Snapshot: Chapter 21

Dad and I sit in the driveway inside his beat-up Honda. He cuts the car engine off and unbuckles, but he doesn’t open his door. Instead, he reclines a few degrees and tucks his hands behind his head.

“Aren’t we going inside?” I ask, clutching the bag of canned apple filling Mom sent us to the store for.

“Give her a few more minutes. She’s probably frantically running through the house with air freshener as we speak. Don’t want to spook her.”

After dinner—and my confession about my unexpected marriage to Dex—Mom ushered us out the door saying she forgot a few ingredients for the apple pie a la mode she was planning to make. The shopping list was premade pie crusts, apple pie filling, and vanilla ice cream. It was clear she just wanted an excuse to kick us out of the house so she could sneak a cigarette.

I laugh. “You should just bust her. You know exactly what she’s doing.”

Dad smiles. That warm smile that easily gives him away—after thirty years of marriage, he still finds Mom completely adorable. “Your mother sneaks about four cigarettes a year. Only when she’s really upset. After the bomb you dropped on us tonight, I’ll sit out here patiently while she smokes an entire pack.”

Exhaling, I hang my head. “You guys like Dex,” I mutter. “Don’t forget that.”

Dad grumbles something inaudible under his breath.

“Okay, asked and answered… Do you wish I married Alan instead?” I place the plastic bag between my feet and recline to match Dad’s angle. He reaches across the center console and pats my knee.

“Did you love Alan?”

My heavy heart aches like it always does when this comes up. The guilt hasn’t absolved, but the truth is getting easier to tell with each day. “Not in the way he deserved.”

Dad’s eyes are forward, the flickering lights hanging on either side of the garage illuminating his face. It’s time to change the bulbs. “And Dex?”

“Yeah,” I breathe out. “I love him. I haven’t told him yet.”

Dad pulls down on his face, tugging on his skin. “Do you see the central issue we’re having? You haven’t admitted to your husband that you love him?”

I groan. “I already explained how sudden everything was and why.”

“I understand helping your friend with a legality, and I’d understand falling in love with your friend. It’s this gray area you’re in that has me worried. Does Dex feel the way about you that you do about him? Because I’ve seen men like him go to greater lengths than falsely professing their love to see a deal through.”

“Daddy, you don’t understand. He’s different.”

Dad’s smirk starts small and then stretches all the way across his face. He rolls his head to the right to stare at me, a little glean in his eye.

“What?” I ask.

“Moments like this, it’s like you’re sixteen again, or eighteen, or twenty…twenty-two…twenty-three… So many sweet memories of me wanting to take your boyfriends out back like Old Yeller. You telling me they are different.”

“Fiiine,” I grumble. “So we’ve had this conversation before.” We both laugh. “You don’t believe an old broken record, huh?”

“I don’t need to believe you to stand by you, baby girl. But I do need you to make me a promise.”

“Okay.”

“I was in investment banking for twenty years. You don’t have a career for that long without knowing Hessler Group. What waits for you in Miami…it’s not the life I would’ve wished for my little girl. Money like that snuffs the soul out of people. It’s what happened to me.”

Dad has the wrong impression of Dex, and of Dottie too. It’s possible to have so much and still have a heart. “What promise?” I ask, clearing my throat.

“I want you to promise me that every single decision you make for the next year is with love in your heart and not money on your mind. Stay true to yourself because I refuse to lose you, Lenny. Not while I’m still breathing.”

Ladies and gentlemen—Sam Mitchell—the only person on the planet I don’t mind calling me Lenny.

“I’ll promise to lead with my heart if you promise to keep breathing,” I say softly. I’m dancing dangerously close to the line we never cross. But if I’m leaving, I have to know Dad’s okay.

“I promise.”

“You know, Dad, you think wanting money is evil, but the fact is, we still need it. It can be a good thing. It can give second chances.”

He turns fully now. “What do you mean?”

I was going to wait until after dinner and dessert and linger around after Mom went to bed, but now’s as good a time as any. I pull out my phone and put it on speaker as I dial the 1-800 number that I programmed in this morning.

After a brief automated menu, the hold time is minimal. A woman finally answers the line in such a cheerful voice for a student loan call center. “Thank you for calling Better Ed Student Loans. This is Gloria. How can I help you today?”

Dad’s eyes widen. He grabs the seat handle, returning to an upright position. “What are you⁠—”

I press my fingers to my lips to silence him. “Gloria, my name is Lennox Mitchell and I’d like to make a payment on my account.”

Obediently, Dad stays silent as I give Gloria my social security number and the password on the account. Tears form in his eyes as Gloria reads the painfully high totals on each of my private student loans. The debt I racked up never went to my education. I dropped classes, forfeited school, and used every extra penny of the loans to try and save my family’s home—a futile attempt that landed me in financial ruin. There are seven different maxed-out loans accruing interest at ridiculous rates. Gloria explains that some of the loans are delinquent, dangerously close to going to collections. Dad has to cover his mouth as he begins to heave, now fully crying at the damage he thinks he did.

It’s not your fault, Daddy. It’s not your fault. It was my choice. I could tell him over and over again, but he’d never believe me. We don’t need to bleed over this anymore. It’s the main reason I said yes to Dex and this job before knowing how he felt about me. My motivation was to absolve my dad of guilt. It’s the only way I could leave him and Las Vegas.

“Ms. Mitchell, that’s all of them. What payment would you like to make on which loan?” Gloria asks through the speakerphone.

I clear my throat, eyes fixed on Dad’s. “All of them. All of it.”

She pauses. “The entire balance? Did I hear that correctly?”

“Yes, I want to pay it all off, right now.” I fish in my purse and pull out the document Dex gave me yesterday with my new bank account information. “I have a routing and account number when you’re ready.”

I have to give Gloria the number seven times. One for each loan. One by one, I erase the demons that have been plaguing me and Dad for over a decade now. When we’re finished, Gloria congratulates me and assures me that I should see my credit score positively affected within sixty days or so.

I hang up the phone and say to Dad, “It’s the same thing the credit card companies told me yesterday when I paid them all off. Apparently, in just two months, my credit score won’t be negative twenty anymore.” I laugh, but this time, Dad doesn’t join me. He buries his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m so sorry. You should’ve never had to… My burden, and I couldn’t take care of you…”

He’s soaking his short, dark brown beard, so I pull his hands from his face and wipe the tears away with the back of my hands. “It’s okay. Everything is okay. I’m free now.” I hand him my phone. “Your turn.”

He looks horrified, the skin on his forehead scrunching in tight folds. “What?” he croaks out.

“Every single loan, creditor, debt collector… Start calling.” I wave the bank document in the air. “We’re all starting over tonight.”

Dad shakes his head, blubbering. “No, no, no. I can’t let you do that.”

“It’s not just for you, Dad. It’s for Mom, too. Make the calls.”

His bottom lip trembles as he speaks, making his words come out in a vibrato. “Daughters aren’t supposed to save their daddies. That’s not how the fairytales go.”

I smile. “Dad, I love you… Fuck fairytales.” I point to my phone tightly clutched in his hands. “Make the calls.”

He sucks in a breath and holds it for so long I’m pretty confident that, at this point, Dad could out-dive even Dex. He finally releases a slow, controlled breath. “He doesn’t deserve you, Lenny. None of us do. You kept this family together when I failed to. When I was weak, you were strong.”

I reach over the center console and grab Dad’s hand. “If we’re going to take this to the studs…you taught me what family means. If I’m strong, it’s because you and Mom showed me how to be. I’m your little dividend finally paying out.”

He finally smiles through his tears. “At least I did one thing right in this life… I chose your mom. She gave me you.”

One call at a time, Dad and I stitch together the open wounds, clearing debt, wiping the slate clean. It takes a giant chunk out of my new bank account but I’m not bothered in the slightest. I got everything I could ever want.

I’m safe. My mom and dad are safe. And I’m about to spend every day with the man who has been starring in my dreams for the past three years. The muddy waters are behind us now.

This is my fresh start.