Knot My Sin: Chapter 19

“Iwant to take you somewhere,” Ambrose says tentatively a week after he and the alphas gave me my courting gift.

What does it say about me that I felt a thrill, learning that the alphas who hurt me were dead? It made me feel a little safer, knowing that they couldn’t hurt me anymore. The fact that they must have screamed while my alphas tortured them somehow made it even better.

“Where?” I ask, looking up at him from my curled up position on the outside swing.

Slowly over the last few days, lawn furniture has started to be built in the backyard. The swing is only one new item, and I wonder what they’re up to.

“I want to take you out on a date, just us,” he says with a lopsided smile. His hair is neatly tied back, and I remember how gorgeous it was when it was wet in the shower. Fuck, why is he so hot?

His smile just grows wider as he smells my perfume, but he doesn’t needle me about it.

“That sounds fun,” I admit. “What should I wear?”

The weather has been really beautiful lately, the sun shining and it’s warmer out.

“There’s a few sundresses in your closet now,” he says, blushing. “Maybe one of those and a pair of converse?”

I want to look nice for him, so I bite my lip and nod. Ambrose gives me a smile back, leaning in to pull my lip free to kiss me. He’s not as grumpy as Shaw usually is, but I’m noticing that Ambrose is slowly becoming more relaxed around me.

“I’ll go change now,” I tell him, standing.

“I’ll be in the kitchen, grabbing us some car snacks,” he says lightly. “I’ll even share my cheese.”

Snorting as I walk inside, I shake my head as I remember how much he flipped out when I accidentally ate his cheese. That seems like a lifetime ago. Walking through the house, I notice Shaw working on the computer in the office, Flynn baking in the kitchen, and Everest on the phone.

I love just watching them do everyday things, as silly as that sounds. It gives me a glimpse into their lives, even if I’m not in the middle of it. They all work so cohesively, even when they’re doing separate things.

Trailing my fingers up the mahogany of the banister as I walk upstairs, I move into my room excitedly. Lately, I’ve been sleeping in the ‘pack’ bedroom, with each member of the pack taking a turn to sleep curled around Flynn and I. He and I always fall asleep next to each other, and then Everest, Ambrose, and Shaw find their way into bed.

Sometimes, we all go to bed at the same time, while other times, one or several of them are working late. I’m getting the impression that their boss is a bit stressed out for some reason and is cleaning up a mess.

It’s not my business, so I refuse to put my nose where it isn’t wanted. Opening the closet door, I smile as I flick on the light and see a lavender dress with yellow flowers, another appears to be an off the shoulder red dress with tiny white flowers, and the last is a burnt orange spaghetti strapped dress, that also appears to be tea length.

Thinking it over, I decide on the lavender dress because it’ll be cute with my black converse shoes.

Dressing quickly, I decide against a bra, because it’s tight enough around the bust to hold them. They’re not large by any standards, and I’ve decided I don’t like bras. Moving to the bathroom, I brush my teeth and try to figure out what to do with my hair.

I’ve never used makeup or anything because Trey wanted me to be naturally beautiful. However, my hair was one thing I learned quickly how to do.

Twisting my dark locks into a fishtail braid, I decide this is good enough. Turning, I shriek when I see Flynn leaning against the door with a smirk. His eyes grow wide as he chuckles at me.

“Sorry, Little One. I didn’t mean to scare you. You look beautiful,” he says. “Why did you look frustrated a moment ago?”

Shrugging, I sigh. “I don’t know if I look done up enough,” I explain.

Flynn looks confused before he shakes his head, linking his fingers in mine to tug me into his arms. “Do you know how many girls have tried to throw themselves at our alphas over the years?” he asks. I shrug in response and he chuckles.

“Tons, because they think that our alphas want babies, little people to carry on their line. The mafia is ridiculous with their standards and ideas, but Corbin doesn’t hold to them. He believes love is love. Every one of those girls were made up, wore tiny outfits, and you know what?”

“No, what?” I breathe.

“I was insanely jealous until they told me about all the reasons as to why they weren’t interested. These girls were little plastic dolls, and our alphas want an omega who is real,” he explains. “They want you. Flyaways, no makeup, gorgeous touchable skin, and perfect handfuls of your ass to hold while they cuddle. That’s it.”

Flynn runs his nose up my neck, scent marking my jaw as he snuggles against me.

“Mmmm. Lemon and custard,” he groans. “Thank God I have some blueberry custard cake in the fridge for when you get back. It has a touch of lemon to it, and I’m really excited to see how it turned out.”

“You’re amazing,” I say in awe. “You really are okay with this?”

“Absolutely. You deserve dates and fun,” Flynn says. “Have fun, live a little, and remember they already adore you. Even outside of genetics, they’re already yours.”

Pulling me with him, as he walks toward the door exiting into the hallway, he drops a kiss on my forehead.

“Don’t doubt yourself, Darling. Push them around, make them grovel, because they deserve it. They won’t run. They like a little competition,” he says with a smirk. “Their nature demands it. The best kills, Penis Picasso, who made it to the top of the drive. They’re adorable idiots.”

I giggle as I remember the photo of disfigured penises. They are very adorable. I don’t care if I’m odd for thinking it’s a sweet gift.

Walking together down the stairs, he gently squeezes me as we see Amb standing at the base of the steps with his mouth open, a lunch bag dangling from his fingertips.

“Wow,” he mutters. “My knot is definitely going to be blue today. Honey, you look incredible.”

“Told you so,” Flynn chuckles under his breath.

I can’t stop smiling as I reach the bottom stair and Amb steals me away from our omega.

“All mine,” he rumbles, brushing his lips against mine. I swallow back a whimper because I want more, though I should have worn scent blocking panties as well, because my body gives me away.

I don’t have to hide, though. Not from them.

“Oh yeah?” Amb rumbles with a mischievous grin. “Mmm, we’re going to have fun. We’re leaving! Don’t burn down the house.”

“Take care of our girl,” Shaw says sternly, his eyes greedily taking me in.

“Goddamn,” Everest mutters. “You’d need the virtue of a saint to withstand that dress.”

My lips twitch as Ambrose ushers me out of the house. The wind blows my dress around my thighs as I walk, making me giggle as I attempt to keep it from blowing up.

“It shouldn’t be as windy where we’re going,” Ambrose says sheepishly, rubbing his neck as he opens the garage door to reveal a sleek black truck.

Ambrose opens the passenger side door, and then wraps his hands around my waist to lift me into the seat. My breath escapes in surprise as he smirks at me. He’s strong, isn’t apologetic about it, and is flexing his gentleman skills. It’s really hot.

“It’s just a door, honey,” he teases me as he puts on my seatbelt as well. It’s so much more than that, and I can feel my eyes prick with tears as I watch him close the door and walk around the truck.

I feel cherished, cared about, and there’s not been very much of that in my entire miserable life. Forcing a shuddering breath into my lungs, I stare out the window as I struggle to get my emotions under control. They’ve been shifting like the wind outside, and I’ve never been like this before.

Control has always been the way that I’ve stayed alive. No tears, no stray noises, no mistakes. Anything less led to punishment at Trey’s hand.

No thank you.

Ambrose opens the truck door and climbs in, pressing the push to start button to turn on the vehicle. Swallowing hard, I try to get my breathing and tears under control. I’m supposed to be having fun, not falling apart because he was fucking nice to me.

Ambrose gives the truck a little gas, quiet as he drives. I almost wish he’d chatter or put the radio on, because even my breaths feel too loud as I gulp in air.

“So, did I do something wrong?” he asks carefully. “Your scent is a little off, and Shaw is currently yelling at me through our bond asking why you feel so sad.”

“I…” How do I explain this without sounding insane?!

My nose is starting to run to make matters worse, making me sniffle as a wayward tear makes its lonely path down my face.

“Fuck, I made you cry, didn’t I? God, I haven’t courted anyone in ten years. I suck at this, honey, I’m sorry,” he grumbles.

Turning, I shake my head, wishing my hair was down so I could hide behind it.

“No,” I deny, sighing. “I’m over sensitive. You’re so sweet lifting me into my seat and everything, and it made me think of how much I’ve missed. I haven’t had anyone make me feel like I’m…”

“Everything?” he asks wryly. Ambrose keeps his eyes on the road as he reaches out and links his fingers in mine. “Wren, that’s what you are to us, for me. Knowing we threw a part of ourselves away will never stop torturing us. We fucked up, and you deserved better. You need a place for yourself, comforts to make you feel at peace, all the things omegas need to center themselves.”

“I don’t need stuff though,” I tell him, shaking my head. The last thing I need is for them to think that I want them for their money. None of that matters to me.

Being rich doesn’t make someone a good person, just look at Trey.

“Wren,” Ambrose chides. “Omegas crave safe spaces. It’s in their DNA, honey. You’re twitchy at times in the house, you stare out the window all day long, your instincts are trying to tell you there’s something wrong. If not wrong, maybe missing is a better word.”

“I don’t think there’s anything else that I need,” I tell him, but the words taste like ash in my mouth. I have to keep myself from making a face, because of how awful it feels.

“Mmhmm,” he grunts. The truck makes its trek down to the gate, making me sigh. “Look, I don’t think we should lie to each other, Wren. Would you like to try again?”

The way he says that makes my lips twitch as I brush away the tear that finally slips off my jaw. I really hate leaking so much.

“I don’t feel like I deserve anything extra,” I finally say, realizing it’s true. Ambrose turns the wheel so hard, I scream as he dramatically turns the truck in a circle.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now,” he snarls, looking over at me once he rocks to a stop. His usually perfect hair is falling out of his bun and into his face, his dark eyes wild. “Why do you feel that way? How? You’re gorgeous, have a bit of sass that I can’t wait to see come out more, and you’re not afraid of our darker sides anymore.”

“I was afraid every alpha was abusive,” I murmur. “You could have been anyone, and the fear would have been there either way.”

“Okay,” he says slowly, leaning back in his chair to push his hair off his face. Unfortunately, it just seems to find a way to flop back. The longer hair and facial scruff just manages to make his features appear sharper somehow. “I’m going to say this, then. You are allowed to reach for things you think aren’t yours. Want more, take it with both hands and never let it go. You know what, fuck this.”

Pulling out his phone, he chews on his lip. “What are you good at, honey? Or rather, what do you like to do?”

“That’s the thing,” I sigh. “I have no idea. I haven’t been allowed to have a single wish, dream or want for myself that didn’t revolve around my alpha.”

“Not yours,” he grunts. “We belong to you. The alpha who hurt you I have plans to make into pig food as soon as possible. Maybe I’ll make sure he’s alive when we throw him in.”

His musings make me shake my head as I listen to him. Trey is too well protected. There’s no way they’ll find him.

“No one knows where he lives,” I tell him. “The man is a recluse.”

His fingers fly over the keys as he texts someone.

“How do you feel about taking an aptitude test? It’ll help you find out what you excel in, and then we can enroll you into a school or help you find a job in that area,” he says. “I would offer to just open a bank account in your name, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t touch it.”

He’s right. Probably.

“I love this idea,” I tell him with wide eyes. “Thank⁠—”

“Don’t thank me,” Ambrose murmurs with a small smile. “One of us really should have thought of this sooner. Flynn takes cooking classes twice a week with a renowned chef because his passion lies there. He doesn’t care about making money, since we have more than enough of it, but I want to give you access to whatever you want. There’s so much that can be done virtually, there’s no reason not to.”

I hear what he doesn’t say, and I agree. I can’t exactly be a normal omega and go to school or work on a normal day job because it’s not safe. Even if Trey was dead, I still wouldn’t want to. This house is as protected as I can get, and I’ve been getting more comfortable here.

“I think we’re all trying to figure out what the next steps are,” I say carefully. He’s being absurdly sweet right now, and I’m trying hard to meet him where he’s at. It’s not every day you find yourself adding an omega to an established pack.

“Yes, but we’re still doing a shit job at it,” he grumbles, pressing on the accelerator pedal to get us moving again. Once the truck is no longer facing the wrong direction, he continues. “You lost so much, it’s hard to wrap my head around it all. I’ll get better, I promise.”

How can I tell him that he already is? Just accepting the fact that I am the way I am and finding ways to help me fit back into the world I left ten years ago is more than I could ever imagine.

The world feels really big as we drive through the gates and onto the road. There aren’t many cars around us, I notice, and as the minutes tick by, it doesn’t seem like a highway that’s traveled much by people.

Ambrose turns on the radio to music I don’t recognize, and I allow myself to really think about how much time has passed over the ten years. I’m careful to keep my thoughts neutral, because I don’t want to worry anyone.

I don’t know any of the current trends, some of the slang feels foreign to me, and the music may as well be from another planet. I’m ignorant of who the president of the United States is, or why I should even care about his or her politics. Life and the world left me behind when I was sold.

It’s a sobering thought to have all of this hitting me at once, because I’ve been struggling to just survive to the next moment. I suppose in that light, it still doesn’t really matter. It just feels as if the world has left me behind. I guess I need to decide how I want to reintroduce myself to it.

“Hmm, I love this song,” Ambrose murmurs. I turn to ask him a question, anything about the singer, when he begins to sing the song. My jaw drops because he knows every word, and it’s an upbeat tune.

Ambrose’s voice is deep and rich, and sounds as if it’s used to singing.

“You’ll catch flies that way, honey,” he says with a laugh. I don’t know this side of him, but damn do I want to see more.

My teeth clink shut as I blink at him.

“Will you sing some more for me?” I ask him.

“Of course,” he says. “Road trip singing is the best. We’ll be on the road for a bit.”

I didn’t ask him where we were going, but as I lean back to listen to him, it doesn’t seem so important any more. The time flies by with the miles, until he turns off at an exit.

Mankato, Minnesota.

I grew up in Illinois, so I don’t know much about Minnesota. Trey, though, lives in this state, not that he told me much about it either. It’s beautiful, though, full of tall trees and greenery.

“Sometimes, when my world feels a bit off, I go somewhere to recalibrate myself,” Ambrose murmurs.

My startled look makes him chuckle, because while he’s growly and grumpy, he also has a great poker face. Working for the mafia, I guess he’d need to.

“We are going to explore nature together,” he says, following the signs for the park. I sit in awe as he rolls down the window and talks to the park ranger for a moment as to how safe the trails currently are at the gate before paying the fee for the day and moving on.

Shivering, I remember exactly what kind of damage the rain can cause in the forest, and while it hasn’t rained where the pack lives, it has been raining here.

“We should be good to go,” Ambrose says with a grin as he drives into the Minneopa State Park. “Have you ever seen a waterfall, honey?”

“I haven’t,” I tell him, starting to feel excited.

What would it be like to be near something so big?

I’ve read about them in science magazines and such, but I’ve never seen one in person.

Finding a spot, Ambrose sets the truck in park, and climbs out, pulling his hair from his tie as he rolls his eyes and tosses it back into the truck.

My lips split in a wide grin to watch as he slams the door closed and walks around to help me out of the truck. Ambrose looks even more dangerous with a short-sleeved black shirt and jeans on, his hair wild around his shoulders. His clothes stretch to fit the alpha underneath, and his strength is obvious just by looking at him.

Who would have thought this alpha would love the outdoors so much, and reminds me to find what settles me. Each of my alphas is so different, has so many facets and layers, it’s enough to make my heart swell. He wasn’t jealous when he was with Everest and I, his words about wanting to bond me during my heat ringing in my ears.

Sneaky alpha. How can I want to tell a doctor I want to banish my heats forever when I want Ambrose too? My life is confusing.

“Stop thinking so much, little omega,” he says with a smirk as he opens the truck door. Shaking myself as if in a daze, I unbuckle my seatbelt, sliding into his arms as if I’ve always done this. Ambrose wraps his arms around my body tightly, slowly allowing me to slide down him.

God, I may self combust.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, kissing my lips hard until I whine just for him. “I love your noises, the way you smell and taste. You’re just perfect for us.”

“I’m starting to see that,” I whisper, the words coming unbidden. God, there goes that careful control.

“I’m glad. Come walk with me? We have lots to explore,” Ambrose tells me, taking a step back so he can pull me with him to close the truck door.

As we walk, I see other families and people walking as well, no one paying attention to us. It’s so nice to be anonymous. Any anxiety I may have had about being outside of the gate seems to melt away with every step as I take in the beauty.

Together, Ambrose and I explore the trails, and he points out different wildlife as we walk.

“If we walk down that way, we may see bison,” he says conspirally with a wink.

“No way, really?” I gasp. “Can we? I mean, do we have to be back soon?”

We drove for almost an hour and a half, so I don’t know if he needs to be back at a certain time.

“Nope, I’m yours for the entire day,” he says with a smile.

Together, we walk to where there’s open fields, and see other people who are also trying to catch a glimpse of the bison. There’s a guide who walks us deeper into the park, explaining how many bison are currently living on the property, as well as how they do what they want.

Ha! I love that even within this beautiful park, they still manage to keep their autonomy. A snort surprises me to my left, and I see a gorgeous animal with short tusks.

“That’s the female,” Ambrose murmurs in the shell of my ear. I can’t move, but not because I’m scared. She’s just so beautiful.

“Wow,” I breathe.

We stand there until she moves on, and I feel giddy over the experience.

“That was so cool,” I squeal, meeting Ambrose’s wide grin with mine.

“I knew you’d love this,” he says, almost relieved.

I feel a pang of regret, because he’s trying so hard. I’m a fairly unassuming omega. It doesn’t take much typically to make me happy, probably because I’ve had to survive on so little my entire life.

“I really love it,” I confirm, taking his arm as he walks with me.

“I want to walk you up to the waterfalls before I need to feed you. I refuse to listen to your tummy rumble,” he teases me.

Biting my lip, I tell my stomach to stay quiet, because I am starting to get hungry. I’m not ready to leave yet. I’m having too much fun.

Walking together, I think one of the best moments of my entire life is seeing the waterfall once as I walk across the little bridge, and again from the bottom of it as I look up at it.

Ambrose stands behind me with his arms around my waist as I lean against him, holding my breath in awe.

“Breathe, honey. The waterfall won’t mind,” he says softly in my ear, chuckling. I huff at how silly he is, but his mission is accomplished, I’m breathing normally again. “Any problems you have seem smaller here, huh?”

“Yeah, they really do,” I murmur. We stand together, just watching, and then Ambrose surprises me once again.

“If I don’t get any photos of us here, the guys will kick my ass, honey. Save my hide, yeah?” Ambrose asks, looking sheepish.

I can’t deny him anything as we move, so that the waterfall is behind us, and he pulls out his phone to take a selfie. Smiling broadly together, I notice how flushed my cheeks are from both exercise and the sun. I almost look healthy as he snaps the photos, leaving me in awe over the transformation from the last few weeks.

“Don’t think I didn’t hear your stomach that time,” he admonishes as my stomach growls. Kissing me on the cheek, he pulls me into motion. “There’s a pub that serves delicious food nearby. Up for it?”

Knowing it’s a long drive home, I nod quickly. It doesn’t matter what kind of food it is, I’m sure I’ll find something. Chatting together as we walk, I swear I’m practically walking on air. The weather is holding, the sun is high in the sky, and I still can’t believe a park this beautiful exists. That’s what happens I guess when you’re not exposed to the outside world.

Even as kids, the closest I got to playing outside was in the streets with the kids in the neighborhood and climbing trees I wasn’t supposed to. To be able to live so close to nature like this just blows my mind. Even the acres the pack owns are incredible.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks as we arrive back at the truck.

“How lucky I am,” I say, not tempering my words.

“Oh, honey, I think you’re mistaken,” he growls, backing me against the vehicle.

Even just a few weeks ago, this would have scared me. Ambrose’s hands on either side of me cage me in, yet I ghost my hands up his body with a small smile. I don’t believe he’ll physically hurt me. I’m even starting to think he has my best interests at heart.

Fuck, I’m definitely falling for him. This is my last thought before his lips meet mine, and he chases away anything else as his tongue teases mine, coaxing me to open my mouth wider for him.

Moaning as his hard body presses against mine, I arch up onto my toes, craving more.

“Be a good girl, honey,” he whispers. “Right now, you’re tempting me to want to drop to my knees and have another taste.”

Fuck, why does that not sound like a bad idea? In fact, it sounds like a good one.

Yep.

“So do it,” I say boldly, gasping as he immediately drops to his knees in front of me.

Lifting my leg over his shoulder, he smiles wickedly. “When are you going to understand that I love being told how to make you scream for me, honey?” Ambrose asks.

Reaching between my thighs to push my panties to the side, he unabashedly dives in to lick my core. “Fuck yes. Come like the good girl you are, honey. God, you taste so damn good.”

Biting my lip hard as he buries his face in my pussy, my fingers tangle in his loose wavy hair, my hips beginning to rock against his face.

“Yes,” I gasp as he pushes his fingers into my tight heat. My slick is all over his chin, though my dress keeps dropping over his head to hide him from my view. God, he’s so sexy as he grunts and groans as he enjoys me like a damn meal. “Fuck, I’m close.”

My needy whine is followed by more slick as it slides out of me. My pussy is readying me for a knot that’s not going to happen today. But holy shit, this man is a God among alphas.

“Do it. Give me your cum,” he growls, sounding semi-feral as he drags his tongue over my clit and his fingers curve inside of me.

A strangled scream escapes as I come apart for him, shuddering as my body trembles and I hold him closely against me. Only as I sag with exhaustion do I realize that he probably can’t breathe, releasing his hair. Ambrose’s gasp for breath as he pulls back makes me give an embarrassed giggle as he stumbles to his feet after setting my panties back in place.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, giving me a taste of my cum as he gives me a filthy kiss. God, why is this so hot? I’m learning so much about myself with Flynn and our alphas. “Let’s go because parents with their kids could stumble upon us.”

I giggle as he opens the truck door and helps me in, looking around with a sated smile. No one is nearby, because everyone is still in the park. My stomach gives an embarrassing growl as Ambrose gets into the truck, making him give me a smirk as he opens the lunch box he packed earlier. Pulling out a piece of cheese, he hands me it before grabbing a piece for himself as he turns on the truck.

“It’s about a half an hour drive, may as well snack,” Ambrose says with a shrug.

Indeed. We’re going to eat, but I love that he’s not telling me to wait or to be patient. I’m hungry now, so car snacks are the solution. I honestly love this for us.

I think I’m enjoying this courting thing more than I expected.