Chapter 12

We get to the pack house and we walk back to the room. I put my bags on the bed and lay down on the bed. Adam lays down beside me and I put my head in his shoulder. We stay in comfortable silence for a while before Adam speaks.

"How did it go with Emma?" He says. "Good, she's not happy that I left but she understands" I say.

He starts running his hand up and down my arm. "Who's the dick that punched me?" He said, his voice filled with annoyance.

"That's Ryan, Emma's mate. They've been together for a long time now." I saw and I start thinking about the first time Emma came running at me gossiping about Ryan.

I sit up on the bed and I decide to unpack my stuff, I was gonna get up when I heard Adam whimper. "What?" I look back at him to see him with a sad face. Literally, a sad face. He pats on where I was lying just now.

I giggle. "I have to unpack my stuff."  "Do you have to do that now?" He says pouting. "Yes." I said and chuckled. "Unless you wanna help me?" I say hoping that he'll say yes.

He sits up on the bed and thinks about it. "Fine, I'll help my poor princess." I stick my tongue out at him and he gives me a small laugh. I get up and made my way to my bags.

"Where do I put my clothes?" I say while giving him the duffel bag. "You can put them in the lower drawers, those are empty." He says while going to the bathroom to put my shampoo and all that in there.

I put all my clothes in drawer and when I lean on drawer and I see Adam frozen in his spot. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist.

"What are you looking at?" I say. He turns around and gives me my picture of me and my parents. I grab the picture and stare at it. My nerves took over me and suddenly I forgot to speak.

"Are they your parents?" He asks me in a soft voice. I look at him and back down at the picture and give him a sad smile. "Yeah" I say running my fingers through the frame.

I knew I was gonna tell Adam about my past one day, I just didn't expect it to be so soon. "What happened?" Adam asks.

I know he means about the day that his dad asked me about my parents and I had a panic attack. He knows something happened and he's not dumb enough to think that it didn't.

"I was five when my dad left us, it was at my birthday party. Well, it really wasn't a party. It was just me, my mom and dad. They had a heated fight and my mom told me to wait outside. She was crying and I never saw her cry. Later that night, he left. He didn't say goodbye or anything, he just packed his bags and left. At that moment I didn't know what was happening and when I asked my mom she just told me that he was gonna be back soon." Suddenly the memories started flooding back to me.

"Mommy? Where did daddy go?" I rubbed my sleepy eyes. Mom wiped away her tears and pulled me into her lap. "He'll be back soon, ok baby?" She said as she ran her fingers through my hair.

I rested my head on her shoulder and I started getting sleepy. Mom started crying silently as I fell asleep.

"Everyday I would wait outside for my dad. Waiting for his car to show up or for the sound of doorbell. I would do my homework on the front porch and when I was done I would wait for him. My mom knew what I was doing and I think I was hurting her more that she already was. The fact that I would wait for him somehow broke her heart. Soon, she started to get sick. She would have to stay home because she was vomiting all day or she just didn't have enough energy to get up. At that time I was about 10 years old."

It was starting to get dark and still no sign of my dad. At this point I started to think that maybe he wouldn't come back. I pushed those thoughts aside when my mom called me.

"Honey, come sit down." She said, her voice a bit tired. She patted the spot next to her on the couch and I went and sat next to her, facing her.

"Honey, there's something I need to talk to you about." She said in a calm voice.

"What's wrong?" I say. I couldn't help but start to panic a bit. Was something happening? Were we moving? Did she talk to dad? Has she even heard about dad?

"As you know, I haven't been feeling well this last couple of weeks. The results came back and it came positive." She said and her voice cracked a bit.

"What are you saying?" My breathing started to get heavy and I was pretty sure that the color drained away from my face.

"I have cancer, Riley." I couldn't hear anything after that. The whole world suddenly stopped and I could only hear the same thing over and over again.

'I have cancer, Riley. I have cancer, Riley. I have cancer, Riley.'

My mom was trying to say something to me but I couldn't bring myself back to my body. It's like I was watching myself being frozen on the spot, looking at my mom as she tried so hard not to cry in front of me.

"She had treatment for 2 years only. The first few months were great. She felt like she had the energy to get up, she would make some breakfast and she would go on her day as if nothing was happening. But at some point, it was like as if someone popped that happy balloon and she got bad. The treatments weren't working anymore, the doctors tried to give her some pills to brighten her day or to even give her a quarter of her energy so she can at least eat something."

"Mom, you need to eat something you can't just not eat." I told her as I tried to give her some soup.

"Riley, I'm not hungry. Just let me get some sleep ok?" She said pushing the spoon away from her. "It's 12:00pm already, at least eat something even if it's just a little bit." I tried putting the spoon in her mouth but she pushed it away again.

"I told you I'm not hungry." She said in a weak voice. I put the spoon back in the plate and watched as she fell asleep. My eyes began to water and I put the plate back in the counter.

I went to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. I gave myself a pep talk and I walked out. I went outside into the hallway to get some air.

I watched as the nurses would walk into a room talk to the patients and head out with a clipboard. They would go to the doctor and then the doctor would go inside and talk to the parents of the patient.

I went back inside and I heard my mom having trouble breathing. I walked over to her and I was right. I ran out the door and called the nurses and screamed for help. They made me wait outside until they could figure out what was happening.

"I knew once the doctor walked out that something bad had happened. He told me that the cancer had now spread out throughout her body and there's nothing that they could do."

I walked back inside the room and I couldn't help the tears that streamed silently down my face. They knew that it was best for her but I didn't know if I was ready to leave her. She's the only family I have left.

"Don't leave me, please" I couldn't control my sobs anymore, tears streamed uncontrollably down my face as I held my mom's hand.

"Riley" she said in a horse voice. "I'll always love you no matter what, remember that. Promise me that you'll be happy" she took my hand and gave it a weak squeeze.

And that's when I heard it, the flat line of the machine.

My sobs turned into screams and the nurses came rushing in. I was still holding on to my mom's hand as I saw her spirit leave her lifeless body.

I didn't want to let go, not yet. The nurses were trying to calm me down and trying to get me out of the room so that they could do her job. It took them a while before I gave in and I lay on the hospital floor crying my eyes out.

"And that's when I met Emma. Her mom took me in and we just kind of clicked. I was 12 years when that happened. I started to get adapted to my new life and soon I learned to put the past in the past. Not because I wanted too but because I had to." At some point we sat down on the balcony while I told Adam about all this.

Adam watched me intensely. Hearing every world I said, letting me pour my heart out. A few tears escaped but I quickly wiped them away. He stood up and made me stand up too and then he pulled me into a hug.

The thing about Adam is that in moments like this, where no words can be spoken, he does small acts of kindness that put me at peace. That me feel safe and alright.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist as he wrapped his around my shoulders. "I'm so sorry, Riley" he says in a low voice and I know he means it. He's not just saying sorry about my parents. He's sorry that I've been having to deal with this on my own. He's sorry that this happened to me.

We stayed liked that for a while, wrapped in each other's arms in silence.