CHAPTER 19

Pon's POV

I woke up with my back hurting and aching, my body was covered in bruises and kisses from Sailub last night, I knew what had happened but.. I didn't.. my body didn't control.. I mean.. I couldn't control my body..

Sailub was in front of me while he was buttoning his polo after last night, I forgot he had to go to a meeting, he looked like he finished taking a bath.

"phi..." my voice trembled in embarrassment.

"i have to go to a meeting today, go back to sleep." said Sailub in a husky voice as he took his suit and then he walked over to me and planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

"don't go to work today, stay at home.. I was too rough last night." he said as he smiled and he got up and left the room.

I was embarrassed, what the hell was I thinking, what pill did I drink?! is it that drink that the guy gave me.. the first time we had dinner?

I was so stupid, I screamed and I slapped my face , the bed was wrinkly and the floor was filled with our dirty clothes.

I was embarrassed, I was feeling disgusted with myself, Sailub even took his last energy to clean up after me and clean up after our mess together..

I wanted to end the contract.. I wanted a divorce.. I needed to avoid him.. suddenly I subconsciously got up and went to the bathroom.

I threw up and luckily I threw up on the toilet and not on the marble floor.

I was sick, I didn't know what I was doing or what I was feeling, I didn't feel good, my body was aching badly, I was feeling nauseous and I didn't know..

I'm feeling disgusted with myself, I didn't know what to do, it's me and Sailub's first time..

I wanted to tell Garfield everything but I was scared to tell him because I think he'll be disgusted with me or.. even end our friendship!?

"what am I gonna do.." I mumbled as I looked at myself, I was still naked.. I quickly took my clothes and placed them inside the laundry basket.

I took some clean clothes and decided to just take a quick shower and clean my body.

I could feel the kiss marks.. the touch of Sailub on my body.. the way we did it last night was sloppy and rough.. I hated it..

I liked it to be honest but I hated the feeling of sleeping with Sailub, I forced him to do it.. I forced him.. he must've been disgusted by me and just forced himself to think he's okay and acted like he's fine.

I feel so damn embarrassed with myself, what am i gonna say to Garfield about this.. how am I gonna show up to work knowing I was uncontrollable and I slept with the CEO?!

I couldn't take it anymore, I finished taking a shower, wiped my wet body, slipped into my clothes and then cried myself in bed.

I didn't want to leave the bed, I didn't want to leave the house, I don't know what I'm gonna do, what if I never agreed to go with Sailub? what if I didn't even drink that pill..

I'm so wreckless.

I cried myself to sleep until my heart was aching and was beating so fast until it started to beat slowly.

I woke up slowly my body was aching, I heard a ringing sound from the bed side and It was my phone, Garfield was calling me.

I didn't want to talk to anyone but I didn't want to let Garfield down.. my Garfield.. what will he think of me?

I picked up the phone hugging my blanket and I sniffed as tears kept falling out of my eyes as I couldn't control them.

I sniffed again as I answered the call. "Pon? hello?" he spoke up.

"h-he-hey.. w-what's wrong..?" I tried to stabilize my voice as it was obvious I was crying, my voice all soft and filled with a lump on my throat.

"are you crying?" he asked as I wiped off my tears and I sniffed "n-no! just.. I watched a movie earlier, it was sad.." I lied, I hated lying but.. I can't face this embarrassment.

"oh okay, uhm.. I wanted to come by and I wanted to eat lunch with you since my boss told me it was okay to have a day off." he said as I sniffed and nodded agreeing with him.

"i'll send you the location where we can meet up, see you!" he said as he hung up, I continued to cry out loud as I hung up.

I screamed at myself slapping myself, I was stupid, I didn't deserve to love sailub anymore, I'm a monster.

"Pon, pull yourself together.. it was just one night.. it was just a mistake.." I mumbled to myself.

demons in my head stopped me from thinking it was okay, it hurts me the most, I was fighting with my mind.

I got up from bed holding my phone with nothing at all in me just me and my phone, I took the slippers and put them on.

I quickly left the house locking it since the phone has a key app in it, very useful..

I went to the location and I saw Garfield there sitting down waiting for me, I smiled softly as I walked towards him.

"garfield.." I mumbled as I tapped on his shoulder, he turned to me and smiled as he waved his hands at me.

"hey, sit down, I ordered some food for us." he said as I sat down and sniffed.

"what movie made you cry that much? you don't usually cry during movies." said Garfield as he continued to laugh at me.

should I tell him the truth..?