Chapter 63

Cole’s grip on the microphone tightens. “I’d like to play a new song for you.”

The first row of people standing by the stage go wild, along with my heart. After spending the last month on the road with him, I should be used to watching him enchant a crowd, but here I am, acting starstruck again from my hidden corner backstage.

He continues, “See, I made a new friend this summer.”

A few girls shout that they love him, which earns them a deep, raspy chuckle.

“And she and I have been working on an amazing album together.”

Traveling around Europe while writing music has been one of the best things that’s happened to me. Although I haven’t been able to go sightseeing as much as I thought I would, I’ve been enjoying myself with Cole and his team. They’re professional, creative, and push me to step out of my musical comfort zone and test new kinds of sounds. I’ve even been learning how to play the banjo and mandolin, much to Nico’s excitement and Burt’s surprise.

If it weren’t for Nico, I’m not sure I would be in this position to begin with. Becoming his nanny and music teacher not only gave me a renewed purpose but also the courage to chase after my dreams once more.

Together, Nico and I fell in love with music again and formed an everlasting bond in the process, and not a day goes by when I don’t miss him. He video calls me daily to catch up on what he calls my European adventure. I make sure to prioritize at least a few minutes each day for him, whether I’m out and about trying to get inspired or holed up in my hotel room, feeling heartsick over how much I miss him and his dad. Rafael and I talk every day too, which makes me happy and incredibly homesick.

If Rafael hadn’t surprised me two weeks ago, I might not have made it through the full five weeks without running home, although he assures me that I would have.

“Is she your girlfriend?” a random person in the second row shouts.

“Oh, no. Definitely not.” Cole points at something. “She is happily in a relationship with a decent guy who wouldn’t hesitate to kick my ass.”

I cover my mouth to stifle my laugh. Rafael has slightly warmed up to Cole, solely because he sees how much this whole tour has meant to me, but that doesn’t mean they will ever be friendly.

“I’d love for you to let me know what you think of the song when I’m done. Perhaps we can even convince the songwriter to come out here and introduce herself.” He glances over at my concealed spot in the wings, and I take a step back as if the spotlight can find me if he stares long enough.

Yesterday, Cole asked me if he could play one of the new songs we wrote together because he wanted to see how people would react. I was surprised, especially since he hasn’t even recorded it in a studio yet, but he told me to trust him.

So here I am, about to listen to a crowd react to my song live.

Cole readjusts his fingers on the guitar chords. “This song is called ‘Shades of Blue,’ written by yours truly and the wonderful Ellie Sinclair.”

The volume of the crowd goes up by about twenty decibels.

I suck in a breath. “Oh my God. He said my name. Out loud.”

A crew member chuckles behind me before saying, “Better get used to it because, come tomorrow, everyone will know it.”

I didn’t think it was possible for the crowd to get louder, but somehow it does.

Cole begins playing the first few chords of a song I wrote to a crowd made up of thousands of people. I knew it would make me emotional, but I didn’t expect to get teary-eyed within the first ten seconds.

Picturing a future without you

was like looking through a lens tinted blue.

Shades of navy bled to black

until I could no longer remember

what my life was like before you came back and threw it off-center.

I saw Ava’s live concert videos. Listened to her play my song after she won the Album of the Year award that I should have also been there to accept. I watched from the sidelines as all my accomplishments were stolen by someone else—as my dreams of ever writing songs again were crushed into a thousand pieces, only to be rebuilt into something far better.

I swipe at my cheeks. Cole’s assistant passes me a tissue at one point, which only makes me cry harder.

He gives me a one-armed hug above the waist that makes me wish Rafael were here to share this moment with me. To see me shine from my little backstage corner while the world hears my song.

I push the thought aside and enjoy the moment.

The song goes by too fast, and it makes me wish we’d added another verse solely so I could bask in the glow for a little longer. I’m so caught up in the buzz that I don’t notice the silence of the crowd until Cole turns to face the wings of the stage with a smile. “Hey, Ellie. I think they love your song.”

My chest clenches as the stadium agrees.

“Do you want to come out here and let them tell you themselves?”

Cole sure has the ability to rile up a crowd. Laughing. Screaming. Crying. The man is a true star, and it’s obvious why his shows sell out.

The roar of the people attending tonight’s show hits me like a shot of adrenaline, and before the voice in the back of my head speaks out, I step onto the stage and wave.

Cole beckons me forward before holding out the mic for me. “Say hi.”

“Hi,” I croak.

People break out in laughter in the first row, and my cheeks warm, both from the bright lights and my slight embarrassment.

Cole turns to the crowd. “So what do we all think of Ellie’s song?”

It’s electric, the way the crowd gets louder as Cole points the mic and spins it in a circle, and I find myself breaking out into a smile as I finally let go of the hurt I held on to for over a year because of Ava and Darius.

What they did doesn’t matter anymore because I’m choosing to move forward and pave my own way. Song by song and day by day, I will build a name for myself.

And all that starts today.

“I know you were most likely hoping for a better alternative…” My lawyer lets her sentence hang.

With all the packing I need to do before heading back to Lake Wisteria, the last thing I need is to spend time on a video call with my lawyer and Rafael, but Ms. Copper said it was urgent.

According to her team, Ava’s legal counsel is looking to settle before the end of the week, so I’m faced with an impossible choice: either accept Ava’s settlement money and sign a non-disclosure agreement or have my case heard in court and risk walking away with nothing.

“So no one would know what really happened?”

Ms. Copper shakes her head. “No.”

“But Ellie would receive full credit?” Rafael asks.

I look at his spot on the video call while simultaneously wishing he were here, holding my hand while Ms. Copper delivered the news.

Ms. Copper’s legal aid reviews something on their tablet. “Ms. Sinclair will be listed in the credits of each song she helped write.”

“But Ava will remain in the public’s good graces.” Rafael frowns.

“There is another alternative.” Ms. Copper clears her throat. “We could go to trial and present our case to a judge.”

“They may believe her.”

“But they could also believe you,” Rafael challenges with an arched brow.

I scoff. “Right.”

“I don’t expect you to make a decision about the settlement today.” That’s a relief. “Although Ava’s lawyers did set a hard deadline for the end of the week.”

“Why?” Rafael asks when I remain quiet.

“They most likely want to clear this up before Ava’s next album drops.”

“God forbid America’s sweetheart gets any bad press,” I mutter under my breath, earning a deep scowl from Rafael.

Ms. Copper’s lips thin. “As it is, her PR team is working overtime after everything that happened with Darius.”

Rafael looks rather smug at that bit of news.

“Do you recommend I take the money?” I ask. If I did, I’d be set for life without ever needing to step in front of a judge, and my name would be listed in the song credits, but no one would ever know what really happened between Ava and me. What will stop her from doing this again to someone else one day?

Ms. Copper looks directly into her camera, her piercing stare pinning me in place. “I don’t like making recommendations.”

“Okay. Fine. But if you were in my position—”

Her lips twitch. “Good try.”

I sigh.

“I can tell you that I didn’t choose this line of work to hide behind settlement paperwork and NDAs.”

When I started this legal process, the idea of silently settling with Ava sounded appealing, especially if it avoided any kind of confrontation, but now that I’m presented with the opportunity to do just that, it feels…

Cowardly.

A judge could rule in her favor, and I could never see a dime for my work, but at least I stand a chance of people hearing my side of the story, even if it solidifies my place as the villain in Ava’s.

“You can give me an answer by five p.m. this Friday.”

I shake my head. “No.”

“Are you sure?” Rafael asks with raised brows.

“I don’t want to wait until then.”

Ms. Copper leans forward on her elbows, making her designer tweed jacket shift with the movement. “Would you like to settle, then?”

“Actually, no. I want to go to court.”

All hell breaks loose less than twenty-four hours after my lawyer files my case with the California courts. National news outlets won’t stop talking about Ava and me, and while their facts are limited, it doesn’t stop people from speculating all about our case. The internet sleuths are actively picking apart my life, and I had to set all my social media accounts to private to stop random people from learning more about me.

If it weren’t for Rafael and Willow, I would have given up on the idea of taking Ava to court. My best friend spends hours handling my PR, reaching out to journalists to give them my side of the story, while Rafael does everything in his power to keep me calm, including limiting my internet and phone access.

His attempts at distracting me range from mind-numbing sex to watching him care for all the animals in the barn, including braiding Penelope’s hair.

Seeing him not only check on the cats but also all his other animals fills me with so much warmth. Willow accused me of having a caretaker kink, and it’s all his fault.

“What are you looking at?” He tugs at the bow he just finished tying around Penelope’s hair and restarts.

“You’d be a great girl dad.”

He smiles to himself. “You think so?”

“I know so.” I check out his handiwork. For someone with hair too short to braid, he sure knows what he is doing. “Where did you learn to braid hair like that?”

“Dahlia and Lily made us play with their dolls growing up.”

“They did?”

His cheeks flush. “Yup.”

“Well, it worked. You’re better than I am at that.”

He fidgets with the bow. “I doubt that.”

“I’m being serious. Good thing you had a boy, or else you’d be braiding your daughter’s hair every single day.”

He clears his throat. “Would you want one?”

“What?”

“A daughter.”

His question completely catches me off guard. “Um…”

My anxiety grows as I consider telling the truth.

Of course I would want one, but I also understand Rafael may never come around to having kids, so—

“Having a girl may kill me in the process, but I’d want one…in the future.”

My heart jolts. “You do?”

“Yup. And I’d be the best girl dad in the world, just so no one else would ever compare.”

I laugh before pulling him into a kiss. “Does that mean you’re coming around to the idea of adopting?”

“One day, yes. But for now, I just want to keep you all to myself.”

Likewise.