Chapter 50

Morning comes all too soon, although I stayed up for as long as I could before I took Ellie back to her room and tucked her into bed.

I linger nearby, watching over her and sulking about how, come later today, she will be officially moving out. Last night, I tried to shut her idea down, but once she explained her reasoning, I reluctantly agreed.

She wants to take things slow and give us space to figure this out without getting Nico’s hopes up, and deep down, I know she is right.

Over the next two weeks, Ellie will still come over to help Nico so he can slowly adjust to life without her, but she will no longer be spending her nights here. She claims it would be too tempting to stay here forever, and I’ve yet to see the issue with that.

While I don’t want her to move back into her parents’ house, I understand that to move forward, we can’t keep clinging to the way things used to be.

For Ellie’s sake, I hope Nico takes the news about her job well, but I genuinely have no idea how he will react. Last night, Ellie and I agreed that she would lead the conversation about her new job, so even if I want to interfere, I told her I wouldn’t.

When the temptation to wake Ellie up becomes too great to ignore, I exit her room and head toward the kitchen to make breakfast for the three of us.

An hour later, Nico enters with a yawn. Ellie follows behind him, dressed in another pair of shorts that throws me back to last night, when her legs were—

“Buenos dias, Papi.” Nico comes over to give me a hug.

“I made breakfast.” I motion to the round table underneath a window that faces the backyard deck and the small pond in the distance.

My son sits at the nook and grins like the pancakes with a smile made of fruit. Ellie and I take seats beside each other, and the three of us enjoy each other’s company.

We swap stories and laughs throughout the meal, and it is somehow ten times better than Hawaii, slightly due to being in the comfort of my own home but mostly because of everything that happened with Ellie last night.

She was…everything.

A pressure in my chest builds at the idea of no longer waking up to this, but I promise myself that it won’t be for long.

Buenos dias, Papi: Good morning, Dad.

I won’t allow it to be.

Once we all clear our plates, Ellie looks over at me and nods. I reach for her hand underneath the table and interlace our fingers without Nico noticing.

As much as I want to hold her hand out in the open, I’m not ready for that step with Nico, and neither is she.

Let’s take it all one day at a time, she said last night while I held her in my arms.

How am I supposed to take you on dates if you’re spending five weeks in Europe? I asked.

We’ll just have to get creative. She grinned up at me, and that was that.

Ellie takes a shallow breath. “Nico, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Nico puts his glass of orange juice down. “What?”

“Remember how I was writing a song for Cole Griffin?”

“Yeah?” His furrowed brow reminds me so much of my own.

“Well, he loved it.”

Nico holds his hand up for Ellie to smack. “Duh! You’re awesome.”

Her cheeks flush as she high-fives him. “Thank you.”

“So is he going to keep it?”

“Yeah.”

“And what about the song I helped you with?”

Ellie smiles. “I’m glad you asked because it turns out Cole wants me to help him with a bunch of songs.”

Nico’s eyes go big. “Really?”

“Yup. And he told me you could be listed on the credits.”

“No way!”

“Congratulations. You may be the youngest songwriter in history.”

Nico grins. “If you need more help, I’ll only charge you a gazillion dollars.”

Ellie and I both laugh at that.

“Well, I don’t know if I could afford you, but if you want to help me, you can.”

“Wow.”

“Pretty awesome, right?”

“Obviously! Congrats!” He holds out his fist this time, and Ellie bumps hers against it.

“Thanks.” She glances over at me, and I nod.

Might as well get it over with.

“So, if I want to work with Cole, I have to go with him to Europe.”

My son smiles. “That’s so cool! You’ve gotta go.”

How can Ellie look so happy yet so sad at the same time? I wish I could erase the expression on her face, but there is nothing either of us can do.

Her hand tightens around mine. “If I work for Cole, I can’t be your nanny anymore.”

“But can’t you come back when you’re done?”

“I don’t think so…” She bites down on her lip until it turns red.

“How long will you be gone?” Nico asks.

“Five weeks.”

“That’s not too long. Right, Papi? Ellie can come back here after!” His smile dies when he looks over at me.

“No, mijo. She can’t work for me anymore.”

“But why?” His voice cracks.

“Ellie should keep writing music for other people because she’s really good at it.”

“But—” Nico’s shoulders slump with defeat.

Ellie drops my hand so she can kneel beside his chair. “I’m not leaving you, though.”

“Yes, you are.” A few tears fall onto his lap.

“No. I will always be a part of your life.”

“But you’re leaving.” Before I have a chance to reassure him, Nico leaves the kitchen in a rush.

Ellie turns to me with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can.”

A sob in the distance, followed by a door slamming, shatters whatever control Ellie had over her tears, and one slips down her face.

My own heart feels split in two as Nico and Ellie pull it in opposite directions. While I wish she could stay with us forever—both because Nico loves her and I…need her—she deserves to choose herself and her future. We will always be here, but an opportunity like Cole’s won’t last forever, and that is what I tell myself as I rise to my feet and hold my hand out for Ellie to grab.

“He will understand.”

She shakes her head. “No, he won’t.”

“He will once he figures out that I won’t make the same mistake as last time when I fired you.” I played a part in Nico’s mistrust when I fired Ellie after his accident, and it is up to me to rectify it.

Tears spill down Ellie’s cheeks as we follow the sound of Nico’s cries toward the source.

I knock against the guest bathroom door located near the elevators. “Nicolas?”

His cries pause as he blows his nose. “What?”

“Can we talk to you? Please?”

“I don’t want to.”

Ellie bristles beside me.

“I know you’re upset right now, but Ellie isn’t leaving—”

“Yes, she is!”

“Nico.” Ellie tests the doorknob and opens the door a crack. “Can I please come in?”

“Why? You’re just going to lie like Mommy!”

While his words feel like a shotgun shell to the chest, I can’t imagine how Ellie must feel hearing Nico compare her to Hillary.

She gives my hand a squeeze, and I return the gesture with one of my own, as if to say we can handle this. Together.

“I’ve never lied to you, and I never will.” Ellie steels her spine and opens the door.

My son sits on the tiled floor with his legs tucked against his chest and his forehead pressed into his knees.

Ellie kneels beside him while I stand in the doorway, frozen in place, while she circles her arms around Nico and crushes him against her chest. “I’m sorry your mom has made promises she couldn’t keep”—an issue I plan on correcting as soon as possible—“but I’m not her. I’ve never broken one since I started working for your dad, even when it meant losing my job because of the secret I kept, and I don’t plan on breaking any to come because your trust is important to me.”

His forehead brushes against his knees when he shakes his head. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

“I’m not. I may be going to work for someone else, but I will always be a part of your life, whether I’m your nanny or not.”

Nico looks up with red, tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. “You will?”

“Yes. You’re stuck with me forever.”

His bottom lip wobbles as his gaze swings from me to Ellie. “You promise?”

“On my life. Nothing could keep me away from you.”

“I don’t want you to go.” Nico hides his face behind his hands and sobs.

Ellie looks over at me in a panic, so I kneel beside her.

“Hey.”

Nico’s shoulders shake from his ragged breathing.

I lift his chin. “It’s okay to be sad.”

“It hurts.” He taps at the spot over his heart.

Ellie dabs at the corners of her eyes.

Something cracks inside me. “I know you’re scared Ellie won’t come back, but she will.”

“But she won’t have a reason to anymore.”

“I’ll make sure she always has a reason to come back,” I say with an even voice.

“I’m looking at my biggest reasons right now.” She gives both our hands a squeeze, and it eases some of the heavy weight pressing against my temples, shoulders, and chest.

I wrap my arms around the two of them and drag us into a group hug. “This isn’t us saying goodbye.”

She nods against one of my shoulders with a sniffle. “It’s not.”

Nico hides his face against the other. “I’m happy for you, Ellie, but I’m also sad for me.”

“Me too,” I say earnestly.

Ellie pokes her head out of the crook of my neck. “Me three.”

Nico wraps his arms around our necks. “I don’t want another nanny.”

“Then we won’t get one.” My original reason for having one doesn’t matter anymore because Ellie is plenty for Nico, whether she is in his life as a friend or more.

“Can Ellie visit every day? When she’s not in Europe?” he asks between sniffles.

She laughs. “You’re going to get sick of me.”

“Impossible.” I offer her a smile.

“Yeah. What he said.” Nico nods.

“You can visit as often as you want. Multiple times a day if you’d like.” I wink.

“I mean, it would be a good idea for me to check on the animals. They’re practically my children.”

“Absolutely. Plus, I’m getting some new additions next week that need names.”

“God forbid you name them pigs one, two, and three.”

“What about chickens?” Nico asks with an excited smile.

I shoot him a look. “Not yet.”

“Aw, man.”

Ellie fixes his glasses on his nose. “Chickens do sound fun.”

I scratch my chin. “On second thought…”

Nico and Ellie laugh, thinking I’m joking.

While I can easily tell Nico no, Ellie is a different case altogether, and it’s only a matter of time before she realizes it.

Julian pulls me into a bone-crushing hug. “I’ve missed you, man.”

My chest tightens as I return his embrace before letting him into the house. “Same.”

“Where’s Ellie?” He looks around.

“She went back to her mom’s house.”

“To visit? It’s not even Saturday.”

I shake my head. “She moved out earlier today.”

Nico followed her around all morning while she fed the animals, mucked out their stalls, caught up on all our laundry, and made lunch for the three of us. It was a bittersweet meal, but Ellie already promised to be back tomorrow, so Nico seems in slightly better spirits about her leaving.

Despite my plans to take Ellie out later for our first date, I already miss her too. I’m not sure how I’ll survive five weeks of her being gone, but I will make the most of the next two weeks before she leaves.

He stops dead in his tracks. “Did you fire her?”

“Technically, yes.”

“You’re an idiot.”

I shoot daggers at him. “She was going to quit anyway, so I figured I’d get her severance pay.”

He blinks twice. “That’s…”

“Nice?”

“Interesting.” His gaze lingers on me for a moment before Nico comes running down the hall.

“¡Tío!” He jumps into Julian’s waiting arms.

“Did you grow a whole foot while you were gone?”

Nico laughs. “No!”

My cousin stands. “Hm. You look taller.”

“Really?” Nico puffs his chest out.

I laugh.

By now, Nico is used to the sound, but Julian’s head swivels in my direction.

“What?” I say.

“It’s really great to hear your laugh.”

“You’re going to make me blush.”

His smile grows wider. “You’re joking too? Damn. What was in those Hawaiian Suns?”

“High-fructose corn syrup.”

Julian pulls me into a side hug and rubs the top of my head like he used to when we were younger. “Happiness looks good on you.”

I shove him off. “Falling in love with Dahlia really has changed you.”

“Just wait until it happens to you.”

I have a feeling it may happen sooner than I thought.