CHAPTER 17 - Her Shield

“Hello…Riko.”

Dara’s heart crumbled with the mention of that name. She fixed herself and sat at the edge of the bed, her gaze casted downwards. Her skin is still tingling with the sensation that Jiro left; her lips a bit swollen with the aftermath of their kiss. She clenched her fists tightly, her chest constricting as a wave of emotions flooded her. She will never be the same again. Even though she promised to, how can she forget what transcended between them?

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I have to hang up, I’m in the middle of something”, she heard him say.

Dara felt him staring at her, but she kept her head down. His footsteps entered her ears and she felt the bed bounce a little when he occupied the space near her.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

She honestly wanted to disappear at that very moment. His taste still lingers in her mouth and her nerves ached for his touch. But their brief freedom and momentary insanity has already ended, and she now has to face the sad truth.

“Ramirez”, he said. Ramirez again. Dara wanted to scream. She wanted to say many things; yet her lips remained sealed. She wanted to tell him that the uncertainty brought about by his actions suffocates her. That the fact that he is protecting her and is always around her because of a promise draws a border between them which she does not know if she’s allowed to cross. That it pains her because she knew, she’s already stepping on that line and she is uncertain if she will be pushed away. Yet, those words did not find their way in her mouth, for she does not have the courage to risk what they currently have.

“Yes, I’m fine”, she mumbled and tried to stand up, but her knees wobbled. Jiro was quick to support her, holding her by the arm and helping her regain her footing. She turned her head towards him and their gazes locked, his stare melting her and leaving her breathless. He reached for her, cupping her face with his palm and caressing her cheek with his thumb. She felt his roughness against her skin; his touch giving her both pain and happiness.

“Forget about what happened”, he said quietly and withdrew his hand. What he said stabbed her heart. Why is it that when he takes one bold step closer to him, he takes two steps back; making sure that she’s aware of the distance that separates them?

“Why?” She asked, exerting tremendous effort to prevent her tears from falling.

“Because it was a mistake.”

A mistake. Dara swallowed hard and averted her gaze, too weak to even utter a word. Does he really feel that way? Is it really impossible for him to like her? Or is it because of his promise to her father?

“You will graduate, find a stable job and find a good husband. You will lead a happy life – a life your father wanted for you.”

A life her father wanted for her. Does he think he is not capable of providing her that kind of happy life? Or perhaps, just like what he’s been telling her, he just sees her as someone he has to protect? Was she blinded by her own feelings that she failed to see that Jiro has no plans of reciprocating it and that she has been imposing herself on him?

So many questions are swimming in her mind. Sadly, they will remain unanswered.

“I’ll walk you home”, he turned around and walked towards his closet, grabbing a shirt. Dara stared at him somberly, watching his back, her heart tearing into pieces.

***

It was no ordinary Monday. The school was buzzing with excitement as students loitered in the hallway while talking about the recent InterSAT bonfire. Nobody expected that Ice Lord is going to raise the white flag. What’s odd is that he seemed to purposely abandon the fight midway. Everyone is in agreement that the winner between the Fire 39 leader and Black Dragon leader cannot be determined by that duel.

Dara, on the other hand, is not even remotely interested with the commotion that the students are causing. She went straight to her classroom and occupied her seat, still drained from the ordeal that she went through during the night of the InterSAT bonfire. The noise outside grew louder as minutes passed; the students huddled up in groups endlessly discussing about what happened.

Namee stepped inside with a solemn face. There is no doubt that she already heard what happened since it’s the topic of conversation in the entire school. Dara eyed her friend as she approached her and gave her a weak smile.

“You were able to stop him”, Namee started as she sat beside her. “But I’m worried about Bullet. I wonder how he’s taking it. The students are saying that the fight should be invalid because Ice Lord obviously gave up halfway.”

Her friend continued talking but nothing seems to register in her brain. Dara focused her gaze elsewhere, lost in her own thoughts. She didn’t even realize that Namee already stopped and is now staring at her curiously.

“Are you okay?” Namee touched her hand, startling her.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll talk to Bullet later and see how he is”, she said reassuringly, forcing another smile on her lips. She didn’t want her friend to worry about her when they should be worrying about Bullet. What she feels for Jiro is her own problem and something she has to deal with on her own.

“I’m just here. You know that, right?” Namee squeezed her hand, making her smile falter a bit, but she was quick to regain it.

“Drama queen”, she teased and reached for her bag to avoid Namee’s scrutinizing gaze. If they continue their conversation, she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to keep the act. Because the truth is, it aches too much to pretend to be fine.

***

The Black Dragon’s turf is in chaos; all because of the small guy who refuses to accept that their leader lost to InterSAT’s biggest flirt. He knew Jiro could have easily won the duel. He knew it. He has seen him in one of his underground fights before. What the students saw when he beat the leader of The Claws and when he was fighting with Bullet cannot even compare to what he witnessed in the underground arena.

“Will you fucking let me go? I’ll talk to that Fire 39 leader and demand a rematch!” Bonsai yelled and pushed his gang mates who were blocking his way. He has been yammering about how stupid it is to even call it a duel when it was obvious that Jiro was holding himself back.

When Picaro entered the turf, the rest of the Black Dragons exhaled in relief. Only Picaro is capable of talking some sense to Bonsai.

“What’s this ruckus, Bonsai?” Picaro asked.

“I’m going to the Fire 39’s turf and demand a rematch”, he said and headed towards the door, but Picaro blocked him.

“Get out of the way!” He hissed.

“Don’t you understand why Jiro did that?”

Bonsai shut his eyes firmly and sighed before looking at Picaro. “I know. That’s why I can’t accept this. If Ice Lord is not going to fight that Fire 39 bastard seriously, then I will. Now, move aside.”

“I don’t think that will help. It will only bring animosity between their gang and ours.”

“This needs to be settled, Picaro.”

“It already is. Nobody in InterSAT is even concerned about the winner of the duel. They’re all curious why Jiro did what he did.”

“But that duel holds the name of our gang!” Bonsai argued.

“We are not the ones who are humiliated, Bonsai. I’m sure Bullet is more infuriated than you are because no one recognizes his victory.”

“Tsch. Whatever. I’ll just go out.”

“Where are you going?” Picaro held Bonsai’s shoulder but he slapped his hand away.

“I won’t cause trouble, okay? You and your lengthy grandma lecture”, Bonsai shot back and stormed out of the Black Dragon’s turf.

***

“Black Dragons and Fire 39 are gathered!”

“What? Where?”

“At the Sparrow gang’s turf.”

“Is there going to be a brawl?”

The students crowded at the back of the library where the Sparrow’s turf is located, watching the events unfold. The overseer, Spade, darted his eyes between Bullet and Ice Lord who were standing in front of him with their respective gangs behind them. He was holding the white flag that Bullet returned, forfeiting his victory.

“The fight is void. I demand for a rematch”, Bullet muttered. Different reactions were heard around them and everybody waited in anticipation for Ice Lord’s reply.

“I refuse. I raised the white flag, so you won the duel.”

Some of the Black Dragons voiced out their disagreement but Picaro silenced them with his glare.

“You didn’t take the fight seriously”, Bullet hissed.

“Your aim is to defeat me. I’m telling you, you won”, Jiro said with disinterest.

“I can’t accept that!”

“Alright”, Spade interjected. “Let’s just do it this way, I will declare the match as a draw. Bullet, we cannot hold a rematch since Ice Lord is unwilling to do it. Ice Lord, since it’s a draw, you don’t have to honor Bullet’s demand written on the paper. And next time, if you’re not going to take the InterSAT bonfire seriously, do not submit a challenge again. Understood?”

The members of Fire 39 and Black Dragons looked at each other, unsure of how to react. Meanwhile, hiding behind the crowd, a guy smirked menacingly.

Stone, the leader of The Claws, turned around and left the scene while chuckling to himself. He has been away for too long, having been forced to go through the temporary exchange student program which is the school’s way of keeping him in control.

‘It’s good to be back’, he thought.

***

Dara has been trying to contact Bullet but the guy won’t answer his phone. She already heard that his duel with Jiro has been declared a draw and she’s worried if her friend is fine. Since classes already ended for the day, she decided to go to the Fire 39 turf to see if Bullet is there.

On her way to the back gate, though, she heard someone sobbing. With a frown, Dara walked towards where the sound is coming from and found a girl sitting on a bench behind the tree with her face planted on her palms. Sensing her presence, the girl lifted her gaze and looked at her. Both of them were surprised when they recognized each other.

“D-Dara”, her voice broke.

“Riko! What happened?” Dara quickly sat beside her and gave her a hug. “Are you hurt somewhere?” She asked.

“I don’t know what to do anymore”, Riko sobbed on her shoulders.

“Calm down and tell me what happened, if that’s okay with you. Maybe I can help”, she offered. Riko pulled away and shook her head while wiping her tears.

“This is about Jiro”, she said. Dara stiffened, knowing that her next words are surely something that she doesn’t want to hear. “I thought transferring to this school so that I will be close to him will bring us back together, but he’s slipping farther away.”

“W-What do you mean?”

“Jiro and I used to be in a relationship. I broke up with him but now, I’m regretting it. I should have been contented with what we have. I became greedy and expected too much from him.”

Dara felt like she’s looking at herself. Riko is just like her. But there’s a significant difference between them – Jiro accepted Riko while he is constantly pushing her away. Her heart sank realizing how foolish she was. He has been clear from the very beginning. He told her where she stands and yet, she persistently crosses the line and forces him to look at her the same way that she does. Maybe the kiss was her fault too. Jiro is a guy and she practically threw herself at him.

“I shouldn’t have broken up with him. Even if he doesn’t show me that he cares…”

‘You’re wrong’, Dara thought, her heart constricting with indescribable pain. Perhaps Jiro showed her that he cares in his own way but Riko is not used to the kind of person that Jiro is – detached, unreadable and stoic. And maybe, this is why Jiro felt guilty and regretful, because he was not able to give her what she’s expecting from him.

Riko stared at Dara, her eyes a mirror of the pain she’s going through. “I want him back, Dara”, she said, her voice almost pleading, as if Dara has the key to end her misery. “I want him back.”

“I-I don’t know how I can help”, Dara struggled to force the words out of her mouth.

Riko smiled bitterly and looked away. “I’m sorry for saying these things and for making you uncomfortable. I know you’re close to him and he treats you like a family that’s why I felt like you’re the only one who can understand me when it comes to him”, she mumbled. “It’s just that-…” Riko paused as she tried to control herself from crying again, but failed. “It hurts so much to see him and not be with him”, she sobbed.

“Riko”, she heard Jiro’s voice approaching them. Dara swallowed the lump forming in her throat and tried to even out her breathing, ignoring the seething pain that is tormenting her. She watched as Riko stood up and walked towards him. She watched as Jiro opened his arms and enveloped her in an embrace, gently stroking her back and asking her to stop crying.

Dara silently stood up and began to walk away, leaving the two behind. Jiro has been constantly trying to put a distance between them while she desperately runs and closes the gap. Perhaps…it’s time for her to take two steps back.

***

Her head is in chaos and her heart is thumping in an abnormal rate as she walked absentmindedly towards the back gate. She can’t even remember why she’s going there; images of Jiro hugging Riko filled her mind. It hurts so much that she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She just wants to get away…far away from him.

Bullet was silently watching her from the Fire 39’s turf. He followed her with his gaze when she walked towards the building’s pillar and leaned her back against it, her head hanging low. She doesn’t seem to be herself and he bet, it’s because of Jiro again.

Without wasting another thought, Bullet descended the stairs and approached her. She silently looked at him with deadpan eyes and forced herself to give him a smile. “Bullet”, she said softly. “How are you? I’ve been trying to call you. Namee and I are worried. Have you applied medicine to your wounds?”

“I’m fine. Don’t you know who I am? My greatness can cure my wounds”, he joked.

Dara poked his bruise, making him wince. “Your greatness seems to be deteriorating. You’re not healed yet.”

“They’ll heal soon. So, what happened to you? What did your Jiro do this time?”

Dara’s smile disappeared in an instant. “He’s not my Jiro”, she said in a pained voice. Bullet stared at her sullen face and sighed.

“Oh well. At least you have your Bullet. And your Bullet needs a hug because he’s injured”, he flashed his boyish grin and opened his arms at her.

“Stop joking”, Dara said.

“I’m not joking. Your Bullet needs a hug”, he wiggled his fingers and arched his eyebrows at her.

Dara shook her head in defeat, her lips curving in a tiny smile. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his upper torso. Bullet enveloped her in a hug, squeezing her a bit. She buried her face on her friend’s chest, his warmth soothing her; giving her an assurance that she’s not alone. The emotions that she’s struggling to hide welled up and consumed her, until she was not able to hold it any longer.

She choked down a sob and held Bullet tightly, her tears dampening his shirt. She doesn’t want to put him in an awkward situation but the pain that lingered in her heart with the realization that she will never be able to be like Riko in Jiro’s life drives her insane.

“Sshhh, it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m used to this. My greatness really drives a lot of women to tears”, Bullet cooed. Dara burst out laughing while her tears kept on falling.

With her arms still around him, she lifted her gaze and looked at Bullet. “Yeah, you’re really great”, she said.

“And handsome.”

“And handsome”, she repeated in a hushed tone while smiling.

“And kind.”

“And kind.”

“And…what else?”

“And you smell sooo good! What perfume are you using?”

They both chuckled briefly and stared at each other with a stupid grin on their faces.

“Whenever you’re hurt, just seek me out. I can be your shield, munchkin. I will receive the blows for you and I can also hide your pain. And when the time comes that I don’t serve my purpose any more, you can just throw me away”, he said jokingly, but his eyes conveyed the sincerity behind his words.

“You’re so poetic, Mr. Lee.”

“I can be more than that, Miss Ramirez”, Bullet whispered, wiping her tears with his thumb. Gradually, he leaned down and gave her a peck on the cheek. He pulled back and stared at her briefly before pressing his lips against her lips.

His kiss lingered for a moment before he withdrew, roaming his eyes on her face. “There. I hope that will make the pain go away”, he mumbled.

“It worked”, Dara said and smiled at him. “I feel better now.”

Jiro’s arms hang limply on his sides after witnessing the scene. He took a tentative step forward, his heart thundering inside his chest. But seeing her smiling at him and remembering the pain in her eyes when she walked away earlier, he froze on his spot. Slowly, he took two steps back and turned around. This is what he’s supposed to do; the promise that he made. No matter how tormenting it will be, he should not waver again. For a worthless man like him, his future is but a long and thorny path, and dragging her with him is not part of the plan.

Writer's Note:

Credits to MRSSHINDONGHO for the lovely banner! ^_^ I was informed that she actually did the image manip for her fic.

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Cheers!

huntress ^_^