KNOT 27 - BLUE MOON

The hadanas and jursas stopped on their tracks and looked up at the sky. It was a rare night, a night when an extra full moon would appear that almost ruined the ecclesiastical calendar. The Blue Moon was going to adorn the sky and light the darkness. The betrayer moon was coming once again - the 13th full moon.

The ruler of the underworld roamed his gaze at the candles inside the Cave of Woes. His eyes then settled on one particular candle as its flame dances weakly. It was a sad sight that he was already used to seeing. But it was his responsibility to see it through.

Nine hundred years. It was a very long time ago when he extinguished the flame of Abelard to end his pain. It was his compassion. But his compassion lead to 22 years of sorrow for Heloise. Their fate was now going to be repeated, but with Dara leaving Jiyong. It was immensely saddening, but an inevitable truth. Jang Hyuk would once again mark the tragedy between Heloise and Abelard.

He still remembered Abelard's last words, 'I don't know'. A bitter smile crossed Jang Hyuk's face upon recalling his words. The humans on Abelard's deathbed didn't know that he was actually answering the question asked by the ruler of the underworld before his last breath. Jang Hyuk appeared on his deathbed and asked him to pick one memory of Heloise that he would want to take in the underworld. But that was his response. I don't know.

It was a pity that he was not able to understand what Abelard meant by his answer. He also didn't have the chance to ask. Because once the soul is taken, the memories of their human life do not come along with them. Memories of their pain, and memories of their love.

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The spoon slipped on CL's hand and her heart suddenly felt heavy, as if something ominous was about to happen. She picked up the spoon and placed it on the kitchen sink, her chest still constricting in pain for reasons unknown to her. When she turned around, she saw Hadana Bom standing in a near distance, staring at her with tears brimming on her eyes.

"Bom? What's the matter?" She asked as she strode towards the hadana. Bom forced herself to smile while wiping the side of her eyes.

"Nothing. I was just thinking how fortunate I am to be able to know you." She heaved a deep sigh and cast her gaze downwards, wrapping CL's hands with hers and squeezing them. "Lee Chaerin, remember what I am about to tell you", she said, her eyes still focused on their entwined hands. "The world is not as cruel as they made you believe it to be. You can stop acting strong when you need to be weak. It is exhausting to always betray what you feel; even a warrior lowers his sword to be able to rest."

"What are you saying?"

Bom met CL's gaze, a tiny smile forming on her lips. "I mean, you are already a beautiful and confident woman. Taking off the mask will not make you any less of the person that you already are. And if you feel like your world is about to crumble, you need not stand on your ground and grit your teeth to show that you are strong. All you need is the right shoulder to lean on."

CL stared at the hadana, not knowing how to respond. Suddenly, Bom gathered her on her arms and hugged her tightly.

"B-Bom?"

"It has been a very lovely journey with you, my friend", Bom said.

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Holding the small candle in his hand, the ruler of the underworld stepped out of the Cave of Woes. His steps halted when Jae Sang and Yang Goon suddenly appeared before him, blocking his path.

"Nine hundred years, Jang Hyuk", Jae Sang said. "Nine hundred years of journey and yet, they have to suffer again."

"This is their end. I have to fulfill my oath", Jang Hyuk said.

"Your oath is to take her soul, not make her pass through the gate of the underworld", Yang Goon countered. "You have mentioned that you are capable of lighting the candle and give a second chance to a mortal. Why not choose Heloise?"

"Is that your intention for stealing the candle before?" The ruler of the underworld asked, surprising him. "You are not a thief, Yang Goon. The power of your red string lingered on the candle and that was how I was able to know who stole it from the Cave of Woes. Isn't your intention to know if you will be able to light the candle yourself?"

"Yes", the lunar matchmaker god responded. "If I am capable, I will."

Jang Hyuk looked up at the sky, a deep crease forming in his forehead. "Now I understand why you chose this night. Why you made me oath to get her soul after two full moons", he said. "Tonight is a blue moon where your ethereal power, being the lunar matchmaker god, is at its mightiest. Sadly, even the betrayer moon will not be able to help you light this candle."

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Jiyong heard the hotel staff calling him, but he ignored them. His heart was hammering inside his chest painfully as he dashed out of the elevator and ran towards the door.

To: Kwon Jiyong

From: Sandara Park

Subject: To my cyborg hubby

I sincerely pray that I'm still alive while you're reading this. I pray that I will have a chance to thank you for taking care of my heart and to apologize for breaking yours.

He was running with all his might, his lungs burning from lack of air towards where Dara was lying. The noise of his surrounding, the movements and murmurs of the people - they were like faraway sounds from a nightmare that he was a part of. Irritating noises. Why wouldn't they stop?

I don't know if I will be granted that chance, and I don't know if I'll have the courage to say goodbye before anything happens, that's why I chose to write this.

There were a lot of things between us that were mystifying. And this is one of them. I found out by accident that I was supposed to pass away when we were still tied together ,but I was given the opportunity to live longer. At first, I was furious, thinking that they should have taken my life before I fell in love with you. But I realized how stupid I was to say that.

Falling in love with you was wonderful.

Why the hell does the street seem so far away? Jiyong's gaze was focused forward, pushing aside anyone who was blocking his path.

I know that you always wake up earlier than me and watch me sleep. But do you know that I always sleep later than you and watch your peaceful face as you sleep? I promised you I'd stop your nightmares, and I'm so glad I did. I also know that you removed peanut butter from our grocery list and replaced it with strawberry jam because that's what I like. You're the only one who knew I was not okay when I was pretending that I was fine. You're the only one who tolerated me despite my annoying miu-miu sound. You're the only guy for me, Jiyong. I've never wanted anyone so much that it hurts. I wanted to say I'll love you forever, but my forever will soon end.

Jiyong bit his bottom lip as he finally caught sight of Dara. Damn it. Why did this have to happen? What had they done wrong to deserve this? There were so many questions running in his mind - questions that would remain unanswered. He felt a stabbing pain in his heart as he stared at her lifeless form. Cheeseball. His steps were heavy as he strode towards her. Dara...

I'm sorry I wasn't able to stay and build our future. I'm sorry we can't grow old together. I'm sorry for giving you memories that you would want to forget. I love you so much. I hope some day you will stop missing me. I hope some day, when I cross your mind, you will still be able to smile.

But Dara was wrong. The day when he would stop missing her wouldn't come...even if he replaces strawberry jam with peanut butter once again.

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The orange sky was already replaced by darkness, and the stars arose from their hiding place. The white butterfly continued flying up and down, playing with the soft breeze that touched its wings. It swooped over Dara's body lying on the street before settling on her hand. Finally, a good place to rest.

Jin-hyuk opened the car, his eyes slightly unfocused. He smacked his mouth multiple times, wetting his dry lips. He chuckled when he saw Dara on the ground, his heart pumping in an unusual pace. The drugs that he took made everything funny. He felt invincible. He felt like he could do anything.

His head whipped to the side when someone punched him. Even the pain in his body made him laugh. He was slammed on the hood of the car, and he felt his hands being tied behind him. It was hilarious. Everything was hilarious. So he laughed like a madman amidst the chaos.

The butterfly spread its wings and closed it again - not yet ready to leave the resting place that it had found. Dara's finger moved slightly, but the butterfly remained on its spot. It was a warm place - the spot that it had found. But it was gradually becoming cold.

"D-Dara", a broken voice, one that was in great pain, was heard. Jiyong saw the pool of blood surrounding her body. He wanted to call her name again, to tell her that everything would be fine, that help was on its way, and that he would do everything to take her suffering away... but no voice came out of his mouth. His knees wobbled and he slumped near her, his hands trembling as he carefully brushed the strands of hair away from her face. A sob rose in his throat upon seeing her pale face, her eyes tightly shut.

A soft breeze blew as the white butterfly opened its wings and prepared to fly. Perhaps...it was time for her to say goodbye.

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The blue moon finally made an appearance; the extraordinary traitorous moon that could only be witnessed in some years. It was a rare event - one that was suitable for Heloise.

The sound of ringing chime bells and the sound of gong were heard across the deity's realm. They were now being summoned by their ascendants. One by one, the hadanas disappeared in a glittery white smoke while the jursas vanished in a swirling black smoke. The time had come. The tragic love story of the destined couple was coming to an end.

***

Jiyong tightly held the steel bar of the wheeled stretcher being pushed by the emergency staff. His father already got Jin-hyuk arrested, and he was probably the one who notified Seungri of the situation. It was actually irritating - the fact that everyone was there and were looking at him like they were waiting on what he was going to do next. Dara was going to survive, so why were they looking at him with pitiful eyes?

***

Jursa Seunghyun stood stiffly on the hill overlooking Dara's university, which was the place where they became mortals. He heard footsteps approaching and when he turned around, he saw Hadana Bom making her way towards him.

"Did you hear it?" He asked. "Did you hear the ascendants' summons?"

"Yes, I heard it too. You know what this means, jursa", she said somberly.

Without uttering a word, Seunghyun lifted his gaze and stared at the night sky. A swirling white glittery smoke began accumulating on Hadana Bom's feet while a swirling black smoke started to engulf the jursa's body.

It was time for them to leave.

***

"Hyung", Seungri called him but Jiyong remained unresponsive. He was just standing in front of the operating room, clutching the strawberry backpack in his hand and staring at the red light on top of the door. CL was sobbing in a near distance, her face planted in her palms. Youngbae and Daesung were there as well; both had their eyes cast downwards.

"Hyung", Seungri repeated.

"I'm fine", he mumbled, not even giving him a glance.

***

The ruler of the underworld stepped out of the blaze of fire and walked slowly while holding the small candle. His steps halted in front of the door as he saw Jiyong - Abelard, half of the tragic destined couple.

The flame on the candle swayed and the light was now dimming. Jang Hyuk walked right through the door and proceeded to Dara's body. The surgeons and nurses were all over her, trying to make her hold on to the tiny hope of surviving. He stared at the candle and slowly, the flame was consumed and what remained was a thin line of smoke.

"Sandara Park, come with me", he commanded. There was a beeping sound and then, a straight line was seen in the monitor. Amidst the urgent movements of the doctors, Dara's soul left her body and stood beside Jang Hyuk. Her sorrowful eyes were focused forward, not having any memory of why she was leaving with a heavy heart.

The ruler of the underworld started walking, with Dara following his steps beside him. They stepped right through the door and came face to face with Jiyong. Jang Hyuk paused for a moment and settled his gaze on him, but he soon continued with his steps - both Dara and Jang Hyuk walking past Jiyong.

They were already in a distance when Jang Hyuk stopped on his tracks and glanced back at Jiyong who was still waiting in front of the door. He then shifted his gaze to Dara, who didn't even look back at the person she was leaving behind. It was a sorrowful sight - the destined couple, whose backs were facing each other, not knowing that one was leaving and the other one was still waiting.

But time doesn't slow down for anyone. Time doesn't stop. Life goes on. Sadly, no one can freeze one moment of their life and make it their happy ending.

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It had never happened before. A sight so rare that the ruler of the underworld stopped and roamed his gaze around.

The path towards the gate of the underworld was lined up with hadanas on the right side and jursas at the left. All the string-keeper deities and trickster deities gathered to give Sandara Park a lovely death as the lunar matchmaker god wished.

Dara felt it again, the heaviness in her heart, as if something was missing. She looked at the old stone arch in a distance, and she instantly knew that the gate was the entrance to the place where she needed to be.

A soft wind blew, and the trees in the netherworld rustled as their branches danced with the breeze. As Jang Hyuk and Dara slowly walked down the path, the hadanas started throwing their ethereal orbs and flowers began blooming on their every step. The jursas threw their ethereal orbs and a soft music enveloped them.

The lunar matchmaker god and Old Man Coyote appeared on their path, their eyes solemn. Jang Hyuk and Dara walked past them, their gazes focused forward - towards the gate of the underworld which would mark Heloise's end.

***

There were no tears falling from his eyes anymore, no emotion written on his face. He just stood there...waiting. He knew she'll come back. He knew she'd come back and annoy her with her cheesy pick-up lines. She would call him hubby and he would pretend not to care. She would torture him with her KDrama marathons and he would be there with a box of tissue ready.

She will come back.

The cheeseball who made him smile again, the girl who made him eat his first hamburger. They had to go to Jeju again. He had to check the flight schedule. He would arrange for a vacation and spend time with her.

She will come back and make more memories with him.

Maybe he could surprise her with a ticket to Lee Minho's fan meet? She would definitely like it. He could already picture her excited smile and her irritating fangirl squeals.

She will come back and he will tease her again about Lee Minho's permed hair.

The door to the operating room opened. His heart raced as one of the doctors approached him.

"I'm sorry. We did our best but..."

She will come back. She has to.

***

She felt it again. A force as if preventing her to move forward. But she had to pass through the gate.

The sound of the melancholic music continued, and flowers kept sprouting on the path where they walked. Indeed, everything was beautiful. But the small candle in Jang Hyuk's hand remained unlit.

***

He stood there, frozen on his spot. She's not coming back. His chest constricted in pain. It hurt too much that he began to question if what was happening was real or not.

"C-Can I talk to her?" Jiyong asked in a raspy voice.

"She's gone, Mr. Kwon", the doctor repeated somberly.

"W-Well then, make her come back", Jiyong said flatly, clearly not accepting the situation.

She's gone? Where? She was inside that damn white room that smelled of disinfectant. She was probably scared and was now looking for him.

"We're sorry."

"Hyung", Seungri reached for him.

"I'm okay", he whispered, clutching the strawberry backpack tightly in his hand, not meeting anyone's eyes. "I'm okay."

"No, hyung... You're not okay", Seungrihugged him tightly. "You're not okay."

Writer's Note:

*sob sob