.27.

Click STAR to VOTE 👏

Zendi's Point of view

I swallowed nervously and took up the watch.

Watching in horror as she steps towards me, wincing.

This is it

My life is bout to take a huge turn

"Why the hell you standing on your feet?" I asked, hoping my slight anger would direct her mind else where.

I placed the watch in my pocket and step forward, helping her turn around. I hold her up with my arms and we stepped slowly. She's is strong. She'd made progress, am sure she can step a little faster but she's scared to.

She's scared of the pain she might feel.

The Brain is a powerful thing.

"I wanted some water. I didn't want to bother Katie, she got her own shit going on. Nico, stopped by to say hi and  I thought why not used the time to get my ass up and get some."

She grips my arm and presses the other palm to the wall. We were now in the dim passage way, a couple steps from my room and I felt as if the walls were closing in on me.

"I got a wedding gala coming up next month. Am sitting in the edge of my seat, because I don't know how am gonna go, holding up like this."

She had never done a wedding gala before, she's  nervous yet excited. I can sense that self doubt coming up.

In three

Two

One

"I don't think I'll be able to do It. What if I can't  trained my spine properly. I'm so scared amma feel pain if I straighten myself. Am loosing money in my business, but how can I go to gala looking like an old mop stick?"

She knows how to negotiate, manage high-profile guests, and ensure the event runs smoothly while keeping a lawyer' s mindset. She's good at what she does. Times like these; she needs to believe in her self. She had my back before my class expanded, and in a few weeks; I won't be in Jamaica. I will be back in New York and she has no idea that it was her motivation that made me excel.

I opened my room door and helped her to the bed.  The room was in a extremely white light and it took a while for my eyes to adjust. Am so used to it being in red or Blue.

I squinted my eyes at her.

She points at the nightstand,"Sorry about the light.  I forgot to put it back on Blue, the remote is over there."

"Gimmi a sec, lemme go get that water for you," I Scurried from the room and wiped my face.

"I need a shower. I need a clear mind. Am fine, everything is okay. She will lash out and I'll handle it. The walls ain't moving Zenora, the walls ain't moving."

I could feel an anxiety coming up.

"Fuck. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit."

I rushed to the kitchen and looked around. A kitchen of white titles, Brown cupboards aligned next to each other. Everything was packed neatly. Wet plates were draining off .

"The pills, the pills. Where the pills at? I need a cigarette."

Holding my chest, as it tightens. I rushed over a close window over the sink, open it and drank in the night air.

"Breath, you are fine."

She's gonna leave me

She won't need a killer in her life

This is what she feared

She wanted to change this about me

It's like she knew I got a killer instinct

She said that it's not Everytime my parents can get a lawyer to get me out

Rummaging through the cupboards; I found it. A pill I haven't taken in months.

Who the fuck needs pills anyway?

My mind pictured a stash of cocaine I had hidden. I slap my palms down in disagreement.

No

Placing back the pill; I grabbed a room temperature water from the package on the counter and exit the kitchen.

She was propped up on the bed. I hand her the water and removed my hoodie.

Draping it over a leg; I sat on the edge of the bed. Getting up to sit on the chair, she held on to me.

I don't normally sit on my bed in my outdoor clothes. The feeling of bringing germs on my bed doesn't sit right with me.

"I can't sit on the bed, lemme me-"

She thugs at my arm, "Sit down, Zendi."

Sighing in defeat; I sat.

"Who did you kill?"

"It's okay. It's fine. I understand if you ain't go ride with me no more. I get it I ain't forcing you to. I- I - listen-," Unable to finish, I got up, holding the sweater in my hand.

I can't do this

I can't communicate this

I need to get out of here

Damn

I left the window open

I need to go close the window

"It's kajan isn't it? You killed him?"

I couldn't look at her, but I could feel the tightening of her palm on my arm.

My heart thuds in my ears and my eyes glued on the door.

"Zen?"

"Hey, Zendi!"

Her voice is calling my far away.

"Zendi calm down. Am here. Look at me, Zendi!"

"It's fine. I understand. It's okay. If you don't want to be with me anymore, I understand. It's okay, it's fine."

My fingers played drumsticks on my thigh. The room is suddenly too small; I need to get out.

Am hot

I can't ...

"Zen -"

A fury rise within me and I focused on it, shoving my anxiety away; I listened to the roaring in my blood, it felt like a dam wanting to burst. I dragged my hands away from her, and facing her I let my demons show themselves, "Mi did hafi kill him! I had to, okay?! He is dead and there's no turning back. If you want to leave you can fucking leave. You can stop this between us, but know this," I leaned in and watched her eyes widen in fear.

She's scared of me!

"I will kill a thousand men, and more do you understand me?"

Shaking my head sideways. I leaned closer, loomimg over her. My hand on each sides of me.  The bitterness sings in my ears, "You don't want a murder for a friend? For a relationship? Are you scared now? Because I have blood on my hands. I'm a killer. You are too innocent and naive for this life and that's oKay, but it's time you toughen up or you leave. Am not him, I won't force you to stay. Pretty little thing."

Fuck

I need to calm down

"Zendi? This is not you."

A laugh escapes from me. "Oh right, it's not. It's another person talking," I rolled my eyes and straightened.

I walked to the closet and sorted out clothes for an after shower.

I feel so bitter that. I feared opening my mouth. I might say something horrible.

Her voice came out shakily, "Zendi, listen to me-"

"Oh God, please a beg, Wetin be dis? I suggest you keep your mouth shut, Brianna. I don't want disrespect you. I

Don't want to be a reason why you  hurt, sweetheart, you know I don't care when am angry."

"But Zendi -"

I slammed the walking closet shut and stormed out.

Mi tell har ino

Mi tell her Ina di best way Fi shut up ino

"You don't know what love is Brianna. You never fucking do. Your dad never showed it you and that is why you stayed with that fucking asshole. You let him used you, and take the blame and apologize to him time after time  as if he was a fucking God."

Her face feels but, I didn't stop there.

I shook my head and held up a index finger. Holding the clean clothes in my hands. I grip them trying to calm my demons.

"You don't know what true love is because your parents are always traveling as if they are the fuckin  government. They are the reason why Katie got jacked up for some asshole and you let that mothefucker stoled your mind. Do you know how hard that was for me? Watching you-" My face formed in disgust.  "Watching you, God, I don't even wanna talk no more."

My heart was bleeding in my chest. A burden was weighing down on me when I saw her hurting, but I couldn't bare the look on her face.

Even though Kajan is dead, jealous still burns my throat like the hotness from a porridge.

"Zendi you have to listen to me-"

So you can tell me we go be friends

Nah

Am not in this

I blocked her from mind and started for the door.

"Zendi, am not leaving you, okay?!"

Wait...

Did she just...

Pausing, I saw her attempting to get up off the bed.

"No, no, lay down. "

"Are you listening to me now?"

"Mhmm."

I started to feel bad. I was preventing her from talking because I already had the worst case scenario in my head. My heart pained in my chest and I become physically weak.

She opened her arms, wiping a tear that fell, "Come here."

Without a second thought, I went to her. Freeing my hands; I hugged her the best way I could with half of my body hanging off the bed. My head rest on her chest and I listened to the beating of her heart.

She's my calm.

"Am not leaving you, Zen. Am here, and am sorry that I didn't see that you genuinely loves me before."

My throat tightened as I battle within me. My limbs went free and I almost slipped from the bed.

Relief washes over me.

Her fingers brushed against my ears, and she pulls my face up,"Zendi, look at me."

My chin rest on her chest. I thighten the hug and  I felt calm for a few seconds.

Our eyes met and I sighed.

She's my peace.

"I'll love you through everything. Not because I don't know what love is,  but because my love comes from within. It's real. It's not because am navie and stupid or because I don't know what am looking for; jumping from a man to a woman. It's not because of that. It's not because we are friends and I'd rather be with you. It's not because of any negative shit that  you go think. It's because you've got a piece of me before I realized. It's because with you, I don't have to worry. I don't have to question anything," She carressd my cheek and pressed her lips in a puckered kiss on  my forehead.

I could feel everything that she says. I leaned up and kissed her full on the lips, but she wasn't finished.

She held on to me. I stretched for the remote and clicked her favorite colour. Blue lits up the room.

Her fingers traced mines and I couldn't help but lost myself in her eyes.

"It's because with you, am locked in and that's all I ever wanted. All I wanted was love, for somebody to love me and I love them back. It doesn't matter how wrong this looks, it feels right. It doesn't matter how my parents will view me, if they go say God don't want it like this which am sure mom go say; I'll stand with you as long as am happy and I believe God will understand that am happy."

She squeezes my hand and continued.

"Yes, you killed him, yes, it's wrong, am not supporting a killer. Am supporting you. You protected me. In by all means it was self defense. He deserves to die, that was just destiny. His time on earth was finished. Mi nah go cuss yuh or left yuh because a dat. We were friends and that's not gonna change. Am still your friend. It doesn't matter if yuh grow a dick and fuck me tomorrow am still your friend."

I love her

But I don't know how to say it

It's just three words but I don't know how to say it

It's never hard to say 'I love you,' to Nico, Amari or Paris. In fact it's never hard until with her.

I leaned over her and pressed my lips to hers, kissing her with all the love that I have in me.

With such gentle ness, and passion that grows within.

Taking her hands and placing it over my heart. I allow her to feel the beat.

My heart is racing and it's not from anger. It's not just excitement, but it's racing  because of this beautiful woman that looks up at me.

"I appreciate you. My infatuation. My heart aligns next yours," I whispered.

It doesn't matter how wrong it is, it feels right. This is where I belong. I wasn't the type to get up every day and call onto God, but I believe there's a supreme being, hence, if this is  giving my soul to the demons...Then this is the sin that am willing to live with.

_______________________________________

Thoughts?- It's a beautiful ending for their ups and downs.

Behind the tough exterior, I must admit; this was emotional to write.

The way Zendi loves her. Damn.

AGAIn: It y'all wondering how I pulled Zendi, honestly....this is my First time writing a lesbian, stud or whatever y'all call her... character. Her personality reminds me of myself so .... Used I a type of method to write.

Upcoming chapters will most likely focus on the others, especially the MAIN protagonist....Amari Jackson!

Vote.

Click that STAR icon to VOTE!!!