Chapter 18. Useless Saint

The saint’s HP displayed on the status screen was 19,500. Even now, I couldn’t believe that she had that much health. She’s only good for tanking...

“Should we just ask each other questions about each other?”

The saint retorted in an annoyed tone at Necro’s suggestion.

“Should we hold another vote? Like a proper democracy?”

“Why are you angry at me?”

“Who should I be angry at, then? Ah! I suppose we can hold a vote to choose that as well?”

Girl really had a temper.

“Now, now. You can put off the lover’s quarrel for later.”

The two immediately shouted back at me.

“Lovers my ass!”

“Who said we’re lovers?!”

So shy, they are.

“The conversation isn’t getting anywhere.”

I said this, and immediately threw a question.

“First off, your titles. It’s not important, but... Why do you have two titles of a saint? It’s quite strange, don’t you think? Does the system just award titles to people who gets called by said title a lot?”

The saint stiffened a little. But before anything got weirder, Necro shook away the question as if it was nothing.

“Don’t worry about it, don’t worry about it! It’s just a title.”

I could tell how shaken he was.

“Like you said, it just sticks when people call you by a certain title. That’s how it is.”

“Feels like you’re hiding something...”

“No, no! I’m not hiding anything! It’s not like you get stats when you get a title anyway, so why are you so interested in it? Move on, move on!”

I asked my next question with a suspicious feeling.

“Then tell me next about why you have -30 stats to your health regen...”

“That’s!”

Again, Necro paled when I asked this question. The question was directed at the saint though... Was he supposed to be her manager or what?

What was she hiding?

That title, and the -30 to the health regen. I couldn’t tell what they were planning.

“It’s fine. ”

The saint raised her hand, and stopped Necro.

“I’ll explain it myself.”

She took off the bracelet on her left arm, and put it on the table. It was shaped in the form of a snake biting its tail.

[Snake of Infinity = Ouroboros]

- Rank: D+

- Strengthens the effect of autophagy.

One word in particular struck out to me.

“Autophagy...?”

In layman’s terms, it would basically meant the cells would consume themselves. The saint responded to this casually.

“It’s a diet bracelet.”

“.......”

So that’s where the -30 to her health regen came from. But that can’t be the reason why Necro was so agitated. As I thought, lies were mixed into this.

“So, what are the other items, then?”

The saint began to put all her items, except for her dragon boots, on the table. I’ll start off with the strange ring with spikes on it.

[Devourer Ring]

- Rank: D+

- Instantly digests all food that is eaten, and allows one to eat up to three times one’s own weight.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

“A diet bracelet and a ring that lets you eat a lot...”

I’m supposed to make a disappointed face here, right? It was a stupid pair of items, after all. I tried thinking about the average person’s reaction to such a thing, and imitated it.

“......”

The saint didn’t respond. I wonder why? Wasn’t she supposed to tackle me here? Whatever. Let’s move on.

[Frog Wallet]

- Rank: C

- A frog wallet every wizard from the Abyss possesses. Only the owner of the wallet can open it, and the wallet is big enough to contain about 500 liters of water. It is possible to take in objects bigger than the wallet itself.

I’ve seen it several times before. The saint used it to store books and teacups inside. Next is... A beautiful ring. It was created with a combination of green, blue, and red gems to form a flower.

[Promise of a Fairy King]

- Rank: C-

- A ring that allows one to receive help from a fairy. However, it does not grant wishes.

So fairies did exist.

“I’ve seen enough of the items. Now, what kind of magic can you use?”

The saint grinned, as if she had been waiting for this question, and showed me her list of skills.

[Shining Buster]

- The saint’s ultimate attack. She gathers holy power in her fist and punches. The afflicted area becomes healed. Be sure to cooly shout the name of the skill upon use.

[Shining Low Kick]

- The saint’s ultimate attack. She gathers holy power in her legs and kicks. The afflicted area becomes healed. Be sure to cooly shout the name of the skill upon use.

[Shining Dempsey Roll]

- The saint’s ultimate attack. She gathers holy power in her hips...

I threw the list in front of me to the side.

“Are you stupid?!”

I’ve never seen someone so useless!

“You just put the word shining in front of everything! And since people get healed when you hit them, your attacks are meaningless!”

She heals by beating on her allies. This was the saint’s fighting method. The saint puffed up her nonexistent chest.

“Ahem! Just what do you think of me as? I’m a white magician. I don’t have any skills that harm. Ah! Of course, it’s possible for me to use light and water magic.”

I scrolled through the list of skills. Every single one of them were strange blessings and healing skills. She had no attack skill.

“I’m damn good at healing you know. Ah, using them on you should be super painful, though.”

That was the problem. If I wasn’t dead, I’d have gotten a lot of help from her, but right now, I was a corpse. I didn’t synergize properly with the saint.

“You should learn an attack skill.”

The saint smirked.

“I only need Shining Buster to beat you up.”

“That’s pretty much verbal abuse?!”

“Oh dear. You seem to be unaware of what healers do in a party. This is why newbies are...”

The saint crossed her arms and showed me a face full of disappointment. What was up with her confidence? Was there something that I didn’t know as a newbie to this world?

“Just what is the role of the healer...?”

The saint raised her chin after hearing this question.

“The queen.”

“What the hell is that?!”

“Mm...”

She seemed to be deep in thought. After thinking for a bit, the saint asked a question back at me.

“A person who gets served? Maybe?”

...I give up. I’ll just have to cross her off the list of combat capabilities. She’s dumb, too.

“I’m done with the saint. Now, Necro.”

“What do you mean, you’re done?! I feel hurt?”

Yeah, whatever.

“Eh? What? You’re done already?”

Necro stood up when he heard his name being called.

“Ok, just wait a second. Let me put on my equipment.”

“You can just show me.”

“I have to wear it later anyway.”

I thought what he was fiddling with was a brown belt, but upon closer inspection, I found that it was a human spine. When it was put it on his back, the spine stuck itself on.

Kigigigi!

Bones resembling centipede legs came out to cover Necro’s body. It was almost like Necro had his ribs growing outside of him.

[Bone Collector]

- Rank: C

- A magic armor shaped like a skeleton. Can shapeshift depending on how much danger the user is in. It can create various bone equipment, and it helps the user cast magic spells that uses bones.

- Bone Mountain: Collects bones in an alternate dimension. The collected bones are used to fix the Bone Collector when it gets damaged.

“This is my main armor. My weapon is...”

Necro took out a knife from of his coffin, spun it on his hand once, and put it in his scabbard.

It was the weapon that ate the children.

“Gebesh. Remember it? The knife that eats flesh. Its stats are awesome and all, but there’s one problem with it.”

“Problem?”

“It’s cursed. If I just leave it out, a cannibalistic demon gets summoned at night. Quite a troublesome one to boot.”

“A demon...”

“Yeah, it exists. It doesn’t even have skin, and yet it’s damn hard to kill. Gets pretty annoying. That’s why I decided to seal it up while I use it. It’s still pretty good, though. Cuts well.”

He should probably be able to use that in his necromancy as well. He might use Gebesh and the Bone Collector to create a meat puppet. I summed up my feelings for that weapon in one sentence.

“Looks like it’d appear in a horror movie.”

“Right? I always ask people to do a test of courage using this knife, but they all refuse. I don’t get them.”

“Of course they’d refuse.”

“Hey, what about this is so wrong? Isn’t it fun? Pretty real?”

“You can revive with Overdeath whenever you want.”

This guy wasn’t sane either. Necro sat down on the sofa.

“Despite being a murderer, you’re kind of a coward, aren’t you?. Isn’t a murderer supposed to be friends with a cannibalistic demon?”

“You think I’m a monster?”

“You are a monster though. Ever seen a corpse talk?”

I want to talk to someone normal. I ignored Necro and checked out Gebesh’s stats.

+0.2 to health regen.

Since a normal person’s health stat was 10, holding it for fifty seconds would heal just about any wound. Of course, it wasn’t anything compared to the saint’s health regen, but... Suddenly, a question came into my head.

“Do you actually know how to use knives?”

“Do I know how to?”

Necro grinned, took out the knife, and threw it. The knife managed to slice a centipede on a column perfectly in half.

“Didn’t It tell you? If you don’t throw away the stereotypical view of a mage in this world, you’re going to get killed really fast? You can’t think of them as normal scholars. Think of them as demons equipped with guns. That’s what a mage is in this world.”

I turned to look at the saint.

“A demon, huh...”

The saint, who had been munching on a cream bun on the sofa, hugged her bread as if it was going to get snatched right away from her. Her puffed up cheeks reminded me of a squirrel.

“Uumph omph mmph omm?”

Omph..? How dare she act cute. This damn useless saint.