline your sister properly. If she’s unruly, it’s also your responsibility, as her older brother.”

Shang Mu understood then.

Because his sister looks like their mother, his father can’t bring himself to hurt her or bear her tears.

Although it was Shang Lu’s birth that took everything away from him, he’s the one who has to endure all this for his little sister’s sake, which he felt unjust.

So, in those years, Shang Mu increasingly rejected his little sister’s existence.

Until he meets his girlfriend. She is a very gentle and kind person who, even after learning about the pain from his family, still embraces him and assures him that she will always be by his side.

His girlfriend also tells him that none of this is his little sister’s fault. They are both innocent victims.

Guided by his girlfriend’s counsel, he starts attempting to mend the relationship between him and Shang Lu.

However, the good times didn’t last long. The things recorded in the diary happened, and their relationship changed completely from its original stiffness to an irreconcilable situation of hostility.

Moving forward…

Uh?

Shang Mu’s expression carried confusion.

Because in front of him, the diary was filled with words on the entire page:

[I like men with small eyes.]

Shang Mu : “?”

What is this?