chapter 12

Linah...

My nerves were a wreck, I was trying everything to calm down ... Breathing, self talk but nothing was working. With James it just felt like I was no longer in control of what was happening. He had the power over me he was like a god and I was his servant, his slave, his submissive....he controlled my thoughts it's like when he came into the picture I no longer belonged to me.

Crazy I know but it.was the truth and today ... Today was it,I felt terrified and excited...

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"I like the dress, suits you perfectly and creates a whole lot of ideas in my head... And as much as I want to just jump right into ripping you out of the clothes and fucking you... We need to feed you and take it slow because of your situation." James said.

"By situation you mean my virginity..."

I whispered as my cheeks became hot.

He was not one to shy of from using crude words. I on the other hand could not imagine saying the word "vagina" out loud yet even with the way he put it I was turned on ...

Meals went quietly with light talk here and there. He questioned about what I wanted to do in the future,where I told my parents I was going and other general stuff. I was calm and the whole talk was pretty fine.

"Do you drink?"... He questioned just as we were finishing to eat.

I thought of the one time I had tried whiskey and that was a hard pass, or when I tried beer and that too didn't seem like my style... What of when I had two sips of mom's red wine and I thought it was not that bad. Well now do those times count as drinking, I don't think so.

"This is embarrassing" I said to myself but he heard me.

"What is?"

I looked up almost immediately since I realized I had said that out loud.

"It's nothing."

"Don't lie." He warned. So I had no choice but to say what I had in mind and that is when I heard him chuckle.

I looked at him and he had this beautiful smile that one could gaze at. His full lips ... And the way he darted his tongue to lick his lower lip before he went back to his normal grin.

"That's not bad at all." I saw his lips move as he said the words but my mind was already else where.

I wanted to kiss him so badly. I wanted to feel him.

James noticed that I was not really paying attention.

"Linah." He called out my name, his voice huskier than normal.

We held each others' and time seemed to stand it. At that moment I was completely drawn into the color of eyes the calmness that they held.

My heart was literally thudding. I could almost swear that I heard it in my ears.

"Tell me what's on your mind..." He asked.

It was then I noticed how close we were to each other. One slight movement and our lips would touch.

"Kiss me!"