Chapter 42

The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn Chapter 42 ~ATTICUS~

Was this what it felt like to go into complete shock? Many things in my life have surprised me, but hearing Autumn say to me that she’d loved me all along has made my entire body numb from shock.

She loved me?

Autumn loved me? And she’s loved me for years?

My mind is racing with all of the things she’s mentioned to me. She saw me first; she fell for me. She wanted me before Anya even did. How did I not know any of this? How could I have been so blind?

Since the beginning, I thought Autumn didn’t have any feelings at all for me. When we got married, I felt that my actions wouldn’t have hurt her because neither of us had feelings for each other. Now that I knew she loved me for so long, I understood the pain I’d put her through. I understood the damage I’d done without even realizing it.

I’ve been breaking her heart for years without even knowing it. I covered my face with my hand as I tried to come to terms with everything. I was unable to move, my body felt like it was glued to the bed. Nothing has ever managed to stun me as much as this had.

She wanted to marry me from the beginning. She’s dreamt of having a family with me. Autumn loved me this entire time, me, and only me. She didn’t want anyone else but me. I was the one that she wanted. So then, why had she flirted with Tyler? It was the first time I’d ever seen her flirt like that with anyone but me. It was something I never wanted to have to see again. My heart couldn’t handle seeing Autumn be with another man but me.

Damn it.

She loved me.

What the f**k?

What was wrong with me?

Why did I do so many things to hurt her? Why did I put Anya above her so many times? I knew she had to come first, even before finding out she was in love with me, and yet I didn’t treat her the way she had to be treated.

Was there any word to describe me?

I’ve been a complete ass; why did she even love someone like me? I did not deserve her love. I never deserved her love.

I knew that I had to go after her; I knew that I had to say something, anything. She’d run out of here crying, and I’d done nothing to stop her because of how much her words had affected me.

But what could I say to her? She made it clear that she was not ready to accept me after what I’d done. I’d hurt her so much that she’d built a wall around her heart.

I couldn’t just beg for her forgiveness. I had to show her that I had changed. I had to show her that she was the most important person in my life.

It was the truth. She was the most important person to me. I’ve never taken the time to think about my feelings toward her, but it was forced out of me today. I’ve been avoiding thinking about it, but I couldn’t deny it any longer.

Autumn saved me today. I don’t know how she did it, but she was brave and fierce as she stood in front of me while she challenged not one but six f*****g beasts.

I’d snapped, but not because I wasn’t proud of her, but because I was terrified of seeing her get hurt for me. The entire time on the ground, I felt like a useless ass; I couldn’t even fight to protect her. She had to protect me.

It should never have come to that. I should have been able to bring Carter and his team to the ground for her.

I was so scared when her wolf lunged in front of me. I was terrified that they would hurt her. I’d never been so scared over something in my entire life.

She terrified me. Autumn and her feelings and how she made me feel it all scared me. I wasn’t prepared for her; I wasn’t prepared for her confession, either. She was correct; I was the one who’d asked her to tell me the truth but not once did I think her response would have been that she loved me or that she loved me from the very beginning.

Her words kept replaying in my head. The more she’d spoken, the worse I felt. There were so many mistakes that I’ve made since we got married. So many mistakes could have been avoided if I’d just taken the time to see what my actions were doing to her.

She even brought up what happened between us at the spring. She remembered everything. Every single detail even though she had been drunk when it all happened.

How could she think I didn’t want to touch her in the spring? I was f*****g dying inside to feel her body against mine. To savor every taste of her, to fill her with my seed. I wanted every part of her that night; I wanted it all, even last night when she teased me in that tiny lingerie. It took all of my self-control not to take her right there on the bed.

I didn’t do it not because I didn’t want her, but because I felt like I didn’t deserve that sacred part of her. I felt like she needed to trust me enough before she gave that part of herself to me. I wanted to cherish her the right way before I allowed myself to take any more of her.

Autumn had misunderstood everything. And it was understandable after the voice note Anya had sent to her. And maybe that was Anya’s intention from the start. She wanted Autumn to think that I didn’t care for her. I was stupid when I said those things to her; I was foolish when I made promises I knew I could never keep.

Now it was up to me to show Autumn how much I truly desired her. To prove to her that all those things I promised Anya in the voice note were a mistake and something I would never do to her.

She had to know how much I truly craved her. I hadn’t exactly hidden my desire for her. Every time I was near her, I lost all control. I could see the vision I still had of Autumn spreading her legs for me on the edge of the spring, teasing me, making me die inside for her. Did she not see the pain and torture on my face? I wanted her so much that it f*****g hurt. I hadn’t been able to sleep peacefully since that night; every night, I would ache to be inside her. Every night I would deny myself the pleasure of touching her because I thought that she wasn’t ready. If I’d known not touching her would have made her feel less desired, I would have taken her right then in the damn f*****g spring. I would have had her in every possible way.

If she had a chance to read my thoughts, Autumn would understand the pain she put me through. She would know that Anya had nothing to do with me not touching her on those separate occasions. I was only thinking about her; I was only doing what I thought was best for her.

How could I not see how much I’d been hurting her all along? Now that I knew the truth, there were so many things I wish I had done differently. There were so many ways I could have shown her how much she meant to me.

If I’d shown my raw emotions to her, if I didn’t try to stop my feelings for her, things wouldn’t have been like this between us. She wouldn’t have had to doubt me as much as she did now.

Damn it, Atticus. What the f**k did you do? Why? Why did you hurt her so much? I felt like punching the walls. I felt like doing anything to inflict pain upon myself for everything I’d put her through.

The door opens then, and I see my family walking in with worried expressions. I can’t pay attention to any of them right now.

Autumn is the only person on my mind.

She’s been through so much, and she’s kept it to herself this entire time. She’s been tortured all this time, and she chose to bottle everything up inside of her.

I closed my eyes as the realization of what I’d put her through finally sunk in.

I’d been a fool this entire time. How could I have mistreated someone that loved me so much? Autumn loved me more than anyone, and I didn’t even know it until now. How long was she planning on keeping this to herself? She wouldn’t have told me if I hadn’t pulled it out of her. If I hadn’t insisted on her giving me an answer, I would have never known how much Autumn loved me.

“Did something happen?” Clarissa asks me. “Autumn left crying. Did you say something to her?”

I couldn’t answer her. I was still lost in my thoughts of her. I couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been not to notice how much she loved me. All of the signs were always there; I just chose to ignore them. Autumn wasn’t good at hiding her feelings, but I wasn’t any better at picking up on them.

She was like an open book, and I chose not to read it. I’ve never been this disappointed in myself as I feel now.

“Son,” my mother whispers. “Is everything okay between you and Autumn? Should we get her?”

“I don’t think that is necessary.” Anya cuts in. “She didn’t even care enough to be here while he was lying in this hospital bed.

She went home to look for clothes. Who does that when their husband is in so much pain? Atticus was right to put her in her place. She needs to give him some space and let him spend them with the people that actually care for him.”

“Anya,” Damon growls in a warning. For once, he’d stepped up to her. Even he realizes that she’d just crossed a very big line.

“What?” She asks. “It’s the truth. Autumn does not care for Atticus. She’s selfish and only cares for herself. Look at the way we found him on the side of the road, but there wasn’t a single scratch on her. It shows that she didn’t care enough to fight back against the fearsome.”

“Don’t f*****g talk about my wife like that!” I roar.

Anya’s eyes widened at my words. She looked startled that I’d spoken to her in that tone. I’ve never once spoken to her like that before. But she’d asked for it. She had no right speaking about Autumn like that. She didn’t know anything. She knew nothing about Autumn and the type of person that she was.

“Atticus.” She gasps. “I’m only trying to protect you. Why are you defending her when she doesn’t care about you? I can see it;

I’m sure everyone else can too.”

“Stop it,” I growl. “You know nothing.”

“Then please explain why you believe she cares for you.” She huffs.

“Were you there when Carter and the other boys came to attack me?” I ask her. “Did you see the entire fight to make a foolish comment like that?”

“No.” She says stubbornly. “But I can tell from your injuries while she has none.”

My jaw clenches, and I grab the sheets below me in a rage, “she’s the reason why my injuries aren’t worse than it is now. She’s the reason why I’m awake right now. Autumn is the only reason, no one else. She protected me from the fearsome.”

“You expect me to believe that she protected you?” Anya asks in disbelief.

“What do you mean she protected you?” My father asks. “Autumn is not as strong as them. How could she have protected you.”

How did I explain it without telling them what I saw? I wasn’t sure what had happened; all I remembered was being beaten on the ground when suddenly everyone flew in all different directions. When I looked over at her, her eyes were a different color.

Powerful and glowing.

I didn’t think even Autumn understood what was happening to her. Something was going on; now I realized that tasting something strange in her blood wasn’t coincidental. Autumn was not a regular werewolf. She was a hybrid.

The power that she held was mighty. And it almost seemed like she had no control over it. There were many times that I saw her struggling to control it. Like the dinner with my family, I knew she was responsible for the incident. She was the one that had splashed all the soup and water over Anya, and now I understood why. She was in love with me; seeing how Anya acted around me must have pissed her off to the extent that she lost control of herself.

But why did her power only show itself now? Why did it take so long to reveal itself?

I wanted to explain what happened to everyone present, but I knew that Autumn wasn’t ready to reveal the truth.

My parents weren’t the most understanding either. They would feel betrayed that her parents never told her she was a hybrid.

They didn’t like secrets and were likely to fuss over them. I didn’t want that to happen. I had to protect Autumn even from my parents. When we had an explanation for what was happening to her, only then would I find a way to tell everyone. Until then, it would stay a secret for Autumn’s protection.

But I wasn’t the only one who’d seen what had happened. Carter and his friends had seen everything as well. But I knew them;

they would feel embarrassed that a girl had kicked their asses. Because of that, they would not dare tell anyone what had happened. She was safe for now. I’m sure they weren’t even sure that they’d seen correctly. No one would say anything unless they were convinced that Autumn had magic inside of her.

“Atticus.” My mother reminds me that they’re all waiting for me to explain.

“Autumn shielded me with her body.” I finally say. “The fearsome could have attacked her, but she didn’t care about her own life;

she was only concerned with protecting mine. They chose to leave us because they didn’t want to hurt her. She wasn’t backing down. I watched her stand in front of me with so much bravery and strength that it filled me with pride to know she was my wife.

She didn’t have to do it, but Autumn protected me without caring about herself.”

Everyone is shocked to learn this new detail from the fight. From their expressions, she hadn’t even told them everything that had happened. Even though she’d risked her life for me, she didn’t even bother boasting about her heroic behavior to my family.

Autumn was an amazing woman, unlike any other woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. And I was f*****g lucky that she was my wife. I was even more fortunate that she loved me so much. I was a lucky man, and it took me this long to realize it.

“I can’t believe she risked her life for you.” My mother whispers. “We have to thank her.”

“I always knew Autumn was an amazing person,” Clarissa says. “Aren’t we lucky to have her in our lives?”

“If you ever speak about my wife like that again in front of me, I will ensure that you never step foot in our house again,” I warn Anya.

“Atticus.” She gasps.

“I did not marry you, Anya. It’s time you face the facts. I chose to marry Autumn. She’s the woman that I chose to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve been neglecting her because of you. I’ve been running to protect you instead of protecting her. All of that ends now. You had enough time to come to terms with my marriage. If you can’t accept it and if you can’t respect my wife, you need to stay away from the both of us.”

She doesn’t say anything; she stares at me in horror. I was done caring for her. Now it was time for me to fulfill my duty towards Autumn.

I would not hurt her anymore. I would treat her the way she deserved to be treated from the start. Everything was about to change now. Everything.