54. SONG

It was tonight. The winter formal. Timothy had spent all his time practicing his performance and I had dusted off one of my old suits.

I got this one from my dad. He'd given it to me for my fourteenth birthday and it'd been way too big. He told me he got this size cause I seemed like a big man to him. Personally I think he'd just been too off his face to remember my size but whatever. It'd just hung in my closet until now.

It was really nice. It was black with a subtle sheen to it. I was just wearing a royal blue tie with it

Timothy came into the room looking simple but drop dead gorgeous as always.

He was wearing dark dress pants with a white shirt and a black tie. His sleeves were pulled up. He looked cool enough to be on stage yet casual enough to be serving drinks.

I whistled at him.

T chuckled. "Come on."

"No, if I feel the need to whistle I will." I grabbed his tie and pulled him close. "You look hot."

"Look at you." T said, grabbing my blazer.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah. You look so mature." T grinned.

"I am mature. I'm a whole ass year older than you. I'm your senior. Treat me with respect."

"Yes, of course." T said seriously. "Should I call you mister?"

I grinned. "Actually that doesn't sound bad."

T closed his eyes. He was already embarrassed but, still he said "Mister Campbell." In the smoothest voice ever.

I pulled him in and pecked his lips and then I remembered my gift.

"Oh wait! I got you something!"

"What? Why?" T asked.

I grabbed a little box out of my drawer and pressed it into Timothy's hands.

"I just felt like it." I shrugged.

T looked so touched. "I didn't get you anything." Timothy said guiltily.

"Doesn't matter! You don't have to. Just wear it. Please."

T opened the little box and revealed a royal blue boutonniere that matched my tie. I figured people wouldn't think anything of it since it's not like I was wearing a corsage or anything.

"If we're not gonna be dancing together we'll at least be together in spirit." I said.

T stroked the blue flower and smiled. "Thanks Josh. It's perfect." He was even tearing up a little.

"You don't have to cry over it." I chuckled.

"I just didn't expect this. It's so thoughtful. Thank you." T said again. And just like I wanted he leaned up on his toes and kissed my cheek.

He grabbed my hand.

"Hurry up, boys! You're gonna be late!" Joe called.

"I'm singing for you tonight. And you don't know the second song yet.. but it's about you. All of it." T gave my hand a squeeze and walked out the door.

There were so many butterflies in my stomach. I honestly started to wonder when it would stop. It had now been over four months since we started dating. I could never tire of him.

"Josh!" Joe called again.

I hurriedly made my way downstairs. T had his flower pinned so it stuck out of the front pocket of his shirt.

"Another blue one! Did you guys match cause you're both going stag? That's so cool!" Joe said happily.

I glanced at T and he chuckled quietly at his dad's cluelessness.

"Absolutely."

"That's great. Come on, close up together. Let me get a good pic."

"This isn't prom, dad." T laughed.

"Who cares? You boys look wonderful, you won't want to forget this. Now smile!"

Fuck it. I wrapped my arm around T and pulled him close in the most no-homo way.

Joe snapped a few pictures and off we were.

"It's gonna suck not being able to dance with you." I said when we were on the road.

"I'll be watching you, you better show me some good moves." T smirked.

"Yeah." I grabbed the back of his neck and massaged it.

I felt guilty for hiding him and I wondered if there really wasn't a way to just.. tell people. Would it really be that bad?

No. Just a few more months and we'll be out of here. I gotta lay low until then.

We pulled up to school and it was ice cold out. They predicted snow today and it wasn't hard to believe with this frosty weather.

The parking lot was fully packed. We made our way to the decorated entrance already hearing music blasting from inside. The loud bass thumped beneath our feet. There was even a red carpet running down the path to the doors.

"Have fun, okay?" T said.

"Yeah." I lied. It was going to be boring without him.

T merely brushed his hand against mine and went inside. But it was enough to make my heart melt.

I couldn't help myself. I couldn't stop the thoughts I was constantly trying to suppress. He deserved so much better than me. He didn't deserve someone that hid him.

"Yo, Joshyy!" My friends each slapped my back, Dave was last to wrap his arm around me.

"You seriously didn't bring anyone?" Dave asked mockingly.

"Got dumped last minute." I shrugged.

"Shit man," Karl slapped my back.

"It's fine. We'll keep you entertained." Nick discreetly exposed the liquor flask in his coat pocket.

Drinking was honestly not a bad idea. It might make my friends tolerable. I thought of Timothy's bruised back and fought back the urge to beat them all up.

"Give it here." I said.

We each took a swig and went on inside. Let the party begin.

The actual dance was in the gym. Though even the halls leading up to it were decorated with huge glittery snowflakes and icicles. But nothing like inside the gym. The whole ceiling was beautifully decorated in blues and whites. Snowballs, snowflakes, crystals that looked like frozen rain drops.. The dance committee had really outdone themselves.

There was an area with fake snow for pictures, a stage which was empty for now, and when facing the stage the tables with food and drinks were on my right.

Jen was already inside. All in red. She looked great. Dave went up to her. They seemed to be doing all better. And Allie was there with some guy.

I felt relieved to see her. I ditched my friends for a moment.

"Allie! Who is this!"

Allie smiled. "Josh, meet Kane, Kane, Josh."

"Sup, man. Cool suit. Is it vintage?" The guy was covered to his neck in tattoos but other than that he looked..

Nah he just looked straight up weird. But oh well, what else can you expect from a girl like Allie?

"Uh.. I guess?" I answered.

"Super fly, man." He said, checking out my suit.

"Thanks." I laughed. "Nice tats."

"Thanks man, yeah I love ink. When I see someone without it just makes me want to go all ham on that virgin skin."

"Wait, you did it yourself?"

"Yeah man, ain't no other way."

I nodded. I gotta admit he was pretty talented. Allie seemed happy with him.

"Allie, great job on the dance! It looks great!"

"Thanks!" She smiled. "It took a while to get people to see my vision."

"Yeah, and how come your vision includes Timothy singing when you already have a band?"

Allie began to laugh. "That? Well, Timmy has more talent than he can count. I want him to realize before he graduates."

I was touched. Allie always looked out for him, huh? God, I love her.

"Let's dance, babe! This song is killer!" Kane insisted.

"Alright. See you around Josh! Wait, where's your date-" Kane dragged Allie into the crowd.

I glanced at T.

He smiled at me from the drinks table.

Guess Allie was way over me. Which cleared one reason to keep us a secret off the list, only leaving about a million others.

I sighed. How much I wanted to show him off. This whole thing was killing me.

When I looked again T was with Blade. They were manning the drinks together. Great. Fucking great.

My friends not so subtly took more swigs from the flask but I decided to lay low. After all I was waiting for T's performance. Couldn't be drunk for that.

Two hours went by and I was in the middle of the dance floor messing around and dancing with my friends and some randos cause what else could I do? I made sure to make eye contact with T a lot since I was mostly dancing for him but suddenly he was no longer at the drinks table. And neither was Blade. It was being worked by two new people now.

Where the hell was that guy?

The music was still playing but suddenly two guys came on the dark stage. I recognized T's outline. Blade was right behind him with a guitar. Two more band members started setting up. My heart thumped.

T sat on a high wooden stool right at the front of the stage. He had one foot on the ground and the other on the foot rest. Lights turned on and the music faded away.

"Oh my God! Timothy!" Some girls cheered. And he laughed.

There were more excited screams than booing but my friends' voices were louder.

"Shut the fuck up!" I jabbed some of them and they shut their mouths.

T looked through the room for me and found me soon enough. It wasn't obvious but he looked relieved.

"Uh.. hi. I'm Timothy Nightingale. I'm gonna sing two songs today." He said awkwardly. You could practically hear crickets.

"Thanks Allie." He added.

I laughed and so did my peers.

"Um.. they're both love songs so.. time to slow dance probably."

T nodded at Blade and he began playing a sweet melody.

He sang the song he'd sung for me before and I loved it. I believe it's called 'arms'. I loved hearing his voice echoing through the room. Everyone was in awe for a moment since no one had heard him sing before. Soon enough people started slow dancing. Dave came up to Jen but she walked away. That was odd.

I didn't care. All I could care about was the angelic sounds leaving Timothy's mouth. Everyone could hear it. He held the mic stand instead of the mic. He looked so fucking cool.

Yeah, listen close. That's my boyfriend.

I wish I could tell people. Why wouldn't I? So what if people act dumb? Let them.

"I hope that you see right through my walls." T continued to sing.

I was in a trance. I wished I could just kiss him now. He looked at me as he sung and warmed my heart in ways I thought wasn't possible.

"Dude, is that dumb or what?" Dave laughed.

"Not now." I said.

"What?" Dave looked at me as if I was crazy.

"Later." I focused on T again.

"Look, I did what you said about Jen. Everything was fine and now all of a sudden she won't dance with me." Dave said.

I barely even heard him. "Yeah, okay. Later." Was all I said.

Dave scoffed and went to the other guys.

T finished the song and a loud applause broke through the room. Fuck it, I probably screamed the loudest.

"Timothy!" I yelled proudly.

He smiled at me and I felt butterflies.

T nodded at Blade and the next song began. The one he'd told me about.

I listened closely.

"I like your smile, I like your vibe, I like your style. But that's not why I love you." He sang.

I looked around confused as if my ears had deceived me. Did I hear that right? The chorus came in.

"You're so beautiful. But that's not why I love you. I'm not sure you know that the reason I love you is you."

My mouth fell open. It was as if he was pulling me to the stage. I had to talk to him.

He loved me? I loved him more. I had to tell him!

"This is beautiful." I heard a girl beside me say. Everyone was in awe.

Someone grabbed my arm.

I turned around. It was Jen. "I need to tell you something."

"Can it wait?" I asked even though it seemed urgent.

"Not really. Look, I feel like.. When we talked in the cafeteria.."

I was only half listening, looking at her sporadically before focusing on T again.

"You said you told someone something you shouldn't have. Was that about me? When you said you didn't like me?" Jen gave me hopeful eyes.

"What?" I could barely even understand what she was talking about.

"Cause I really, really like you. And I only got with Dave because I thought you didn't want me."

"Huh? Just wait a sec-"

"Yeah the reason I love you is all that we've been through. That's why I love you." T finished the song.

Jen grabbed my collar and kissed me hard. I don't know why but someone decided to put a spotlight on us.

I pushed her off me. "What the hell, Jennifer!"

Her eyes teared up. "But.. I thought.."

Dave glared at us.

Jennifer looked confused and heartbroken. She ran out of the gym.

I looked up panicked at Timothy. He was already walking off stage. This was so fucked! I had to talk to him. This was supposed to be our moment!

I tried to make my way through the crowd but Dave blocked my way.

"What the hell, man? I knew you still fucking liked her." Dave pushed me.

"I don't! She kissed me!" I screamed. "Now get out of my way- "

"I'm not gonna forgive you for this, man!" Dave grabbed my shirt. "First you give me advice only to stab me in the back? You always take everything!" He growled.

"It was HER, not me!" I screamed.

"Yeah, but you probably led her on. Or flirted with her like you always do. Talking to her behind me back! What, did you play the little saint? Pretend to save her from me or something?"

"Let go!" I pushed Dave off me. I could deal with him later. Now all I wanted was to explain that I loved Timothy back and that Jennifer meant nothing to me.

I ran backstage.