28. HARDBALL

I jerked off that night thinking about Timothy. Yes, still. It didn't matter how depressed he was. Every time he looked at me I got chills. And then when he came so close to me and challenged me. ME! I could give him a concussion with a single push but he just wasn't afraid. Those defying eyes were really something to think about.

So after that I decided to check on him. He was two doors down, there was nothing stopping me.

I opened the door to his room and he was sound asleep. I could hear his soft breathing. Relieved, I reclined to my room and fell asleep too.

The next morning I was pumped because I was resolved to drag T out again. We could do some more sports.

When I opened his door expecting him to be asleep, I was surprised to find him awake and sitting up, staring out the window.

"Yo,"

T looked at me. He seemed surprised. Guess he hadn't heard me come in.

"How do you feel? After yesterday?"

T thought for a moment. "Sore."

"Seriously?"

"My chest hurts.." Timothy rubbed his chest. "From the weights.. My arms too.." He stared off into space. Then he looked at me again. "So thanks a lot." He said this, his tone a little playful. He was joking again.

I smiled. "I was going to drag you out again but if you're really that sore..."

"I'll have to stay in bed for at least.. two weeks." T shrugged.

I scoffed and laughed. I came to him. "Really? Is it that bad?"

T nodded.

"Lift your arm."

He came about halfway. "I can't."

I gently pulled his arm a little further up and T cringed. "Ow, ow.."

"Hmm.. How's your other arm?"

He did the same thing, though this one came a bit further before it started to hurt.

T sat on the bed and looked up at me with those eyes. I felt a flutter.

I cleared my throat. "How about your chest?" I lifted up his shirt which made Timothy nervous. He looked out the window and blushed.

"Woah.." His whole chest was bruised blue and purple and I was reminded of what'd happened.

I ran my finger over his injured skin. "I'm sorry about that.."

Timothy was silent. I looked up and he was just watching me. Then he looked confused. "Did you just apologize?"

I dropped his shirt and rose to my feet. I felt embarrassed and caught somehow. I cleared my throat again and peered around the room for a distraction.

I saw a box on a shelf and was reminded of my gift. I hadn't even had the chance to give it to him yet.

"Oh," I turned to Timothy but then I debated whether or not I should give it to him.

"'Oh'?" T asked.

"Your birthday."

T looked hurt as he thought about that day again. He stared at the sheets.

I went out of the room and grabbed my present. T watched me curiously when I came back in.

"Um.. I, uh.. Didn't get the chance to give this on your birthday." I said when I came back in.

"You bought me a present?" T was shocked.

I shrugged. "Everyone else did. What's the big deal?" I smacked my teeth. "Whatever, here." I pressed the small box into Timothy's hands.

He pulled the white ribbon off and opened the little black box. He pulled out the tiny stuffed animal he picked for me when he forced me to take pictures inside Cool Topic.

"Do you remember?" I asked.

T held the plushy in his hands and smiled. "Yeah. I do. This is your friend."

"Well, now it's yours. I don't know," I shrugged. "Thought you'd like it."

"I do. It's very thoughtful. I love it." T smirked and placed the stuffed animal on his nightstand. Then he met my eyes. "Thanks." He looked really happy. And that made me happy and embarrassed cause I didn't want him to know I liked seeing him smile.

I nodded and looked at the ground. "Whatever. Anyway, I made breakfast. Hungry?"

T shook his head.

"Just have little, okay?"

T nodded, eyeing me curiously.

"Stop staring at me! Ugh, whatever. See you downstairs." I walked out of the room and took a deep breath.

✪

T and I had spent that entire day watching movies. He fell asleep a few times and I may or may not have taken some pictures of him sleeping. Even if he wasn't feeling better, his behavior seemed to have improved.

The next day I walked into T's room again. He was sitting in front of the window, curled up in a ball.

"Get dressed, we're going out."

Timothy sighed but didn't look up.

"Tough day? Are you sad? Suicidal?"

Still no answer. A tough day, then.

"Hello? Did you hear me?"

T met my eyes. "Uh, yeah. I'll get ready." He smiled for me but it didn't seem sincere.

"Alright." I went to the kitchen and started serving the oatmeal I made. Let's just see how much he eats today.

A while later T came down the stairs, freshly showered and wearing something other than sweat pants for once. Ripped skinny jeans, black Converse and a black cardigan.

"Wow, a person!"

T smirked and sat across from me.

"I would eat if I were you, we're going to be working out again."

T honestly looked scared. "Really?" He almost begged.

"Yup."

"I'm still sore."

"And I'm sure you've gotten fucked while still being sore no problem."

T smiled for a moment. Then his smile faded and he curled in on himself. He looked so pained.

Shit, of course. I shouldn't be mentioning Fangs.

"Uh, anyway, you'll be fine. We'll do some stretching before and after. I could.. even massage you if necessary."

"You? Massage me?"

"Since I'm your trainer now." I shrugged.

"Josh, I hate sports."

"Your body loves it, though."

T wanted to object but he seemed too tired to. He stared at the oatmeal. "I'm not hungry." He mumbled.

I shrugged. "Suit yourself."

We did some stretching at home, I packed a few snacks and off we were.

I played the radio and another emo song came on.

"Oh, come on! You're so lucky right now."

"Do you mind turning that off?" T asked.

"This song?"

"The radio."

I reluctantly turned it off.

"...Does it remind you of him?"

T nodded.

"How's Fangs anyway?" I asked. I figured maybe it would help to talk about it. That's what girls did and T was more like a girl than a man so..

T took a breath. "He's great. Him and his dad are much closer and his grades are up so." He shrugged. "Everything's perfect."

"You know he's probably lying, right? There's no way things are going that well. I'm sure he misses you too."

"Doesn't matter. He's not coming back."

"Whatever, in two years you'll be eighteen and if you're still hung up you can follow him to Australia."

T shook his head. "He'll forget about me."

"Pff. No one could forget about you."

That sounded gay as fuck. T looked at me.

"How come you're being so nice lately? Are you scared I'm gonna kill myself?"

"Of course I'm not scared, I don't fucking care." I shrugged.

Why would you say that to a suicidal person?!

T just chuckled. "Well, in that case.." T opened the car door as I was driving.

"Timothy, what the fuck!" I screamed, pulling the door shut.

He was laughing hysterically now.

I turned on the lock. "That's not funny, you fucking asshole!"

He just continued to laugh and where I'd normally enjoy him being happy, now I was too angry. I smacked his head.

"Ow!" He chuckled.

"Shut the fuck up! Try that again and I'll rip your head off, you little bitch!"

"Why are you so upset? Thought you didn't care?"

"You're not funny!"

"Did I scare you?"

"Did I not tell you to keep your stupid mouth shut?"

T nodded. "You did. Sorry." He grinned.

"Yeah, shut up."

I used the rest of the ride to calm down. I was shaking but I held the steering wheel so hard, T couldn't see.

✪

"Baseball?" Timothy whined as we walked into the building. They had a snack bar here so after we could have a hot dog. Yum. Joe had given us money to spend so.. free food.

"Yep." I was even wearing my old baseball jacket. It was red, yellow and white, worn and sturdy. Real leather. They don't make em like this anymore.

We made our way outside to the batting cage. It was cold but not as bad as two days ago.

"I used to be on the baseball team when I was twelve."

"This is from when you were twelve?" T tugged at the big jacket.

"While I was in fact shredded, I may have told them to size up. A lot."

T laughed. "You're so stupid."

"And you suck at sports. Now, I'll show you how it's done and you follow." I grabbed a bat and started the machine.

"So we're gonna start easy. 50 miles per hour." We had some nice distance between the machine and us. T was standing right behind me since I was sure I'd hit the ball. He was safe.

The ball flew out and I easily hit it.

"See that? Easy peasy. One more time."

Again I hit it straight across the field.

I turned to T. "See?"

T had his arms crossed and was shivering a little. Idiot left his coat in the car.

"Are you cold?"

T nodded.

I shrugged out of my jacket and handed it to him. "Here."

"Are you sure?"

"Just put it on, Timothy."

"Thanks."

Now, I gotta say.. He looked fucking cute, okay? The jacket was absolutely massive on him.

"Here, hold this." I gave T the bat and put my baseball cap on him.

"Your dad might want a picture of this historical moment." That was complete bullshit. I was adding this picture to my Timothy collection for uh... research purposes. God, he was wearing my clothes. Why was that so hot?

"Alright, smile!"

I held up my Blackberry and took a couple pics.

I cleared my throat. "Anyway. I'll turn it on now. Remember how I did it, dork."

T sighed. He was totally dreading this but got into position anyway.

"Legs further apart! You should be used to spreading your legs!"

T did as he was told without complaint and I turned on the machine.

The ball fired and T swung from underneath, which was good but at the end he made a weird little hop while lifting his back leg and the ball nearly hit me in the face.

"That sucked!"

"Shocker." T said sarcastically.

"Correction: you suck." I came up to him. "It's not that hard."

"For you, maybe."

I smacked my teeth. "Your form is shit. You always keep both feet on the floor and as you hit the ball you turn your hips and pivot on your back foot. Always keep your eye on the ball and point to it's destination."

"Huh?"

"Ugh!" I groaned. This was so simple! He was supposed to be smart, how was this so hard for him?!

I was reminded of the time we did this in PE at school.

I turned the machine back on and stood behind Timothy. I held his hands on the bat and waited.

"There it is. Keep looking, get ready," I pulled the bat back. "And hit!" I said as I hit the ball across the yard.

"Simple." I said. I looked at Timothy. "Wanna try that again?"

"Uh.."

The next ball already came flying towards us. I focused on it and hit it again, even harder then before. I let go afterward. "See?"

"Ow? Fuck.." T shook his hand.

"How did that hurt? You didn't do anything!"

"Do you know how hard that impact is? Jesus."

"Well, that's how hard you're supposed to hit."

"I can't do that." T sighed.

"Just pay attention. I'll do it with you these first few tries, okay?"

T nodded.

I came up behind him again. And.. It was pretty intimate. Standing all close to him I could smell his powdery hair and as I cupped his hands I could feel his cold skin warm up against mine. I could hear his breathing.

We must look like a couple to people.

"You ready?" I don't know why I whispered.

T nodded and hummed in agreement.

The ball came out and I hit again. I noticed T did the leg twist and he turned his hips.

"That's right."

T peeked up at me. He was blushing. Maybe I was too.

"Eyes on the ball." I said curtly.

T turned his head and we hit the ball again.

This time T chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?"

We hit another one.

T laughed again. "Uh.. Nothing."

"Say it, pussy."

Another one.

"Do you always make that sound?"

"What sound?" I said annoyed.

"That groaning sound. It's weird. Especially when we're standing like this."

Okay now I knew I was red like a tomato.

It was normal, okay?! You have to huff a little, to release the power!

I let him go.

"I knew you were a fucking pervert. Are you hard yet? What, are you imagining us fucking? Dream on, little bitch."

"And that's why I didn't say anything." T looked at the ball which came flying toward him.

"You're hard, by the way." T said casually.

I looked down.

He was fucking right! Shit! I pulled my shirt down.

"I was thinking of girls! Don't get your fucking hopes up, fag!"

"You don't have to feel embarrassed. It's normal." T shrugged.

Inside, I felt relieved he was taking it like that. Just some good old teen hormones. Nothing gay about that.

Still, I needed to assert dominance.

"No, what's normal is me beating you up if you open your mouth again!"

The ball came out and T hit it. He actually hit it this time. Terribly, but he hit it nonetheless.

"Hey, you did it!"

T looked at me and smiled. He actually looked proud.

"Heads up!" I said as the next one flew towards him.

He kept batting and he was actually getting better. I was shocked but then again, he had me for a coach.

After about ten minutes he was exhausted.

"You did good." I gave T a high five. "Let's go for some food."

"Sure."

We walked down the hallway that led us back inside when we heard a group of loud guys behind us. Here we go again. Was it so obvious T was a rainbow-rider? I looked at his pants and sighed.

Yes.

"Well, well, well, look who it is."

I stopped in my tracks cause I recognized that voice.

I turned around.

Dave, Karl, Nick, Dennis, Taylor and some guys from the team. My friends.

"Uh- hey guys."