The Secrets

LORELAI

I spent days with the twins, days I didn’t really have to spare in the grand scheme of everything that was happening. But I didn’t care; I needed them, and they needed me. Nobody questioned that.

My alphas had given me my time with them, coming in to make sure I was eating, healing, and for the affection they craved after being separated for so long. But after the heat passed, I went to the twins and hadn’t left.

I used the pack link to communicate and had put every issue on hold until I had absorbed every second with them.

I knew I had to organize the beast and Adrenna with the witches. Adrenna was volatile about still being in captivity after helping us, and the beast was losing his control. He had been in her presence without satisfying his need to kill her for too long.

The vampires had sent a few hunting parties out, but nothing like the last time. And they were ripped to shreds by the wolves. The pack had gone savage when it came to the vamps; they had no mercy.

Not just because the vampires had kept me and Kai captive with torture, but because they had killed our own.

I still felt the loss heavy inside me. Kai did the most; Tatum had been closest to him, and without him in Kai’s rank formation, he was taking it hard.

He was taking a lot hard.

His nightmares woke the entire mansion. He barked at everyone, telling us he was fine, but we all knew he wasn’t.

No vampire was getting past the walls; he made sure of it.

But it wasn’t just Kai.

Derik was acting weird. He was hiding something in our link, and he knew I knew it too. It caused physical pain when he didn’t answer truthfully, and I was going to confront him about whatever it was, but not yet. I was still spending time with the twins.

I didn’t want anything tainting that.

Brax was different too. After we had gotten back and the heat had died down, he had taken over. He was running the pack, organizing with impressive leadership, but his shadows weren’t on board. They were acting out, trying to stop him from making decisions.

They swarmed him lately, and it was on my mind constantly since he could link with the twins. But he didn’t want to talk about it.

I was done with that.

I placed the twins in their crib, making a cocoon around it with my shadows as they slept. Then I went to find my alphas.

I found Derik first. He was in his office, but he was always there when he wasn’t with me, so that wasn’t a hard assumption to make.

“Beautiful,” he said, his smile tight and nervous— a strange combination for him. It made me wary.

“Hey, how’s the council pleasing going?” I asked.

Derik shrugged, leaning back in his chair as I sat on his lap. He held me there before sighing and looking down at his parchment.

“As well as it can. I’ve put together the reports based on the plans Brax has given me. He’s no good at paperwork, and that’s all the council wants,” he rolled his eyes. “They’re not too impressed with his decision to help the rogues. We’re not letting them in the city, but offering them the villages and food goes against the rogue thing. They chose their futures by refusing our leadership. According to the council, they do not warrant help from the pack they chose to go against.”

“So we can’t just make them a part of the pack then? Then they’d warrant our help, right?” I asked, not sure how else to help since werewolf politics went right over my head.

If there were werewolves in trouble, I wanted to help, and I probably would have made the same decision as Brax. But there was a niggling in me, my shadows or my magic, that had an issue. Probably my shadows since Brax seemed to have the same one.

The shadows did not like the rogues.

It was the reason I had decided on them staying out of the city. I trusted my shadows, and if they weren’t on board, then neither was I. Brax was having a hard time with that, though.

He wanted to help more.

I understood that, and I didn’t mind offering some of our resources. But we needed to find out what the rogues were willing to give in return. They refused to give us loyalty, and the resources we gave were risking our own.

I couldn’t ignore that.

Especially with the vamps everywhere and threatening to attack at all times.

We’d already had three attacks in the last few days since we had been back. If it was going to carry on that way, then we needed to hold on to as many resources as we could.

“I wish it was as simple as letting them in the pack. They don’t want to be, though. They’re rogues for a reason. They detest any kind of rule but their own. They are set on the idea that a werewolf should be able to decide its own fate based on its own decisions. I can respect that, but I wouldn’t choose it.”

I chewed my lip, turning the idea over in my head. “So we ask for something in return. That’s what the wolves did with the humans. They got virgins and crops in exchange for protection and magic to grow those crops. So we give the rogues shelter and supplies to grow their own food in exchange for their numbers.”

We needed numbers.

The vampires had them. We needed to beat the vamps.

“Numbers? You think they’ll fight with us?”

“If we make an oath with them. They have to fight with us against the vamps in exchange for the help we are giving them. It seems fair.”

“It does. Doesn’t mean they will honor their word, beautiful. Rogues are not wolves in that way,” Derik said, rubbing his hand up my leg.

The skin tingled where he touched, my mating link burning inside. It didn’t matter whether it was the heat; my body always reacted.

I nuzzled my face into his neck, his scent filling me with need.

My lips brushed against his skin as my canines dropped.

“Rogues turn you on, beautiful?” Derik breathed, turning his head so I could get better access.

“No. You do,” I said, then bit into him. My toxin leaked into his blood, and he sucked in a breath, fidgeting beneath me. I cupped the back of his head before fisting his hair in my hand so I had better access to his neck.

I wanted more of him.

I pressed my lips against him with the bite, his mating link flaring with mine. It caught on fire instantly, making me forget every worry that polluted my mind.

Until I felt the link again.

We weren’t alone in it.

I pulled back from Derik, sucking in a breath as the link throbbed in my head. I clutched it, cursing under my breath before narrowing my eyes on him.

“What was that?” I demanded.

Derik ran a hand through his hair, then cupped the back of his neck. Whatever it was, he didn’t want to tell me. That made me want to know more.

“I don’t know how to explain it to you without hurting you or freaking you out,” he admitted.

“I don’t care. I want it explained anyway.” I folded my arms over my chest and leaned against his desk, waiting.

I prodded at the link again, and he winced, pulling away.

I couldn’t help the hurt that pierced me when he did. Secrets got people killed, and I was not good with trusting people after being betrayed by my father and brother.

And now Derik was testing that? Tears wavered in my eyes at the way he shut me out, at the way his eyes and mind were guarded from me.

“I deserve to know whatever it is. I’m your mate,” I bit out.

Derik nodded, the guilt in his expression making the tension worse.

“You are my mate, beautiful, and that means everything to me. I don’t want to hurt you or make you feel anything negative. The idea of putting that in your head makes me hate myself for creating this situation,” Derik shook his head, his mouth pursing in a thin line.

I frowned at his confession. How bad was whatever he was hiding from me for him to think like that?

My anxiety tripled.

I clenched my hands tighter around my arms and let out a tense breath.

“Well, whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. Together. That’s what mates do, right? So just tell me so we can get over this distance you’re putting between us.”

Derik looked me over, then stood up and moved in front of me. He pulled my arms from being crossed tightly over my chest.

I looked up at him, his perfectly pouted lips with a prominent M, his shining eyes that looked terrified, his flawless skin with a shadow of stubble along his diamond-shaped jaw.

I raised my hand to rest gently on his face.

“Tell me, D. It’s worse not knowing. I can feel the strain in the mating link. I can feel that you are torn. I don’t want to feel that for you anymore than you would want that for me,” I said softly.

Derik closed his eyes and leaned into my touch, holding my hand against his face before kissing it and pulling me into his arms.

I went, holding him tightly, closing my eyes as my head rested against his chest.

“I turned a beta,” he whispered.

I stayed silent. What was I meant to say? Okay? What was an appropriate response when I had thought he was going to reveal some huge, terrifying news and instead, tells me there’s a new wolf?

It didn’t seem worthy of the build-up.

I leaned back from his embrace and frowned up at him. “Congratulations?” I said, not sure if that was what he was waiting for.

Derik smirked and shook his head.

“I forget you are not as familiar with our customs or laws.”

“And turning a beta is something I should be worried about?” I asked, trying to discern his feelings and mine in the link.

“I turned a human into a wolf through the bite, beautiful. That’s not the norm,” he explained.

I still didn’t understand the importance. I was jealous he had bitten someone else though. I knew how his bites felt.

“You bit someone else?” I frowned.

“To save their life. If I hadn’t, they would have died.”

“And you were worried about telling me that? I don’t understand, Derik.” I gripped the edges of the desk.

Derik sighed and stepped back. He pushed his hair back with both his hands, then turned to me. “Lorelai, I turned Ryleigh into a wolf to save her after childbirth. Now she’s my beta. A linked beta with access to everything in my head. She will die to make sure every single want and need I have is fulfilled,” he finally let the shoe drop.