Chapter 45

The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn Chapter 45 My heart felt like it had just gotten the shock of its life. What exactly was Atticus asking from me?

Let him love me? There were so many different possible meanings to that sentence. I was breathing hard, and I knew that he could hear it. He could even feel it with how close he was to me. And I think that he loved the way my body reacted to him.

“I’m not asking you to let me touch you tonight.” He whispers as if reading my mind. “I’m asking for a chance to let me prove to you that I’m different now. I’m asking for a chance to prove that you’re the most important woman in my life—no one else. I know I can’t just say words and expect you to believe them, but please, give me this one chance. I can’t function knowing you’ve given up on me, Autumn. I need to know that there is still time to fix things between us. After everything you’ve been through, this may be asking too much of you, but please, give me this chance.”

My heart was practically jumping in my chest. I wanted to scold myself for getting so excited and happy over his words. I didn’t want to allow him back into my heart that easily. I wanted to give myself time to forgive him for everything he’d done. I wanted time to forgive him for his promises to Anya on our wedding day. I wanted time to forgive him for leaving me to go to her multiple times.

Many things still broke my heart every time I remembered them. It wouldn’t be easy for me to simply forget about it. I needed the chance to heal from all of it. And I think Atticus understood that. That’s why he was being so gentle with me.

I loved him. And because I loved him, I was willing to give him one more chance to prove that everything he said to me was true.

“Okay,” I whisper. “You have one chance, Atticus. One chance only.”

He breathes a sigh of relief, and his happiness gives me life.

“Can I continue to hold you like this for the rest of the night?” He pleads.

I swallow; I loved having him this close to me. It made me act stupidly but would it be so bad to allow him to hold me just for one night?

No.

This was for me; I was doing it for me, not for him. For my pleasure.

“You can.” I finally answer.

I held my breath as his hand slid over my waist and pulled my body tighter against his. His face was now snuggled against my neck, and his hot breath tickled my skin.

I’ve never wanted to be held this way by anyone but Atticus. It felt so good to be in his arms. I never wanted to lose this. I always wanted to be here, right next to him.

We spend the rest of the night wrapped in each other’s arms. It was the best sleep I’d gotten in my entire life. It was something I could look forward to every night for the rest of my life.

Our ride to school the next day was a quiet one. Atticus didn’t have anything to say to me. And I didn’t say anything to him either.

Surprisingly, when we arrived, Damon and Clarissa had come alone. Anya was not in the vehicle with them. It was very rare for her not to show up for the academy. Where could she be?

Our first classes had been rushed, and it seemed like Atticus was uneasy about something for the entire day. He looked like he was anxious, and it bothered me. The first thing on my mind was whether or not he was bothered that Anya hadn’t shown up for class today.

I want to believe that he has changed, but I didn’t think anyone could change their old habits in one day.

Dante wasn’t here either. It was only the four of us as we walked into the cafeteria. Damon and Atticus excused themselves to get some food for Clarissa and me, and we watched them leave. As soon as they’re a reasonable distance away from us, Clarissa turns to me with a massive grin.

“I need to tell you what happened in the hospital while you were gone.” She says while clapping her hands in excitement. It must have been really good for her to be this happy. Did it have something to do with Damon? But she’s never confided in me, so it had to be something concerning Anya.

“What happened?” I ask; I knew I didn’t have to worry about it being anything I didn’t want to hear since Clarissa was telling the story.

“After you left the room crying, Anya started saying horrible stuff about you. She said that you didn’t care about Atticus and weren’t even there while he was healing in the hospital bed. Then she mentioned that it was clear that you didn’t help him when Carter and the team attacked him, she claimed that was why he was so severely beaten, and you didn’t have a single scratch on you.”

I dug my nails into my jeans at her comment. I knew she would have done something like that. I didn’t expect anything else from her. Anya was always looking for ways to drag me to the ground.

“But Atticus surprised everyone when he told her to watch her mouth.” She says, surprising me.

“He did?”

She nods, “his exact words were, ‘don’t f*****g talk about my wife like that’. Everyone was stunned, speechless that he’d spoken to Anya like that. I’ve never heard anyone in my life ever speak to her that way before, and to know that it came from Atticus, was even more mind-blowing.”

I couldn’t believe Atticus had stood up for me like that. I was so scared that confessing my love would push him away from me, but it had done the exact opposite. But still, I didn’t want to forgive him just yet. I needed more. I needed him to prove that he wanted our marriage to work. But he was heading in the right direction.

“That’s not all. He also told her that he would prevent her from coming to our home if she disrespected you.” She continues. “And that you’re the one he married, you’re the one he chose to spend the rest of his life with. I was blown away. I’ve never seen Anya so shocked and upset before. No one has ever put her in her place like he did yesterday, and I’m proud of him. It took him too long to do it, but at least he finally did it. If only Damon and Dante could do the same now, life would be wonderful.”

He did all of that for me? Why? Why did Atticus suddenly change? He was acting like a different person, and I wasn’t sure if I could allow myself to fall anymore for him. I was happy to see this change, but it was so soon that it was hard to believe that he felt something for me in such a short time.

It felt more like he felt guilty for all I went through. He wasn’t to blame for my heartache in the beginning; he never knew I was in love with him, and it only became a problem when we got married. It was then that I expected more from him as his wife.

“Did you hear what happened at the game last night?” she asks. “I couldn’t believe what I’d heard. That score is the worst in our history. Carter has never misplayed before. I instantly thought of yesterday. They deserved it for what they did to Atticus.”

I stiffen at her words. She didn’t know that I had been there, and she also didn’t realize that I was the reason they had lost the game, to begin with.

I didn’t regret my decision. I was happy that I had gotten some revenge against them. In my eyes, this would have hurt them more than someone taking a piece of iron and beating them with it. The entire academy was pissed at the fearsome. They were accustomed to a good game. Everyone had turned against them in one night.

I knew they would make it up on the next game, and everyone would forget about today eventually, but I was still happy to see the result of my actions. They deserved this. They earned the hate.

“Where is Atticus?” I ask her when I don’t notice him at the cafeteria.

“He asked me to keep you distracted for five minutes.” She confessed.

“Distracted?” I ask. “For what?”

She smiles, “you’ll see.”

She takes my hand and pulls me forward along with her.

“Where are we going?” I ask.

“To the school’s ballroom.” She tells me as we keep walking until we’re in front of the large wooden door that leads to the ballroom.

“Aren’t you coming with me?” I asked her as I pushed the door open but noticed that she was staying behind.

“This is a special moment between you and Atticus.” She tells me. “I don’t want to mess it up.”

She was confusing me, but she sparked my curiosity. I push the door open, and I’m faced with the shock of my life.

The room is filled with red balloons and roses, and I mean filled. I could barely walk into the room because of how packed it was.

My eyes widen when I see pictures of Atticus and me on our wedding day hanging all over the walls. There were also pictures our mothers had forced us to take when we agreed to marry each other. He had every picture of us ever taken inside of here.

I held my breath; my heart was aching but in a good way. I never thought Atticus would ever do things like this for me in this life, but here he was, making my dreams of him come true.

And then I see him walking towards me, through the balloons and roses he’d gathered just for me. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing inches away from me.

“I don’t know where to start,” he whispers. “I don’t know how to ask for your forgiveness. I’ve been so oblivious to your feelings. It makes me angry with myself that I didn’t notice it sooner. I hate that you had to tell me first for me to realize all of the pain I’ve been putting you through. Autumn, if I had even the slightest clue of what you were feeling, I know I would have done things differently since the beginning.”

I want to lean forward and kiss his lips. I know it’s the last thing I should be thinking about, but I desperately want to be close to him.

He takes one last step towards me and gently touches my cheek, “I’m so sorry for every tear that I’ve ever made you shed. I’m so sorry for being so dumb all these years. I’m so sorry for being even dumber after we got married. I’ve never met another woman like you, Autumn. Your innocence, your kindness, your precious heart, you’re the first woman I’ve met that has qualities that are so perfect. You were hurting for so long, and yet you never turned against me; I didn’t deserve your love, but still, you loved me; I didn’t deserve your protection, but still, you protected me with your life.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

He lightly traced my lips with his finger, “you don’t have to say anything, Autumn. You’ve said and done enough. Now it’s my turn to show you how much you mean to me. It’s my turn to put in the work in our marriage. I’m not going to disappoint you this time. I promise that I’ll do everything in my power to make you forgive me, to make you trust me. I’ll make you feel so safe and loved that you’ll never have to worry because of your love for me.”

I smile even though I try to hold it back. It felt good to see him try this much for us, for me. This was all I’ve ever wanted.

I was filled with joy, and Atticus looked happy to see that his plans were working.

For the rest of the day, I smiled from ear to ear, remembering how sweet he was to me.

When we got home, Atticus was back to being quiet, making me wonder if he had more plans up his sleeve. He made it clear that he would try his best to get me to trust him again.

I felt this sudden urge to surprise him as well. There was one thing that still bothered me, and that was him keeping his promise to Anya about not sleeping with me. I wanted to know if he would finally complete the bond between us if I pushed for it. I wanted to know if Atticus truly desired me. He never explained that night. He heard me talk about it, but he never tried to defend what he did.

I grab one of my sexiest lingerie and quickly put it onto my body.

Atticus was lying on the bed when I came out with a white thong and a matching bra piece. I know the moment that he sees it because of the way his breath hitches.

So far, so good.

“What are you doing, Autumn?” He demanded when I seductively climbed on top of him.

His hands are trembling when he grabs my waist and tries to lift me off him. I pressed harder on him, and he hissed as our most intimate parts grazed each other.

“Autumn.” He growls. “Please get off me.”

I shook my head. “I want you.”

He freezes at my confession, and I swear his body shivered beneath mine. He closes his eyes in pain, and with more force than before, he lifts me off him and places me on my side of the bed.

“I’m not touching you when you haven’t forgiven me, Autumn.” He says as he keeps me away from him. “I want to know that you trust me when I get that part of you.”

“You expect me to believe that you desire me when you refuse to give me what I want while I’m dressed like this?” I ask.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why I’m pushing for this so much. I knew I was becoming uncontrollable, but this took things too far.

“If he desires me, let my heart see; if he desires me, let him show me.”

What the hell was I whispering? Was that another spell? I can’t control myself as I start to repeat his name.

His eyes widen as he realizes what is happening, and he tries to walk out of the room before I can complete the spell. His hand was on the doorknob when I said his name the third time.

He pauses, and at that moment, I feel the atmosphere change.

The Atticus that turns around to look at me looks like an uncontrollable beast ready to take what he wants.

He takes long strides toward me, and I squirm when he grabs my waist and lifts my legs, so I am straddling him. He’s growling as his mouth is on my neck. He isn’t kissing or sucking or doing anything at all, yet I’m already wet between the legs.

“Can you not feel my desire for you?” He growls as he shoves his hard d**k against me. I can feel it throbbing against my stomach, and I gasp. He wasn’t even naked, yet I could feel how big and hard it was.

“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any other woman in my life, Autumn.” He growls. “I ache for you every damn second of every f*****g day. Do you know what it’s like to want someone so badly and know that you can’t have them because of how stupid you’ve acted towards them?”

I gasped when he gripped my ass and slid my body up and down his; I could feel his d**k as he continued with the motion, making me wetter.

“I can smell your desire.” He says as he inhales my scent. “You smell so good; every single day, the scent of you drives me insane.”

He groaned as I continued with the motion, grinding against him. I wanted him. I wanted to feel him inside of me. I’ve waited long enough for this. I was dying to have us joined, finally, in every way possible.

“It hurts.” He says in a hoarse whisper. “It hurts how much I want you. No one should desire someone as much as I desire you.

You’re too good for me. You’re too good for me, Autumn. You think that I don’t desire you, but if you could read my mind, you’ll be able to see how badly I crave you. It’s not healthy; my need for you is the most unhealthy habit I’ve ever had.”

I pulled his head towards me to touch our lips together. He sucks on my lower lip but only for a second before pulling away.

“I don’t want to rush this.” He whispers. “I want to savor every second I get to be with you tonight. I want to remember every touch and every taste for the rest of my life. I want the image of your body in my mind. I want to know every scar, every mole, every mark on your body; I want to remember it all.”

He lowers his head, so his lips are buried in my neck. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to savor every second of tonight. He was slow and torturous as he kissed every inch of my neck.

He lingers on his mark on me, and I know that’s his favorite part. The mark he left on me. He loves that he’s the one that left it there.

His hands travel down my body, moving it up and down the sides.

“Do you know how happy it makes me know that I’m the only one you’ve loved all this time, Autumn?” He asks. “Do you even understand what that means to me? I had the most amazing woman loving me for years, and I didn’t know it. I wish you had told me sooner. I wish I had known. There is no way I would have ever been able to say no to you.”

I gasped when one of his hands traveled up my bare leg and inches closer to the part of me that was aching for him to touch me.

He stops halfway and touches his lips to mine. He eases me into the kiss until I feel like I’m floating on cloud nine. It’s the best feeling in the world, being kissed like this by Atticus.

“Your lips are the softest I’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting.” He growls. “And the taste of you. How the f**k have I not taken you sooner? How the f**k have I not known how kissable these lips are just by looking at them?”

His mouth is on my chest now, he’s kissing his way from left to right, and my body arched against his. I want to be closer to him. I want to be as close as our bodies will let us be.

My hand travels down his face, to his neck, and down his chest. I’m ripping his shirt off his body aggressively, I’ve wanted him like this for so long, and I was happy that I finally had him. I didn’t care that it was a spell; I didn’t care because this was his genuine desire for me; this is what he’s been hiding from me. I wanted this. I wasn’t denying myself having him like this tonight.

I’ve wanted Atticus for so long. Was it so wrong of me to take all that I could get? Something kept telling me that I wouldn’t always have him this close to me. Something was messing with my mind, screaming for me to run, I didn’t know what it was, but I sensed danger.

Before anything happened to us, I wanted him this close to me. I was scared of our future. I was terrified of losing him.

I held him tightly as he continued to shower my body with his kisses. He pulled the lingerie down my body with his teeth slowly, his nose making a soft trail down my body as he did it. Atticus knew how to make me crave him even more. My body shivered with the need for him inside of me.

He stops when he’s right in front of my p***y, he doesn’t take the thong entirely off my body. Instead, he leans closer and licks my most intimate spot through the cloth. Atticus growls against my p***y, “you taste too f*****g good, Autumn. I would f*****g kill for your pussy.”

I gasp at his words. How does he know exactly what to say to make me wetter for him?

“I want you to know that night in the spring; I was dying to be inside you.” He says before pausing to take another long swipe of his tongue. I tremble in his hands. He was teasing me, giving me only a little at a time. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing; I didn’t think I could handle any more than this. I was already writhing and aching for him.

“You thought that I didn’t want to touch you because of a stupid promise I made. A promise that I regretted making for every second of each day that I had to watch your beautiful body walk in front of me. You thought I was fulfilling that promise when I refused to touch you. You don’t even know how wrong you were.”

Was I wrong about that? So then, why hadn’t he taken what I gave him that night?

I gasped when he pushed the lingerie to the side and dragged his finger around my p***y, still teasing me. He knew that I wanted him to touch me there, but he kept on prolonging it.

“I wanted you so f*****g much that night.” He whispers as he buries his face in the one place that was crying for his attention. I gasped and held onto his head. Atticus inhaled deeply.

“f**k f**k f**k!” He growls. “You smell f*****g amazing.”

“And so wet for me. I love knowing that you want me too, Autumn.”

“Atticus.” I moan as his finger slips inside of me. He pauses for a few seconds before pulling out and dragging the lingerie down.

I fall against his body, and he holds me tightly against him as he pushes his finger into me once more. I cry out at the pleasure it gave me.

“How could you ever think I don’t desire you, Autumn?” He whispers. “How can I not desire a woman like you? Any man would be foolish not to want you. The only reason I refused to touch you in the spring was that you were drunk. I didn’t know if you would hate me for touching you inappropriately while intoxicated. I wanted to ensure that the first time I came inside of you, you were fully aware of what was happening.”

I wasn’t sure if I could believe him, and I think he sensed that. He pulls away from me, so he’s now standing face-to-face with me. He grabbed the back of my head and tilted my head back so that I was looking directly into his eyes, “look at me. I’m telling you the truth. I want you more than I’ve ever f*****g wanted anyone or anything in my entire life.”

And just like that, I knew that he was telling the truth. I knew that he meant every word he’d said to me tonight.

When he sensed I believed him, he grabbed my waist and pushed me up against the wall. I don’t have time to prepare as his mouth covers my p***y. I cry out in shock and pleasure as he begins to suck and lick there, slow and then faster.

I grab onto his hair and push him closer to me.

“Atticus.” I cry. “I want more. No. I need more. Please.”

“Look at me.” He commands.

My eyes, which were closed, are now open, and looking down at him. The sight of his mouth on my p***y almost sent me over the edge, and my legs were now trembling beneath me.

I gasp when he adds a finger while he continues to taste me. Our gazes were locked as he devoured every last bit of me. I’ve never felt this good before. Nothing compares to this. I always knew it would be amazing with Atticus, but this had exceeded my expectations.

“FUCK.” He growls. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Why was he apologizing? Was he going to say that this should have never happened?

“Why are you apologizing?” I ask.

“Because I can’t wait anymore. I need to be inside you before I f*****g combust into flames.”

I gasped as lifts himself so that his d**k was now pressed against my p***y. It’s positioned right where it needed to be, and all he had to do was to push forward a little.

But he wasn’t doing it; Atticus was utterly still like he wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do.

His forehead is pressed against mine, “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve to have you like this. You’re an angel, Autumn. And I’m a f*****g demon for what I’ve put you through.”

I gently touch his cheek, “I want to have you inside of me, Atticus. I’ve wanted you for so long. I want this.”

His eyes flashed with a dark desire at my words, and I knew I’d let the beast out. There was no going back after this. He wouldn’t be able to stop after this point, and I was okay with that; it was what I was hoping for.

He lifted me into his arms and gently placed me on the bed beneath him. He leaned down and touched our lips together, kissing me deeply. I broke the kiss as I felt him push forward; he covered my cry with his mouth as he slammed in. I expected pain, but all I felt was unbelievable pleasure. My entire body was trembling from how good it felt. It was almost too good to be true. It felt like a dream. There is no possibility that this was real life. Nothing should ever feel this good and addictive.

Atticus’s body shook above mine, and I could tell he was trying his best not to move.

“Autumn.” He groans. “Tell me if it hurts. Tell me if I should stop.”

I could hear the panic in his voice, and instead of making it easier on him, I wrapped my legs around his body, pulling him closer to me.

He hissed, “Oh FUCKK—”

And then Atticus began to move inside of me. Slow at first then pounding in and out of me without holding back. He was giving me everything that he had.My eyes rolled back in my head; this wasn’t simple pleasure; it was much more than that. There wasn’t a word in the world that could describe what I felt right now.

Atticus was taking me to a place I’d never been to before.

I cried out when he bit down hard on my mark while he increased his speed.

“ATTICUS!” I screamed as I neared the edge. “I love you. I love you so much.”

I didn’t mean to say it, but it slipped out, and it’s not like Atticus didn’t know how much I loved him by now.

My words must have done it for him because his entire body shook as my s*x squeezed him tightly. He buried his face in the crook of my neck as he pounded harder and faster into me, nearing his climax.

“s**t!” Atticus groaned. “You’re going to f*****g kill me.”

I increased my pace along with his, helping him; I wanted to see Atticus lose himself in me. Seeing that would make me so happy. I grab his face and look directly into his eyes. “Give me every part of you. I want it inside of me. I want it buried inside of me. Give me all.”

His eyes widened at my words, and I could see the last bit of control slipping from him as he gripped my waist tightly; there was a look of pain on his face as he finally gave in.

“FUCKKKK—,” he roars as his seed comes rushing out of him and into me in great waves. Atticus kept on releasing, over and over again. His body continued to tremble even more than before, and I held him close. I didn’t let go until he’d emptied every last drop inside of me.

We were finally joined in every way possible, and I couldn’t be happier. The only other thing that could make this entire night perfect is for Atticus to tell me that he loved me too.

It doesn’t look like he’s going to, however. I knew now that Atticus desired me, and I also knew that he cared for me, but I didn’t think that he loved me.

For now, I was at least happy to have him like this, to myself. I will remember this night for the rest of my life. Nothing would ever make me forget it. And I hoped that he never did either.