Chapter Thirty Four

I open my eyes but close them from the brightness. I wait a couple of seconds before I open them again. When I open my eyes I look to Sawyer’s side of the bed and notice I’m alone. I don’t like this waking up alone. I’ve woken up alone my entire life and now that I have someone I can wake up next to every morning I want it to stay that way.

I sat up ready to start my day until I remember yesterday. That put a damper on my already upset mood. Wait is that why Sawyer left before I woke up? Did he go to find Alpha Ryan to tell him he’ll take him up on his offer? My heart hurts at the thought.

With the feeling of a tear rolling down my cheek, I get out of bed and head towards the bathroom. It hurts but if that is true I need to continue on and act like him leaving me doesn’t bother me. Without picking out an outfit for today I walk into the bathroom to take a shower. I turn on the water to the perfect hot temperature then strip out of my clothing before I get into the hot water. As I washed I let the tears freely fall down my face. This is the only time I’ll allow myself to feel this pain and to cry about it. Once I leave this bathroom I need to act like I’m fine and everything is okay.

I finished with my shower and step out. I wrap myself in a towel. I look at myself in the mirror. It does look like I’ve been crying but thankfully no one will be seeing my face until I look normal. I open the door and walk into the bedroom but stop when I find Sawyer sitting on the bed. What is he doing here?

He looks open when he notices me standing in front of him. He stands up and tries to walk up to me but I take a step back. A hurt look crosses his face when I see me stepping away from him.

“Babe, what’s wrong? I could feel the hurt through our bond” he tells me.

“Nothing,” I tell him. I turn away from him and walk towards the closet.

“Nothing? What I feel from the bond doesn’t feel like nothing. And it looks like you’ve been crying” Sawyer says as he follows me.

“I haven’t” is all I tell him. I blink my eyes trying to keep the tears in. I don’t know why but when I’m with him I have a difficult time keeping my emotions in check. “Amber I know something is wrong can you just tell me so I can make you feel better?” Sawyer asks frustration clear in his voice.

I stop walking and turn towards him. “You want to know what’s wrong?” I ask he nods. “Yes, baby I do,” he tells me. “You’re going to take Alpha Ryan’s offer aren’t you?” I ask struggling to keep my tears in. I can’t let him see how weak I am. Sawyer looks at me in shock. “Do you think I’m going to leave you just like that? Amber, I will never leave you. You are my one and only. If I have to tell you every hour every day for the rest of my life I will. I love you and I’m not going anywhere I promise” Sawyer tells me.

So I may feel a tad stupid now for earlier. Sawyer walks up to me and pulls me into a tight hug. “I’m sorry” I mumbled into his shoulder. “No, you have nothing to be sorry for. They got into your head. That isn’t on you. I should have stayed this morning to make sure you were alright” he tells me.

“Why did you leave?” I ask

“I wanted to spend the day with you so I woke up early to do some work. I don’t like falling behind. I was hoping to be back before you woke up but when I felt your feeling through the bond I got worried and hurried back.” He tells me.

I pull away from the hug and I look at the face of the man I love. I study him. Swayer looks down at me with a shy smile on his lips. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He asks. “I made a fool out of myself once again,” I tell him. Sawyer looks at me confused. “Why do you say that?” He asks.

I shrug “from earlier thinking you’d leave me and all. I know you wouldn’t. No other woman could make you feel the way I make you feel. Sawyer, can I ask you a question?” I ask.

“Anything for you baby girl,” he tells me. I look deep into his eyes before I ask him the question that will change our lives forever.

“Will you mark me?” I ask.

Sawyer stares at me then he opens his mouth then closes it again. He does that a couple more times before he finally says something. “Are you sure about this?” He asks all I do in reply is nod my head with a smile on my face. “I’m sure,” I tell him. Sawyer nods his head seeming to still be in shock by my question.

“I want our first time to be perfect for you baby girl. I’ll have everything set up in the gazebo. I can’t think of anywhere more perfect than there but also you’ll start your shift after so... outdoors will be a nice spot for that to happen” Sawyer tells me.

“I like the idea of doing outside in the secret garden. That’s where I knew I wanted to be with you. I didn’t want to leave that day. Not only because of you but because the garden was so beautiful” I tell him. Sawyer chuckles. He rests his hand on my cheek and leans in for a kiss. Our lips touch and the familiar sparks and fireworks go through my body. I love this feeling and I never want it to end.

When we pull away from our kiss Sawyer tells me that we’ll need to pack a few things. One is a nighty that I wouldn’t mind getting destroyed when I shift. He doesn’t want me to be naked in case the doctor, guards, or anyone else sees me. We also have to pack some clothes to change into after the shift for the same reason he doesn’t want anyone else seeing my body.

After we are all packed we leave our room. I’m nervous about what’s going to happen. After tonight I’m going to be connected to this man for the rest of my life. I’m excited but at the same time scared. But I’m hoping this will change the minds of those doubters who don’t believe I’m a good match for Sawyer and for being Luna Queen.

“It’s only midday and the mating won’t be taking place until after sunset. Our things will be handed off but first thing is first I need to feed my Queen” Sawyer tells me. We walk through the halls and take the elevator down to the first floor where the kitchen is located.

Once we reach the large kitchen I notice two plates of food and two glasses filled with a dark brown bubbling drink is already placed. “Here are our things to put in the garden,” Sawyer tells one of the maids as he hands her a bag. She takes the bag and curtsies before she leaves.

“Take a seat. I had the cooks make us a greek pasta salad with my favorite drink that isn’t alcohol Vanilla Coke. We may be eating in silence but my mind is anything but that. I’ve heard stories of humans turning into wolves. At the auction house, it was more like a warning. Don’t mate with a wolf the mark will kill you. But Sally would always debunk that.

I smile at the thought of her. I miss Sally dearly the only mother figure I had. I remember the first time I heard the story it freaked me out. Sally took me back to her room she would sit me on the stool and brush my hair. She would ask me what was wrong and I told her what I heard. She would chuckle “oh darling don’t listen to those nasty people. They enjoy seeing the fear in you girls. Don’t give them that power” she would tell me. “Plus that isn’t true. A marking as they call it will turn a human into a wolf and most of the time it would be successful. But the few rare times it killed the human was because they were not a true mate or the human wasn’t strong enough” she continued.

“You okay babe?” I hear Sawyer I mentally shack the thoughts out of my head and look towards him. I smile sadly at him.

“Yeah sorry. I was just remembering my caretaker at the auction house. Her name was Sally she was like a mother to me” I tell him. Sawyer nods not knowing what to say he goes back to eating. I go back to eating remembering more memories of Sally.

“Look, Amber, I need to talk to you about the mating,” Sawyer tells me once he’s all finished eating. I look at him confused “when I mark you, you’ll turn” before he could continue I stop him. “I know Sally told me,” I told him. Sawyer looks at me for a couple of seconds not saying a word. “So you’re okay with this?” He asks.

I nod my head “Sawyer I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. If I stay as a human I won’t be able to live a long life with you. I won’t be able to give you strong pups there’s a slim chance they could be human. Plus I need to prove to the kingdom and all packs that I am strong enough to be their Luna Queen.” I explain to him.

A smile grows on his face “no matter human or wolf you’ll be the perfect Queen” Sawyer tells me as he leans towards me. I smile and meet him halfway. When our lips touch it isn’t a normal sweet kiss. No, this one has passion and need. Through the kiss, I can feel how much he needs me. Tingles go through my body at the thought of us. Him naked on top of me kissing my neck nibbling it as he thrusts into me at a steady pace.

I hear a growl as Sawyer pulls away. I look at him in concern as he has his eyes shut. “Sawyer are you okay?” I ask worriedly. He growls again. “I can smell your need, my love. It’s making it difficult not to take you now and here” he tells me in a gruff voice. The sound of his voice is not making this any easier.

Sawyer lets out another growl. “Baby girl you need to push those feelings away just for a little bit longer. I don’t want any unmated mate smelling what only I should” Sawyer growls as he opens his beautiful black eyes. A blush covers my cheeks. “I’m sorry I can’t help it,” I tell him. He smirks “I love knowing I have the same effect on you that you have on me. It’s been so difficult not to let my hands wander your body. Make you moan my name with just my figures” Sawyer growls.

“Stop it,” I tell him while looking around the room making sure no one is around us. I move around my seat starting to get restless. Can’t time go by faster? I need this man between my legs like now. “Come let’s go to my office we still have a couple of hours left,” Sawyer tells me.