Chapter Fifteen: Briar

Torin had turned and was about to walk out of the room again, when she found the courage to move, forcing her voice to say what had been on her mind since before he’d even come back into the house. She had no idea what his reaction would be or where things stood between them now. Would someone like him truly be attracted to someone like her?

The thought froze the words that had been on the tip of her tongue for a moment longer, just as she’d gathered the courage to speak. Her mate had been so far above her he’d hardly been able to look at her when he’d realized that she was the one that the Goddess had cursed him with, she’d seen that in his eyes during the brief glance that her former Alpha had given her before almost immediately looking away. And Torin was so much… her thoughts trailed off.

So much more what?

She couldn’t even quantify everything that he was. He was kinder, and gentler, yes. He was more of a gentleman. She thought, from their brief conversations, that he was more intelligent too. She had heard Alpha Theon speak a number of times, both in school and at pack meetings, and his utterings had never struck her as particularly insightful. But she couldn’t help but feel that Torin had a depth to him unlike nearly everyone she’d met in her life. Or maybe she was biased. After all he had just saved her life, and made her feel things that no one else had ever made her feel.

And that wasn’t didn’t even begin to scratch the surface when it came to what he looked like. Yes, Theon was good looking, in that classic muscular Alpha werewolf sort of way. But after everything he’d done it was hard for her to even see his appeal, which was an odd thing for any wolf, even one who had been hurt as badly as she had been, to think about their mate. But her body most definitely was reacting to Torin’s physical appearance.

Just like Theon, Torin was classically handsome. And while he wasn’t a wolf shifter, everything about him seemed to draw her in, from his scent to his huge chiseled frame that seemed built to protect her, to those intense dark eyes that had stared up at her while he’d been- she cut off the thought before it went further, feeling the blush heating her cheeks for what had to be the twentieth time since she’d woken up in his home.

Even as these thoughts flitted through her mind, she’d stood and walked quietly across the room to where he’d turned, a question in his eyes, followed by a faint look of fear. But what could he have to be afraid of, when they were the only two people in the room?

“Are you alright. Wolfing? The pain isn’t coming back is it?” His brow furrowed as he moved towards her again, his gaze searching her face for any sign of discomfort.

“No. No, it’s nothing like that.” Her voice was hardly more than a whisper as she forced herself to meet his eyes. “I just wanted to thank you.”

“You already did.” His thumb brushed lightly against her cheek before he began to pull his hand away, but she reached up towards him, catching his wrist.

“No, I mean that I really want to thank you.” She bit her bottom lip as she tried to find the right words to explain to him what she meant, since he clearly wasn’t understanding, even as the heat in her face seemed to spread through the rest of her body.

There was a long silence that stretched between them, and she was nearly certain that she heard him groan, although his hand returned to her cheek, for a moment before sliding back to tangle in her thick, dark waves.

“You don’t have to do that, Wolfling.” His breathing sounded ragged as he said the words and she tilted her head towards his hand, not sure if he still wasn’t understanding what she meant.

“I know I don’t, Torin.” She pressed her lips together in a line for a moment, trying to think of another way to explain what she meant. “But I want to. You made me feel so amazing. I’ve never felt like that. No one’s ever-” she shook her head, her cheeks turning even redder as she dropped her eyes to the floor before gazing up at him from beneath her long, dark lashes- “I’d never felt like that before. I just want to make you feel as amazing as you made me feel. It isn’t fair that I have all the fun. Especially when you ran outside to chase off people who were here at your home, probably to do damage, because of me.”

She reached for his belt, biting her lip in a way that she imagined was seductive, but this time he was the one who caught her wrist.

“No. Briar. You can’t. I can’t let you.” His voice was cold and his eyes distant as he stared down at her, the heat that had been there only a moment earlier extinguished. “You don’t owe me anything. You were in pain. I just wanted to stop the pain. I did what anyone would do. But that doesn’t mean that there’s anything between us.”

Torin reached one hand up touching his temple as if he had a headache before stepping back, moving towards her door. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I know this has got to be confusing, which is why I need to be clear with you. Please call me if you need anything. As I said, I’ll be in the shower. After that I’ll be sleeping on the couch in case anyone tries to come back. I can hear you from both of those places easily.”

“Oh.” Embarrassment washed over her and she dropped her eyes to stare at the floor, trying to think of anything to say to make the situation less humiliating and uncomfortable. “Thank you again. For everything. I’m sorry about the misunderstanding.” She heard his muffled words about there being no need for apology as she slammed the door, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks as she ran the few steps across the room and fell back into the bed, pushing her face against the pillow.

What had she been thinking? Of course a man like that wouldn’t look twice at someone like her. She’d only been away from the pack for a day and she’d already forgotten what she was. Not only was she not worth being mated to, she wasn’t even worth considering for a casual fuck. And that hurt. Maybe not as much as losing her mate, but it was up there.

“Only because the rejection came from the giant hunk of muscle you’ve been lusting after.” The voice of her wolf half sighed the words in her mind.

“Thanks for the pep talk.” She whispered before getting out of bed and going to the window. Pushing the blinds aside she saw that it hadn’t stopped snowing.

She wouldn’t be able to make a go of it on her own as long as this kept up. And with luck what were the odds that she wouldn’t run into one of her old packmates, somewhere out there in the vast Alaskan wilderness? She knew that she shouldn’t, but she also didn’t like her chances, not when it was clear that they were tracking her.

Taking a deep breath she tried to think past what had just happened. Yes, she’d gotten a little caught up in what Torin had made her feel, but had she really thought that there could be anything between them?

Of course not. She needed to brush off her embarrassment, the way she’d brushed off every other embarrassment, every other day of her life, and push through this. The only other option that she had was to lay down and die, and in this situation that option was way too literal. She could die out in the snow, or die at the hands of her pack, and while life hadn’t treated her all that well, neither option was particularly appealing to her.

So instead, she snuggled lower in the bed and tried to relax. But as she lay back, she realized that Torin’s t-shirt was twisted around her waist and she growled in frustration. Sitting up, she pushed back the covers and stripped it off over her head, before wadding it into a ball and throwing it across the room and into a corner. It didn’t really matter anyways. It wasn’t like he was going to be coming in to check on her.

There weren’t many things that she was certain of in her life at the moment, but that at least was pretty high on her list of things she knew as she drifted off to sleep. Torin was set on keeping his distance and she was going to have to accept that, even if her ass of a mate fucked up again and he ended up doing more deliciously pleasing things between her legs to chase away her pain.