The Ache

LORELAI

I spent the entire next two days with Zale and Enzi. I kept them with me at all times, refusing to leave even to eat. I couldn’t. Every time I thought I could handle it, my anxiety crept back in; the panic set in, and now even just using the bathroom was becoming an issue.

I wanted to be okay; I wanted to believe we were safe, but we weren’t. The vampires were silent—not attacking, not doing anything. That was worse than attacking because it meant we were in this strange limbo where we were almost happy but too scared to enjoy it.

I didn’t let anyone but the alphas be alone with the baby. The close inner circle, like my mom and Galen, Cain, and Beenie, were allowed supervised visits, but that was it. I had no idea what minds the vampires could twist, and I wasn’t risking it again.

I hadn’t seen Ryleigh or Vaughn. I knew they were close to birthing, and that I should visit, but I couldn’t yet. It wasn’t their fault that Adrenna got in, but it was their faces that I put to the incident, and that was hard to get past.

It was unreasonable and unfair, but my head wasn’t in the right space for logic. Only my alphas eased some of the fear; however, nothing but seeing their little faces together took it away.

“You need to come down to the dining hall, Little Luna. The wolves miss you,” Kai said, coming up behind me as I stared over the cribs. His arms wrapped around me, running over me, caressing me.

I leaned back into him as his lips pressed against my throat, his hand cupping the side of my face. His teeth grazed my flesh, and I shivered. They hadn’t bitten me since I’d turned. Not because they didn’t want to, but because Tabby said it could trigger the heat.

My body would overwhelm me and throw us all into that fire, one we can’t afford yet. It was already intense when they were inside me now, more so than when I was human, but I couldn’t risk us being vulnerable because I gave into the craving of their teeth claiming me.

They knew that too and respected it, but I felt the ache that kept them on the edge as well.

“Just say the word, Little Luna, and we can take care of that ache,” Kai whispered against my skin, kissing and licking over it as I sighed and sagged against him.

He held me tighter, and my eyes fluttered closed, the sensations of his touch begging me to give in, to let him take care of me. The mating bond was weak at the moment; without it, our connection was less because we hadn’t shared the bite or done any kind of aftercare.

We’d fucked, quick and hard; that was it. We hadn’t indulged in the kind of play that fed the link, and we were suffering for it, but I couldn’t let go.

“No one wants you to let go. We just want to look after you,” he said, his voice deep and gravelly as it vibrated against my skin. It prickled in response, and my canines dropped without meaning to.

The idea that they could be inside him was filling my mind, and when my thoughts drifted to him being inside me, my core ached in response. Hot desire swept through me until my will broke.

“I can’t leave them,” I said as I turned to him, finding his mouth. I kissed him feverishly with impatient strokes of my tongue against his. He took my lead, his mouth responding just as desperately.

His huge hand went to my head, holding me there as if he were scared I would run if he let go. Maybe I would, but not because I didn’t want him to keep going.

“I’m struggling here, Little Luna. The wolves may have missed you because your magic feeds them, but I miss you because you are the heart I now have in my chest. If you aren’t with me, then it doesn’t beat. We need this,” he said quietly, his voice revealing how broken he was.

I had been so selfish, only caring about what I needed, what I wanted, taking it and leaving, but he was in pain. Because the vamps were free, and he had a past that was probably making him as uptight as me, but if I was a good mate, I would know that already.

The shitty thing was that I wouldn’t take it back because I had gotten Zale back; we all had. So I had to be grateful for whatever cost came with it. We were alive; that was our starting point, and now, we could fix things.

“I’m sorry,” I breathed against his lips as he claimed them again. “I’ll try to be better for you.”

He growled against my mouth before pulling back, holding my jaw, and lifting me to his height so I had to meet his eyes with mine.

“You are already everything I need, Little Luna. I just want to spend some time with you, enjoying that fact, worshipping you for it.”

I swallowed at the emotion that clogged him, and I nodded, kissing him back.

“But I can’t leave them,” I said, looking down at my babies. They were silently sleeping, so peaceful and beautiful. Could I take the moments for myself when they could be in danger?

“I’ll stay with them, Spitfire. Go,” Brax said, walking into the room with his pants hung low, his top half naked. His abs glistened with sweat, his hair tied in a half-up-half-down, his blonde waves brushing his shoulders. I licked my lips at him, and he smirked.

“I’ll have my turn next; we’ll test out that new werewolf stamina.” He winked, and I grinned, then went to Kai who was so much bigger than me, curling into his naked chest. He tugged me through the door.

“Don’t leave the room. For anything,” I warned, and I heard Brax chuckle in response before Kai was pressing me against the hall wall, kissing me harshly. I moaned, relaxing into his hold, wrapping my arms around his shoulders as he lifted me by my thighs, pinning each one against his waist.

He ground against me, and I moaned, the feel of his cock teasing me, flaring my core to life. It had been dormant, quick flutters of life satisfying it enough for the last week, but this was different.

Kai’s hands were everywhere, awakening my skin nerve by nerve, caressing and seducing my body into the heart of the void we had between us. He tugged at my shirt and then my pants, but neither moved easily—my shirt was tucked into my leather pants.

He groaned and carried me to our room the next door over.

“I thought the change to these she-wolf clothes was hot as fuck, now I’m questioning everything,” he said, grinning as he dropped me on the bed and yanked my pants down my leg, getting them caught on my boots. I laughed, and he smirked at me, removing each boot slowly.

I leaned on my hands and watched him, licking my lips as the lava in my core simmered away, ready to explode into what I knew was going to be the best damn feelings I’d had in a while.

“The sound of your laugh has been missing from my ears lately, Little Luna. I miss that almost as much as I miss that fire in your eyes. Not the fight for survival fire, the one that I fell in love with the second you challenged me to fuck you against the rules the very first night we were together,” he said. He kneaded the flesh of my feet, massaging up my naked legs as I bit my lip, holding in the moan I knew he wanted.

He liked the challenge, and I wanted to give him everything he wanted just like he did for me. He smirked knowingly at me and pressed further into the muscle aches, up my calves, and my thighs before sliding up my body and pressing me back into the bed.

“I missed you too, Kai,” I breathed, pushing the black strands of hair out of the way so I could see his green eyes. They were so bright and alluring that they pulled me in.

I found his lips and pressed mine against them as he hovered above me, his thick cock pushing against my pussy. It throbbed with a foreign kind of desire, the one that took me over, and I met it with a thrust of my hips against him. He groaned against my mouth, kissing me back harder before his hands found the clasps of my shirt and ripped it from my body.

“We’re back to ruining perfectly good clothes, are we?” I teased. He just grinned before lowering to my breasts and grasping them, closing his mouth over the peaking bud. I gasped as pleasure shot through me, heading straight for my core. He sucked, nipped, and teased them as I writhed beneath him. He kept going until I was desperate for friction. He finally pulled away and gave me no room for a breath, kissing me again. Damn, I had missed this.

I clung to him, raking my nails down his back, stroking my tongue against his as I met his mouth. The room filled with our harsh breathing and the slight moans that left my lips between breaths. I wanted him so fucking badly; it had been too long since we had been together like this, and now my body was demanding it. I didn’t want to deny it. I tucked my leg under his and yanked him down so I could roll on top of him.

He didn’t let our mouths go, holding my face to his as I pulled his pants apart and freed his throbbing cock from them. I gripped his base and gave him a few strokes as he groaned. I smirked before kissing down his insane abs and torso. The muscles and strength that made him up were making my insides quiver in anticipation. He was one hell of a fine specimen, especially when he shuddered beneath me.

I tugged his pants off completely before lowering my lips to his cock as it leaked in front of me, the veins beneath my fingers pulsing with want. He put his hands behind his head, his lips parting as he watched.

“Still remember what you’re doing down there, Little Luna?” he taunted, and I smirked, knowing very well this was a very demanding craving of his. And knowing I could undo that smirk on his face as fast as he could steal mine.

“No,” I lied, teasing him back before covering his cock with my mouth, my hand at his base, my nails tickling his balls. He tightened beneath me, a breathy growl leaving him as his head fell back against his hands. Question that, Alpha.

I met my lips with my hand on his length, stroking him with wet, tight pulls of my mouth, my hand working his base and balls, the pre-cum coating my mouth, urging me on faster. I took him as far back as I could, his thickness swelling inside me before drawing back out with a swirl of my tongue and hollow cheeks.

“Fucking hell,” he said breathily, bucking into my mouth. His hand clamped on the back of my head, scrunching in my hair as he took over and fucked my mouth.

He was too big for me to take all at once now, but my hand kept working his base before he yanked me off, his eyes wild as he took in the sliver of pre-cum that rolled down my chin from the corner of my mouth. I smiled and swiped it up, licking it from my finger. He was over me in a second, pinning me to the bed as I laughed.

“See? Told you I didn’t know what I was doing,” I teased, and he shook his head.

“You know exactly what you do to me; that’s why you’re perfect for me,” he said, kissing my neck, down the heavy swell of my breasts, my stomach, and dipping between my thighs.

He didn’t give me a chance to taunt him like he had me about knowing what he was doing because his mouth was on me in seconds. I cried out, my hands fisted in the blankets as my back arched, pleasure and fire exploding through me. His hands gripped my ass, lifting my pussy to his face as he devoured it, licking and sucking as I bucked and writhed. It was so fucking intense; I couldn’t breathe or think. I was just lost, drowning in a sea of desire and need that was overwhelming me so damn fast.

“Kai! Fuck, please!” I begged as he stroked my clit again, his fingers buried inside me, working me into a bundle of nerves that I couldn’t release because he pulled away at the last second every time. My body ached with desperation, tight and wanting as I shuddered against his mouth, my thighs clamping on his head, my hands yanking at his hair. He growled against my pussy, the vibrations making the need worse.

Finally, he pulled back, kneeling. He wrapped his hands around my thighs, yanking me into him, and before I could say anything about needing him, he opened me wide. He slammed inside me, falling into me so damn deep, my orgasm erupted inside me. A scream ripped from my lips, and he smothered it with his kiss. I gasped against it, his body pounding into mine, harsh and demanding, his thick head hitting the spot inside me that undid me every damn time.

My orgasm ricocheted through me, leaving me damp and shaking as he claimed me over and over again. His hands gripped my hips, dragging me up and down the bed, onto his cock, burying himself so deep that it had the orgasm never leaving, only intensifying. I cried out, my fingers clutching at his hands that held me on him, the blankets, my breasts, anything they could to relieve the tension inside me. It was so intense.

“Breathe, Little Luna,” he said, kissing me. I let out a breath, a moan escaping with it.

“I can’t,” I whimpered, pleasure suffocating my airways.

It was such a mind fuck the way my body was so overwhelmed, but I liked it. I didn’t know it could be like this, fucking once I had turned and immersing myself in it, in him, rather than ticking it off my to-do list. I had been missing out. We all had.

“Worth the wait,” Kai muttered before licking over my nipple. I arched into the roughness of his tongue, a tortured sound falling from my lips as he rolled his hips against me.

Kai dragged me up to him, sitting me on his thighs and pumping me onto him with sure strokes as my pussy clamped down on him.

He groaned and wrapped his bulging arms around me, holding me against him and fucking me faster. He kissed my neck, his teeth teasing the flesh there. I knew what he wanted, but I couldn’t give in. He knew that too, only nipping lightly to tease his control.

“If you think this is intense, Little Luna, wait until my teeth are in you too and the heat hits. This one is going to be fun.” He nuzzled against me, still filling me with quick, precise strokes that made taking in his words hard to do.

I shook around him, the tightness in my core winding up again—not that it really ever left. I pulled his lips to mine, tugging at his lip with my teeth. My claws extended as they dug into his shoulder.

I moved my hips, meeting each thrust of his, urging him faster as I took my orgasm from him, desperate for another eruption to relieve the pressure.

“Come with me, Kai. I need to feel you in me,” I said, and he groaned before pumping faster, his grip on my waist tightening. He threw me back down and pistoned his hips down on me, pushing my thighs to my body, my knees crushed to my chest while he fucked me as deeply as I needed to let go.

And then we were releasing together. His growl shook the room, his chest vibrating as he filled me with his hot cum, my pussy clutching his, sucking him dry.

My orgasm ripped from me, my voice hoarse as I screamed his name. The tension dissolved into pleasure, and liquid heat ribboned through me, flushing my body of all the stress and relieving every ache and pain.

The desperation in my veins faded to nothing as the sated feeling took over, and I sighed, sagging back into the bed. Kai breathed hard over me, holding himself up and releasing my thighs. They lowered, resting on either side of his waist.

“You’re bigger,” I breathed.

He grinned. “You hadn’t turned yet. Now that you have, we’re more powerful. Our form reflects that,” he said, swelling his cock inside me. I gasped at the feeling, and he smirked. I went to move, but he kept me pinned.

“Kai—”

“No way, Little Luna. I’m not finished taking care of you,” he said before kissing me softly. He moved his lips down my body, licking and kneading my muscles like the aftercare when the heat had happened.

“Kai, you don’t have to. It’s not the heat,” I said, but he ignored me, kissing down to my still pulsing pussy. He kissed it before going to the bathroom.

“Don’t move.”

I raised a brow and leaned up on my elbows.

“Kai?”

“I said don’t move.” He shook his head with a smile. We both knew it didn’t matter what he said; if I didn’t want to do it, I probably wasn’t going to do it.

He used a warm linen cloth to wipe the sweat from my body. He rinsed it out in the bowl he brought with him, cleaning up his cum.

I lay back, watching, my heart in my throat as he cleaned me up. He kept going until I was sated, clean, and happy before he grabbed some oil from a glass bottle next to the bed.

“Isn’t that lube?” I smirked.

He nodded. “Turn over.”

“Don’t move, turn over. So bossy, Kai.”

He grinned before flipping me because I wasn’t doing as he asked. I laughed and lay down on my stomach as he smacked his hand across my ass. I sucked in a breath at the sting, then looked over my shoulder at him.

“Just one?” I teased, shaking my ass at him.

“For now.” He smiled back, and the light in his eyes made me feel all kinds of warmth. It had been a while since he’d worn that so freely. I did as he asked and lay down on my stomach, not moving, moaning when he poured the oil onto me and started massaging.

He covered me from head to toe in oil, massaging my shoulders, my back, my legs, and my ass until I was more relaxed than I’d been in, well, forever. I almost fell asleep there, letting him turn my body and heart to mush.

He whispered sweet nothings as he worked, kissing my head and cheek every now and then.

I had been missing more than I’d thought.

We hadn’t had a chance to enjoy all being mated, Brax included, and that was on me. I should have given us time for this.

Even though I was with Kai, I knew Derik and Brax were there, hovering in the link. The connection was so much stronger, their desire and love so bright there, brighter than it had been in over a week.

I hadn’t realized how important it was, how much we needed to put in to keep the mating connection at its best. I knew now.

“I’m sorry,” I said, stopping him and turning so I could look at him, emotion filling me, tears prickling in my eyes. He shook his head.

“Don’t be. We’re here now, we got him back. It was worth it,” Kai reassured, but I still felt bad that I’d had them all at arm’s length, tunnel vision clouding my decisions.

“I should’ve been more present in the link. I didn’t realize how this works. I do now,” I admitted, and he kissed me, pulling me into him. Not in a sexual way—more comforting—but our bodies were quick to respond despite that not being the point.

“You’re new to this, we knew that. We wanted him back too, Little Luna. We’re okay now,” he said, holding me against him and kissing the top of my head. Stray tears fell, and I stroked his chest, the dark golden skin glistening from the oil I was putting over him.

“Lie down,” I said, sitting up. He frowned and raised a brow.

“You look mischievous.”

“On your stomach. I want to look after you too,” I said, and both eyebrows raised.

“You already do, Little Luna,” he said, leaning in for a kiss. I met his mouth and gave him a taste before pulling back.

“Please?”

He didn’t answer, just lay down on the bed, on his stomach. I grabbed the oil and climbed over him, pouring some on his back, his muscles flexing under the cold.

Then I pressed my hands into him, kneading the muscles into relaxation the way he had with me. I’d never given a massage before, especially not with a naked alpha who was almost double my size, but the sounds he made gave me confidence.

He groaned as my thumbs dug into his shoulder blades before stroking down the sides of his spine. I used my elbows on the tough spots before pressing my palms into his ass, working the muscles there too.

Once I had gone over his legs and moved back up his body, he rolled us, flipping me onto the blankets before finding my mouth and covering it with kisses that burned my body up.

“I wasn’t finished,” I murmured against him, and he grinned, pulling back slightly.

“Keep touching me like that and making my wolf extremely proud to be your mate, then we’re not going to be leaving this bedroom anytime soon, and I need to feed you,” he said before climbing off the bed, tugging me with him.

I smiled and kissed him as he carried us to the bathroom. He got a bath ready as I climbed in and waited for him. He was with me in a second, cleaning me off properly.

I should have been going to get food, but I kissed him again, and then I was on his cock, riding it slowly in the water. It was different though, not like before with the need so desperate in us both that we couldn’t slow down.

This time, we took our time. I kissed him, caressed him, played with him as he did the same. The finish line was a much neater affair as I buried my face into his neck, holding him as he held me, crushing each other as our orgasms swept us away.

It was just as intense as last time though, stealing my breath as I tried to contain the screams, whispering out his name as he kissed my shoulder.

He held my face, and I licked my lips, holding his wrists.

“This will be over, and we will be happy,” he promised, and I gave him a soft smile.

“I am happy, Kai. Just scared.”

“We all are. But the vamps haven’t attacked. Either your buddy system is working and the bloodlust isn’t hitting them like last time, or this is the calm before the storm.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” I sulked, leaning against him, trying not to give in to the doubt that plagued me. It was the nagging pit in my stomach that told me something was coming, that this wasn’t over, and we had so much more to go through.

I wasn’t sure if that meant there would be a happy ending or if the wolves would belong to the vamps by the end of it. All I knew was that I would die before I let anything hurt Zale and Enzi again.

“Let’s go eat, Little Luna. It’s no good wallowing on an empty stomach,” he said, standing up, taking me with him as he stepped out of the bath. He put me on the ground and wrapped me in a towel before tapping my ass out the door.

I grinned over my shoulder at him, ignoring the worries that filled me and trying to focus on the dulled happiness that my alphas and my babies gave me.

I had to, or I’d lose myself to those worries, and after feeling what I had with Kai, I knew I wouldn’t be just destroying myself. I’d break us all.