If possible, he wished he didnât resemble his mother at all.
He lifted his hands and pressed them against his face, murmuring to himself, âI wonât forgive, I wonâtâ¦â
The person who had abandoned him, why should he forgive them?!
When he finished washing up and lay in bed, he closed his eyes but his mind kept dreaming about everything that had happened before.
He dreamed of following his mother around, often hearing her curse something. If he ever annoyed her, she would slap him or even punch and kick him.
Sometimes, his mother would suddenly become a different person and treat him kindly, like a good mother.
He couldnât understand why his mother would be nice to him one moment and then hate him the next.
Over time, he gradually stopped bothering his mother and just quietly tried to make her ignore his existence.
He no longer expects his mother to love him, he only hopes that she will stop hitting him.
He no longer tells his mother what he wants or what he likes. He only does what she asks him to do.
But even so, in the end, his mother still used him. She claimed that he was Sean Stevensâ child, just to use Sean to deal with Auntie Grace and the Reed family!
In his motherâs eyes, he was just a tool!
âDo you know that you are a burden? A burden! Why did I give birth to such a burden like you?!â His motherâs voice kept ringing in his ears, making him feel like even breathing was difficult.
âSomeone like you, nobody will want you if you leave me!â
âYou have to listen to me, if I die, you wonât be able to survive!â
These threatening and angry words came at him like a tidal wave from all directions, trying to completely engulf him.
Noâ¦please donât say that anymore. He will survive! He is not a burden, heâs not!
âAh!â William suddenly opened his eyes and saw the bright light in the room.
Did he just have a nightmare? But he remembers turning off the lights before going to bed, so why are they on now?
âWilliam, whatâs wrong?â Jasperâs voice rings in his ear, and then that familiar face comes into view.
William stares at Jasper, then exhales deeply. âIâ¦Iâm fine.â
âWhat kind of nightmare did you have? Youâre sweating a lot,â Jasper says, wiping the sweat from Williamâs forehead.
âIâ¦â He grabs her hand, feeling her warmth, which cases the suffocating feeling from his dream. âI just dreamed of scenes from my childhood, where my mother kept saying that I was just a burden.â
The shameful things that are difficult to mention to others, he can only truly speak out when facing her.
âShe always felt that giving birth to me was not by choice, because at first she didnât even realize she was pregnant. By the time she found out, it was too late to have an abortion at a regular hospital, where she would have had to provide detailed information. On the other hand, a black market hospital would have required a large sum of money for the procedure, which she couldnât afford. Therefore, in the end, she had no choice but to give birth to me in a small clinic.â
William murmured, âTo her, I am a burden, someone who shouldnât exist, someone beyond her plans!â