Chapter 52

Mark “Good morning! I’m sorry that my office is a bit messy. As I mentioned, I moved cities a week ago, and I haven’t unpacked everything yet,” Linda, my therapist, smiles at me from her seat. “How are you?”

I force a smile onto my lips. This is the second time I’ve been to Linda’s office this week. I’m unsure why I’m here. I have a dinner planned with Winnie later, and I should be thrilled, but I’m miserable since I know it’s my brother she actually wants.

Which is why I’m here, I guess. My heart is in pain, and there is no one I can tell about So I’m here because I need a friend, sad that I have to buy friendship, but that’s how life is…

I have teammates I talk with, but we aren’t that close. My real best friends are Winnie and Jake. Talking to them, however, would just be incredibly awkward and embarrassing.

Therefore, I’m hoping Linda can make me feel less lonely. Though, I won’t jump the gun right away. I will small talk first, and then I will highlight my problem and ask for her advice.

“I’m pretty good. Won a big game yesterday, but I slept terribly,” I inform Linda and grimace a little. “My back hurts. I flew into the plexiglass, and it hurts like a motherfucker.”

“Ouch…” Linda grimaces.

She has a round, friendly face, and her skin is kissed by the sun. The woman seems to normally be pale but has a beach glow.

Either way, I can see why people like her as a therapist. She looks friendly.

“Tell me about it… it really hurt.”

“Have you seen a doctor?”

“Yeah, I saw one after the game.”

“Good.”

“Though I suppose the injury isn’t the only reason I’m not sleeping well…”

Linda picks up her notebook with a thoughtful expression. But she speaks before opening it, showing me she has memorized our last session.

“I see… I hope you don’t mind me asking, but did you sleep terribly because of Kelly again?”

“Yes… she was moaning the entire night,” I run my fingers through my hair, tired from simply remembering Kelly’s whiny voice. ”

That woman is just too much. I can’t stand her. My brother and I are living together, and she invited herself. Our apartment is supposed to be my safe space. But now Kelly is leaving her items all over the place. She cooked in her underwear this morning and walked into my room with a tray. Isn’t that weird?! She said she was trying to be nice, but it was weird!

She isn’t my girlfriend, yet she still came into my room!”

Linda giggles but try to stifle it. This sparks my amusement. I assess her silently, searching for a smile. She isn’t wearing one, but I know she is hiding it and trying to remain professional.

But… I don’t want Linda to be professional. I want her to be real. Because I’m not really depressed or anything. I’m just… lonely? I think that is the real reason I’m paying for her services.

“If you want to laugh, laugh,” I tell her. “I know my problems aren’t huge, so you can just laugh at me.”

She flips her blonde hair over her shoulder, then throws one leg over the other, doling her hands over her knee. “That would be rather rude.”

I shrug. “I’m here because I need a friend. Sure, you’re a therapist, but your homepage said you offer a wide range of services. As for me, I need a friend. I’m pretty sure I included that when I bought your services, and… it’s also why I’m paying you extra.”

She considers this, then nods. “Talking is one thing, but friendship? I don’t think friendship should be bought, and I don’t normally offer that as a service. However, I’m very conflicted when it comes to you…”

This surprises me. “Why?”

“You were so sad earlier this week.”

That softens my heart, and I sigh. “Don’t feel sad for me.”

“Why not?”

“I like talking to you quite a lot, actually, and I don’t mind paying for it. You needed money for… what was it, house renovations?

“Yes,” her smile is bright and cheery again.

But I must ask you: is this truly what you want?”

“Please.”

She nods. “Very well… I was laughing earlier because another man might celebrate that a beautiful young woman walked around his place naked and served him breakfast.

Though… I understand Kelly is seeing your brother, so it’s inappropriate behavior from her side.”

“They aren’t exclusive,” I’m smiling myself now. “But no, I don’t find Kelly attractive even though she is beautiful.” I don’t know why, but my cock goes stiff rather than hard when I see her.

Her lips quirk into a knowing look, and she places down her notebook. It’s a signal we will talk as friends.

“You only have eyes for Winnie, huh?”

“It’s sad, isn’t it?” I sigh. “I know she doesn’t see me the same way and that I should move on… I mean, she is probably too immature for me anyway. Her view on how men should be is… questionable.”

“Big and mean?”

I snort. “Yes…” I anxiously look around then, realizing that Linda knows much about my personal life. “You have professional secrecy, right?”

“Of course,” she pushes her black-rimmed glasses higher up her nose. “I might be a private therapist, but I still follow some customs, or my clients wouldn’t return.

Whatever you tell me stays with me… unless you’ve murdered someone. I have to report that sort of stuff.”

I don’t know what comes over me, but I let my tone go flirtatious. “Do you think I look like a murderer, Linda?”

She swats with her hand. “Oh, stop it. Your and I both know you’re much too kind… then again, the most charming people are usually the killers. You’ve seen that show, right? You, I think it’s called.” 1 I’m smirking now. “With Penn Badgley?”

Does she think I’m acting like like Joe did in that series? Hm. Perhaps I am.

“Yes, that’s one!” Linda claps her hands, clearly excited. It’s so unlike her that I laugh. Never in a million years did I think she had a bubbly personality. She is always so calm and collected otherwise.

“You think I’m like him?” I ask, amused.

“Sometimes,” her lips quirk. “You’re very charming and know exactly the right things to say. I would call you socially talented.”

I laugh in delight. “I think I have to pay you more if you keep flattering me like this.”

We talk some more, and when my session is over, Linda refuses my card. She shakes her head. “No, please. This was not a real session. I’ve talked to you like you’re my friend, and it’s been nothing but pleasant. I couldn’t ask you to pay me, especially since I’ve also talked.”

I frown. “But you need money.’

“I’m not poor, and I will continue saving,” she tells me, shrugging like it’s no big deal and as if I haven’t wasted two hours of her life.”

I sigh and stand up from my chair. “I need to repay you somehow… you want to grab a coffee sometime?”

This makes her chortle, and she stands up at well. She is much shorter than I expected, with rounded hips and intelligent eyes.

“Do you mean as a date?”

“No,” I’m confused now. “But now I’m curious about asking since it sounds like you would reject me if it was.”

“I would,” a smile curves her lips. “I don’t go out with clients.”

I arch an eyebrow, loving the teasing challenge she leaves herself open by admitting I’m a client. “I thought we were friends… but if I’m a client, then maybe I should pay?”

“No!” She laughs. “No payments! Also, I don’t date younger guys. I’m not against an age gap, but I have a two-year-old son and young men usually… you know.”

“I’m not bothered by children, but an age gap?” I stare at her. “You don’t look a day older than twenty-

five.”

I think I see her cheeks turn pinker. “I’m turning thirty today, actually. I have a big date planned after our session.”

“Lucky guy,” I comment as I stroll to the door and smile. “I hope the date goes well for you… where will you be eating?”

“Plaza Hotel.”

“Oh, I have dinner with my teammates at Plaza Hotel tonight. It’s supposedly luxurious, and I hope everything goes well on your date,” I wink at her. “Best of luck, Linda.”

“Thank you!” She grimaces. “I would never admit this to a client, but since we are friends, I will go ahead and say it: I’m terrified.”

My hand freezes on her door, and I turn around, blinking. “Why are you terrified? Scared of the cost of the food?”

“No, gosh, no,” she laughs as if I’m being silly. “I can enjoy myself sometimes, but I haven’t dated since my husband passed away,” there is a shiny, sad look in her eyes. “It’s been two, almost three years since Robert passed away.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you,” her face goes back to looking happy. “If you love this Winnie person, Mark, take my advice and tell her. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way, getting it out there is good.

Because there is always a ‘ what if,’ and going around thinking about it is dangerous. You don’t want a bunch of regrets in your life, and you never know which day will be your last. I fought with Robert on the day of his accident. It’s my biggest regret,” her bottom lip trembles, and she whispers.

“Every other day, I told him I love him, but that day, when he left for work, I didn’t.”

I stare at her, and a weird feeling settles over me. I think I’m feeling sorry for Linda, and the strangest thing is that I want to console her when I barely even know her.

But… that would be weird, so I plaster on a smile. “Again, I’m sorry for your loss,” Linda meets my eyes, and yes, there are tears. Now I feel even more confused about what to do, but in the end, I don’t hug her but say, “I’m sure your date is going to be fine, and if not, just come and find me. I might be drinking alone by the bar after telling Winnie I like her because I know she doesn’t feel the same way.”

“Telling Winnie how you feel is brave of you, ” her smile grows. She is a nice person. “And if not, I can be your therapist by the bar,” a playful wink is sent my way. “Free sessions after the first margarita is down.”

I snort. “You’re on.”

Perhaps Winnie rejecting me won’t be the end of the world.