c h a p t e r. 11

"We hunger in earnest for that which we cannot consume."

― Nenia Campbell

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okay continue I'm just happy :D))

chapter 11

Since Atlas was a being a douchebag to Cas-- surprisingly he was nice to everyone but the celestial?-- and took his room, sleeping arrangements got creative the previous night.

Nyx and Damien claimed the pull out bed-couch-thing while Viv fell asleep on Cas' bean bag, Eris and Axel fighting over the big couch before just getting too tired to bicker any longer and agreed to share (their siblings got photos of the awkward cuddling positions) and then that left Cas and the musician.

The celestial thankfully wasn't as awkward as him, and suggested for them just to share a bed.

With his Tourette's, Jazz was warned that he might get hit or kicked by accident but honestly, as someone who just plops down regardless of when or where he is when tired to sleep, that didn't matter much to him.

Besides, he got free cuddles!

Jazz is the first one to wake up-- and he wakes up to divine bliss.

The celestial was soundly asleep on top of him, curled into his chest and head delicately pressed under his chin, nose against his neck, breathing softly. His hands were clutching the bottom of the sweater-- Jazz's sweater-- he's wearing and his legs tucked between the musician's.

Jazz himself had his arms wrapped tightly, even in his sleep it seemed, wrapped around Cas, the blanket they were using now a pool around their hips, his body heat enough to keep himself and the typically cold God warm.

"Hmm," He hummed, moving slightly to press a kiss onto Cas' forehead-- thankful that like the rest of his family, he never has stinky morning breath. "You're a good thing to wake up to, Cas."

He kisses his cheeks too, then his nose, and-- not quite resisting the temptation-- lightly pecks his lips as well, a soft dusting of pink against his cheeks, mellowing out his freckles.

"Ngh," The celestial sleepily replied, gray eyes squinting open and making Jazz flush a deep red by just eye contact alone. "Mornin', Jitterbug."

And maybe it had to do with the fact that he just processed that he had the honor of cuddling with Cas literally all night long.

It was honestly better sleep than he got in months.

"Why are you already blushing?" Cas chuckles lightly. "I didn't even do anything."

"Yeah but you're really cute," Jazz pouts. "It's too much for my brain to handle in the morning."

Teasingly, Cas' lightning-strike eyes flash and he wiggles slightly to be able to point to the door, "I can always go."

"No!" Jazz whines, tugging him back against his chest fully and snuggles him hopefully persuasively to make sure he stays. "I'm yours and it's too early." he grumbles for a moment, realizing his accent is coming out again. "So more cuddles?"

"Sure," The celestial chuckles. "More cuddles."

Then-- fucking then-- the horrible noise of Axel trying to play guitar blares through the otherwise peaceful morning air and startles Jazz, the ugly and pitifully bright yellows and neon purples, along with a color that's blue but not quite blue but definitely not anything else, creeping in from under the door.

Burying his face into Cas' neck as the celestial swear, the musician releases a deep groan of annoyance, his eyelashes fluttering against soft skin and he hears as the other boy's heartbeat picks up.

Pouting in slight confusion as to why, Jazz tilts his head up to look at him, but as the noise comes closer, mint eyes lose the ability to see past anything but the complementary colors and that stupid little jig they do in front of his eyes.

"Jasper?" Cas says, voice cluing the musician in that he knows something is wrong but since he can't see his songs or tell what green is dancing around his head, he's clueless as to what the celestial might think. "Are you okay?"

"Hm?" Jazz moves his eyes down, resting back against what he knows is his pillow, hands tightening on Cas' hips as he shifts on top of his chest. There's a slight ruffle, a movement of something but-- he's pretty sure Axel is being a little, petty bitch and just standing outside of the celestial's room to annoy Atlas, but consequently getting Jazz and Cas in the mix since they're just on the opposite side of the hall-- can't see it. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"Why can't you see?" Cas' voice is gruffer than usual and, by instinct alone, Jazz follows the ethereal green flash that breaks through everything else with his eyes.

God, he winces, I must seem so fucked up, so weird right now.

"Urm," His fingers tap on the celestial's hip, instantly stopping the nervous action when a slightly colder than his hand is pressed down onto his wrist. Usually he could see if something he was doing was bothering his roommate, he could tell if something made him uncomfortable or upset or angry. What he liked, and what he didn't just by seeing him. But now he couldn't-- and felt a whole lot more awkward cuddling someone he could barely make out.

Stupid D'Silvetta.

Stupid lack of guitar skills.

Stupid synesthesia.

"Jitterbug," His jaw is caught in a soft grip, enough that makes him aware of the still healing bruises on his face but not enough to hurt. "Tell me."

"The m-music," Jazz blushes, feeling completely ridiculous. "Axel is playing it, he always makes this really weird, like really weird, colors, and the way the dance-- o-oh, um, the, the song moves? I don't, well, there's... it's too bright."

Abruptly, Cas was shifting on his lap, hips tensing and the perfect size underneath Jazz's palms as he shouts, "Shut the fuck up Axel!"

"I'm not talking." The stupid D'Silvetta oh-so-helpfully replies.

"Put the guitar down before I beat you with it." The celestial, purposely this time, growls out, legs moving against Jazz and he realizes that he's going to stand-- and probably fight his Axel-- and tightens his grip, arm coming around him to keep Cas in place.

Then a small but gritted out, "Please." is tugging at Jazz's heart strings.

And he can't fucking resist, especially when Axel laughs out, "I know Jasper's a good kisser but you don't have to be so salty that my amazing skills are interrupting you two."

This time his snarl does break past the bright colors in a curtain of moss rage and Cas tenses against him as a tic makes him shout, "Sasuke!" meaning he was very angry.

But that stupid D'Silvetta deserved it, so...

"U-um," Jazz hesitates, not quite sure how angry the celestial, and slowly lets go of Cas' hips. "Don't, urm, don't break anything?"

Especially not his guitar-- it was a present from his Goddess mama.

Having Cas' comforting presence move away from him, body swiftly climbing off his lap almost made him panic and ask the celestial to stay and just continue to let Axel make him blind.

The door is slammed open and then--

Then the sound of awful guitar playing stops.

It takes a couple seconds to get his vision back but by then Jazz is already out of bed and stumbling towards his bathroom. Getting ready for the day, he does his business and brushes his teeth, leaving his curls a mess before heading back into the main part of his room.

He switches out his gray sweatpants for black ones and slips on a loose t-shirt before pausing by the door, frowning at the conversation he hears.

"--beating people up Alpha," It's Atlas saying this, tired conviction in his tone. "I don't want to tell Mama you put someone in the hospital again."

Again?

"If you don't want her to know," Cas replies, a noise that sounds awfully lot like something hitting flesh going through the air. "Don't tell her."

Hearing Atlas scoff and walk away, he opens the door, a soft creak as Jazz pokes his head out, wild curls all over the place. His relief at seeing his guitar safely resting against the wall is squashed at seeing Axel, face covered in blood, passed out on the floor.

It reminds him a bit too much of how he met Cas.

And the celestial-- he was the one who did this.

"C-cas?" Jazz's voice shakes slightly, not realizes that his roommate knew how to fight, mint eyes widening when he sees red marks and the sign that the stupid D'Silvetta got a good couple hits in. "I-I, um, you... Are you okay? I s-said, I said not to break anything! Including yourself." He pouts, worried as his hands clench onto the door.

"I didn't break anything I just-" Ticing, Cas' hand veers to the side and Jazz flinches because, well-- Jazz flinches because he's had people whose fast movement meant pain.

"Jasper," The celestial's voice goes soft, hands raising by his head in an innocent gesture. "I won't hurt you. Axel just...he just-"

Jazz knows that.

He knows that Cas wouldn't hurt him.

He knows he's safe; the green doesn't lie.

But his anxiety is a bitch and never trusts someone.

"I-I um," Jazz sees the basil of fear, the olive of self-loathing against Cas' song and doesn't quite know why it's there, and he wants to help, he wants to make sure both of them are okay but his body isn't listening. He's stuck in place and can do nothing to stop it. "I... you're, you're bleeding, Cas."

The celestial just stares at him, gray eyes not wide but definitely alarmed.

"Cas?" He tried again, forcing his hand off of the door but his anxiety didn't quite appreciate how open his body felt and he went back to clutching at the wooden door. "Are, a-are you-- are..." He takes a deep breath. "Are you o-okay?"

No response again.

Jazz can't help what he does not, anxiety on the reel.

He quickly shuts the door, rushing over to where he keeps his thickest sweatshirts and throws on the thickest one. He grabs his phone and his earbuds and goes to his favorite playlist and turns the volume up loud.

Music is safe.

Music helps.

And now, hopefully, he'll help the celestial.