Caius POV

" did you go to church Mr.Romanov?" Raymond asked,  his pen already poised on the page of his open notepad on his lap and I smiled , I could already see him jotting down whatever I said.

I shifted slightly in the chair I was seated in and felt the band of her bracelet pressing into my thigh through the pocket of my pants . Sitting up straight,  I looked him directly in his eyes as I spoke ,

" oh I did , looks like God was waiting to give me my blessing , it was a rather rewarding service ". He nodded slowly and I could mentally picture the screws turning inside his mind as he thought over what I said .

" so if am understanding you enjoyed the service ?"

" yeh man, even plan fi guh back this Sunday " I said grinning .

" it must have been quite a lovely one to have you in such high spirits.  Maybe I should visit" he said watching me but, I kept my smile in place not revealing anything.

Here is the thing, I already knew all the tricks in his book and in his field of practice, so I knew that he was saying that to see whether or not I would be affected with him visiting the church or not but, frankly mi neva give a fuck suh long as him nuh even breathe inna har direction much less har presence. She was mine to break , mine to take , mine to destroy , all fucking mine.

" do you think going there has helped you to reflect on your past in any way ? Has it helped ?"

I thought about that. Maybe if I had actually focused on the healing,  miracle part of the service I would have left a changed man and I almost laughed at that,  fucking hypocrite dem , church people wid dem bawling and screaming .

Don't get me wrong I have nothing against God nor Christianity but, I have seen enough to know most of what went on is utter and complete fuckry.  Maybe i missed out on the healing of the soul that was being offered but, how could I focused on that when,  Моя кукла (Moya kukla) – "My doll" was looking at me with so much fear in those innocent pure eyes ?

Even now the whole scene continued to replay inside my mind as it did every night of every day since that Sunday morning.  The intense feeling of her eyes on me and the fear and curiosity inside them once my eyes found hers across the aisle.

I enjoyed the look of pure raw unfiltered fear that I saw in those eyes and I needed to see that fear up close , I wanted to see it not just in her eyes but, in her body, to feel it radiating from her just by looking at her , I wanted the fear to come from her very soul so much so that it leaves her shaking and I wanted to be the one , the only one who ignites that fear .

" Mr.Romanov , the question?"

" my past is ok where it is Raymond" i replied and he exhaled.

The session ended soon after and once inside my car , I removed the bracelet from my pocket and traced my finger over the engraving of her name , engraved in the gold band .

Has she already discovered it's absence?

Was she now wondering where it was ?

I smiled as I went back over the details of that night and our little secret . What was her reaction to having discovered my art around her ankle ? Was she fascinated?

I could imagine the shock of waking up to my art and the questions going through her mind as she stared at it . Did she feel repulsed? I gripped the bracelet tightly it my hand , had she washed away my gift immediately? Did she even think about the one who may have crafted it ? Had she even thought about me even once since our introduction that Sunday morning?

I exhaled to calm the anger growing in the pit of my stomach and flowing throughout my body . Replacing the bracelet in my pocket  , I started my car .

Eh good if she nuh remembah , cause mi have nuff time and even if she try fi figet bout mi and har , mi aguh show har how fucking serious mi be.

Sunday came and I decided to go to church, after all I had a reason to go and besides as Raymond suggested it would be good for my past. This time when I arrived i sat down on the same side she did , two rows behind her .

She hadn't seen me yet, but, from the moment i entered my eyes found her sitting on the left side in the first row at the front , close to the altar , the exact place I would expect to find her after all , she was the daughter of the  leaders of the  church .

The serviced progressed and all throughout I kept my eyes on her ,studying her . She stood whenever it was required and clapped on occasion,  it was as if she was programmed to do these acts so dutifully, so obediently.

I noticed how she smiled and occasionally said something to a next girl who was seated beside her and I quickly noted that they must be close . Today her hair was done in a half up , half down and the white dress she wore only made her aura more holy and pure .

That was what intrigued me, she was just so pure , so full of light and life , like she didn't belonged on this fucked up place we called earth , and something inside me wanted to eradicate that light,  that purity and replaced it with darkness , I just wanted to break her , to make her feel .

At the end of the service , she went up like she did the last time and when she had taken her place up on the pulpit,  her eyes scanned over the congregation before finding mind and it was as if time froze .

I saw the instant recognition and then the fear but, there was something else , in the way her brows pulled together slightly in a frown , curiosity.  So she was intrigued? She wanted to know who I was?

I kept my eyes locked on hers not breaking contact and it eventually became too much for her , because she looked away and gave a small smile as she greeted the congregation.  After she was done with the announcements, the serviced was finished and members of the church filed out of the building one after the other .

I was about to leave as well when a female voiced said,

" hello , thank you for coming today. May I ask your name ?" and turning I smiled my signature charming smile as I shook the the hand of Mrs Tomlinson.

" Chris , Chris Richardson " I stated and she shook my hand .

" thank you for coming Chris hope to see you again next Sunday " and then she moved on to speak to another member and looking towards the altar I saw Моя кукла (Moya kukla) – "My doll" standing and talking to a guy .

He was speaking to her but, her eyes were on me and I gave her a slight smile before turning and leaving the church, making a mental note to take care of whosoever that guy was I saw talking to her , after all I didn't want her distracted, we had an understanding and she was mine .