Talking to Yourself

"That needs to go back right now. I don't want hear any damn excuses!"

Michael pursed his lips and grabbed some cleaner from the cabinet by the door. He wasn't sure who had left it there, but he greatly appreciated it. It was a basic carpet cleaner and didn't mention anything about pet stains, but he dumped a good amount of it on the spot anyways, then began pressing paper towels, that had also been left, atop it.

"I got it from the animal shelter."

"So what? Take it back."

"But they already used his cage for another dog. They said they needed to make room and I didn't want them to make room for new dogs by getting rid of the ones who had been there a little longer."

"That's part of life. Owners buy dogs irresponsibly." Church enunciated the word carefully and glared at Michael. "Then when they can't keep them or they are sick of taking care of something that actually requires work, they dump it at the shelter. It sucks for the dog but that's what happens... and that dog needs to be out of here. Now."

Michael's shoulders sagged in defeat as he got up and trudged over to Hanna, helping him get his shorts back up and the button fastened. Then he went over to the puppy, who was trying to chew on the edge of one of Church's guest chairs, and scooped him up into his arms.

"I'm not going to take him back there. I'll find him somewhere to go."

Before Church could argue Michael ran out the door, wincing when he heard Hanna scream for his puppy.

I'm sorry, kiddo. I tried, but I'm not going to fight him when he's my only paycheck. And if I just leave it there, he'll probably eat it when you're not looking just to be rid of the thing.

Taking the elevator down to the ground floor, Michael stopped over at the receptionist's desk and asked if she knew anyone who might be interested in the dog. Surprisingly, she gave him a few names and told him what floor and office they were working at. Michael thanked her and quickly ran back to the elevator, making his way to the first person.

Well, they shot him down as soon as he told them that it was going to get really big.

Okay, next one.

The second person took one look at the amount of fur on it and shook her head with a disgusted look while mumbling something about having to clean up after her husband enough, she didn't need a dog with so much fur to deal with.

Stingy.

Grumbling under his breath, Michael went to the last two people, who were thankfully working on the same floor... but again, they didn't want it. One wanted a chihuahua and the other, well, technically wanted it, but he didn't want to have to pay for its vetting when it was time for shots or if it got sick.

Michael stomped back down to the first floor and slid into a sitting position against one of the walls. People were eyeing him because he definitely wasn't dressed in his fancy whatever suit and he had a fluffy puppy sitting in his lap, but whatever. Looking down at the fuzzball, he gave it a slight smile and poked its big black nose.

"You won't go back, I promise. I'll figure something out."

It yawned and curled up in his lap like a cat, making him chuckle a little.

"Yeah, go ahead and take a nap. I know peeing on a demon's carpet must have taken a lot out of you... pee-wise, at least."

"Come on, Hanna. Stop ignoring me. It's not going to get you the puppy back."

The little boy had been sitting in the corner facing the wall ever since Michael had left with the furry beast. Well, at first he'd grabbed his dog rope toy he'd gotten him awhile ago and gone to stand by the door waiting for it to come back, but when Church told him that he couldn't play with it again, he burst out crying. Since he didn't exactly coddle children, he got some work done as Hanna cried himself out... and now he had been sitting in the corner for at least an hour or two silently sniffling.

If only he'd behave like this every time I have to work. I'd actually get things done.

Setting his finished papers aside, Church pushed his chair back and stood. A few bones cracked in his back, making him groan from relief.

"We're leaving Hanna, get up."

The boy ignored him completely.

"Really? It was just a stupid dog. You get to pet them all the time when we see them on the sidewalk."

When he was ignored again, Church just walked over and picked him up, getting a scream that really made him wish he hadn't let Michael leave to get the stupid mutt.

"Stop it right now, Hanna! It was not your dog from the beginning! If you keep misbehaving you'll get no dinner for tonight and go to bed early."

Church carried him out of the office and towards the elevator but the kid just wouldn't shut up. Inside the elevator was even worse, and his head was beginning to throb by the time they got to the first floor.

"This is ridiculous!"

Everyone was staring from the second he stepped off the elevator with Hanna squirming in his arms and still screaming. A few people were even snickering at their boss's dismay.

Bastards!

Hanna was seriously getting close to a spanking... but then he suddenly shut up.

Looking down, Church's brows rose to see that he was looking over by the front doors. When he followed his gaze, he gave a deep sigh and set him down. Hanna was gone in a blur, running like crazy, and even falling once on the hard tile, before scrambling into Michael's lap... and right on top of the poor dog. The little puppy squirmed out from under him and grabbed the rope toy Hanna still carried as Michael looked up at Church while trying to keep the two rambunctious toddlers in his lap.

"I told you to get rid of that thing."

The words were growled in a deep warning, but Michael just frowned and looked down at Hanna, now holding the puppy happily as the pup held his new rope toy with even more excitement than the boy.

"I can't find anyone who wants him."

"Then just take him back to—No!"

"That thing is not coming to my apartment!"

"Then I'll sleep in my car again!" Michael replied back.

They both paused in their shouting match as they realized that most of the people in the lobby were now staring and whispering.

"That's not coming in my car."

"Then I'll walk."

It was at least a twenty minute drive down there, so walking would likely be close to two hours, especially with the dog.

"Hanna, let's go."

Church reached his hand out for the boy to take, but he just snuggled with the puppy more and shook his head.

"This is stupid. Come on. We need to go."

"No!"

Church felt anger began to well up in his chest, stirring his demon to the surface.

Shit!

Reaching down, Church snagged the dog's scruff and yanked it out of Hanna's lap, then stalked towards the exit. He could hear them both following after him toward his car. It was unlocked by the time he got to it, so he just opened the trunk and threw the stupid thing inside, slamming it shut before Michael could get there to do anything about it.

"Church! You can't put it back there!"

Grabbing his collar, he yanked Michael right up to his face and hissed a very serious warning.

"Keep your damn holy mouth shut, priest. Or I will shut it for you."

He could feel his knuckles beginning to burn where the cloth he was holding pressed against the man's skin, but he kept him close for another second before letting go and stalking around to the driver's side. Michael was smart enough to do as he'd said and keep his trap shut while getting Hanna buckled into the car.

As soon as the back door was shut Church floored the car into traffic and headed towards home. It may have been a nice drive if there weren't constant howls and scratching sounds coming from the trunk. And to make it even better, Michael just had to yank down the middle seat and free the damned ball of fur and piss. He really wanted to tell him to just drop it on the corner at the next stop light, but he wouldn't. Sadly, he knew the stupid priest too well for him to do that.

The second he parked the car Church was out, grabbing Hanna and heading upstairs to his apartment. He could hear Michael's footsteps following him from a short distance behind and growled once they reached the door.

"That's not coming in."

"Church..."

"No!"

Church stomped inside but Michael put his foot out to keep the door from closing when he slammed it... and he probably just damaged his foot pretty good, too. That wasn't his problem though.

Turning on him, Church bared his teeth, but the man still had the gull to keep talking.

"Please Church. One night! It's too hot outside right now. I can take him down to the pet store tomorrow when they open. I'm absolutely sure they'll take him since he's purebred and fluffy! It's like free money to them."

Church's eyes narrowed and he knew that they were likely turning red as his anger simmered and his demon began taking over.

"B-Bathroom? Please? I'll sleep in there with him to make sure he doesn't do anything bad. And if he goes bathroom I can just wipe it off the tile."

He really wanted to say no again, but then he'd just come back with something else, and Hanna was watching. If he attacked Michael he'd be the one to suffer for it. So, giving an exhausted sigh, Church stepped away from the door and headed for the kitchen.

Footsteps hurried through the house right after he heard the front door shut and lock. Seconds later the bathroom door opened, then shut. His intentions were now to finally get some food made even though it was a little early for dinner, but his demon had other ideas. All of the anger he'd accumulated during the day had fed it and he barely managed to get his expensive suit off before it took over his body and shifted.

Hanna was used to it, thankfully, but the suddenness of the whole thing obviously had him a little surprised.

"Chesh?"

Looking down at Hanna, Church sat back on his haunches and nudged the boy's face with his snout. Hanna frowned and hugged his long muzzle.

"I sowwy, Chesh. Hanna bad."

Church gave a quiet grumble and nudged him closer with his left paw in a make-shift hug. After they separated he got back up and sauntered over to the bathroom door. There wasn't any sound behind it...

Perhaps the little creature has fallen asleep?

Giving a quiet growl, he tapped on the door with a paw and sat down to wait. A moment later Michael carefully opened it and peaked out.

"Eh? You changed?"

No shit.

He glanced behind himself, no doubt at the fuzzy little, dare he think it, demon, then back to him.

"Um, what did you need?"

Okay, now how do I tell him that he needs to make dinner tonight?

Looking around, Church got up and quickly ran into the kitchen, rustled through a lower cabinet, and came back with a pan between his teeth.

"Oh, dinner? Uh, I can cook it, but..."

He looked back at the puppy and Church sighed. The only place in his apartment that was carpeted was right by the coffee table since Hanna had a habit of falling over there. After a very aggravating mental talk with his demon, he nudged the door open and had to fight himself in order to keep still and not chase the little fuzzy puppy as it ran out of the bathroom between his legs.

Hanna squealed, of course, and immediately went to chase the creature.

"Uh... he just went in the bathroom and I scrubbed it up. So he shouldn't have another accident for awhile."

Church was pissed that the dumb thing had already gone bathroom again, but at least Michael had cleaned it up well. He hadn't even smelled it when he'd come to the door. Church's jaws tightened automatically when the pan between his teeth was yanked... but then he realized that Michael was just trying to take it to make dinner. Dropping that so he could use it, Church quickly went to find the two little pains in his butt while the bigger third one got busy cooking something for dinner.

As he stalked into the living room Hanna was over by the television with the rope toy in his hands and the little dog attached to the other end, both of them growling and unwilling to give up an inch on the game of tug-o-war.

Rolling his eyes, he walked up to the two and leaned down, grabbing the toy in the middle and lifting both the brats up off the floor. It was quite entertaining, because Hanna was now stretching on his tip-toes to keep hold of his end, while the puppy's butt was dangling in the air, yet it was still growling and yanking on the darn rope.

Church let the rope go after a moment, making Hanna stumble a little and the puppy bounce down onto its fluffy butt. Hanna let the rope slip at that second, and the puppy took advantage and bolted under the small dining room table. Hanna smiled wide and ran after the little thing, grabbing the rope and tugging the dog out from under the table.

Here we go again.

A deep chuckle had his eyes traveling towards the entrance to the kitchen where Michael was leaning against the door jamb with a spatula in one hand and arms folded over his chest.

"At least they'll wear each other out tonight."

That is the only benefit to having the stupid dog.

"Oh yeah."

Michael set the spatula down on the counter and ran into the bathroom, then came back with a washcloth.

"I used it to clean up after the pup since it would have taken a lot of toilet paper. We can just toss it once he's gone, I'll get you a pack of new ones."

Church wasn't really worried about the cloth, but when he grabbed some newspaper and set it down on the floor, then put the cloth overtop of it he gave a confused grumble.

"What? It's better that he has something that smells a little like what going bathroom does. I made sure to rinse it well so it shouldn't stink much to us, but hopefully it'll make him pee there if he has to go," Michael said as he washed his hands, then got back to cooking.

Church grunted and laid down, intent on relaxing for a little while and maybe nap before dinner... but a certain little boy and dog decided that he was now part of play time.

"Chesh!"

Hanna ran over, dragging the puppy by the rope toy. Church gave him a slight growl in response but he just giggled and offered him one end of the rope.

"Pway wif Mats? Gotsa poddy!"

Mats? What kind of name is that? Do you mean Max?

Church grabbed the end of the rope lazily and watched as Hanna ran off towards the bathroom, thankful that at least one of the little creatures he had taken in didn't pee on the floor.

Except for when he almost did in my office earlier.

Grunting out a sigh, he looked down his nose and the rope until his eyes met little excited brown ones. He was pulling on the rope like crazy, giving it all the effort he could and growling his tiny butt off, but Church wasn't budging. Well, except for when he abruptly released the rope, sending the walking cotton-ball tumbling backwards, head over tail.

Hanna was there right as the pup recovered and scooped it up before plopping down on the carpet for some snuggle time. Church wanted to tell him to be careful because dogs can bite, but it looked like this one was honestly just enjoying the attention. Even if it was a bit rough since Hanna wasn't the best at understanding you had to pet dogs nicely or they can get upset.

"Dinner's ready!"

That was pretty fast... but it does smell really good.

A plate was set down in front of him a minute later.

Steak with mushrooms and mashed potatoes.

It wasn't anything fancy, but it definitely had Church's belly grumbling hungrily. Right as he was about to dig in, he caught the puppy staring at him from the corner of his eye. It's little ears were flattened, eyes wide, nose sniffing.

Not a chance. This is mine.

He flopped down onto his belly and crawled forward a tiny bit, then whined. Church growled in response, but the pup just stayed where it was.

Tch.

Ignoring the little fuzzball, Church began digging into his large steak.

"Here ya go Hanna, sit down and eat with Church, okay?"

Normally, he didn't allow the boy to eat on the floor because he tended to be messy, but he soon learned that the little puppy was a master at cleaning up anything that got even close to dropping onto the floor. And yes, he caught Hanna slipping the thing pieces of his cut-up steak.

Brat. Don't feed it. Everything tries to come back when you feed it.

Everyone ate in silence around him. Michael even sat down against the wall to his right and nibbled at a small piece of steak and some mashed potatoes. He'd obviously given him the much bigger piece or... no. He'd cut his own in half and then cut it up a lot for Hanna.

Church's body slowly changed back after dinner. He collected the dirty plates and set them in the sink before tugging on a pair of boxers, then scooping up Hanna and taking him to the bathroom.

"Bath time, you."

"Awwwww!"

He set him in the tub and gave him the don't make this more of a struggle than it has to be, look. The boy pouted but quickly tugged his shirt off, then fiddled with the button on his shorts until he finally managed to get it undone, then dropped them along with his underwear.

"Good boy."

Reaching down, Church grabbed the clothing and tossed them behind him, then got the water running. Hanna sat on the edge until it warmed enough for him to slip in. Church quickly got busy scrubbing him from head to toe because he was seriously tired, but when he leaned down to get some extra soap in his palm, he heard a quiet splash and looked up to see a soggy cotton ball licking at the water as it sat in the tub.

"Really dog? Now you're going to stink if I don't scrub you, too."

Shaking his head, Church got busy washing both of his dogs until they were squeaky clean. Thankfully the puppy was perfectly well behaved and let him wash him right alongside Hanna. They played a little, but the romp earlier definitely had taken its toll on their energy reserves. When he finally pulled Hanna out of the tub and dried him off, then grabbed the puppy to do the same after pulling the drain plug, Church could tell both were just about to pass out.

Amen.

Once Hanna was completely dry and heading for his room he picked up the dozing puppy and took it into the kitchen, setting it down on the newspaper and washcloth.

"Bathroom."

It looked up at him and yawned, then glanced down at the cloth and sniffed. He didn't think that it would work, but then the dog peed a little.

"Uh... good dog?"

He yipped quietly and pawed at Church's leg.

Oh no. I know that gesture all too well with Hanna.

"You have four paws, you can walk yourself."

The pup tried pouting and blinking his big brown eyes, but Church quickly turned and headed towards Hanna's room. The kid was already asleep, his bare butt visible with the blanket only partially tugged over his upper half.

Church shook his head and tucked him in correctly, then turned to head back out. It wasn't until he was back in his room in bed that he realized two things. One, Michael had passed out on the sofa and he hadn't noticed until just now. And two, the puppy was sitting right next to his bed, paws up on the edge so that he could just barely look at him in the darkness with those big brown eyes.

"No."

"....wuff."

"No."

"......wuff."

Church rolled over, giving the annoying thing his back with the hopes that it'll just curl up on the floor and pass out. Unfortunately, things just never worked the way he freaking wanted them to, because after only a minute of quiet he heard the scrambling of stubby legs as they managed to get their owner up onto his bed.

Rolling back over, he prepared to scare the damn thing out of his room when it suddenly reached over and bopped his nose with one small paw before stretching out against his chest with a huge yawn.

"You aren't allowed to sleep there."

Church glared at it for a long moment, only to eventually sigh and drop his head back down to the pillow.

Damn it all. It's already snoring.