Chapter 61

The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn Chapter 61 ~AUTUMN~

I watch as Atticus carries bags of clothes my parents had just dropped off. They didn’t want to leave me with the Fawns, but since I insisted, they finally gave in. I understood that they felt I was unsafe now that the secret was out, but I was willing to take the risk if it meant I could be by Atticus’s side.

He didn’t stop pestering his parents until they’d gotten all the pictures of us back into the house. Within two hours, everything was the same way I remembered it before he’d lost his memory.

Of course, Atticus couldn’t remember what it looked like, but I did. I knew where every single picture of us was supposed to be.

I know that I didn’t have him completely back to me, but I was at least happy that I was one step closer. I was back home, near him, where I belonged.

I still hadn’t recovered from tonight; it felt like a dream. I was afraid I’d eventually wake up and realize that none of it was ever true.

I couldn’t believe that Atticus told Anya he didn’t love her. The look on her face was priceless. When did he realize that he was no longer in love with her? Had he known this even before the accident? If he did, why did he never tell me what he truly felt?

There were many times when I thought he was still in love with her and only her. If I’d known the truth, my heart would have been less tortured.

There were so many questions that I wanted to ask him, but I knew that he had plenty of questions for me as well. I wanted to give him a chance to ask me whatever he wanted.

He was pissed at everyone else for lying to him. I’d also lied to him. Did that mean that he was also angry with me? I didn’t want him to be. I never wanted to anger or hurt him.

His mother walks over to me, and I can see the regret in her eyes. It must be hard for her as well as his father. It would be hard for his entire family now that Atticus felt like he couldn’t trust them. As much as it hurt knowing that they removed me from their lives after I went missing, I knew why they did it. Because of that, I was not angry with them.

“We are truly sorry for everything, Autumn.” His mother apologizes. “We never meant to hurt you. We were only doing what we thought was the right thing for our son. But, as he rightly pointed out, we made a big mistake.”

I held her hand, “it’s okay. I know that your intention was not to hurt me. I know that you only wanted to protect Atticus. I understand why you kept the truth from him. I never once thought that you were trying to betray me.”

She gives me a grateful smile and pulls me in for a warm hug. “I still think that we are fortunate for choosing you to be our son’s bride. You’ve never let us down, and I don’t think you ever will. Judging by the way Atticus protected you, I think it’s safe to say that he also feels the same way. I never thought my son could fall out of love with Anya, but somehow you made that possible.

My sons are learning to bond with each other as they did in the past before she entered their lives, and I wanted to thank you for everything that you’re doing for us.”

“What are you saying to her?” Atticus asks dangerously. The threat in his voice was not hidden, and it surprised me that he took that tone with his own mother. He must be angrier than I thought he was.

It’s quite obvious that he doesn’t trust his mother around me, not after everything he’d just learned. I knew they would return to normal very soon; Atticus couldn’t stay angry with his family for too long. I knew him well, and eventually, he would understand why they did it. Maybe he already did, but it would take him a little longer to adjust to the truth.

He’s waiting for me at the bottom of the stair, and his mother pats my back, “go to him. You both have plenty to talk about. I don’t want him to get any angrier with me. I have plenty to do to earn his trust again.”

I nodded and nervously walked towards him. He took my hand in his and guided me back to his room. Our room.

The pictures of us were on the table near the bed, and it felt good to see them there. We’re both quiet, and I’m unsure what to say to ease the tension in the room. I’m waiting for him to ask the questions I knew he wanted answers for.

I’m surprised when he doesn’t say anything after a few seconds. I’m about to move toward the bed when he finally makes a sound. My feet felt stuck to the ground as I waited for what I knew was coming.

“Where is your ring?” he asks, breaking the silence.

I swallow; it makes sense now why he kept looking at my finger today. He wanted to know why I wasn’t wearing my wedding ring. I couldn’t believe that he knew the truth and chose only tonight to spill it.

I should have realized that’s the first thing he would ask me.

“In my purse,” I answer him truthfully. Even though I wasn’t wearing it, I still had it close to me at all times. I was honest when I told him that it was hard to look at the ring because it reminded me of him. But I also missed wearing it.

“Let me see it.”

I dug into the purse and pulled it out.

He took it from me and held it between two of his fingers. It looks extra tiny in his hand. I’m not sure what he thinks as he continues to stare at it. Maybe he’s trying to remember buying it for me. The silence in the room is deafening as I wait for his next move.

He lifts his head and pins me with his piercing gaze. My breath gets stuck in my throat at how beautiful yet fierce he looks.

I held my breath as he gently took my hand in his; I watched in awe as he guided the ring onto my finger. I didn’t think not wearing my ring would have bothered him this much. His hand lingers on my own, and it feels good to feel his touch, even though it is not much.

“Never take it off again.” He warns.

I’m speechless. I couldn’t believe that this was the same Atticus that was once crazy in love with Anya. He acted like a completely different person. What baffled me even more than this was that he had no memory of us. All of his memories were still about Anya. How could he still choose me when she was all that he knew? It was the first time that Atticus ever openly chose me over her in this manner. There was no mistaking it at all. What made him do it?

“Don’t you have any questions for me?” I ask hesitantly.

Even though he was kind to me, I could tell he was still building a wall between us. I didn’t want there to be a single thing separating us.

He takes a step towards me but still leaves some distance between us.

His jaw is tensed as he finally says something in response to my question.

“Why?” he asks.

That’s all? What was he expecting me to say to just one word?

“Why what?” I ask, waiting for him to elaborate.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner that you were married to me?” He asks. “Why did you wait for me to force the truth out of you?

There were many opportunities to say something, anything at all to me that would have told me who you truly were.”

It was the one question that I didn’t want to answer. If I did, it would open up all of the emotions that I was trying to bury deep inside of me.

“It’s not something I feel comfortable speaking about right now.” I lie.

His eyes narrow, “what better time than now is there to have this discussion, Autumn? I need to have all of these answers before we can move on from these lies. This isn’t a simple secret that was kept from me. This was an important part of my life that I knew nothing about for days. I want to know why you couldn’t just tell me.”

“I never wanted to lie to you, Atticus,” I assure him. “Clarissa told me everything about the accident. She also mentioned everything your parents and the doctor had said to her. Protecting you from the trauma was our main concern. No one knew how you would react after finding out you were married to me. I planned on telling you after you got the opportunity to spend more time with me. I was terrified of causing you more harm than good by telling you the truth. Besides, what would you have done if I’d told you? Would you have even believed me? I’m sure you would have treated me like I was crazy if I’d told you before you’d gotten the proof yourself.”

He sits on the edge of the bed and faces me angrily. “You didn’t seem that bothered that I was with Anya. I spent days with her right in front of you, but you let it happen. It makes me wonder if you ever had feelings for me when we were married. If you’re okay with me being around another woman instead of telling me that you are my wife, how can I believe anything you’re saying to me?”

I didn’t think his words could have angered me this much, but I was utterly wrong. How could he, for even one second, believe that I had no feelings for him? I was freaking in love with him for years! He was the one that didn’t love me back in all that time, yet he’s saying something like this to me.

I cross my arms over my chest, was he blind this entire time? It was obvious that I was bothered that she was taking advantage of his memory loss. I was never good at hiding my feelings from him.

“You don’t know anything about what I feel for you!” I snap. “If you couldn’t see what it was doing to me, I don’t think you paid that much attention to me, to begin with.”

His eyes narrow dangerously, “Then why couldn’t you speak to me? If you’re my wife, you should let me know! Just a few words.

‘Atticus, I’m your f*****g wife’; it’s not that hard.”

“Do you think it was easy for me?” I shout. “Do you think I enjoyed watching you with her? I hated every second of it. You have no idea the kind of pain I felt because of it. It was difficult for me, Atticus. Very difficult!”

“And what about me?” He demands. “Did you think I enjoyed feeling like I was losing my f*****g mind? Every day I would wake up feeling like something important was missing from my life. I would watch Anya and feel absolutely no emotions toward her. I would be next to you and want to pull you into my f*****g arms every damn second that you were next to me. Nothing was making any sense to me. It bothers me that none of the people I cared about took a second to think about what this lie would have done to me!”

I never knew it was this hard on him, but everyone was only trying to protect him. Anya was probably the only one being selfish when she lied to him.

“Are you not hearing what I’m saying to you?” I demand. “We were all scared that something horrible would happen to you if you found out that you were married to me. When you woke up on that hospital bed, you couldn’t remember anything about our marriage; it was clear that Anya would be your main concern. To avoid anything horrible from happening, we lied to protect you.”

His jaw clenches, and I can see my words finally getting through to him.

“She was the first person you wanted to hug. She was the first person that you were looking for. Clarissa told me everything. You never once asked for me. How do you think that made me feel after everything we’ve gone through together? I was hurting so much, Atticus. I felt guilty. Guilty because you were racing to save me when your jeep flipped. I felt like it was my fault, and it still feels like my fault. You went through all that, and I was nowhere to be found.”

My voice breaks as I whisper, “and then to see you with her after you promised me that you wouldn’t hurt me that way again. It was torture knowing there was nothing I could do; I couldn’t tell you how it made me feel, and I couldn’t complain because that would reveal the truth. I had to bury all of those emotions because that was the only way for me to protect you. I thought that I was doing the right thing. I knew it was the least I could do after you almost lost your life while trying to save me. How can you still stand there and tell me that I don’t care for you? I’m sorry that I had to lie to protect you, but I would do it again in the blink of an eye because. . . I love you.”

His gaze darkens at my confession. His stance completely changed to predatory as he focused only on me. My lips part as I try to figure out his next move. He wasn’t saying anything, and I wondered if telling him I loved him was taking it too far. We still were not allowed to shock him; my mind is racing now with regret. Should I tell him that I was lying? What should I do?

I gasp when he grabs my waist and spins me around so my back is now pressed against the wall.

He doesn’t move his hand; he continues to hold me and inches even closer to me.

His body is pressed against mine, and his eyes are searching my face; I don’t know what he’s looking for, but it’s making me nervous.

My bottom lip trembles as his finger lightly trace it from left to right. He moves to the upper one and repeats. I’m not sure why he’s doing it, but I never want him to stop.

“I don’t understand how I could ever forget kissing lips like these.” He growls.

My lips part at his words, and before I can respond, he crashes his mouth to mine. Despite how it started, his kiss is surprisingly soft and slow. I think he’s trying to remember what it felt like to have his lips on mine.

“I want to try something.” He says in a hoarse whisper as he breaks the kiss to jam me even more against the wall.

It’s like he’s waiting for my approval, and I slowly nod my head.

He moves his lips to my neck, and I cry out when he begins to suck on the mark. His mark. He knew exactly what he was looking for, and maybe he knew all this time. My body is trembling from having his hands and lips on me again. It felt unreal, and I couldn’t believe that this was happening.

His mark comes alive at his touch, and his face glows with triumph when he leans back and takes a look at his work.

“I was right.” He whispers. “You’re not just my wife. You’re my mate. I marked you.”

His eyes lifted to meet my gaze, and my knees felt like they were about to give up, “you’re mine.”