Madness: Part 2 – Chapter 77

It’s been a week since Haidyn told me he loved me and left me tied to my bed. A week of absolute torture.

Life has a way of laughing at you. My first thought when he appeared in my kitchen that night was that he was going to drag me to Carnage, place me in a cell, and leave me to die. It’s happened, just not in that way. I’m trapped here at Carnage while he’s somewhere else.

I lay here in his bed, just staring up at the dark ceiling trying to remember his touch, his body holding mine, the way he fucked me.

I’ve never been more dependent on another person in my life like I am Haidyn. He inserted his life into mine in every way. Then he just leaves, and he expects me to go on with mine. How?

I love you, Charlotte.

Adam took my cell phone from me. He got tired of me watching the video that Haidyn left me over and over. He blamed it on the battery and said he’d plug it in for me. It was just another lie.

The door opens, and I remain staring up at the ceiling. I’ve gone numb. They don’t have any clues as to where he is. At first, I would listen to them argue back and forth. I even felt bad for Ashtyn when she would cry and beg Saint to find him. Now, I tune them all out. I know it’s selfish, but no one in this hell loves him like I do. At least that’s how I feel. If so, they wouldn’t have abandoned him. Given a choice, I know I’d never leave him. I’d never pick another soul on this planet over Haidyn. At some point, all of them have. And Adam was right; my husband gave himself up one time for every single one of us.

“Anything?” Saint asks.

He’s speaking to Adam. After he arrived, Adam called another Lord and had them go get Muffin and grab a few things of his and mine from Haidyn’s house. I’ve been in Haidyn’s room with the two of them ever since. Adam hasn’t left my side. I think he believes I’m suicidal. Honestly, it’d be better than this. Or it could be because Saint and Kashton still haven’t warmed up to me. Pretty sure they want to kill me, and I wouldn’t fight them. I deserve that.

I fell in love with the man who killed my father. Am I a horrible person because it doesn’t change the way I feel about him? Most likely. That’s why my mother has him—because he took someone she loved. So she’s punishing me for loving him in return. It’s the only plausible explanation I can come up with since they won’t tell me anything.

“No,” Adam answers, typing away on his laptop.

Saint sighs. “How is she doing?” He speaks as if I can’t hear him.

“Devin and Gavin should be here any second.”

I roll over, giving them both my back, and close my eyes. Maybe they’ll sedate me, knock me out so I can get some sleep. At least I can dream of being in Haidyn’s arms again. Dream that I belong to him. That he’s still here. Anything would be better than the hole I have now.

My entire body aches. My chest is so tight it hurts to breathe. I’m not eating anything Jessie brings me. Because I know wherever Haidyn is, he’s also not eating. Why should I get what he isn’t? Is he being tortured? I’m sure. I hate that no matter what my mind comes up with, I know it’s worse. What could my mother possibly be doing with him?

The door opens again, and I hear Adam get up from his chair in front of the double doors that lead to the balcony. It’s where he works on his laptop and phone endlessly. But he needs energy drinks to help him pull all-nighters and function throughout the day.

“What do you need?” Devin asks.

“I need to know my options,” Adam says.

“With?” Gavin asks.

“Her.” I imagine he’s pointing at me while they stand at my back. “She’s refusing to eat, drink…I don’t think she’s gotten up to use the restroom in over twenty-four hours. She’s got to be dehydrated at this point.” Adam sighs.

“Charlotte?” A hand on my shoulder wiggles my body, but I ignore it. “Charlotte?”

I’m pulled onto my back, and I place my eyes on the ceiling as one of them shines a bright light into them. I’m not even sure I could talk if I tried. My throat is too sore from all the sobbing I’ve done. Can you run dry? Like you cry so much that you can no longer produce tears?

I think the worst part is the unknown. It’s been seven days. Even if they find Haidyn, how will he feel about me now? Adam said Haidyn gave himself over for me. Why? We could have had a chance, but he wouldn’t listen to me. Now, what am I supposed to do with my life? It’s meaningless without him in it.

“Nothing,” Adam barks. “I’m telling you to do something.”

“Haidyn wouldn’t want…”

“Haidyn isn’t fucking here!” Adam shouts, interrupting Gavin. “I’m telling you to do something. She’s hurting herself.”

“I say let her do whatever she wants.” Kashton sounds amused. I wasn’t even aware he was in the room. “We don’t force the prisoners to eat. If she wants to die a slow death of starvation, then let her.”

“Kash.” Adam growls his name in warning. “You’re her guardian, for Christ’s sake.”

I still don’t know what that means, and I’m no longer sure I want to.

“I didn’t sign shit.” Kashton laughs like it’s a joke.

“We can move her over to the hospital.” Devin speaks next, trying to come up with a plan.

“That’s a start. Then what?” Adam lowers his voice.

“Feeding tube,” one suggests.

“She’ll just pull it out.” Saint chuckles at their Band-Aid for a life-threatening illness.

As if he even cares what happens to me. Honestly, I’m not even sure I have the energy for that.

“Restraints,” Gavin adds. “They’ll keep her from being able to harm herself or remove the feeding tube.”

“Restrain her to the bed?” Adam repeats, liking the sound of that option.

A moan escapes my cracked lips at the thought of being tied down. Not because I’m horny but because it makes me think of Haidyn. “Are you a rope bunny, doll face?” I can hear his voice ask me that question. If they blindfold me too, then I can pretend he’s in the room. Just being his typical dickhead self and making me wait to get off until he thinks I’m ready. Making me use my words and beg him.

He’s trained my body and my mind to need him. And then he just leaves me and expects me to go on with my life like I imagined him this whole time.

“None of that will be happening,” a woman’s voice states.

“Ash—”

“Help me get her to the bathroom, Adam.” She interrupts Saint. “Now.”

“I don’t think…”

“I don’t give a fuck what you think, Adam,” she shouts. “Give me twenty-four hours with her.” No one says anything to that, and she repeats, “Help me get her to the bathroom.”

“Come on, princess,” Adam says softly before arms roughly slide underneath my body. He picks me up, and my head hangs off the side of his arm as he enters the en suite bathroom.

My eyes are open, but I don’t see anything. Not really anyway. Just blurry shapes and bright, shiny lights. Unless he takes me to see Haidyn, it doesn’t matter.

The sound of running water fills my ears, and I’m set on the side of the tub. The room spins as if I’ve been drinking for days, but I know it’s because I’ve been depriving my body of what it needs to survive.

“I’ll give you ten minutes,” Adam tells Ashtyn. “If it doesn’t work, then we do it my way.”

“You don’t get to show back up out of nowhere—again—and start giving orders, Adam.” She gives a rough laugh.

“Haidyn wouldn’t want her to live like this,” he argues.

I want to say he left me, but it doesn’t matter. They all know that.

“I also know Haidyn wouldn’t want her drugged, tied to a hospital bed, and fed through a tube,” she snaps. “Now, get the fuck out.” She shoves his chest, slamming the door shut in his face before locking it.

She places her hands on either side of my face, forcing me to look at her. I hate how pretty she is. And that all I see when I look at her, is how much Haidyn cares for her. Would he have left her like he left me? Why didn’t he try to run with me like I asked?

“I’m trying to help you. Help me in return.”

“Doesn’t…matter,” I whisper. It’s the first thing I’ve said in days.

Instead of arguing with me, she slides off Haidyn’s T-shirt that I wear and my underwear. I don’t have the strength to fight her or care that she sees me naked. Everyone else has, so what’s one more person?

She takes my hand and helps me into the Jacuzzi tub as it fills with warm water. I slide down into it, waiting for the water to get high enough to just drown me.

“They’ll find him,” she speaks softly. “And you need to look your best when you see your husband again.”

My head falls to the side, and I look at Haidyn’s bathroom counter. His cologne, a toothbrush, and a soap dish are all that’s on it.

“After your bath, I’ll have Jessie get you some food.” She continues.

At the mention of eating, I feel the need to vomit. It’s been a few days since I did that. My hand goes to my mouth, and I swallow it down.

She pauses, shampoo lathering in her hands. Her eyes meet mine when she asks, “Are you pregnant?”

A pain in my chest makes me flinch. “No,” I answer, dropping my eyes to the water filling the bathtub.

“Are you sure?” she questions.

My teeth clench, and I growl. “I’m on the shot. Have been since before the first time he fucked me.”

She drops her eyes to her hands and goes back to lathering the shampoo before washing my hair. I close my eyes and let her take care of me as if I’m incapable of such a small task.

HAIDYN

I’m being kept in a room with no windows, so I have no idea how long I’ve been here. At first, I was keeping track of the days by how long they keep the lights on. It’s like prison—lights on and off at a certain time every day and night. Then they started keeping them on for a full twenty-four hours. Then they switched it up and kept them off just as long.

They either did it to confuse the hell out of me or they want me to go mad. Either way, it’s working.

I’m still weak as fuck, and I’m also starting to hallucinate. I’m not sure if that’s from what they’re giving me or lack of food and water.

They won’t allow me to die but want me to remain on the brink of death. It’s a tightrope to walk, but something that me and my brothers do at Carnage. It’s a physical and mental mind game. It’s the same shit that her and her men put us through during our “training.”

My mind stays on Charlotte. All I can think is that she’s at Carnage. Alive. That my brothers are taking good care of her. Isabella and Hudson can’t touch her there.

After Benny was able to get in, we locked that place down. My brothers won’t allow them to get to her. Anyone who tries will be shot on scene. I don’t care how important Isabella is. Her daughter is safe and far away from her. Plus, the longer she plays with me, the longer she forgets about Charlotte.

Then the thought that I try to push to the back of my mind creeps up—what if Kash and Saint find out who Charlotte really is? Would they still protect her? Will they know that I’m in love with her? That I gave myself up for her to live a different life?

I’m only one man and needed another who I could trust. Do you have any idea how hard it is to know you can’t protect the one person you love?

I feel like I’ve traded one life of hell for her for another. What kind of life is worth living when you’re a prisoner at Carnage? She’ll have to remain there the rest of her life.

I don’t care. Anything is better than what Isabella and Hudson have planned for her. Charlotte being his wife makes me want to vomit—physically ill. Knowing what I’ve done to her—how does he even know? Rage, unlike anything I’ve ever known, eats at me.

She’s mine, and they expect me to watch it? To see her every day and not kill them? I know my girl. She won’t want him, so he’ll have to force her. I’m sure he’ll do it in front of me.

Or Isabella will hold her down. I know what that woman is capable of. None of it good. It won’t matter that Charlotte’s her child. The woman cares about nothing.

The metal door to my room squeaks open, and I squint when the room lights up from the hallway. A man enters and comes to stand next to me while I lie on the hospital bed. I’ve been restrained to it since my operation. Not like I could walk anyway, given the drugs they keep pumping into me. My mind stays foggy and my body heavy.

“Come on, Spade. Time for your meds.” He laughs, and my jaw tightens, knowing they’re about to shove another needle into my arm. At least I’ll get some rest. Last time I had a “round,” I slept through most of it and was able to dream of the life that my wife wanted us to have. The one that she deserved.