Hysterical Breakdowns and Twenty Questions

RHIANNON

I’m shaken awake five minutes later. Not really—it was six hours later, but it only felt like five minutes.

I sit up in the bed, willing my eyes to open. I grumble incoherently for a moment, wrapped in the blankets like a burrito.

Isaac pulls on his pants before walking across the hall to his guest room.

When he returns, I’m still in the same position, seated in the middle of the bed with the blanket wrapped around me, pouting.

“You’re not getting ready yet?” He sounds irritated.

“No,” I scowl.

He steps closer to the bed and yanks the blanket away. It was wrapped around me and under me, and his rough tug caused me to roll out of my cocoon onto the floor.

I’m still naked, it’s freezing, and the sun won’t be up for at least a few hours. Feeling grumpy is an understatement. I sit up on the floor and shoot him my angriest look.

“I forgot how small you are,” he laughs. “I didn’t mean to throw you.”

Forget everything I said yesterday. I hate this man.

Stomping into the bathroom, I start heating water for a shower. Isaac peeks his head in and says, “I want to leave in twenty minutes.”

Twenty minutes?!

I rush into the shower, rubbing the ache in my shoulder.

I’m nervous to leave with Isaac. Even though there is an undeniable connection between us, I don’t actually know him beyond the apparent lust I feel for him.

When I exit the bathroom, Isaac is pulling my suitcases into the hallway.

“Ready?” he asks gruffly. He doesn’t seem like a morning person either.

“Um, yeah, pretty much.” My voice is small.

When we get downstairs, a small group has gathered to say goodbye. Flo and Lily pull me into a hug.

“Don’t be a stranger, honey.” Flo squeezes me tightly.

“I won’t, Flo, thank you for everything.” I feel a small tear slip from my eye.

“Don’t cry.” Lily rubs my back softly. “I’ve never been to Vegas. It may be time for Jason and I to take a little vacation.”

“I would love that.” I smile through my tears.

Hunter and Ilana step forward next. “Take care of her, Jacko.” Hunter hits Isaac’s back as Ilana hugs me.

“Be safe out there.” Ilana breaks our hug. “I brought this down for you, to take with you.” She hands me a soft blanket.

“Thank you!”

“Hopefully it will help you feel more comfortable. It’s a long drive to Vegas.”

I remember what Flo said about the luna being the pack mother. Ilana is so naturally and genuinely caring and maternal.

I freeze when I realize that Isaac is an alpha. That means that I’m a luna. Being his mate means I’m supposed to be the mother to his pack.

How am I supposed to do that? I can’t even take care of myself.

Isaac takes me by the hand and leads me toward his beat-up truck. My feet feel heavy; they drag across the ground.

I’m not ready for this. I’m supposed to just cross the country with this stranger and be his luna and take care of a bunch of other strangers like their mother?

The door to his truck squeaks open and I slide inside. I spread the soft blanket over my legs, so happy to have something warm and comforting in this cold truck.

It’s like I’m in a trance for the first few miles. I don’t even realize I’m crying until a tear falls from my cheek onto my hand. I’m clutching the blanket to my chest, tightly.

Isaac sighs beside me. He seems irritated.

“Why are you crying, Annie?”

“I don’t know,” my voice cracks, and my chin quivers.

“Annie,” he says coldly, like he’s warning me. “I don’t like repeating myself.”

His attitude makes me cry harder.

“I-I-I… I’m just s-sad,” I sob. “I don’t remember anything about my life. ALL I know is Shelby, my little apartment, my job at the library, Flo.” I know I’m a snotty, tear-soaked mess.

“Now, I’m suddenly your mate? You’re a werewolf,” I sob loudly. “I didn’t even know werewolves were a thing and now I’m bound to one? I don’t even get a choice?

“I don’t know anything about you. I’m going to Las Vegas with you and you have a pack. I’m supposed to take care of them?” I’m almost screaming now, completely hysterical.

“What if I don’t remember to give people blankets? I’m not a wolf. What if I don’t do it right?”

Isaac is tense and quiet through my whole meltdown. His jaw ticks and he stares straight ahead angrily.

“You have a choice. If you don’t want me, if you can’t love my pack, you can go. Good luck out there on your own.” His voice is harsh and cold.

I turn and face the road. I don’t want to cry anymore, and I definitely don’t want him to know how much he just hurt me by being so cold. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself quiet.

He doesn’t care if I stay or go.

My heart breaks in my chest. I don’t even know him. Mate bonds are terrible, horrible things. I shouldn’t be able to be so completely decimated by a stranger.

A few hours pass in silence. I don’t look at him. As the sun starts to rise, I look out the windows, watching the world whiz by.

He groans a deep, haggard breath and pulls the truck into a rest stop. He turns to speak to me, but I jump out of the truck.

I don’t have to use the restroom, but I walk over there anyway. I need a few minutes away from him.

I splash cold water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are puffy and rimmed with red. My hair is disheveled and I’m extra pale.

I frown at myself. I stand in the bathroom for several extra minutes. I’m not ready to be in the confined cab of the truck with him again.

When I finally force myself out of the bathroom, Isaac is standing by some vending machines near the door. He steps forward when he sees me, and I try to quickly walk past him.

“Annie.” His voice is thick and frustrated. I ignore him and walk back to the truck, pulling open the door and climbing inside.

He stands at the front of the truck for a minute. He walks toward my side of the cab then stops, looks at the ground, and shuffles on his feet.

Finally, he turns and walks to the driver side door and gets in.

He lets out a sigh. “I got you this,” he holds out a small Styrofoam cup with a lid.

“Lily, um, she told me how much you like coffee. This is probably shit, it’s from a rest stop vending machine, but until we stop at a better place it’s…” his voice trails off.

When I don’t take the cup, he places it carefully in the cupholder.

“I didn’t know how you take it, so I got a bunch of this stuff.” He pulls a handful of sugar and creamer packets from his pocket.

He drums his fingers against the steering wheel for a moment before turning his body toward mine.

“Fuck! Annie, please look at me.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure how to do this, okay? I can feel how upset you are to come with me and...I’m panicking.”

I turn toward him but keep my eyes on my lap.

“I...the truth is, Annie, you do have a choice,” he says shakily. “You can reject me. It’s almost unheard of, but it can happen, usually when a wolf is mated with a non-wolf.

“I-I don’t want you to reject me. I’m sorry I was such an asshole, but I freaked out when you were so upset to leave.

“I understand why you would be afraid to leave, and it was shitty of me to not make you feel better about it.

“You’re not a wolf, I can’t expect you to be comfortable with everything immediately.”

I look up at him through my lashes. Leaning forward, I take two sugar packets and stir them into the coffee.

“Black with two sugars, that’s how I take it.”

“I’ll remember.”

I take a sip and choke. Whatever is in the cup has no business calling itself coffee.

Isaac laughs beside me. “Really bad?”

Instead of replying, I hold the cup out to him. He takes a small sip and grimaces.

He opens his door and throws the cup into a nearby trash can.

“Let’s go get some real coffee.”

After a few minutes of silence, he reaches over and takes my hand in his.

“No one will expect you to be a perfect luna on day one. My pack will love you, Annie. We were made for each other. You will fit into my pack perfectly, otherwise, we wouldn’t be mates.

“I’m not saying things will be perfect all the time or easy, but…” He squeezes my hand.

“Will you tell me about yourself?” I ask.

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything,” I smile.

He nods his head with a small smile. “Twenty questions. We’ll take turns, you start.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Starting off easy. Green,” he says. “You?”

“Mine’s green too, actually. Do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah, a younger sister, Laren. She’s going to give me so much shit when she meets you,” he chuckles.

“Why’s that?”

“I’ve always put my pack first. Other alphas would do pack visits if they hadn’t found their mate by twenty-four. I wasn’t interested.

“It’s not that I didn’t want a mate,” he looks at me nervously, “I just…I’m not great with emotions or heart…stuff.”

I look down at the blanket on my lap, rubbing the soft material.

“Wait, fuck!” he adds quickly. “Please don’t misunderstand. I’m so happy I found you. I just…look, I’ve already fucked this up and said the wrong thing.”

He rubs his hand over his face, obviously distressed.

“You didn’t fuck it up.” I think for a moment. “How old are you?”

“I turn twenty-six next month. Hunter told me you’re twenty-two?”

“Yes.”

“Laren is twenty-two. You guys will get along well, I think.”

“How many wolves are in your pack?”

“Five hundred twenty, soon to be five hundred twenty-one.” He smiles at the thought.

My mouth falls open in shock. Three hundred felt like a lot. Five hundred? How am I supposed to manage that?

“Hey, hey,” he grabs my hand, “remember what I told you. No one will expect you to know how to be a luna the day we get there.”

We pass a sign saying there is a Starbucks at the next exit.

“Do you want to stop?”

“Please,” I say quietly.

I’m trying not to freak out because I’ve learned that when I panic, he panics. When he panics, he reacts with anger. I have to ask him questions, but I don’t want him to get angry and shut down.

“Isaac?”

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you something without you getting angry?”

He pulls into the drive-thru line and turns his attention to me. He stares at me expectantly. Taking a deep breath, I just rip the Band-Aid off.

“What happens if I reject you?”

His eyes go wide for a second. His knuckles turn white against the steering wheel and I see his jaw lock.

“The bond would fade the longer we are apart and you could go on with your life.” His voice wavers at the end. I know he’s trying to remain calm, but he’s starting to panic.

“And you? What would happen to you?”

“I would continue taking care of my pack.”

“Would you get another mate?”

“No.” his voice is quiet. “We only get one.”

“Thank you for telling me and for staying calm.” I scoot toward him in my seat, gently rubbing his arm until he relaxes slightly. “Can I ask you one more question?”

He nods.

“Last night you said something about ‘marking’ me. What does that mean?”

“Shit,” he laughs. “I wasn’t expecting that to be the question. Um, a mark is a…bite.”

“A bite?”

“Yes, it’s a mate thing. I…I would bite you here,” he runs his finger over the place where my neck meets my shoulder and I shudder.

“The mark never goes away. It’s a symbol to other wolves that you have a mate. It also strengthens our connection; marked mates can feel each other on a different level.”

“So, you would mark me?”

His whole body tenses and I notice a bulge forming in his pants.

“Yes.” His voice is so raw and full of lust it makes me shiver.

“Is it like, a sex thing?” I can’t help but ask, given his reaction.

“Usually mates mark each other during sex, yes. It’s much more than a sex thing though. It’s an unbreakable link; it’s binding your soul to your mate. ”

“But I can’t mark you.”

“No, but we would still feel a deeper bond after I mark you.”

“Do you feel like you’re missing out? Since I can’t mark you?”

“Not at all. I feel our connection so strongly already, I don’t think we need it.”

I smile. I feel our connection strongly, too. The more I think about it, the more I feel like it isn’t just lust. I care deeply for him, about his happiness.

I’ve known him less than a day and the idea of being separated from him causes a deep ache in my heart.

I can’t imagine how I’ll feel in a week, or a month. I want to be near him. I want him to want me.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I lean forward in my seat and kiss his cheek.

He looks surprised. He takes my chin in his hand and brings me back toward him, kissing me softly.

The kiss is filled with all the things he’s holding in his heart—I feel his fear of rejection and his remorse over what he said this morning.

The car behind us honks, startling us. It’s our turn to order.

I have some big decisions to make. For the sake of his heart and mine, I’d better make them soon.