Chapter 10: Apologies

Ghost POV

I sit at my desk, working through a stack of forms for an upcoming mission. I'll admit I'm not in the best mood, and I'm struggling to focus. I reach over for my drink, knocking it over to the ground, "Fucking hell" I say under my breath. I stand, looking at the dark liquor spilled on the floor. I walk around my desk, I should clean it before it gets sticky.

I walk to my door, opening it, I immediately bump into someone. This day keeps getting fucking worse, "Why the fuck are you-" I stop myself. I look down at the smaller man, "MacTavish.." I say quietly, he looks like he was about to knock. He quickly puts his hand at his side, "Uh, Lieutenant, sir" John says nervously.

I look him over, "Yes?" I say, unsure of how this conversation will go. "Well sir, I.. Uh.. *cough*" he looks to be struggling. "Do you have something you want to tell me?" I ask, he looks around the hall and back to me. "Could I speak with you Sir?" John asks, I cross my arms, looking down at him.

"Is this a work matter?" I ask, Stay professional, he looks down, he starts to ball his fist, rubbing his fingers together. He's thinking of what to say, clearly not a work matter, I step to the side, allowing him access to my office. He walks in, I close the door following behind him, he sits in the seat in front of my desk.

I walk behind my desk, stepping into the now sticky substance on the floor, Shit. I walk from behind the desk towards the door, I open it, "Get janitorial over here in five minutes" I say out. I close the door, I walk back towards my desk, leaning back on the front of it. I cross my arms looking down to John, waiting for him to talk.

Soap POV

I rub my hands on my legs, Ok, you practiced this on your way to work today, you got this. I look up to him, the first thing I notice is his mask, he barely wears his mask when he's with me. His eyes, disinterested "I wanted to talk about yesterday" I say. Simon lets out a sigh, "Mhm.." he sounds, "Do you... Want to talk about yesterday?" I ask.

He turns his head away from me, "No?" I say, "Talk" he says. His tone sounds harsh, this is how he talks to other people, so I shouldn't pay too much mind to it. "I want to apologize.. For everything that I said and what you saw" I say. He looks back down at me, "It's fine" Simon says, "It's not, I yelled at you and I said things that I didn't mean" I say looking down.

Simon sits in the chair next to me, leaning back, keeping his arms crossed. He's watching me intensely, "This is feeling less like a conversation and more me talking at you.. Sir" I say. He looks me up and down, sitting up, he stays quiet. I'm unable to tell how he's feeling behind his mask, even if he didn't have it on, his face would be the same, but I'd know how'd he felt.

He seems so closed off, as if he doesn't want me here, he doesn't want to talk to me. I knew this would happen, this always happens with people I'm around me. They get to know me and then they leave, why do they always leave me, it's not fair.

"MacTavish" Simon says, raising his voice, I look up to him, he's leaning towards me. "Yeah?" I say, he leans back in his seat, "I said that I was sorry" Simon says. "Oh, thank you, sir" I say, we sit quiet for a moment. "Could I.. Ask you something?" Simon says "Sure" I say, he leans forward in his chair, thinking for a moment.

"Yesterday, when I was at your house, I may have said somethings, that I didn't realize was.. Distasteful" Simon says. He keeps his eyes averted from mine, as if looking into mine will distract him, "I know you were just trying to help, sorry for yelling at you the way I did" I say. I watch as he intertwines his fingers together, "That's not what I'm asking" Simon says.

Keeping his head down, his eyes move up, connecting with mine. "I want to know why you called me Lydia" he asks, I get a tense feeling in my chest. "I.. I-I didn't mean to do that" I say, "I understand you didn't mean to but I want to know why me trying to help you caused that kind of reaction" Simon says.

It's difficult to put into words, I mean I love her, I do, but it was different when we first met. Yes, it was meant to be a one night stand, so clearly we didn't get to know each other. I guess it makes sense, instead of getting to know each other, we focused on raising Maddison. Does that mean that mean she didn't learn to love me, how I loved her?

"I-" I'm cut off my a sudden knock on the door, we both look in its direction, Simon stands, turning his chair in the proper direction. He snaps his fingers, pointing to my chair, walking over to the door. I turn the chair I'm sitting in, where it's facing his desk.

Ghost POV

I open the door, "Afternoon Lieutenant" Gold says, I look her up and down. She's holding a bucket and a spray bottle, "Yes, Gold?" I say, confused why she's here. She holds up the bottle, "Sargent Garrick told me to be forgiven for my actions the other day, that I should help you in any way needed" Gold says, in a semi-annoyed manner.

Gaz, I look into the hall, I see him watching our interaction, he give me a thumbs up, walking away. Son of a- I look back down to Gold, who's now looking me over, "That isn't where my eyes are Gold" I say coldly. She looks back up to my face, "Apologies Lieutenant" Gold says, standing straight. I look back into my office, John is sitting patiently, waiting for me to return back to him.

I turn back to Gold, who's looking me over again, "There's a spill behind my desk, on the floor, clean it up then report back to sargent Garrick, understood?" I order. My words cause her to smirk, "Behind the desk? Understood.. Lieutenant" She says my rank seductively. I'm going to fucking kill him, I step to the side, allowing her to enter.

She walks in and notices John, I watch her shoulders drop, "Oh.." She walks over to him offering her hand. "Private MacTavish I assume?" Gold asks, John shakes her hand back "Yes Ma'am, and you're..?" John asks back. She stands straight, pointing to the stripe on her arm, "Private- First Class, Ericka Gold" She greets with a smile.

The first class title she just received, and for her behavior towards me, I should just recommend that she gets bumped back down. I close the door harshly, causing both of them look at me, "If you came in here to talk, leave" I say.

Soap POV

Simon's tone against Gold is understandable, even with his mask on, I can tell he doesn't admire the fact that she's interrupting her our conversation. She turns back to me, clicking her tongue looking to the door, Is she telling me to leave? I watch as she walks behind Simon's desk, leaning down with her bucket in hand.

I turn to Simon, he stands by me, crossing his arms, watching Gold. I pat his leg, he looks over to me, I point to Gold, who's now making eye contact with him, while wiping down the floor. He walks over to his desk, grabbing his notepad, writing something one it. While he's writing I get a good view of his back, the shirt he's wearing is thin, allowing me to see the details through it.

He turns back to me, handing me the note, it reads 'Sorry about this'. I softly chuckle, I motion for a pen, he hands one to me. I draw a little bar of soap and a skull on the note, handing it back to him, he looks it over, putting it in his pocket. I hit his leg again, a bit harder, he hits my arms back.

'Give it back' I mouth to him, he shakes his head, I look over to Gold. She's now focused on whatever is on the ground, making a frustrated grunt with every scrub. I look back to Simon, This fuck, I quickly dig my hand into his pocket to retrieve the paper. Causing us to be in a silent battle of strength for the paper, 'Fuck off' I mouth.

He grabs both of my wrist, pinning them on the arm rest of the chair I'm in, he furrows his brows and motions his head in Golds direction. I furrow my brow confused, he leans towards my ear, "This isn't very becoming of a Lieutenant and his subordinate, so be a good soldier.. and sit still" Simon whispers to me. He lets go of my hands, standing back next to me, with his hands behind him.

Gold stands from behind the desk with, she has an annoyed look on her face "The mess is cleaned up, is there anything you need me to do, Lieutenant?" Gold asks. "No, you're dismissed" Simon says harshly. She starts for the door, A little cold, She turns back towards us "Lieutenant, could I speak to you?" Gold asks. I turn away, letting out a silent sigh, Here we fucking go.

"I'm sure Garrick would like to know your progress" Simon says, keeping his position, "Understood, Lieutenant" She says, leaving the room. Simon sits back in the chair next to me, "Go on" he says, I assume he's talking about what we were discussing before. "I.. I'd rather not discuss my past with Lydia" I say.

"MacTavish" he says, I adjust in my chair, "This doesn't seem 'work related'" I say. Hopefully reminding him of his conversation with Gold, I look back to the door, What are the chances of her breaking the door down just to talk to you? I heard him let out a sigh. Simon grabs my chair pulling me closer to him, he looks in my eyes, "Johnny.."

His eyes shift around, as if he's thinking of something to  say, "Lieutenant I-" Simon quickly stands. Leaning forward on his desk, he lets out a deep sigh, "This isn't about work.. This is me and you.. Talking" Simon struggles to say. I stand, leaning back on his desk, "So this is.. Personal?" I ask. He turns his head slightly, looking me over.

Ghost POV

"Mm" I sounds in agreeance, he cross his arms, taking a breath. "Ok then, Lieutenant" John says, my title rolls off his tongue almost naturally, sending a vibration up my spine. Shit, "So since it's just you and me, can we speak casually?" I request, standing from my leaning position. I look down at him, he smiles at me, "Casual huh? Would it be wrong for me to say that you like the sound of your own name?"

I like the sound of my name when you say it, "Somewhat" I respond quietly, I hear him chuckle, he looks down. "It's difficult to talk about my past with her, I mean it started messy and ended horribly, me staying in that situation so long only made things worse" John says solemnly. "But now I'm out, and I can do the things I wasn't able when we were together" he says, his tone getting lighter.

"What happened that made it bad?" I ask, his eyes shifts for a moment, "Do you remember when we went to that horrible coffee place and you asked me if I had cheated on her?" John asks. I start to understand a bit , "Yes, and I apologize" I say, he waves off my apology. "Well it's difficult to get a divorce lawyer when a man says that his wife pushed him around" John says.

I furrow my brow, "Most would suspect foul play, or that I'm simply lying to get an easy divorce, but now I'm slowly getting back on my feet, got a new apartment, which you've seen, and I'm able to see my daughter" John says. I look back down, I feel him nudge my arm, "But hey.. I also got a new friend" he says.

I look back to him, "Me?" I ask, "My daughters stuffed bunny, Mr. Apples.. And I guess you too" John says, smiling at me. He stretches his arms up, "Good thing I talked to you, in about.. 3 minutes I have to go for training, so I should start headed that way" John says. My eyes follow him as he stands from his leaning position, "What are you doing?" John asks.

"I have to fill out a few forms, after that I have to talk to sargent Garrick" I say, he looks me up and down. "Maddison is at her moms tonight, maybe after you get off I can buy you a drink?" he suggests, I look over to my empty glass. "I'll text you when I'm off" I say, he smiles at me, leaving my office.

As soon as he closes the door I take off my mask, throwing it across the room "Fucking hell". I sit behind my desk, turning to face away from it, I start to feel stressed knowing what John told me. I hear my door open, "Gold told me that she finished her task, did she help?" Gaz says, almost as if he insinuating something.

I turn my chair back around, he's holding up my mask covering his face, "Stop fucking around, why did you send Gold in here?" I ask annoyed. He lowers the mask, revealing his face to me, "Glad to see you too Ghost" Gaz says. He walks over, setting my mask down, "You've been pretty irritated lately, you might feel better if you stick your dick in something" Gaz admits.

"So you sent in Gold?" I say coldly, he laughs out, "Yes, if I knew someone was in here I wouldn't have sent her" he admits. He looks me over, "Speaking of, who were you in here with? I've seen him around but I'm not sure I've met him" he asks. I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms, with an unpleasant look on my face.

"Quiet are we now.. This is new" Gaz says, forming a smile, "Jesus.." I say, standing from my chair. I grab my mask, putting it on, "Is this a thing we're gonna talk about when everyone goes out tonight?" Gaz asks. I walk over to the door opening it, "Can't, I'm going to the bar tonight" I say, trying to end the conversation.

"Perfect, we'll all go" Gaz says, walking into the hall, I stand in my doorway. "Gaz.. Do not-" he quickly speeds down the hall, waving back at me. I walk back into my room, closing the door, I lean back on it, rubbing the back of my head. "Shit" I whisper to myself.

{I totally forgot to watch YOU, I've been watching Ugly Betty on Netflix, the show feels like a movie each episode but it's a series. I hope that makes sense, but it's good so far, ANYWHO! Hope you enjoyed!}