Madness: Part 2 – Chapter 74

She cries herself to sleep in my arms. The clock is ticking, and the hourglass is running out of sand. Closing in on the time I have left with my wife. I wish I could rewind our past. I’d change so many things about our relationship…or lack thereof. But isn’t that what life is all about? You live and learn.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to love someone no matter how little time you get with them.

I kiss her forehead, my lips lingering for a few seconds, feeling how warm she is. She’ll start to feel better by morning. That will give me one more day with her, and then she’ll live a full life without me. But at least she’ll be alive and well taken care of.

Closing my eyes, I try to dream of the future we could have had if we were born into a different life—where our kids play in the backyard with their puppy while my wife sits on my lap on the back porch with my arms wrapped around her and a smile on her face. I’ve never been one to dream, but she makes me believe it’s possible. Some dreams feel real but so do nightmares. What you see in the dark will come to light. So instead of opening my eyes, I choose to keep them closed and fall into a depth that not even the devil could pull me out of.

My eyes spring open, and I sit up when I see I’m alone in her bed. “Charlotte?” I shout, my heart instantly racing. “Charlotte?”

“What?”

I look over to see her standing in the doorway of her bathroom, her hair wet and a smile on her face.

“Fuck, doll face.” I let out a long breath. “Give me a heart attack.” I drop back down on the mattress.

She walks over to the bed and jumps onto it, straddling my hips. She’s got a naughty smile on her face and a towel tucked underneath her arms.

I reach up and yank it free, tossing it away. Throwing her head back, she laughs. “I didn’t want to wake you.” Her face goes serious for a second, and she whispers, “You look so peaceful when you’re asleep.”

“How do you feel?” I ignore what she just said.

“Much better.” She drops her eyes to my bare chest as her fingers lightly trace the Lords crest and then the 666 brand we got during training. Then they move to my bullet wound. Her eyes meet mine, and I see the apprehension in them. She has something on her mind, and she’s going to tell me. “Let’s run away together.”

There it is, and it makes me smile. “We can’t.” I refuse to give her a life like Adam has. Once you start running, you can never stop.

Rolling her eyes, she sighs heavily. “You said that it was up to me how long I’m with you. That I got to choose.”

“I did,” I agree, remembering that time in her kitchen. It feels like years ago that I decided she’d be mine.

She holds up her left hand, showing me her sapphire wedding ring. Then I meet her stare as she speaks. “I choose to be with you forever.”

I want to remind her that she didn’t choose me, but instead, I sit up, cupping her face, and speak. “To some, forever is only a matter of seconds.” Then I press my lips to hers, ending the conversation. My mind is made up. I’ve failed at protecting everyone who had ever meant anything to me. I won’t make the same mistake with Charlotte. My wife deserves better. The love of my life deserves the world, even if that means I’m no longer part of hers.

She opens her mouth and wraps her arms around my neck. I slide my hands into her hair, tightening my fingers into the silky strands. She moans into my mouth.

My time with her is limited, but I consider myself lucky. Not everyone knows when they’ll leave this world. I do, and I’m going to spend every second buried inside her. Savoring her scent, the feel of her soft touch, the sound of her voice. So when I’m locked in a cage surrounded by nothing but darkness and silence, I’ll have her on my mind. I’ll have memories to remind me that I was once a man who loved a woman who deserved better. They won’t be able to take that away from me, and that’s what I call a win.

CHARLOTTE

He’s pulling away from me. I can’t pinpoint what’s going on, but I can feel it. A woman’s intuition is the only thing that never fails her. When I woke up in his arms, I had this sickening feeling in my stomach. I got out of bed and made it to the bathroom just in time to vomit. I tried to tell myself that it was just the past twenty-four hours that finally caught up with me, but that was a lie.

I brushed my teeth and took a shower, trying to wash away everything and start fresh. I had just got out when I heard him calling my name. It just solidified that something is coming. If he’s worried, then I need to be terrified.

I dig my fingers into his hair, and he moans into my mouth. Fuck, I’m desperate for him. My hips start to rock in his lap, and he pulls my lips from his with his hands in my hair. His lips trail along my jawline and to my neck. He sinks his teeth into my sensitive skin, and I shiver, my pussy clenching as I rock my hips. “Please?” I beg shamelessly.

“Use your words, doll face,” he orders. His hand drops to my ass, and he gives it a hard smack.

I groan, needing more. “Please fuck me.” My voice is as needy as my body. “I’m your whore, Haidyn. Use me however you want.”

“Fuck,” he growls. His free hand drops to my neck, and I look up at the ceiling, giving him full access. He can choke me out or bite me. I’ve become a woman who will accept whatever he decides to do to me.

A Lady gives her Lord whatever he wants. “I’m yours,” I say breathlessly, hoping he understands I mean more than just sex.

“Yes, you fucking are, doll face.” His lips trail along my jaw, and I roll my head to capture them. Needing to feel them on mine and he takes my breath away.

I finish using the restroom and enter the adjoining primary suite to see he’s gone. “Haidyn?” I call out. He doesn’t answer, so I grab his T-shirt from my floor and pull it on.

Exiting my room, I enter the living room to find him standing with his back to me staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows showcasing my backyard. My view isn’t nearly as gorgeous as the one he has at his place, but it’s still pretty. I frown, seeing he’s put his jeans on.

Walking past my coffee table, I notice that my cell phone is on it, and I make a mental note to plug it in. I’m sure it’s dead. “What are you doing?” I come up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist, pressing the side of my head into his bare back, inhaling his scent. I try to tell myself that I’m just overreacting, but I know something is coming, and I can’t stop it.

He turns around in my arms, and I look up as he gently brushes his knuckles along my cheek, pushing my hair from my face. I smile up at him, but he doesn’t return it. Mine falls, and a sickening feeling returns to my stomach.

Reaching down, he picks up my left hand and runs his thumb over my wedding ring. That feeling intensifies, making me swallow nervously. “Do you regret it?” I whisper.

His silence makes my stomach drop. He steps into me, cupping my face with both of his warm hands and forces me to look up at him through my watery eyes. “I don’t regret marrying you, Charlotte. What I regret is why you married me.”

I sniff. I’ve fallen in love with this man, and the thought of him deciding he no longer wants me makes it hard to breathe. “What do you mean?”

“You only married me because you felt you had no choice.” He sighs.

I place my hands on his muscular chest and feel his steady heartbeat. “You didn’t marry me because you loved me.” I give a soft laugh to try to lighten the mood.

He doesn’t say anything about that. Instead, his eyes search mine, and I grab his hand and begin to pull him to the bedroom. “Come on.” I try to change the subject. “Lets go to bed. I’m tired.”