Chapter 22
QT: Against My Will
+â Authorâs note â-+
Edited by Psycho S
Proofreaded by P.D Webb.
+ââââââ+
When they were alone, everything seemed to be okay. That was until his behavior began to change immediately whenever Bing Shi left him alone to do her chores like cleaning up the house, or helping out her parents with their company. He would accuse her of cheating and right after that, heâd tell her not to socialize with other people if she could avoid socializing. Not only that, heâd tell her to always go home after school and to never go out with others.
Bing Shi wasnât stupid. She knew he was too obsessed with her. She was curious about obsessive men. She couldnât understand why women wanted to run away from them. In exchange for their freedom, they would be pampered! She would gladly stay at home all day just to play games and read novels. Thatâs because she felt the freest in her room.
The only thing she had against obsessive men, was how disrespectful they behaved towards women; she was always wondering if the obsessed man ever loved whoever they were fixated on. They abused them and acted like perverts; itâs like they only thought with their lower parts.
.....
Xuan Mu, on the other hand, had never been disrespectful towards her. He respected her every wish and never once acted like a pervert.
âXuan Mu is a nice gentleman. He is a lot smarter compared to them.â
Not going out to meet with others? Not talking to others if it wasnât a necessity? Everybody would run away from a person like that.
But Bing Shiâs way of thinking would make one wonder what was going inside her head. After many years of observations, she found out what was wrong with herself.
She didnât argue with him. She did as he wished. In a relationship, it was about two people making each other happy. Thanks to Xuan Mu, she felt happy. She took it as a type of negotiation; he agreed to her conditions, so it would only be fair for her to agree to his.
If it could comfort Xuan Mu, she wouldnât socialize with others. It wasnât like she ever cared about socializing. She didnât need lots of friends. One true friend was more than enough. She found him amusing. It was fun reading his conversation with others. But the only thing she couldnât tolerate was him, accusing her of cheating!
?Bing Shi:?I donât cheat! Stop spamming me! Youâre so unreasonable!
Falling on the bed, she typed on her phone in frustration.
?Xuan Mu:?People are dangerous! What if they turn you into a cheater?!
âWhy donât you want me as much as I want you?â Sitting before his computer, he clutched his phone with a displeased expression. Why couldnât she understand what he was going through? âThey are going to steal you from me...I canât let that happen...Only I can love you...Nobody else can...â
?Bing Shi:?I know they are bad! Iâm not that easy to sway!
She was so angry that she blocked his number on the messenger app.
âThatâs what you get for accusing me!â
âDid she block me? No...No!â Xuan Mu panicked. He started to scratch his chest. âIf I do nothing, Bing Shi will disappear!â
He quickly returned to his computer and sent her a message through another program.
?Xuan Mu:? Didnât you say communication is the key to success? So why are you running away?! Donât run away from our problems!
âPlease. Donât leave me.â He quickly typed out before she could block him here too. He still didnât know her address; only she knew his. Was this all part of her plan?
âShe canât run away from me!â He went crazy. She didnât talk to him the whole day! His thoughts were full of Bing Shi and how she would be leaving him. His imagination, much to his disdain, made it easy to think of her finding a replacement for him. He was hurting so much that he wanted to kill himself... Or atleast try again, with a more hopeful outcome.
?Xuan Mu:? Bing Shi, please, come back. Iâll die without you.
Xuan Mu knew she was in an invisible mode. But feeling ignored felt the same as if she wasnât here. He started to panic again.
âDonât ignore me. Speak to me, please.â Forlornly, he stared at his laptop with a frown. Negative thoughts swirled inside his head, âIt was my fault, Bing Shi left because of me. She doesnât love me.â
Soon, he perked up. He found a loophole in her message. Happily, he tried to call her via VoIP.
(A/N: VoIP like Skype, Discord, Teamspeak.).
âHeâs the best, isnât he? He found a solution and, at the same time, respected my wish of not calling me via phone.â
Rubbing her teary eyes, Bing Shi picked up his call with a smile.
âBing Shi, I want to kill myself for hurting you. I donât deserve you,â Xuan Mu knew she felt pressured by his suicidal thoughts; she felt responsible for him. Because of that, he took full advantage of her insecurity. As he listened to her breath audibly catch in her throat, he knew that it worked out.
Bing Shi panicked, âJust stop accusing me of cheating! I hate cheating! You have no trust in me! And stop hurting yourself!â She started to cry.
âNo. Donât cry. Please, donât cry.â Xuan Mu pleaded. âIâm sorry. Iâm sorry. I know youâre not a cheater. Youâre a good girl.â
âWhy are you always accusing me of cheating?â Bing Shi resumed her cry; in their own way, both of them started to solve their problems through communication.
âI always have nightmares of you leaving me because of somebody else. So I have to assure myself that you are not leaving me. Itâs like a spell to heal myself,â Xuan Mu confessed. âNow, sheâll think that Iâm crazy.â
âYou should have said that sooner. Stupid nightmares, stop hurting my boyfriend!â said Bing Shi with a face full of worry.
âMm, Iâm sorry. Yeah, stupid nightmares!â Xuan Mu finally calmed down.
âIâm sorry for running away. Also, Iâm not a good girl,â Bing Shi didnât feel like a good girl. Not right now, at least... How could she feel like a good girl after knowing she made him want to kill himself?
âThereâs a new MMO, want to try it out?â Xuan Mu chuckled weakly as an attempt to change the topic.
âYup,â Bing Shi giggled while sniffling softly. She took his bait gladly.
When Xuan Mu and Bing Shi became an online couple, Xuan Mu wanted them to look the same; she adhered to his desire and so, whenever they played a game, both of them were usually the same gender. Their clothes and hairstyle were also identical. The only difference was the class they chose, the colors of their outfits, and the names above their heads.
Xuan Mu was always in all white, with the name Shiro while Bing Shi was always in all black, with the name Kuro. Together, they were like the classical yin and yang couple.
(AN: Shiro=White, Kuro=Black)
· · âââ- · ???· âââ- · ·
After a year of dating online...
?Bing Shi:? Letâs meet up in real life.
She didnât even let Xuan Mu prepare his heart. She blurted such a shocking announcement out of the blue again.
âHuh? Whaaat?!â The young Xuan Mu jumped out of his chair; the chair fell from his sudden movement. He closed the distance between his face and his smartphone. Making sure he was not hallucinating, he rubbed his tired eyes and read her message again and again, triple checking he wasnât reading it wrong.
His whole being became hot and nervous at the same time.
He looked at his heart area and started to rub it, trying to calm down his heart, which wanted to jump out of his chest. âBing Shi, what are you doing to my heart?â
On Break