Knot My Sin: Chapter 6

“Wren!” I call after her as I watch her run away from me. This feels wrong. Why is she so warm?

“You let the bird go free, and she’s flying away,” Everest says as he comes outside to throw his arm around me. “Wow, look at her go. Not a goodbye or anything. No good deed goes unpunished, huh?”

Sighing, I shake my head as I stare after her. It’s not funny. “Something is wrong with her,” I mutter.

“Well, she’s not your problem anymore,” Everest reminds me, slowly turning me toward the house. “Come hang out with us. This job kind of sucked.”

Wanting to soothe my alpha, I wrap my arms around him as we head inside. Ambrose and Shaw send reassuring feelings down our bonds, making me relax more.

If they think this is for the best, then I’ll believe them for now. They’ve never lied to me before. Maybe it’s naive, but they’ve always been good to me, even though I know they aren’t good men.

“Why did the job suck?” I ask as Shaw closes the door behind us.

“Ugh, you really don’t want to hear the gory details,” he says goodnaturedly as he arms the alarm. “We had a rat in the organization we had to terminate.”

“Sounds messy,” I murmur as we move into one of my favorite rooms in the house.

Our living room is an omega’s dream. The steps go down into a lower level, and the couch is a colorful series of pillows and blankets.

Everest drops to his knees in front of me, pulling off my shoes before each of my alphas toes off their boots. As I crawl under a blanket, Ambrose grins, following me. Soon, my alphas surround me, and I snuggle into Ambrose’s shoulder.

“You still feel sad,” Shaw murmurs. His head is in my lap, and he’s curled up on the floor. It’s his favorite place to be, he says, because it’s the most comfortable. “Why?”

“I wish all omegas could experience this,” I tell him with a shrug. “Wren looked so sad when she left. She told me to make sure I took care of my alphas before she ran off. I want her to find peace.”

“You’ve always been one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met,” Shaw mumbles as I run my fingers through his hair

You’re one of the grumpiest,” I tease him. “There’s something going on. Why did you rush her off like that?”

“She makes me twitchy,” Ambrose grumbles. “She doesn’t talk, she just sits there, and I don’t know anything about her except that the auctioneer beta called her a slave.”

“Her eyes make my chest hurt,” Everest murmurs. “I don’t know how to help someone with that level of trauma. And then I ask myself if it’s even my place to want to.”

“Then there’s her damn name. Why is her name Wren? How did she end up at the auction? Why is there so much fucking pain in her eyes?” Shaw asks.

“I know at least one of the answers to those questions,” I mutter. “Wren said that ‘he’ gave her the name she has. It just felt as if she had been with this guy for a long time, and she couldn’t remember her real name.”

My alphas still, quiet for a moment. What are they thinking? Are they going to clue me in?

“Wait, what did you say?” Everest asks, moving from his position next to me.

“You heard me,” I saw slowly. “Your ears aren’t broken.”

“Isn’t that odd? Who doesn’t know the name they’re born with?” Everest says with a shrug. “Look, it made me think of something and it’s kind of freaking me out. We all have a very old, specific photo. It’s the same damn reason we were at that auction. She didn’t really look like Jasper’s sister. Did she? Because I’m going to feel really shitty if we kicked her out if she is.”

“Where is she, Shaw? I know you have cameras outside,” I remind him. “Wren’s eyes are hazel like Harley’s, but it’s not an uncommon eye color.”

Sighing, he grabs his phone and then clicks on the remote control to the television. I love watching movies here, but I’m more focused on the omega who is clutching her stomach with pain-filled eyes.

“How would you feel if you threw out an omega going into heat?” I ask, scrambling onto my knees. “Guys, do you hear me?”

I’m screeching right now, but I don’t care. Wren forces herself to keep moving, and soon she’s at the gate. Looking around as if waiting for it to open, she stomps her foot.

God, she’s kind of adorable.

“Maybe if I don’t open it, she’ll turn back,” Shaw grunts, his fist rubbing his chest. “Fuck, don’t jump it! Stop!”

Wren can’t hear him, and climbs up the gate before she jumps down the other side.

“Fuck,” Ambrose growls. “Well, we aren’t her alphas, what do you want us to do? We can’t fuck her or give her a knot, Flynn.”

Wren almost drops to her knees as I watch her have another cramp, and my heart starts to pound.

“Do you think she wanted to leave because she knew she was going into heat?” I ask. “She told me that she was leaving for me. You’re right, there’s too many questions, and I need those answers, guys. Please.”

Tears run down my cheeks as I watch her almost limp away. Shaw changes the video to show the main road as she keeps moving, but then turns to walk into the woods.

“What… Why is she doing that?” I ask, moaning softly. I’m panting with the stress, my heart pounding as my anxiety shoots through the roof.

I never should have let her leave.

“I don’t know, baby boy,” Shaw murmurs. My three alphas gaze at the television as if they can force her to walk back out of the woods.

Thunder sounds outside, making me frown as I turn to look out the window. The clouds came in when I wasn’t paying attention, and the rain begins to fall now.

“Flynn, what will happen to an omega if she goes through her heat alone?” Ambrose asks slowly.

“It depends on how bad the heat is,” I whisper. “I had my first heat with you guys, which is why I was dating. I didn’t want to have it alone. Even if I didn’t find anything serious, I would have wanted to come to an understanding with a pack to see me through it.”

“Like fuck I would have wanted that,” Everest rumbles, rubbing my leg. “I’m glad you found us first.”

“Worst case scenario?” Shaw asks, forcing himself to breathe.

“She could lose her mind out there,” I explain. “I don’t know… I have no idea if this is her first heat or not. She’s undernourished, it’s possible she may not have ever had one. I just… I don’t know!”

My heart is pounding as I look from the road where the rain is pelting down to outside the window.

“There’s a river near the road,” I mutter, thinking about what’s near us. “I don’t know how hot or awful she feels yet, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I thought she was suicidal. Even just trying to cool off, she could drown there. I can’t… Look, I did this!”

“No,” Shaw barks, but there’s no heat to it. “How did you do this? That doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“I brought her into a house filled with alpha pheromones. Sometimes it can kick start a heat. Like you said, we just don’t know enough about her. Guys… I want to go look for her. Right now,” I insist.

Glad Shaw’s head isn’t in my lap anymore, I stand. Ambrose lunges forward, pulling me back onto the couch.

“Wait, just wait,” he says. My chest is heaving with emotion, my anxiety continuing to spike as I watch the wind toss the branches around as if they were playthings. Black spots appear across my vision as I sit rigidly at the window. Thunder cracks over our heads, making me jump.

“Wait for what? Till she dies?” I snap at him. “I brought her here, I want to help her. I have toys with knots, I don’t know, maybe I can help her?”

“Baby boy,” Shaw murmurs. “I don’t think it works like that.”

“Maybe not, but she can’t be out in this weather right now. I want to go find her,” I snap. The scent of my anger and distress fills the room, and my alphas begin to purr for me. I don’t want their comfort. I don’t deserve it. “No! Stop, I need to do this, guys. Please.”

Ambrose sighs as he looks out at the storm, biting his lip. “Fuck. Let’s go get dressed, then. Flynn, I think this is a bad idea. We probably aren’t going to even see anything until the storm passes.”

Sticking out my bottom lip, I merely stare at him. I’m rarely petulant, but something has been telling me there’s something special about this girl. It’s why I was drawn to her. Wren doesn’t set off my anxiety the way other people do, and seems to want good things for me.

What about her? Who wants good things for her?

“No,” I rasp, shaking my head. “No waiting. If she is Harley, then there’s a whole story there that Jasper deserves to hear. We promised him we’d look, and we may have just thrown his sister out on her ass for what? Because she makes you three uncomfortable?”

“Yes,” Shaw whispers. He’s pale as it all begins to hit him. Ambrose, Everest, and Shaw have a burst of guilt through our bond before they lock it down. It feels colder in my mind without them, but I don’t really want them to feel my disappointment either, so we’re even.

Shaking my head, I move Ambrose off me, getting up and walking away.

“I’m leaving and taking the Razor out alone,” I mutter. We have a vehicle meant for off roading, and it’s the only one that’ll allow us to drive in the woods.

“We’re going, wait for us. I don’t want to lose you too,” Shaw growls.

“Don’t make me wait,” I snarl as I jog up the stairs of the sunken living room and then up to our room.

My eyes won’t stop leaking, and I drag my sweatshirt across my face as I sniff back a snot bubble. I know they’re worried about how worked up I am, but I need them to take me seriously, instead of making me forget in a sweaty orgy.

My eyes move over the house as I walk, remembering small things from when we moved into this home together. They wanted to give me the perfect place, so we found the land and then had it constructed from the ground up.

While we were planning the construction of the house, we decided to each have separate rooms in case we needed space, and our room together. I also have a nest on the third floor for my heats and when I feel the need to hide away. I love everything about this house we’ve made our home, but I need to get out of here.

I also need answers.

Pulling off my clothes, a part of me wishes I had given her my worn sweatshirt. I’m not an alpha, but it might help settle her as her body attempts to pull her apart with need. Blowing out a breath, I change into a pair of tactical black cargo pants, a long-sleeved moisture wicking T-shirt, and a warm rain jacket. The guys and I have been mud racing a few times, and this is what I usually wear for it.

It’ll keep me warm while I’m out looking for her, which means it’ll accomplish its purpose. Thick socks and heavy combat boots finish off my outfit before I walk out of the room. My alphas read my mood correctly and all dressed in their own rooms, because I’m angry, sad, and I had to blow my nose twice before I could leave our room.

There’s a heaviness in my chest that is making me feel frenetic. It typically leads to bad decisions and tears, but I know that’s not the case here. My heat is now about two weeks away, so I don’t think Wren’s heat will set mine off early by being around her.

Darling, why did you have to run? Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling hot and off?

This beautiful omega is out there suffering the worst pain an omega can feel without alphas and her mates to soothe her. Wren gave me something precious, her words, but I don’t know how to put together all of the puzzle pieces. There’s too many missing pieces.

“Flynn,” Shaw barks, a touch of his alpha command forcing me to stop and glance at him. “Please wear a hat. I know you’re mad, and you’re right to be. We mishandled the little omega. Just please take care of yourself too?”

“No one cares about her but me,” I mutter, snatching the knit hat from his outstretched hand to shove it over my hair. Sure, my head is warmer now, but I’m still irrationally pissed off. “Thank you.”

See, I can be polite even when I’m mad.

Ambrose, Shaw, and Everest give me an understanding smile, to which I roll my eyes and turn to walk away.

“I’ll let you be a brat for a bit longer, baby boy, because we fucked up, but don’t think this will give you a pass forever,” Shaw grumbles as they follow me.

Yeah, yeah.

I have some self-preservation for my ass, so I don’t say the words out loud.

Shaw, our resident driver, grabs the keys to the Razor, and we clomp outside to the garage. Working quickly, Ambrose opens the door, and Shaw turns on the vehicle to drive into the driveway.

Unsure how long we’ll be looking, Everest grabs some long distance two-way radios for us to communicate as we search since cell reception may be limited. Ambrose locks up the house as soon as Everest gets into the vehicle, and then joins us in the Razor.

I’m sitting in the back, my legs drawn up as the rain continues to come down. It feels like another world, the liquid feeling like tiny knives as it pelts my face.

I should raise the hood of my raincoat higher to protect myself, but I choose not to. I’m still a million times more comfortable than Wren is right now. I don’t deserve anything more until she’s found.

“Please let us find her,” I whisper as we bump and drive the mile up to the gate and then roar off onto the road.

Shaw slams on the brakes and turns the vehicle, making me squeal as he drives the Razor into the woods. Ambrose grunts, unamused at his driving skills as he bands his arm around my chest. There aren’t any seatbelts in this contraption, which makes him twitchy.

He likes order, things in abundance, and safety. Right now, we’re thumbing our noses at all of it.

“We’ll find her, baby boy,” Shaw growls. Blinking in surprise as the rain mixes with my tears, it takes me a second to realize he’s replying to my words.

“I hope so,” I murmur.

Come on, Darling. Hold on for me.

I’m driving much faster than I normally would, but I can feel the anxiety vibrating from Flynn’s bond. He thinks that because we shut ours down that we can’t feel him, and that’s not the case. My omega is freaking the fuck out.

He’s also incredibly angry and disappointed with his alphas. Yeah, what I haven’t told him is that I feel the same about myself.

As the wind and rain whips through the trees and I crash through the underbrush, I finally have to admit to myself that an omega has no business being in these woods, especially in these conditions. Or fuck, in a goddamn heat the way Flynn suspects she is.

Swallowing hard, my heart cramps so hard it makes me gasp. We fucked up, and now we have to find her.

“Slow down, man,” Ambrose yells. “We may miss her at this speed.”

Slowing the vehicle down, I nod. “Everyone out, let’s canvas the woods on foot. Grab a radio and make sure to check in regularly. Flynn, please stay with one of us at all times. It’ll make me more comfortable, it is not because you’re not capable, okay?”

As I put the Razor in park, I turn to face him. Flynn nods tersely to show that he understands me before getting out to follow Everest. Shaking my head, I grab a radio before stepping out of the vehicle to start looking.

“Shaw!” Ambrose shouts, making me turn around.

“The ground is going to be really soft. Watch for holes, or anywhere she could have fallen in,” he tells me. I nod at him before leaving him behind to look.

The words are for me as well to remind me to get my head in the game. The last thing any of us need is for one of us to get hurt. Ambrose and I weigh a ton, and it would be a pain in the ass to have to launch another rescue mission.

On and on I walk, checking the raging river for a body, ravines, and up in the trees. Goddamnit she could be anywhere.

The radio buzzes in my pocket as I shove my hair back. It’s miserable out here. Fuck.

“Wren!” I yell, hoping for movement somewhere, anywhere as I turn slowly in a circle.

Pulling out the radio, I hit the button to speak. “Did you find her? Copy,” I grunt.

When the weather is nicer and it’s not as wet, we’ll play hide and seek and enjoy the day while we use these as backup to keep in contact. Unfortunately, this is a much less enjoyable time.

“Nah, boss. Wanted to see if you’ve had any better luck,” Everest says. “Ambrose, you? Copy.”

“Parts of the forest are really muddy,” Ambrose sighs. “The sun is going down and we won’t be able to see shit without flashlights. I don’t want to lose anybody. We’re going to have to pack it in.”

“No!” I hear Flynn wail through the trees.

“We’ll come back,” I say into the radio. “Flynn, listen to me. I swear we’ll come back at first light. Okay?”

I don’t bother to wait for an answer as I begin to take large strides back to where I know the Razor is. The sun is taking a fast tumble through the sky, saying goodbye to the world. I can’t believe how fucked today has become.

I catch Ambrose’s gaze as I get closer, and the whites of his eyes are red. Instead, I feel raw, but can’t allow myself to cry. I don’t deserve my tears while she’s out here.

The sound of a wounded animal echoes through the forest. It’s a cross between a scream and a keen, making me whip around in a circle to find where it’s coming from.

“Wren!” I scream into the oncoming night again, my fingers tearing through my short hair.

Fuck, did I hear an omega or an animal?

Sometimes, when an omega is in pain and out of her or his mind from a heat, I’ve heard this can happen. I pretended to not know when I asked Flynn what Wren would go through, but I’ve heard horror stories in our community about this.

Too many omegas get lost in the cracks of our society or are bought and sold like chattel. My chest is heaving as I’m wracked with guilt, and the rain is fucking with the ability to see anything as it gets heavier, and the light gets dimmer.

“We gotta go,” Ambrose says in my ear, wrapping his arms around my chest. “Come on, Shaw. You know as well as I do that we won’t be able to find her tonight. Use the headlights when you drive us home, take it slow, so we’ll live to come search tomorrow, yeah? I don’t know how far she could have gotten on foot.”

“I feel like we may have underestimated her,” I grunt. “I figured since she hasn’t eaten much, she wouldn’t be able to get far.”

“I don’t know, let’s take the Razor further into the forest tomorrow. I’m going to map it out so we can see exactly how far out it goes before it hits a road or another house,” he murmurs, hugging me tightly for a moment before releasing me. “Think about how steadfast Flynn gets when he sets his mind to something. She could have gotten far. Wren isn’t a kept omega. She’s working from instincts and primal needs.”

I don’t deserve to be comforted, but it was nice to lean into him for a moment before we start walking to meet up with Flynn and Everest.

“You’re going to need to help him rest,” Ambrose says under his breath as he sees our omega wrapped in Everest’s arms, sobbing.

My eyes shut as I feel the bond between Everest and I. It’s full of pain too, and I can feel his change of heart. His alpha instincts are going wild. He wants to soothe his omega, but he also wants to find Wren.

We fucked up. We have to find her, otherwise I really don’t think we’ll survive this. It felt like the easier option when we packed her up and sent her on her way.

Blinking away the obscene moisture building behind my lids, I shake myself as I continue to walk toward my pack. I’m their alpha, I have to keep it together.

“We will come back, Flynn,” I remind him again. There’s strength I don’t feel in my voice, but my words are still true.

“What if it’s too late,” my omega sobs. I don’t think he’s stopped crying in the last few hours as we’ve been searching. He’s got to feel like shit, and this isn’t good for him.

“What will be will be,” I say softly, cupping his face. “I don’t know her very well, but I have a feeling Wren has seen some shit. She’s stronger than we think. Now sleep.”

I push power into my words, something I only do if I have no other choice. I’m fair as I lead my pack, but Flynn needs to rest if he wants to keep up his strength to find Wren. His lids grow heavy, and he tries to fight it.

He won’t be able to.

“I don’t want to,” he whispers.

“I know, baby boy,” I sigh. “I know.”

Everest picks Flynn up into his arms as he starts to sag, gazing down at him. Our omega lost his hat at one point, and his red hair is plastered to his forehead. He’s six-foot-three, but all sinewy muscles. Flynn is naturally fit, with a six pack peeking from under his shirt that’s beginning to ride up.

Our omega is gorgeous, has a huge heart, and an incredible capacity to forgive. He’s also petty as fuck when the urge hits him. There’s no way to know how he’s going to react when and if we find Wren.

Everest winces, grunting as my heart is hit with a pain. Great, now we’re sharing this too. The bond between pack brothers and alpha lovers is a very odd thing.

“You’re thinking really loudly, Shaw,” Ambrose mutters. “Let’s get home.”

Fuck me.

Flynn’s frame appears small against Everest’s broad and muscled body, and he holds him closely as he sits in the Razor’s back seat. I climb into the driver seat with Ambrose next to me, turning the engine on before flipping on the headlights.

We’ll be back, Wren.

A part of me feels as if it’s shriveling as I begin the drive home. It doesn’t make sense. She should mean nothing to me, so why do I want to yank the wheel and return to the woods?

“I feel it too, you know,” Ambrose grunts. “I’ve been denying it, I just don’t fucking understand why I feel like this.”

“Our instincts don’t always make sense,” Everest rumbles. “Fuck, I feel like shit.”

Ambrose and I get lost in our thoughts as I get to our gate and drive us home. If I hold Flynn tighter, or we all cuddle closer when we go to bed, none of us mention it.

The little omega out there is someone, and the only way to solve the mystery is to find her.