Chapter 38

I blink a few times. “Would it matter if I did?”

“Maybe.”

“Why? It’s not like you’d do anything about it.”

The imaginary crowd in my head goes wild.

Rafael’s fingers flex before forming a fist, and I, the hopeful-slash-hopeless romantic, believe it’s because of me.

“We shouldn’t,” he states carefully.

I nod. “Nope.”

His eyes drop to my mouth. “It’s a bad idea.”

“I agree. A terrible idea that could have serious repercussions for both of us.”

His thigh brushes against mine as he sits up. “Plus, it could be the worst kiss I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah, you’re right. You look like the type who uses way too much tongue anyway.”

He half scoffs, half laughs. “If you find me using too much tongue, it better be while my head is between your legs.”

My soul leaves my body.

He twists so we’re fully facing each other. “No comeback for that one?”

“Give me a minute. I’m sure one will come.”

“No pun intended?” He cups my flaming cheek.

“What are you doing?” I pull back, but his other hand snakes around my back and secures me in place.

“I have a reputation to uphold.”

“A reputation to uphold?” I gawk. “What in the Jane Austen hell is that kind of statement?”

His lips quirk. “You’re the one who accused me of using too much tongue.”

“Fine. I take it back.”

His thumb delicately brushes over my cheekbone. “Too late.” His hand moves to the back of my neck and presses until our mouths are hovering a few centimeters apart. “My honor is at stake.”

“Are you talking like a character from a regency novel on purpose or…”

“Elle.”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and kiss me already.”

Him giving me the power to decide if I want to kiss him means more to me than he will ever know.

I nearly give in, but then I remember why I should be saying no in the first place. After today’s spout of jealousy on the boat, I learned my lesson, and it’s time I redraw the professional line in the metaphorical sand.

With a deep sigh, I say, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

The girl who had a crush on him seems to disagree.

What’s the harm in a single kiss? I’ve kissed plenty of guys before, and some of them I had hardly known at the time, so it doesn’t have to be a big deal until I make it one.

Right?

His hand around my neck tightens, sending a zing of pleasure down my spine before he releases me and starts to pull away.

Shit.

No.

My heart sinks faster than a stone in the ocean, forcing me to act now, face the consequences later.

I hold up my index finger. “Fine. One kiss. For research purposes.”

His palm slides up my spine, making me suck in a breath before it returns to the spot he favors at the base of my neck. “You’re something else.”

“You can call me crazy. It’s okay.”

“You’re more than that.” He kisses the corner of my mouth, making my heart jolt like I just took some electric paddles to the chest.

I don’t get to ask him to elaborate because my mind goes completely blank once his lips press against mine.

My thoughts quiet and my body turns numb as the whole world ceases to exist before it comes roaring back to life.

My toes curl. My spine tingles. And my heart could simply burst as Rafael Lopez kisses me like he was born to. Like his lips were created to perfectly match the shape of mine.

He is slow at first, and I follow his pace. It is torture of the best kind, especially when he groans against my lips and sinks his fingers deeper into my hair.

When he doesn’t show an initiative to explore more, I’m the one who teases him. First, with my hands running over his chest and arms, and then with the flick of my tongue across the seam of his mouth.

His soft groan, barely audible over the sound of our breathing, spurs me on. With a scrape of my teeth against his bottom lip, he opens, and things shift.

One moment, we are sitting face-to-face. The next, I’m underneath him with my back pressed against the couch cushions and his mouth devouring mine. It isn’t a soft claiming but rather a full-blown takeover of my mind and body.

I absolutely love every single second of it, and the thought of it only happening once makes my heart heavy.

I’m not sure how long we kiss, but a knot forms in my throat as I feel Rafael slowing down. I cling to him without meaning to, and he rewards my burst of need with another deep, toe-curling kiss that leaves me breathless and aching for more.

Kissing him feels so damn right that I fear everyone else will always feel wrong.

It hits me then that our deal was a stupid one from the moment we made it. A thousand kisses wouldn’t be enough, let alone one.

I can’t find it in me to regret it, though. I refuse to because I’d rather know what it feels like to kiss Rafael once than to never have experienced it at all.

He pulls back to look me in the eyes.

“Did I disprove your hypothesis?” he asks with that sexy smirk of his.

“I’m afraid not,” I lie.

His eyes narrow jokingly. “You liar.”

“There, there. Not everyone can be good at everything.” I pat his chest, noting how fast his heart is beating. It fills me with satisfaction to know I’m not the only one affected by a single kiss.

“I’m not everyone.”

“Nope, you’re just the someone who uses too much tongue.”

He leans in, and I sharply inhale as his lips nearly touch mine. “Let’s try again.”

“We agreed to only one,” I say, a little too breathless.

His burning gaze meets mine. “I’m open to renegotiation.”

“No.” Especially not after he made me feel like that with a single kiss. My head is still spinning, and it doesn’t look like it’ll be stopping anytime soon.

“If that’s what you want…” He rotates his hips, and I suck in a breath as his hard length presses into me.

Stopping him from doing more isn’t what I want, but it’s what we need. That and some new boundaries because this man has been tearing them down left and right.

We don’t have a future, or at least not one that includes kisses like that. It becomes painfully clear that Rafael can be my friend but nothing more, for not only my sake but for his son, who needs me.

With a reluctant sigh, Rafael rolls off me and stands before offering me his hand to help me sit up. He doesn’t let go even after I’m upright, so I’m the one who has to pull away this time.

“Where do we go from here?” He tucks his hands behind his back.

“Perhaps we could be friends.” I hate the idea as soon as it leaves my mouth, but it’s too late.

“Friends?” He sounds as surprised as he looks.

“You do remember what it’s like to have one that isn’t related to you, right?”

His gaze sharpens. “Do you kiss all your friends like that, or am I an exception to the rule?”

My whole face becomes engulfed in invisible flames.

“Just teasing you, Elle.” He pauses to think. “If you want to be friends, then I can do that.” He smiles, and my heart rate climbs until I can feel my pulse racing in my neck.

I’ve made a huge mistake tonight. Well, two mistakes, to be exact. The first was thinking I could kiss Rafael once and end it at that, while the second was even worse.

We could be friends.

I want to smack my head and mouth at the same time for suggesting such a thing. Men like Rafael aren’t the type you befriend. They’re the kind you could fall in love with, whether you want to or not, because they have this magnetism that draws you into their orbit.

I fell into this black hole in high school when I first developed a crush on him, and I’m falling into a similar pattern, although this time, I’m not crushing on a person who never truly existed.

I’m developing feelings for the real Rafael, and it absolutely terrifies me.