Chapter 242

Chapter 242 Book 3 Chapter 77 ~DANTE~

I rush into my room, hoping to find something, anything that could help me find Willow. Maybe she went somewhere to cool her mind. But that wasn’t like her. She never went places by herself. She never left without anyone knowing where she was.

I rush over to the desk, and my eyes fall on a small object that makes my insides churn uncomfortably.

Her ring. She took it off.

I picked it up into my hand and held onto it tightly. This wasn’t f*****g happening. She wouldn’t leave me. Willow would never leave me. She promised to fight for this marriage. She promised me that she wouldn’t give up on me.

Her diary was next to it. I accused her once of writing spells in there. I gently took it into my hands and sat on the edge of the bed. I had to be seated for this. My knees felt weak.

I didn’t know where Willow went, but the fact that she left her ring meant that she wasn’t planning on coming back.

I take another look at her diary.

If she left it here, she must have wanted me to read it.

Please let there be something inside here to lead me to her.

The first three words hit my heart.

My dearest husband.

Her entire diary, was filled with letters to me. I swallow hard and f****d myself to keep reading even though my heart was begging me to stop.

Today you held me in your arms while I was unconscious. You were the first person I saw after waking up. Your eyes were filled with concern I’ve never seen before. My heart flutters whenever I’m reminded of how worried you were about me. I wish that one day I could tell you how I truly feel. I wish that one day I would feel your lips on mine...

f**k.

Reading this made me feel a hundred times worse.

I turned the page and held my breath. I couldn’t stop reading. Every word of hers felt like a f*****g d**g I couldn’t get enough of. I was holding onto each word, hoping it would bring her closer to me.

You kissed me for the first time. You’ve done the one thing I’ve been dreaming about since I married you. However, I felt hurt when you said my sister’s name. You were thinking of her the entire time. I do not blame you; I know you love her, and our marriage was f****d onto you. Still, my heart doesn’t know how to forget your lips on mine. And I don’t think it’s possible ever to forget.

I closed my eyes and tried to find the strength to continue. She’d wanted me to kiss her. And the first time that I did, I was thinking of Anya. What the f**k was wrong with me?

Today I’m sorry. I’m sorry for asking for something you weren’t ready to give me. I’m sorry for telling you I think I’m in love with you. I’m sorry for making everything so much harder for you. I’m sorry you were f****d to marry me by my sister. I’m sorry you were f****d to do a ritual that may or may not guarantee a long marriage to me. I’m not sorry for the feelings in my heart. I’m not sorry for loving someone like you. I’m not sorry that even though my sister didn’t love you, I still do. I’m not sorry that I got to experience such pleasures with your tongue. I’m not sorry that my taste is still in your mouth. I’m not sorry that I’ll go to sleep smelling like you tonight. I’m not sorry that I’ll dream of today for the rest of my life.

I closed the book and moved it to the side of me. I couldn’t keep reading. The guilt inside of me was increasing with each page that I turned. I never wanted to hurt Willow. I always wanted to protect her. I married her too quickly. I should have healed from losing Anya before I made her my wife. I married her because of Anya, but I stayed married only because of her.

All of this happened because I couldn’t just be a f*****g man. All I had to do was push my past behind me and focus on my present life with Willow.

Unlike Anya, Willow loved me with all her heart. She’d given me a life I couldn’t even dream of having with her sister. And now, she’d taken that life with her. Without her, I was left with nothing but f*****g pain.

I had to get her back. I had to find her and apologize. I had to tell her that even though I loved Anya, she was in the past. I had to promise her that I wouldn’t ever put her sister above her ever again. I had to beg her to give me one last chance.

This time I wouldn’t f*****g mess it up. I would love her the way she deserved to be loved.

I grabbed the diary once more. If I wanted to find her, I had to keep reading. I had to hope that there was something in here to help me.

I kept reading until I reached the last page. I could feel my heartbeat increase with each new word.

If you ever read this, please know that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. The happiest moments of my life were spent with you.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek, it was a reflection of what I felt inside. I was slowly slipping into depression.

I held her diary to my chest; nothing here could lead me to her. She’d left me, and I had no clue where to start searching.

Why did I do this? Why did I ruin the one good thing in my life?

“Did she leave behind anything?” Atticus asks as he rushes in with Autumn behind him.

“She’s gone,” I say with no emotion. I was about to lose my composure.

Everything was taking its slow time to sink in. I knew the second it did; I wouldn’t be able to hold back my emotions.

“What do you mean gone?” Autumn demands.

“She left her ring behind,” I say. “She heard a stupid conversation I had with Atticus earlier. I said some things that I didn’t mean.

I was in shock. I was thinking about Anya. . .”

I couldn’t finish my sentence.

“She’s gone,” I whisper in disbelief.

“We will find her,” Atticus promises me. “She couldn’t have gone far.”

She’s gone.

Willow’s gone.

She left me.

What was this excruciating pain in my heart? I clutched my chest and stayed completely still.

It hurt.

It f*****g hurt so much.