12. EXPERIMENT

My phone began to ring. As if someone had caught me I moved away from the wall. I looked at the screen.

Joe

"There he is now." I smirked and picked up.

Timothy looked terrified.

"Hey there, Joe." I kept my eyes on Timothy.

"Hey, kid. How's it going?"

"Oh great. T and I just went for a little walk.. But somehow he ended up in a car.."

Timothy watched me anxiously.

"Ah, yes. It is very cold out today." Joe laughed.

I had no intention of telling Joe anything but just fucking with Timothy made me feel a little better.

"Yes, it is. At least Timothy was warm. Very much so, actually."

"R-right.. You sound a little on edge, are you sure everything's fine? I'll be home in a second if-"

"No, we're doing great. It's just a little chilly."

"Can I speak to Timmy for a moment?"

"Sure."

I pushed the phone into Timothy's hand a little harder than I had to.

"H-hey dad." Timothy seemed slightly relieved but I could still see the tension in his shoulders.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Hm-hm.." His voice was so clear, gentle... How could he? Why? How? I couldn't see it. I just couldn't see it with him. Not him.

"Yes, I did." T kicked a pebble. "Well, if you'd hang up we could go home and eat dinner." He walked around. "Okay. Love you too. Bye." He hung up and cautiously met my eyes.

He fiddled with the phone. "Thanks for not saying anything."

"Yeah, well. I don't want him to blame me for you losing your V to a giant." I snatched the phone from his hand and started towards the way.

"So go on. Tell me."

"About what?" Timothy asked.

"What it was like.. To have his dick up your ass." The words alone almost made me sick but even the uneasiness couldn't hide the interest.. the curiosity I felt.

"You're gonna make me talk about it?"

"Yes. As punishment."

"Punishment for having sex or for having sex with a guy?"

"Both."

"You have sex, right? What's the big deal when I do it?"

"That's different and we're not gonna discuss that. Just talk. Was it good? Better than your unicorn dick? Must've been pretty warm, right? And, hey, at least you're not gonna be stuck with a bunch of golden hairs in your ass after, so that's a plus."

To my surprise I heard a small giggle beside me. I had to check to make sure but Timothy was smirking.

"What?" I couldn't control my stupid face. When he laughed, I started to smile. I covered my mouth and pretended to cough.

"That is the worst part. The glitter and the hair. Gets everywhere." He said with a straight face.

"Wait- for real? Isn't that like a safety hazard or something?"

T began to laugh again.

I gave him a soft push. "You suck."

I made sure not to look at him so he couldn't see me smile.

✪

I was making dinner while Dairy Queer watched TV. I let him call his boyfriend to let everyone know where he was.

I was still smiling, thinking of him grinning at me like that. He never smiled at me. He was usually annoyed or distressed or indifferent.

His smile... It was different than anything I'd ever seen. Truly, like sunshine.

I peered over at him. He was watching the TV carefully. That was a first.

I went into the living room and watched the screen. MTV. Of course.

Some rock music video was on.

I let him enjoy it and went back to cook. All the while all I could think about was his smile.

"Dinner." I called when it was finished.

T turned off the TV and joined me in the kitchen. He looked at the suspicious pots and pans.

"It's chicken with potatoes and vegetables," I clarified.

T opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off. "And yes you have to eat the chicken."

He pouted dissatisfied.

I gave him a plate and watched him fill it. Well, it wasn't really filled. Barely even halfway.

"You're gonna have to eat a little more than that."

Timothy looked at me with big pleading eyes. Not fair. Not fair at all. I thought of his smile if I said yes. A warm feeling in my stomach..

God, no. I was getting soft.

I nodded toward the pan. "Come on." I insisted.

Reluctantly, T added another half scoop of food to his plate and sat down. I sat in front of him with four times the amount of food he had and dug in.

T just played with his food.

"I didn't know you could cook." He said.

That's what having a deadbeat parent will do for ya.

"I know what I like to eat. So I just make food taste that way, easy."

"I don't have that kind of patience."

"Well, you don't like to eat, right? There's no point in cooking if you're not gonna eat it."

T nodded looking wistful. He was really dreading this meal, wasn't he?

"Think of the granola bar." I said before taking a big bite.

That worked instantly. Timothy glared at me and took his first bite.

"It's not so bad, right?"

T nodded and ate some more.

After a while he smirked a bit. "Josh,"

Hearing my name out of his mouth still made me feel some type of way.

"You're really working hard for just a couple cuts of meat. You know my dad will just give it to you if you ask, right?"

"Well-"

Timothy watched me intently.

"And?" Was all I could say.

"What's the real reason you're here?"

I was ready to deny it but I didn't know what to say. What was I doing here? Sure, I loved bossing him around and eating the meat but that wasn't all.

I.. I liked being here. Especially since at my home there was only gloom. Ironically, in this goth house there was more life than in my white one. That was the reason and that alone.

"Do you have siblings?" Timothy suddenly asked. I was grateful he'd changed the subject.

"No. Thank God."

"You don't want them." He concluded.

"Sure, I'd like to have siblings but I wouldn't want anyone around-" I stopped myself from talking.

"Around what?" Timothy asked.

I continued eating. Here he went again, asking me these difficult questions.

"Josh?"

"Stop! Stop saying my name like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like that. Just.. Get off my back, okay? Stop asking me questions."

"You ask me much more personal questions."

"Which you don't answer."

"But still you know everything about me and I know nothing about you."

I sighed.

"My dad's an alcoholic, my mom left us after she gave birth to me, I have no siblings, I used to play baseball, I only know English, my favorite color is blue, Slim Shady is the shit and I hate homos with a passion."

There. The truth. No fucks given.

Timothy didn't look angry about that last fact. "I'm sorry about your parents." Was all he said.

His look wasn't super expressive, but in his eyes was a deep understanding. I felt comforted in the strangest way. Being around Timothy was really doing something to me.

I cleared my throat. "Your food's getting cold."

T picked up his knife and fork and continued eating.

"Why blue?" He asked.

"Because I'm a real man."

Timothy chuckled again. "Because you love blue?"

"Because I play football, I hunt, I watch sports-"

"You cook." Timothy stated.

"Hey! That is true survival right there! There's nothing manlier!"

Timothy was chuckling to himself.

"You can laugh all you want but look at me." I stood up. "Look. I have muscle, I have mass. Your boyfriend sure doesn't."

"When were we talking about him?"

"Just look at this." I pulled up my sleeve and flexed my arm.

Timothy was just smiling at me like I was crazy.

"Come on, feel this."

"You want me to feel your arm?"

I stood next to him. "I want you to know what a real man is, come on." I placed his cold hand on my arm.

He squeezed it and nodded.

"That's a real man." I said.

"So you're saying I should be into you?"

"If you're a real gay, you should be, yeah. Instead you're dating an over-sized butch lesbian."

T chuckled again. "Yes, you're right. I'll just pine after the straight footballer instead."

"At least that would make some sense. Honestly. What is it about that guy?"

"Well, he's sensitive, for one."

I rolled my eyes. "Just date a girl at that point."

"I just want someone who understands me."

"And I don't?!" I was almost offended! He was my little science project and now he was basically telling me that I was failing!

"And he.. He seems really, really interested in me. It's kind of weird. I've never met someone who just cares that much. And it's not just me, it's everything, his morals, his friends. He just cares."

"But you don't care about anything." I said truthfully. About anything other than Charlie, anyway.

"Opposites attract."

"Until they fall apart." A little mean, I know. I just hated hearing about Fangs all the time.

"That would never happen."

"Because?"

"Because he would never break up with me and I'd never break up with him."

"That's naive. All couples think that way. Hell, all people getting married probably do and then: divorce. Do you know the statistics?"

"It's called being hopeful. You should try it." T smiled.

"Yeah, you're right." I closed my eyes and slapped my hands together. "I hope you guys break up."

I felt a soft thing hit my face. I opened my eyes to a rolled up napkin in front of me.

T got up to put away his plate. He'd eaten half which was decent. "Gimme." I held out my hand.

✪

We were sleeping in our usual setup (I can't believe that's a thing) with him in the bed and me on the mattress next to it.

It'd been twenty minutes and still I could not sleep. I was strangely excited about everything that had happened today, his smile, his interest in me and... well, I was sleeping next to his dildo box.

I peered over at it. Still wanted to see him use it. Just out of curiosity, of course.

I needed distraction. I was a horny teenage boy secluded from all female beings, I was in danger, here!

"Timothy."

"Hm?"

"Read me a poem."

"What? Now?"

"No, tomorrow. Yes, now."

I heard some ruffling and the nightlight went on.

"Are you serious?"

"Don't tell me you don't have some faggy little poem book lying around. Grab it and read it." I ordered.

"Okay?" Timothy got up and walked to the book closet across the room.

My eyes glanced over his bare legs before I mentally slapped myself and forced myself to look away.

After selecting a book and going back into bed Timothy yawned and began to read. His tired voice was quieter than normal. It was even more relaxing. I climbed into his bed so I could hear better.

T stopped reading and stared at me. I knew this was weird but.. I had to sleep, okay?

"Keep reading." I demanded.

Timothy obeyed and kept reciting the lines in his feathery smooth voice.

"Deep into that darkness peering, Long I stood there, wondering, fearing.." He yawned briefly and continued musing into my ear.

Other than relaxation now I also felt tingles on my skin, in my stomach. A strange euphoric feeling that was like... getting a massage from inside your soul.

... Gay. It sounds very gay but it wasn't! I promise!

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" He went on. His voice occasionally cracked which sent more tingles to my skin.

"Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date.."

✪

When I woke up Timothy was still asleep. Luckily. It gave me a chance to get the hell out of this bed and disappear. This looked So. Fucking. Gay. I couldn't be found here! Not even by Unicorn Dick himself. I sat up and glanced at him.

Timothy's soft hair covered most of his eyes and the little book lay on his chest. Curiosity took over. He was asleep. Now was a chance to get the truth. What did his skin feel like?

I gently pulled down the covers and was enthralled by his body. A body so different from mine. Everything about him was tiny and soft but not... that feminine either. Not soft enough or curvy enough to be a girl. Exactly in the middle. I couldn't help myself.

I lifted up his shirt slowly and admired his stomach. I gently caressed it's soft skin.

"What are you doing?" T asked suddenly.

I felt caught but still too enchanted to pull away.

"Just shut up an lay still."

I was doing an important examination here.

I could tell he was nervous. I could see his stomach go up and down as I traced his skin further and further up.

"Josh," He protested.

He said my name again.. in that way. I looked at his face. He was blushing and his eyes were still sleepy.

When I reached his nipple he gasped ever so slightly.

"Sensitive nipples, huh?" I smirked.

He was even more red than before and attempted to push me away. I pinned his hands above his head.

"Just stop fighting it!"

"Why don't you just stop!"

"Because messing with you is fun."

"This is how you have fun? Really?"

"You can judge me all you want but you can't stop me. Try lifting some weights."

"Josh-"

He bit his tongue, quite literally, the moment I touched his chest again. This was so interesting. Observing his response to everything I did. In this moment as I leaned over him I could see the appeal. I could see how Charlie might have been able to do what he'd done last night.

My own thoughts confused me.

Timothy was watching me carefully from under his long hair. I wanted to hear more of him. I thought of the box under the bed. How would he sound if I...?

"Heyhey, kids!" I heard Joe's voice from the hallway.

Like lightning, I made sure to get all the way to the opposite end of the room by the time the door flew open. Timothy pulled down his shirt quickly.

"Dad!"

"Is everything okay?" Joe asked.

"Yes. We just woke up." Timothy said, glancing at me nervously.

"I can see that." Joe smiled. "Yeah, I decided to come back early just in case."

"You really shouldn't have. I'm sure you were having so much fun." Timothy answered.

"Yep. Brought back some great fish." Joe nodded. "You staying for dinner?"

I glanced at Timothy who was just staring at his hands.

"No. No, I gotta get home." I started packing my bag.

"Are you sure? It'll taste great and I can tell you all about my trip."

"Some other time, okay?"

Right now I just wanted to sit and think about what the hell had gotten into me.

"S-sure..."

As I drove around in circles I wondered why my experiment didn't feel like an experiment anymore.