Bria POV:

" mi aguh call yuh back Mickayla,  mi affi do sumuh fi mi mada " , I said still taking in the shocking scene before me . My mother had scrambled off the bed and came towards me and I expected her to offer some form of explanation as to why I was seeing what I was seeing but instead, she slammed the door closed in my face and I stood there for another minute my mouth hanging open in shock .

I went into my room and sat down on the bed , my head filling with thoughts. How was it possible that my mother was gay ? She was the leader of a church and she was married . Was it all for show and why my best friends mother of all persons? How long had this been going on ? Did my father know ? What the actual hell ?

Suh all along mi a live one whole big lie.  Fus dem adopt mi and keep it to dem self and mi did haffi find out pon mi own and now mi a find out seh eh marriage and eh Christian lifestyle weh dem a lead , a lie to ? Why she get married if she know she know seh she like woman ? Suh if she like woman how the hell she stay married to mi fada ? Yuh know wah eh worse thing bout all a this ? a deveen eh fact seh she like woman or a secretly deh wid mi best friend mada , a eh fact seh she a wah pastor and mi hear har preach against things like dem yah , suh she a lie  before God himself.

I heard her room door opened and then footsteps going down the stairs and the front door closing seconds later and I took that to mean that my best friend's mother had left. Shortly after my mom knocked on my door before opening it and entering.

She stood looking at me for a good couple minutes before she said her tone firm,

" yuh nah guh seh a word bout this to nuhbody , not even Mickayla.  This anuh none a yuh business and mi expect yuh fi keep yuh mouth shut".

I raised my eyebrows at her in surprise,

" what? Suh instead a fi explain why yuh choose fi have sex wid mi best fren mada , yuh rather ignore weh mi just walk in pon and tell mi fi nuh seh nuhun? You are supposed to be a leader ! You are a pastor and you and daddy are the leaders of a church ! And yuh unu raised mi inna God and moral beliefs and now a pure lie a get revealed? "

" mi seh yuh fi shut yuh mouth Bria! Yuh think it easy fi do weh mi a do ? Yes mi love woman and yes mi in love wid Lenisha but, mi cah put that out deh inna society fi mek nuhbody know that bout mi! From mi get saved from mi a 18 mi decide seh mi aguh swallow how mi feel bout women when eh comes on to woman and just do weh mi family and everybody expect mi fi do and mi get  married to wah good man and join him inna ministry. Mi deveen know seh mi still feel dem way deh bout woman until Lenisha kiss mi one time and even a the time mi did feel dirty and  sinful because mi know it nuh right but, mi couldn't help it , suh mi a tell yuh right now yah guh keep yuh mouth shut! especially if yuh wah finish college", she said threateningly and I blinked rapidly, taken aback by her threat .

She turned and left my room before I could respond and I sat there contemplating how my life had done a complete 360. Everything that I thought I knew about myself and my life had been a lie and now I couldn’t even trust the very people who raised me and who was supposed to be my family.

I had nothing against persons who are lesbians , gay or whatever they choose to be because it isn't my problem or my concern and everyone had their own lives to live but, when you are raised in a Christian environment with pastors as your parents you don't expect that the very people who preaches against that type of lifestyle,  to be the same ones part taking in it while leading people in Christianity.  Now she expected me to not only pretend like nothing happened but, to also keep this from my best fren?

I sighed , it was high time I started supporting myself and I planned on doing just that and even though studen loan was my last resort, I decided I would take it if it meant I could live a life without hypocrites and lairs . I wasn't going to say anything to Mickayla because it wasn't my place but, if she suspects anything and decides to ask me I won't be lieing to her either .

At dinner that night, my mother acted liked she usually did . The loving , caring wife and the sweet and devoted mother and my father didn't sense a thing but, Celine picked up on the fact that something was amiss and after dinner while I was in my room,  in she came a demanding look in her eyes. I couldn't believe she was now 15 years old because she didn't look it but, she acted older , always had and as much as we couldn't agree on majority of things , she knew me well, at least better than the people who raised me .

" come , talk cause mi know seh sumuh wrong . Mi coulda si it pon yuh face Bria", she said as she sat down on my bed beside me.

" si what?", I asked acting confused .

She gave me a don't-even- try- tek - mi-fi- ediat look and smiled,

" Nuhun nuh wrong Celine , mi just realised seh the family weh mi live wid and eh Christian like environment weh wi raised inna a did just one big lie", I replied and she frowned confused.

" yah talk inna parables but, since yuh nuh ready fi seh nuhun . Mi aguh mek it stay fi now but, mi glad yuh come back, even if a  just fi three days", she seh.

" oh suh yuh miss mi ?", I said teasingly and she rolled her eyes but, smiled .

" nuh mek it swell yuh head but, thanks for the donuts.  Weh yuh plan fi do fi yuh birthday tommrow?"

I shrugged, " honestly am not sure but, Mickayla and I are going out to a nice restaurant for dinner. We are both just to put money together and have a nice likkle dinner and tek some pictures ".

" o ok. That sound nice , well enjoy yourself " , she said and then we talked for a little bit longer and then she went back to her room . That night, I didn't get much sleep because I kept thinking abiut what I had seen and I just couldn't accept it. The following morning,  my father did what he always did , he sent money into my account for my birthday and my mother did the same , usual for her but, not surprising , after all she was probably seeing it as way to ensure I didn't say anything. I called Mickayla and we discussed where we were going for dinner and then once I had decided on a restaurant , I called and made the reservation. I didn't want much for my birthday so a nice dinner at a nice restaurant with my best friend the only person who had yet to be a liar or a hypocrite to me, was more than enough.

9:30pm later....

The dim, cozy lights of the seaside restaurant flickered against the glass windows, casting reflections of the ocean’s gentle waves. The warm hum of laughter and clinking glasses filled the space, but I  felt like I was underwater, distant, muted, my thoughts tangled in the storm inside my mind.

I sat across from Mickayla, who was all bright smiles and excitement, completely unaware of the emotional war I was waging beneath my carefully curated calm. The flickering candle between us cast soft shadows on Mickayla’s face as she leaned in, her eyes sparkling.

“Happy birthday, babe!” she grinned, raising her glass of sparkling wine in a toast.

"welcome officially to adult world" , she said and I smiled.

" like yah nuh adult already but, thanks. Mi already a feel eh pressure ".

" but, yuh look damn good undah the pressure though", she complimented.

I forced a smile, lifting my glass. "To...surviving another year, I guess". My voice came out lighter than I felt.

I took a sip, the cold fizz doing little to drown the knot in my throat.

Mickayla tilted her head slightly, studying me. "Yuh good? You’ve been acting weird all day. Yuh nah feel eh vybz Or... is this about your parents?"

My heart skipped, the mention of my parents hitting like a punch to the gut. I swallowed hard, setting my glass down with more force than intended, the soft clink louder than necessary.

“no ,mi just tired" , I replied quickly, waving it off with a shaky laugh.

“Yuh know how mi stay when eh come to mi birthday , mi just always a feel down , tired or mi just start thunk bout things weh nuh necessary but, mi nah mek nuhun ruin mi mood ", I replied.

But she wasn’t buying it. She leaned back, crossing her arms, her smile fading into a more serious expression.

“Bri, come on. You’ve been my best friend since primary school days . Mi know when yah lie or sumuh a bada yuh, suh talk".

My chest tightened. The words were right there, burning on the tip of my  tongue, but how could I  say them?

Yuh mada a sleep wid my mada and dem in love wid each other but, mi mada supposed to be wah leader and lead people.It sounded like the setup to a bad joke, only it wasn’t funny.

I fiddled with the edge of my napkin, twisting it between my fingers.

"anuh nuhun important, Mickayla just...family things . Complicated and mi nuh wah talk bout it right now , just wah enjoy mi birthday and figet bout everything  , even college fi awhile", I replied.

Mickayla reached across the table, her hand warm and reassuring when it covered mine,

"Alright but, yuh know seh yuh cah tell me anything, cause mi deh yah fi listen and help if I can, nuh matter what it is".

I looked at her, really looked, at the trust in my best friend’s eyes, the unwavering loyalty. And it made my stomach twist with guilt.

"mi know", I whispered, my voice almost breaking. I  pulled my hand back gently, forcing another smile.

“but, let's  not mek mi  birthday all depressing though. Come wi talk bout sumuh else . Oh yes , the man weh yuh seh inna yuh criminal law class . Weh him name again? Oh Davio?"

She  hesitated for a moment, like she was about to push again, but then she let it go, diving into an animated story about Davio and his disastrous attempt to flirt during her criminal law class.

I laughed when I was supposed to, nodded at the right moments, but inside, i felt like I  was crumbling.

Because the secret sat heavy in my chest, and no matter how much cake we would eat or how many stories Mickayla told, it wouldn’t go away.

Not tonight.

Not ever.