46. CLOSET

It was raining outside. It was insane. The wind was blowing leaves all over the place. I was glad I was inside.

During lunchtime at school I sat with my friends who were boring the living daylight out of me. Then I looked up and saw a certain blonde emo boy standing in line for food.

"I'm grabbing some more fruit." I said and got up.

I grabbed a lunch tray and cut in front of T.

He looked up surprised. "Hey?"

"Yo." I started grabbing random shit from the self service bar.

"I thought we weren't talking in public." T said quietly.

"We're not talking. I'm just grabbing some food."

T chuckled. "Right."

"How is your day so far?"

Alright, I'm gay. Fuck. I'm gay. I would normally never ask that shit but look at me now. Speaking the dumbest, gayest sentence ever. And with sincere interest even! Ugh!

T smiled surprised. "Good. I have a lot of classes with Allie today."

"Oh yeah. How's Allie? Still heartbroken over me?"

T scoffed. "She's fine. I think she met someone over the summer but she won't tell."

"Ooh, a mystery. Maybe it's a girl."

T raised his eyebrows. "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Cause-"

"Hello? Are you two done yapping?" The lunch lady asked.

I rushed and paid for my food. I lingered around for T. After he paid I pulled him aside.

"This is driving me crazy." I said.

"What is?"

"Pretending we're not a thing. Being so fucking secretive! I just want.." I frowned and looked away.

"I'm fine with being public if you want that so long as we don't tell my dad."

"You know I can't." I stared at the ground.

"Josh, it's fine. I don't mind either way." T grabbed my arm.

I jerked it away on instinct.

"Sorry." T and I said simultaneously.

"Don't apologize." I said.

"Kay." T stared at his feet.

"Nice hair." I said. He had it normal today. Actually, ever since school started he'd stopped torturing it with combs and hairspray.

"Yeah you.. You said you liked it like this so.." T blushed and avoided eye contact.

AWW!!

I instinctively leaned in to kiss him but then remembered we were in public. I pulled away and stomped my foot. "Fuck!"

"It's fine." T said calmly.

I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him close. "Come to the janitor's closet in an hour." I whispered in his ear.

Then I turned around and went back to my friends. I sat down and glanced at T and he was still standing there, red as a tomato.

I couldn't help but smile. What an idiot.

"That looked cozy." Dave said suddenly.

Anxiety shot through me.

"What?"

"You were talking to that emo smurf the whole time. It looked intimate."

Some of the guys stopped their conversation and listened in. All eyes were on me.

I scoffed. "Please. That's just.. I was just talking to him about dinner." I shrugged.

"Dinner? Then why'd you whisper?" Dave asked, looking skeptical.

"Fine. It's because, David, you can't exactly scream a death threat in high school."

"Ooh!" Some of the guys said in unison.

Dave smirked. "Okay cool. Yeah, he looked pretty dazed." He nodded.

"His life practically flashed before his eyes." I said.

"I wish it would flash before mine." Taylor said. Everyone laughed.

I hated every second of it. I found myself getting nauseous. The guys continued their conversation and I just tuned out.

"You good?" Dave tapped my back.

"Yeah. Fine."

I noticed then that Dave's knuckles were red and bloody.

"Dude, what happened?"

Dave looked angry and sad at once. "Had a fight with my dad."

"He fought you?" I asked in disbelief.

Dave shrugged. "At least he didn't win."

✪

I was in the closet. Quite literally, waiting for T to show up. It was weird. It was like I was hungry for him and being apart was almost painful. And every time I saw him I just wanted to grab him and hold him. It was so intense I just wasn't used to it.

I nervously stared at the door tapping my foot. Five minutes later T came in and my heart thumped.

"Sorry it took so long. I had to answer a bunch of questions before-"

I grabbed his face and pressed my lips against his while holding him against the door.

After the surprise went down Timothy answered my kiss.

"I've been waiting all day for that." I panted.

Before T had the chance to reply I kissed him again. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and pulled him close to me.

I ran my fingers through his hair. "So you did this all for me, huh?" I smiled.

T chuckled and nodded. "Yes."

"I love it. Hope you're happy. Making yourself irresistible so I feel bad." I started kissing his neck.

"That wasn't my intention."

"So he says." I slid my hands down T's back and felt his ass. T shifted on his feet.

I kissed him once more, sliding my hands into his pants. He breathed out while I cupped his butt.

"Wait, here?" He said softly.

"Yeah, why not?" I huffed before kissing his neck. T squirmed in my arms.

He stepped back. "Wait,"

"What is it?" I asked, already pulling him back by his shirt.

"There's a camera." T nodded behind me.

I looked up into a corner. "Fucking perverts."

"How are they supposed to know people were going to try to hook up here?"

I removed my hoodie. "What other use is there for a janitor's closet?"

I tossed my hoodie in the air and it covered the camera perfectly. God, I love being good at sports.

"Come here." I said, already pulling T by his arms.

"This is a bad idea." He said against my lips.

"Why?"

"What if someone finds us?"

I locked the door behind T. "Anything else?"

For a moment he was speechless but then he pressed against my chest when I leaned in again.

"We don't have lube."

"Oh, come on. You know what? You're a man, sort of. Take it like one."

Timothy laughed at that. "I don't have a death wish."

"That's too bad cause the way you're going I'm getting homicidal tendencies."

T sighed. He leaned against my chest. Then he looked up. "We can do other things."

I shook my head. "That won't do, I'm afraid."

We kissed slowly. It was so unnecessary. I was more than ready to get it on right now.

I pulled away. "I have an idea."

T waited for me to go on.

"Open your mouth."

T closed his eyes and sighed before obediently doing as I said.

I pushed my finger into his mouth and he.. well, he got the assignment.

✪

When school was out I spotted Timothy outside with Allie and to my dismay, Blade. They were talking and laughing. Allie looked good. She looked happy enough. I'd be surprised if she cared me and T were together.

Then Blade did something to make me want to shove him into the street. He picked Timothy up and instead of pushing him off, Timothy just laughed like nothing was wrong.

"Are you coming or what?" I snapped.

They all looked up at me. Allie quickly looked away and ignored me.

Blade finally put Timothy down.

"Bye guys." T said to them.

I walked right past them, heading for my car which was stupidly a block away. Since I wanted to avoid as much confrontation with my friends as possible.

T caught up with me a little later and we walked together.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't it be?" I looked around. No one. I grabbed his hand.

"I don't know. You seem tense."

"You seem tense. How's your ass?"

T chuckled. "Sore."

"Sorry. It was a bad idea."

"It's okay. At least you seemed a little relieved after. This secret thing is hard for you, isn't it?" T asked.

"No." I shrugged. "It's probably harder for you."

T shook his head. "I just want what you want."

Something about it messed with me. That T was so okay with being my dirty little secret. It was stupid, but I thought if I was Fangs he'd want to be shown off. Maybe he was embarrassed of me. Or maybe he didn't care because he didn't like me that much anyway. Otherwise how could this all be so easy for him?

Ugh, it was stupid. I tried to ignore my thoughts.

"Uh, Josh?" Timothy pulled me back.

I looked into his eyes.

"We passed the car."

"Oh."

I turned on the radio and once again emo shit was playing. T sang along happily and it made me smile. There'd been a time he couldn't even hear music without feeling like crap and look at him now.

I grabbed his hair. He met my eyes.

"What are you smiling about?" T asked.

"You." I answered honestly.

T leaned in and kissed my cheek.

What was going on? Now I couldn't even drive without getting all mushy about him. God, he fucking had me. He totally had me.

I parked in front of the house and kissed him long and hard before getting out of the car.

We made it inside the house and it smelled different. It smelled like dinner but there was something floral in the air. A woman.

We both walked into the living room and that's when I remembered Dahlia was here for dinner. She smiled when she saw us.

"It's good to see you two." She said.

T tensed up. I grabbed his hand as subtly as I could and gave it a squeeze.

"Likewise." I said.

I nudged him but Timothy didn't say anything.

"Hey hey, guess what, Timmy?" Joe came from the kitchen in an apron. "Dahlia likes fish just like you!"

"Yes! I'm such a mermaid but I could eat fish every day. It's just delicious!" Dahlia said.

"Meat is superior." I pretended to cough.

Joe and Dahlia laughed.

"I don't like fish anymore. That was when I was six, so." T said, looking at the ground.

He was being bitchy. It was honestly fascinating. And weirdly hot.

Yeah. I don't know either.

An awkward silence ensued.

"I'm going to put away my stuff." T grabbed his bag and left. I followed after him.

"Remember what we talked about?" I said as we headed up the stairs.

"What? I was being nice. I didn't even tell her her shoes clashed with her dress. Or that she should consider using one pump of perfume instead of six."

I laughed. "God, you're meaner than I thought. How do you feel about how I dress?" I asked amused.

T glanced at my outfit. With one look he scanned me.

He didn't say anything. He only smirked.