c h a p t e r. 24

"It's precisely in despair that you find the most intense pleasure, especially if you are already powerfully conscious of the hopelessness of your predicament." -Fyodor Dostoyevsky

chapter 24

Jazz, when Castor asked him to wear his extra jersey a week after they got home from the castle, would never pass up to wear his clothing.

Not a lot of the god's clothes fit him, him being so much smaller than the musician but his extra jersey was about ten times too big on him and just the right size to be a fitted t-shirt on his boyfriend.

Viv and Jazz got a spot that was practically on the field, they were right in front and behind the french, just one platform up and able to see everything-- from this distance, if Cas was on his side of the field, he could just make out the colors of his song.

He wanted to kiss the celestial very, very bad but not only was he in the middle of what seemed to be like a intense game-- he didn't really know all that much about football, if he was honest, but he was happy to support his boyfriend-- but they were also in front of everyone including his team, so the musician doubted his god wanted to kiss him in front of everyone.

Jazz... feels like he's someone who not a lot of people would be proud to have.

He knows that Castor greatly cares about him, he knows his god appreciates him and likes him and enjoys his company, but he also knows that those things don't mean that the celestial also wants other people to know the musician is his.

"So," Viv began as the game began with a set of 'Set. Hut!' and Fly and Castor shoot off in that powerplayer way that's practically carrying the whole team. "How's it going with Awesome Roommate over there?" She gestures towards the field and Jazz flush a soft pink.

"Well, um, I actually have something to tell you--"

"You slept with him?"

"What? No!" Jazz reared back, going red right up to his ears. "We did not sleep together, you perv. He asked me to be his boyfriend, and I said yes! That's it."

"I figured," His best friend snickered, a wide grin pulling over her lips as both her hazel eyes and her lavender song twinkled at him. "But I'm happy for you, J, all jokes aside. Awesome Roommate... he's good for you, I can tell. Plus he makes you happy and he's respectful."

"Thank you, Viv," Jazz knocks their shoulders together with a smile, eyes watching Castor make a really cool move between two dudes, one crashing into his back and the other almost tripping him up-- but the god doesn't fall, he gets to the other side of the field in one piece and still holding onto the ball. "Is that a good thing or--"

The star's and stadium's football team erupting into cheers answers that question and Jazz happily claps along, whistling for his boyfriend, a bit lost in all the sound around him but seeing as Castor tugs his helmet off and throws it at Flynn, whose silver laugh he could see from his seat.

Jazz wrinkles his nose.

What is the celestial doing?

Why is he coming towards him?

What?

With wide eyes, the musician watches as Castor easily hops over the fence and climbs the stand to be right in front of him, grinning widely as he leans closer.

"Jitterbug," He says. "Kiss?"

Uh, um, what now?

Kiss? In front of everyone?

He is okay with that?

Oh fuck, Jazz realized, fumbling in his seat to grab Castor's waist, he's showing me off.

Kissing the god without hesitation, he pulls their bodies closer as Castor's arms wrap around his neck, deepening the kiss with a warm tongue and soft lips-- the crowd cheering but everything besides how his star tastes and feels is lost onto the musician.

It's just him-- it's just Cas, tasting like stardust.

Pulling away after a growl, Castor smirks down onto him, lips kiss-bruised and face heated as he grips onto the edge of the stand, having leaned over to kiss his boyfriend completely.

"Wait for me after the game?" He asks as if Jazz would go anywhere else.

Not trusting his voice, and a bit too red to say anything anyways and not wanting to let out the choking noise that would probably ensue, Jazz just nods and lets the large smile on his face stay there.

Vivianna cheering loudly breaks him out of his daze enough to realize that Castor was heading back to Flynn to change and shower in the locker room-- but not loud enough to knock him of his 'oh fuck he's hot' thoughts as the god turns back to him with a cocky wave and a wink.

"Okay, so," The weirdo laughs, poking Jazz's incredibly warm cheek as they ignored the coos and congradulations of the crowd around him; that made him even more flustered, too. "That just happened."

"Um, fuck, yeah it did," He sighs out, hand coming up to his mouth with a small laugh. "Oh my shit, I love that man."

"Wait," His best friend laughs louder, excitedly clapping her hands. "Did you just-- you did! Aw, Jazz!"

"Shush," He wiggles a finger in her direction, unable to stop his excited and overjoyed smile. "You're not going to tease me about this. I love him, he's my butterfly, he's my boyfriend but I'm not gonna tell him yet."

"But--"

"Nope, my heart can't handle this," Jazz shakes his head, still cupping his mouth and trying to cool down from how heated Castor's kiss made him feel. "It's literally going to explode from how fucking hot he is, Vivianna. Don't make him murder me from attractiveness. If I tell him I love him, and he loves me back-- dead. I'll be dead."

"You're overdramatic," She huffs out, a wicked grin on her lips. "But this'll be amusing watching you struggle not to say it so like, I'm all for this."

"Jerk."

"Bitchass."

"Fucknugget."

"Prude."

"Yeah, yeah," Jazz waved her off, mint eyes catching onto an annoyed ethereal green as he stands, looking over to where Flynn was annoying his boyfriend. "C'mon, we gotta go save a mortal from a god's wrath."

"But it's so rare I get affection from you!" Flynn's loud whine turns into a wince as soon as they reach him, Castor hitting him as he struggles to get out of the blonde's awkward hug.

"Bitch," The god hits him again. "Does this look like affection?"

"Yes!" Vivianna shouts, laughing maniacally due to her best friend's now sour expression-- him not appreciating the blondie all over his boyfriend. "Yes it does! Affection is a coal that must be cooled; else, suffered, it will set the heart on fire."

Shakespeare? Jazz recognizes the quote. Really?

"Ooh!" Flynn cackles, making Castor jump when he releases his arms just to slap the god's ass. "Burn."

Um, how about fuck no?

Jazz grabs his boyfriend from around the middle, large arms dragging him back to his body before swiftly picking him up and holding him to the musician's chest, his head buried into his neck.

Almost instantly, Castor locks his ankles at the base of his spine and leans against him, relacing as he kisses the top of his head, "I'm taking this as you being okay with me showing you off?"

"Um, y-yes, absolutely," Jasper nuzzles his face against the celestial's neck before pulling away to make eye contact. "And, I can show you off as mine, too?"

Flushing, he nodded. "If you want to."

Of course he wants to.

Smiling, he feels his dimples dig into his cheeks slightly as he gives the god a soft, small kiss before letting him down-- keeping them cuddled together as Jazz hugs the celestial from behind.

His best friend coughs but Jazz ignores it, just pressing closer as Castor's green changes, making the musician think he responded but did so without saying anything.

She motions between them in reply, "Are we not going to talk about how you defiled my best friend in front of five thousand people?"

"I didn't defile him," Castor scoffs, green going into sunflowers, rose leaves, and a cocky mint. "That would be like getting caught by the camera man fucking behind the bleachers. What I did was this," Raising on his toes, the star kisses the junction of his jaw and neck, making Jazz go bright red and for his heart to pound all over again. "Only more direct."

"Why are gay people so cute together?" Viv scoffs. "Just ugh, you're a grumpy asshole one minute and around him you're like, the sweetest person ever. Not to mention that giant puppy."

The celestial's arms cross over Jazz's, "I'm not sweet."

"Star," Jazz pouts because of that and because he's not a puppy. "You're sweet to me."

"Just because I'm not as mean to--" Castor growled, shaking his head. "--you as I am to other people, doesn't mean I'm sweet."

"No, you're a sweetie. My sweetie." The musician insists. "You always listen when I ramble to you. You peel my oranges for me because I accidentally ruin them too much. You don't mind the weird places I fall asleep at and you cuddle with me in them. You give me kisses that taste like strawberries or chocolate. You buy me books and make me cute notes with different constellations on them cause you know I like stars. I could go on, Castor, I could."

It's not a threat, more like Jazz just knows ways to make the god go red, too.

He continues, "You're sweet, grumpy but sweet."

Castor only grumbles and proceeds to hide into Jazz's side as the weirdo squeals and coos at them both, Fly picking up the conversation with a laugh.

"I got to go, meeting my girl at her dad's." He grins. "She's watching our final game, Cassie."

"Cool," Castor mumbles. "Tell Scar I said hi."

Scar? Jazz knows a Scar-- his Tio Law and Eli's adopted daughter Scarlette, who was a firecracker and a person not afraid to tell someone to suck her dick if prompted. She was probably one of his favorite cousins.

After Viv proceeds to tell her oh-so-great story of how she was playing football and managed to flatten the ball against someone's head, Castor tugs on his sleeve slightly, leaning heavier against his chest.

"Jasper?" The god says, tilting his head up so Jazz could meet his lightning-strike gray eyes. "Can you take me home? And can--" He squeaks, hand clenching on his sweatshirt a few times-- one of his tics he got when he was rather tired. "Can we um, share a bed? After the date week, I'm not...I'm not sleeping."

Jazz frowns. "Like how you used to? I didn't know that, we've been falling asleep on the couch together a lot more than normal."

"Final game is coming- -mother ducklings- -up so the days I've been getting home later, I just haven't slept."

"Wait you mean you're not sleeping at all?" He grows concerned, pulling the celestial closer, gently gripping his chin and angling his face. The bags that were always under his eyes were a shade or two darker than usual, his eyes a bit red and his skin paler, now that the adrenaline of the game wore off.

The musician wanted to kick himself for not seeing it sooner.

"Yeah? It's normal, for me, I guess." Castor shrugs, a growl breaking form his lips. "Five days is my limit before I pass out." It's bad that he knows that. "But my final game is coming up, so are winter exams, so um...I just- -mother ducklings- -wanted to know if you're okay sleeping together? Like, exactly like at the castle? Nothing more -just sleep."

"That's...not healthy, Castor." Jazz scolds him, squishing his cheeks together with one hand, making his lips purse slightly. "If you needed my help to sleep, you should've asked earlier, dumb dumb. Of course, I not only am happy to help, but I'm happy to have a cuddle buddy all night."

Nodding, the star presses closer, head dunking down to rest against his chest and the musician cups the back of his head, feeling a bit protective because this is his protector but he's super tired so now he's in charge of keeping them safe.

"He's such an asshole," Vivianna makes a weird noise-- looking like a violet sprouting in the middle of jello which is enough to give Jazz a pause. "But fuck if he isn't cute."

"Not cute," He grumbles. "Just tired."

Lies, Jazz huffs to himself. He's not an asshole but he is cute.

Pushing himself away from Jazz's chest, for whatever reason, Castor rubs at his eyes and stumbles back a step, cursing underneath his chest.

Oh fuck, what if he falls?

Double fuck, he looks really, really tired.

Jazz wished he would've come to him sooner.

"Jitterbug?" Castor sees the look on his boyfriend's face. "Three nights isn't that bad, I'm just--" He squeaks, head tilting to the side in a tic. "--extra tired after the game."

"C'mon, Star." Jazz grabs his bag off of the ground before holding onto his god again. "Let's go home."

"Can I come?" Viv raises her hand. "Ahmik's visiting his parents so I'm lonely. J, come on dude, you're the only one I can annoy now.".

"Sure." Jazz says after looking down at Castor to see if it was okay with him, only receiving a shrug and an uncaring viridian. "But keep it down so he can sleep."

"I grew up with five of my siblings still in the home," The celestial informs, sounding exhausted. "Noise doesn't- -noise, noise, noise- -bother me."

"You're swaying, Castor." The musician frowns, hands shifting on his boyfriend's sides. "Can I carry you?"

"Hmm? Oh," Shrugging again, the god just blinks up at him. "Sure."

Dipping down, Jazz wraps an arm around the back of Castor's thighs and moves the celestial's arms around his shoulder, lifting him into the air in a koala bear side hug, easily holding onto him and letting him stay comfortable-- and fall asleep if he wants to without worrying about falling.

Chuckling, Castor kisses just above his collarbone, "You're my boyfriend."

"I know," Jazz sighs, smiling slightly as he sees his boyfriend's happy seafoam and sunflower colors dancing in his song. "You're mine too."

The god hums in reply, and the musician can't help but to mouth 'I'm so fucking lucky' to his best friend who rolls her eyes back in amusement.

But it was true.

Jazz really did feel lucky having someone like Castor as his boyfriend.