twenty eight

Luca

~

The rest of the night I tell her more about my parents and how they were killed. My voice became hoarse as I tried my best to not cry in front of her, I just don't like people seeing me at my worst. But, when I'm with her I've never felt more like myself than with anyone before.

Anderson included.

"It was a burglary," I told her as we sat down on the edge of my bed. "They came in the middle of the night, took all of our things and started to come into my room. By that time, my dad fought him and was able to knock the gun from his hands. My mom quickly ran toward my bedroom to protect me, but she was too late. The other guy shot her and then shot my dad too," I twiddle with my thumbs as I start to gather the horrible memories. "So, I live with my grandma now. She's all I have left."

Her arms reached around my waist, nuzzling her head into my chest. Her vanilla shampoo hits me like a truck, and I instantly feel my body relax.

"I couldn't imagine what you and your grandma went through. I'm so glad you have each other."

I take a deep breath and wrap my arms around her also. "I miss them every single day."

"So, what happened to the burglars? Were they ever caught?"

"Yes. I remember waking up and hearing my mom scream before a pistol fired. They would always keep a landline phone in every bedroom for emergencies, so I was able to immediately call 911. I stayed in my room in the closet until the cops arrived."

"Oh my God, Luca. That must have been traumatic for you."

I run my hands through her hair as a sense of security. "It was and still is."

"How old were you?"

"I was nine at the time."

She lets out a deep breath. "I remember rumors going around school that they were murdered, but I wasn't sure how much to believe. You know how students can be."

"I know," I tell her softly, still stroking her short curly hair. "How come it took you this long to ask, though?"

"Because it's none of my business. Seems very personal to me, and besides," she looks up from laying her head on my chest. "Whether it was true or not, I would have never judged you."

"Thank you—"

"Just like you never judged me with my mom."

She brings her lips into a small smile, letting me quickly follow. "And I never will."

My lips parted before I leaned down to kiss her. It was like our first kiss at the football game, but something felt more real with this one. It could be the tears from both of us or the way she melts into my arms. It could be the sadness we both feel.

I swear, I could kiss her forever.

I don't feel sad anymore.

With Prom right around the corner, Cassie and I talk about what to wear. Like I've said before, this is my first time, so I have no idea how to do these things.

"We should wear gold," she squeals at the lunch table, taking a bite of her chicken salad.

"Gold?" Marcus questions. "You hate gold."

She shakes her head and looks back at me with a smile. "Not anymore."

"Are you going with Reagan?" I let out before opening my bottle of water.

His face looks disgusted the way he scrunched up his nose. "The girl is bat shit crazy, man. Very obsessed with me."

"You think?" Cassie chimes in.

He gives her a 'very funny' look before speaking again. "She insists that I come to this party she is throwing the night before Prom, but I can't go alone."

"Why go at all?"

"Everyone is going to be there. It's the biggest party of the year."

"Don't parties get old?" I say through gritted teeth.

Just the thought of vodka makes me want to vomit.

"Not when you're a senior." He leans back into his chair. "So, will you two come with me?"

Scott's words came back into motion when he said Marcus was talking shit about me. I want to believe that we're both at a good place, but it's Marcus we're talking about...

I look over at Cassie who shrugs, not sure what to do.

I know I'm going to regret this.

"Fine," I held up a finger. "But no shots for me."

"Great," Marcus shouts in victory. "More for me."

We finish eating our lunch and walk outside the cafeteria to our next class when I suddenly spot Anderson stride toward the bathrooms. He keeps his head down.

Cassie eyes me suspiciously, telling me something is wrong. I quickly oblige and let go of her hand.

The warmth has left my skin cold and unwanted. I wish I could hold her all the time.

"Andy?" Marcus calls out.

"Are you okay?" says Cassie.

He shakes his head and turns around, walking in the opposite direction.

"Be right back." I tell them and run after Anderson. He stops before walking in the restroom when I grab him by the shoulder.

"Hey, are you still mad at me?" I look into his big green eyes full of sadness and heartache. "Wait, what's wrong?"

His eyes slowly leave mine before dropping his lunch bag onto the concrete floor.

"Like you care."

"Anderson," I scolded. "Of course, I care, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

He looks up from the mess he just made on the floor and tugs his backpack tighter around his shoulder.

"We had a bad night."

"Who?" I search his eyes, hoping he fills me in.

"Mom."

I swallowed hard. "Shit, what happened? Please don't tell me what I think you're going to...."

He looks back at me with tears buried deep in his eyes, not letting them fall, but one finally escapes making him quickly wipe it away.

"She relapsed last night."

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

That was five days ago when she relapsed.

Anderson was able to get professional help involved who sent her to rehab. The recovery center she will be staying at is in Napa, which is about an hour drive from here in Oakley. She will be staying for a six-month program. I told Anderson he can't stay in this apartment complex anymore, especially since her ex-boyfriend is still on the loose.

He told me right after it happened that her boyfriend screamed as he tried to wake her up. That's when Anderson walked in and found her unconscious on the bathroom floor with puke smeared around her face.

Roger left right after that, and Anderson had to call and wait for the ambulance to arrive. Just trying to imagine his mom like that made me feel sick to my stomach. So, my grandma insisted that he stays with us until graduation or however long he needs to.

"You, okay?" I tell him as we get back home after telling his mom goodbye. We take a seat on the couch and turn on the tv.

He nods, propping his right foot on the coffee table. "Yeah, I'm alright."

"I'm sorry, Anderson." He keeps his eyes on the tv. "You're my best friend. I don't like this weirdness between us." I say, trying to find the right words.

I really do miss him.

"I didn't mean to not be myself. I guess I just let my insecurities get the best of me."

"Insecure about what?" he manages to say, still keeping his eyes away from me.

"I don't know," My shoulders shrugged, even though he couldn't see me. "Fitting in."

"I thought this deal between you two was to see what it would be like to date her, not see what your life would be like if you were popular."

He's right.

That's exactly what Cassie said.

A taste of popularity

"I got caught up in the moment, I guess."

He finally breaks eye contact with a random show that is playing and looks my way. "I don't trust Marcus; I know you don't want to hear that. But since junior high he has made our lives a living hell."

He's right again.

"Come to the party Friday night."

"What?"

"I know you don't do parties, but you'll see that he's not that bad, and you deserve to have a fun night out—with everything going on."

He pinches the bridge of his nose, "I'm not responsible for getting plastered."

I chuckle as I lean back onto the couch. "That's fine because no clear, burning-liquid is going in my mouth."

• • •

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