Save Me: Chapter 7

On Monday morning, there is no other topic of conversation than the party. After our school’s online forum almost exploded over the weekend because everyone shared and commented on their pictures and videos, our classmates give us a high five in passing today and thank us for the successful evening. The action was not only a headline in our daily newspaper, it has also reached other schools in England.

Of course, my parents didn’t believe a word I said when I assured them that I had nothing to do with the whole thing, but in the end they were angrier at Lydia, who didn’t show up at the party at all.

All in all, the campaign was a complete success.

At least until the loudspeakers rattle in the corridors and an announcement echoes through the school.

‘James Beaufort is immediately summoned to the office of Rector Lexington.’

I expected that. Lexington has already expressed his disappointment at the incident during the assembly, which takes place every Monday before classes start at Boyd Hall, and reminded all students of Maxton Hall’s code of values in a meaningful voice. It’s always the same: We pull off an action, he tells the entire student body how shocked he is, then calls us to his office, only to warn us and dismiss us five minutes later.

‘Let’s see if he gives the same lecture as always,’ Wren says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. He presses me to his side for a moment. ‘Don’t let yourself be made small.’

‘I never do,’ I reply, say goodbye to him and the others and stroll on my way to the rector’s office. Once there, his assistant points wordlessly to the door.

Without hesitation, I knock twice.

‘Come in.’

I enter and close the door behind me. When I turn around, I am taken aback. Next to the headmaster’s desk stands Coach Freeman, and right in front of him sits … Ruby. She gives me a quick look over her shoulder before looking ahead again.

‘You wanted to talk to me?’ I ask. I’m a bit surprised by the audience.

Lexington points with his hand in front of his desk to the seat to the right of Ruby. ‘Sit down.’ His tone is different than usual. Normally, he sounds equally annoyed and irritated when he talks to me, as if it were all just annoying to him and as if he would rather quickly turn back to the important things of his work. This time his voice is disturbingly quiet. The furrows on his face also seem deeper than usual. Apparently, I didn’t have a good day for a lecture.

I drop into the chair in front of his desk.

‘Is it true that it was you who made some—’ He clears his throat. Apparently, he first has to look for a word appropriate for these premises. »… Have hired entertainers who have caused unrest?’

At the word ‘entertainer’ I have to hold back a laugh.

‘That depends on who you mean by ‘entertainer,’ sir,’ I say slowly. ‘I swear I had nothing to do with the DJ.’

Lexington nods and looks at me with steel-gray eyes. ‘Do you think this is a joke, Mr. Beaufort?’

I raise my shoulders indecisively. ‘Some days, sir.’

Ruby gasps indignantly. I look at her, but she immediately avoids my gaze.

Principal Lexington leans forward on his dark mahogany desk. The light that shines into the room from outside illuminates his face only halfway. The silence in here suddenly seems almost ghostly to me.

‘Say, Mr. Beaufort. How do you think this incident will affect the reputation of our college?’

I have to think about the answer for a moment. ‘I think that something like this is quite good for our image. Everything is always much too stiff here, it doesn’t hurt to loosen it up every now and then.’

‘You really don’t have all the cups in the cupboard anymore,’ Ruby hisses.

‘Ms Bell!’ barks Mr. Lexington. ‘It’s not your turn now.’

Ruby’s face turns chalky pale. She presses her lips tightly together and lowers her gaze to the green backpack lying on her lap. He looks like he’s going to fall apart at any moment.

‘Mr. Beaufort, what you have done has crossed a line. I cannot tolerate such acts at Maxton Hall College.’

… therefore, I hereby issue a warning. If you engage in such behavior again, you will face consequences.

I know Lexington’s lecture by heart. I would love to have a say and watch his reaction.

‘You are a grown man, and this is your last year of school. You need to start taking responsibility and realize that your actions will have consequences,’ Lexington continues.

Oh. This part is new.

‘Since you ruined the first event of the school year, I think it’s only fair that you support the school’s events committee from now until the end of the term. Let’s call it community service under the supervision of Ms. Bell.’

A second of silence. Then…

‘What?’ Ruby and I shout at the same time.

The next moment we are staring at each other.

‘That’s out of the question,’ I say, while Ruby mutters, ‘Sir, I don’t know—’

Lexington raises his hand and silences us. He looks at me over his rimless glasses, his eyes seeming to bore into mine.

‘Mr. Beaufort, you have been at this school for five years. In that time you have allowed yourself the most impossible things,’ he begins, ‘without me once calling you to account. I turned a blind eye when you organized a car race in the schoolyard. I let you get away with it when you and your friends thought it would be a fun idea to outfit the founder statue with a cheerleader outfit and wig. Or when you created online dating profiles for me and other teachers. Or when you had an unauthorized party at Boyd Hall. Not to mention the countless times you’ve appeared drunk at official parties. But you finally have to learn that your actions elicit reactions. Maxton Hall College has built a reputation over the past two centuries. We stand for discipline and excellence, and I cannot allow you to jeopardize that over and over again with your youthful recklessness.’ Now Lexington looks at Coach Freeman, who nods briefly. After that, his gaze is on me again. A queasy feeling spreads through my stomach. ‘Mr. Beaufort, you are suspended from the lacrosse team with immediate effect for the remainder of the term.’

The blood rushes in my ears. I see that Lexington opens his mouth and continues talking, but not a single word gets through to me anymore.

Last season, an opposing player tackled me so hard with his stick that we both hit the ground with full force – he hit me with his entire weight. I had never felt such a severe pain before, and for half a minute it was simply impossible for me to breathe in.

That’s exactly how what’s happening right now feels.

‘That . . . you can’t do that,’ I croak, hating how pathetic I sound. I clear my throat, take a deep breath, and force the mask of impenetrability back onto my face, just like my father taught me.

‘Yes, Mr. Beaufort. I can,’ replies the headmaster calmly, folding his hands in front of his stomach. And before you threaten me with your parents – I have already spoken to your father this morning. He assured me that he would support any punishment I decided to take.’

I didn’t expect that either. ‘Sir, with all due respect, it’s our last season. I’m the team captain, my boys need me.’ Seeking help, I look up at Coach Freeman.

The regret in his gaze feels like a punch in the stomach. ‘You have yourself to blame for that, Beaufort.’

‘Alistair is suspended for the next three games. When I’m not here—’

‘Cyril will step in as captain, and I’ll put one of the freshmen in your position.’

My throat gets dry. I feel heat shoot into my cheeks with anger and my hands begin to tremble. I clench them tightly into fists, dig the short nails into my skin until it hurts and my knuckles crack.

‘Please, Coach.’ Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Ruby sliding back and forth in her chair. The situation seems terribly uncomfortable to her, but at this moment I don’t care what she thinks of me.

This is my last year of school. The last few months until my life goes completely down the drain. For lacrosse – for this last, carefree time with my friends – I would do anything. Even if that means I have to beg in front of Ruby Bell’s eyes.

To my horror, Coach Freeman does not soften. He just shakes his head, both arms crossed in front of his chest.

‘Ms. Bell, I trust you to explain everything about the events team to Mr. Beaufort,’ Principal Lexington continues, as if he hadn’t exactly destroyed my life. ‘He has to take part in every meeting, to take part in every celebration until the term is over. If he refuses or causes you problems, you will come directly to me, understood?’

‘Yes, sir,’ Ruby says quietly but firmly.

‘When is the next meeting? Then Mr. Beaufort can make a note of it in his diary.’

Ruby clears her throat, and even though I really don’t want to, I turn my head to her.

Her gaze is hard. Mine is harder.

‘The next meeting is today after the lunch break in room eleven of the library,’ she says, without any emotion in her voice.

I clench my teeth tightly. I am desperately looking for some way out of this situation, but it is impossible. Besides, I have no idea how to explain the matter to my parents.

This time I really fucked it up.

Ruby

‘What?’

Lin shouts it so loudly through the group room that the people in the library can probably all hear it. The rest of the team just stares at me in disbelief after my announcement.

‘James Beaufort is now a member of the events team,’ I repeat, just as neutral as the first time.

Lin bursts out laughing. After she has calmed down halfway, I start again: ‘Please behave normally when he’s about to come.’ In my last sentence, I look at Jessalyn Keswick, who is in the process of applying her lip gloss. The soft pink flatters her black skin, just like all her makeup. Jessalyn is a beautiful, charismatic person and captivates everyone – including me. I could look at them for hours.

‘What?’ she asks with an innocent smile. ‘I just want to look my best when Beaufort comes here.’ She blows me a kiss on the hand. I roll my eyes, but pretend to catch it and then carefully stow it in my pencil case. The rest of the team laughs.

‘What does Lexington expect from it?’ asks Kieran Rutherford, a boy in the Year Among Us. With his pale skin, sharp, onyx-colored eyes and a tad too long hair, he looks like a vampire – a young Count Dracula with sharply cut features. He is also a scholarship holder at Maxton Hall and the one in our team who works most reliably and ambitiously next to Lin and me. ‘That we convert him and lead him back to the right path?’

Lin snorts. ‘Believe me, converting doesn’t help either.’

There he is. The reason why Lin is my best friend at Maxton Hall.

‘Hey!’, Camille interrupts. It doesn’t surprise me, after all, she is one of Elaine Ellington’s best friends and thus part of James’ clique. On top of that, she can’t stand Lin and me and hates that we’ve been given the leadership of the committee. I don’t know why she’s still on the event team, but I suspect that she’s only interested in the note in her report card. In any case, she does not get involved with passion and diligence.

‘Anyway,’ I say quickly, because I see that Lin has opened her mouth to say something. ‘He will attend our meetings, whether we like it or not. I just wanted to warn you. He was also suspended from the lacrosse team for the remainder of the term.’

Jessalyn whistles appreciatively. ‘But Lexington took a lot of action.’

A murmur of approval goes through the room. ‘Beaufort didn’t deserve anything else,’ says Lin. ‘We spent half the holidays planning the back-to-school party, and he just ruined everything with his action. Besides, Ruby had to let Lexington complain to her for half an hour today.’

‘Seriously?’ Kieran asks incredulously.

When I nod, he says indignantly, ‘But it’s not your fault that Beaufort smuggled these people into the party.’

I raise my shoulders indecisively. ‘We hosted the party, so Lin and I are responsible for it. In addition, the entrance should have been better controlled. From this point of view, we are already partly to blame. He wants us to apologize publicly on the Maxton Blog so that people know that the thing wasn’t planned by us.’

Which makes my anger at Beaufort much greater. Since I’ve been at Maxton Hall, I’ve never been admonished – by any teacher, let alone by the headmaster himself. If I want to have even a spark of hope of being accepted to Oxford, then I need a pristine white file, and James has endangered it with his childish behavior. I’m certainly not going to let my future be ruined by an idiot who has too much time and money and doesn’t know what to do with it.

‘That’s totally stupid and makes no sense at all. You’re the last one who should take responsibility for this crap.’ Kieran frowns angrily.

I smile gratefully at him and ignore Lin’s meaningful look. She has been trying to make me believe since the end of the last school year that Kieran has a hopeless crush on me. But that’s complete nonsense. He’s just a nice guy.

I clear my throat. ‘Shall we begin then?’

The others nod at me, and I point to the whiteboard on which Lin has already written the agenda items for today’s meeting. ‘First we should follow up on the party – what went well, what didn’t? Apart from Beaufort, of course. Camille, would you take minutes?’

Camille gives me a scathing look, but unfolds her pad and picks up a pen. Lin begins to describe her impressions of the party, and I look at the clock for a moment. It is now shortly after two. The lunch break is over. So Beaufort should be here at any moment. An uneasy feeling spreads in my stomach. It’s fluttery and dull, as if I were… excited.

I immediately suppress the thought and join the discussion. We need so much time for the feedback round and the formulation of future to-dos that we have to postpone the remaining items until the end of the week. We distribute some more tasks among us, and then the meeting is over. Afterwards, Lin and I stay in the group room to formulate the letter of apology.

James Beaufort does not show up for the entire two and a half hours.

After Lin and I send the letter to Lexington, we say goodbye to each other. Lin goes to her car. Her home is not far from our school, but there is no bus going there, which is why her mother gave her a small used car last summer.

My hometown is half an hour from Maxton Hall College. With its crumbling facades and poorly maintained streets, Gormsey is pretty much the opposite of glamorous, but I like living there. Even the daily bus ride to and from Pemwick, where Maxton Hall College is based, doesn’t bother me. On the contrary, it is the most relaxed time of the day for me. During the ride, I don’t have to be the Ruby who doesn’t tell anyone about her family, nor the Ruby who can’t share her experiences at school with her family. Instead, I’m just… Ruby.

On the way to the bus stop, I pass the sports field, where the lacrosse team is currently training. As I pass by, I watch the players sprinting up and down the entire pitch in their equipment.

The player with the jersey number 17 catches my eye.

I stop abruptly. Then I step closer to the fence and hook my fingers into the wire mesh.

The guy wants to take me in his arms.

With my mouth open, I stare at Beaufort, who passes a ball to Cyril Vega while running. I can hear his stupid laughter from here.

This… this… Asshole!

Just at that moment, Beaufort turns around and discovers me. Through the helmet, I can hardly see what is happening in his face, but his posture changes. She stiffens, and he stretches his chin almost a little defiantly. That damn idiot! Behind me I hear the roar of the approaching school bus. Despite the raging heat spreading in my stomach, I avert my gaze from James and walk the rest of the way to the bus stop.

Let him do what he wants.